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Christmas Dinner Woes

georgie

By georgie
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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georgie Enthusiast
georgie
Posted

My extended family still don't get this gluten-free diet. The latest is that I have been told not to come to Christmas dinner as I have 'that funny diet'. It is really annoying and I feel hurt. My sister in law is one of those who pretends to be gluten-free sometimes but eats regular food as well. So are my cousins. So they think I am being OTT silly about the whole idea. I have been gluten-free for 4 years now and they have made no attempt to learn about it. There was a birthday party last month I was not invited to either. Husband is supportive - he sees how sick I get with a cc reaction. We will have a quiet Christmas and gluten-free meals ourselves. But I still feel hurt... :(

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sandsurfgirl Collaborator
sandsurfgirl
Posted

Your post makes me want to cry. To tell someone not to come to Christmas is... I have no words. I'm so sorry.

sandsurfgirl Collaborator
sandsurfgirl
Posted

Who exactly asked you not to come? One mean person or the whole family? Maybe you need to just go. They can't isolate you from your family! That's just crazy!

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

My extended family still don't get this gluten-free diet. The latest is that I have been told not to come to Christmas dinner as I have 'that funny diet'. It is really annoying and I feel hurt. My sister in law is one of those who pretends to be gluten-free sometimes but eats regular food as well. So are my cousins. So they think I am being OTT silly about the whole idea. I have been gluten-free for 4 years now and they have made no attempt to learn about it. There was a birthday party last month I was not invited to either. Husband is supportive - he sees how sick I get with a cc reaction. We will have a quiet Christmas and gluten-free meals ourselves. But I still feel hurt... :(

Prepare your own Christmas dinner, heat it in the microwave, and ask them what all the fuss is about??? :o This is ridiculous. You can handle it, and them. The important thing is not to make a big deal of it. Don't talk about it, bring your own snacks (in your pocket if you have to), and let them see that it is not a problem. If it's not a problem for you, how can it be a problem for them. So you don't eat their food? One less mouth they have to feed :lol:

georgie Enthusiast
georgie
Posted
  • Author

It was my mother. The Christmas dinner is at s-i-l's and brothers. Mum runs the brothers and tells everyone what they need to do. I am unsure if the gluten-free food is just an excuse and there is some other reason for this.

We can't be bothered to fight. Perhaps s-i-l and brother just don't want us there. But then Mum does go around totally confusing people about my 'funny diet'. Which is not helped by the s-i-l and cousins eating cc all the time - but claiming to be "gluten-free".

Who exactly asked you not to come? One mean person or the whole family? Maybe you need to just go. They can't isolate you from your family! That's just crazy!

missy'smom Collaborator
missy'smom
Posted

Oh, my! I'm so sorry this is happening to you :( If it's any consolation, my grandmother would told our mom not to bring the kids(us) for Xmas as she didn't want us to mess up her white sofa and carpet. Never really got to know the woman. That's OK, our other grandma(Dad's mom) more then made up for it. Are there other folks who's company you could enjoy, not necessarliy for a dinner but just to spend some time with in some way to share Christmas in some way with?

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

How awful! But I imagine this isn't entirely a surprise. Your mother has some other issue besides the diet. I suspect that if it wasn't a different diet, it would be something else.

That is unless you are a demanding b :ph34r: about the food. Demanding they must cook what you can eat and in a certain way. But you seem like a reasonable person from your post. :)

If you are worried that your mom is telling the rest of the family that you don't want to come, you might call each one and just calmly tell them that is not the case. They may not know whats really going on.

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jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Hi georgie--goodness, I'm so sorry. Can you call your SIL directly and tell her you will bring your own food--all you will need to do is microwave it and no one needs to worry about what you can and can't eat?

serenajane Apprentice
serenajane
Posted

My extended family still don't get this gluten-free diet. The latest is that I have been told not to come to Christmas dinner as I have 'that funny diet'. It is really annoying and I feel hurt. My sister in law is one of those who pretends to be gluten-free sometimes but eats regular food as well. So are my cousins. So they think I am being OTT silly about the whole idea. I have been gluten-free for 4 years now and they have made no attempt to learn about it. There was a birthday party last month I was not invited to either. Husband is supportive - he sees how sick I get with a cc reaction. We will have a quiet Christmas and gluten-free meals ourselves. But I still feel hurt... :(

Wow hope you aren't offended but it seems like you have some real (JERKS) in your family.

I can see asking to bring something that you can eat because they can't be sure of gluten in foods but to ask you not to come how terrible.

my sister in-law has tweaked Thanksgiving dinner for me

she isn't going to stuff the bird and she will use organic gluten-free broth as well to insure I can enjoy a meal

she will leave the flour out of the topping on sweet potato casserole so I can have it.

I am very sorry you have to put up with such ignorance how UNKIND!!! :(

Nor-TX Enthusiast
Nor-TX
Posted

Isn't it funny how the holidays bring out the best in people and the worst in people? How sad for you, but even sadder for your family because they will not be a complete family for the holiday.. I believe they probably already live fragmented lives... :(

Rowena Rising Star
Rowena
Posted

That is so depressing! Whatever happened to the Christmas spirit? It ain't about the food for heaven's sake. It ain't about the presents. Its about the togetherness and the warm feeling you get when you give to others. And it is about Christ's gift to us, himself. I think maybe your family needs a little reminder of what Christmas is about. This is so sad. You can come to my house for Christmas. *hug* And besides aren't families supposed to be there for you no matter what?

I am sorry. What your family is doing is not fair, and I wish there were something I could do for you.

lynnelise Apprentice
lynnelise
Posted

How sad! :( I can see why your feelings are hurt. I hope you and your husband have a great Christmas together!

jess-gf Explorer
jess-gf
Posted

You are right to feel hurt, I would be! This sounds like there are some other issues going on and they're just using gluten-free as a scapegoat. It's about them. Maybe you and your hubby can go somewhere special that night to have fun, or volunteer at a homeless shelter or something :)

nutralady2001 Newbie
nutralady2001
Posted

i am so sorry Georgie! I too wonder if there are deeper issues here.

Tell them you'll bring your own food (make it "Christmassy" and VERY appealing) all you need is a microwave to heat it and see what they say then.

I am so lucky. I usually go to my daughter's and she always checks with me and reads labels then asks if she isn't sure.

If you lived close by you could have Christmas lunch with us, no worries about food or c/c......... ((((hugs))))

sahm-i-am Apprentice
sahm-i-am
Posted

I am so sorry you have to deal with this, but there are some great posts above for ideas. I LOVE the ideas about going to a dear friends house, someone who accepts you and whom you want to be around. I second the idea of helping in a homeless shelter/soup kitchen. I guess this is the chance to create your own new traditions for your immediate family.

But still, it does stink that family can be that way.

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