School Absences

[SilverSlipper]

I feel completely alone and just a smidgen like a bad parent. I have three kids - my middle daughter has celiac. Our school allows 10 absences per school year that are excused by a parent's note. One of those is used each year when we go to the beach (yes, I know, bad me, but hey, the in-laws pay for the whole week-end, even the food!) - that's our only 'skip' day. My daughter seems to have a lot of stomach aches which include diarrhea and sometimes vomiting. A few times I can find the culprit as being a gluten factor (one time the school changed taco seasoning which glutened her and a couple of times an ingredient I used had it in there). Other times, it's a stomach ache and who knows? She's in 3rd grade and very sensitive to being different (she's small for her age) and we both cringe at the thought of her having an accident in class or throwing up. I typically keep her home. Her 504 plan allows us to keep a set of textbooks at the house in case of a major gluten reaction (she'll miss around 7 school days when that happens - 10 days of illness total), so we study and she stays in bed (no video games, computer, etc). Her 504 addresses absences related to celiac disease, but I'm not sure if the one or two day absences are excused or only the long stretches.

She has a stomach bug at the moment (it's running rampant through the schools) and missed today and will miss tomorrow. That puts us at 12 absences for the year.

I want to add that she's a straight A student, was awarded the citizenship award last reporting period, is in the top 5 students for her grade in AR points and in the gifted program (one of three kids in her grade to be placed there). She's also active in Children's Theatre, her church and Soccer. So, her stomach aches aren't from problems at school.

I think she may have another food sensitivity developing, but haven't figured it out yet.

Are there other parents out there whose kids miss school a lot? I've sent an email to our vice principal to ask him how I need to handle these two days out. But, I'd love some thoughts in the meantime. I did make her go last week when she didn't feel good. She kept her head on the desk the entire day and then came home and threw up. We never figured that one out either.

[Wenmin]

I am a teacher in the school system and we also follow strict attendance laws in my parish. I would recommend getting in touch with her doctor that treats her for Celiac and ask him to write excuses when you are absolutely sure it is a glutening. In my parish, if the absence is doctor excused, we cannot hold this against the student for unexcused absences. (By the way, parent written excuses are labeled as temporary excuses.)

Wenmin

[Marlie]

I recently got a letter from my Childs school for two weeks of absences and had to go get the doctor write a note. I can say last quarter she missed something like 13 days of school alone. Its frustrating when school systems hassle parents of straight A students who have no behavioral issues but medical issues. I recommend getting your doc to write notes every time she is sick and call the doctor when she is sick so you have a paper trail.

[teresasupermom]

My dd has been missing a lot of school this year as well. We had to work on her going to school even if she's not feeling 100% or she'd be missing a lot more. I am not sure how many absences we are up to this year, but it's definitely more than 10.

[Darn210]

I wouldn't call my daughter overly sensitive. She doesn't really miss much school due to a gluten reaction. Within this last year, we have been having issues of unknown cause on approximately a monthly basis. I don't know if this is a precurser to a monthly cycle (she's 10) or if this is something else developing (we are looking at CVS - Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome - which can be a precurser to adult migraines). However, even though she doesn't feel all that well, she usually stays at school. The nurse and the teachers know that she's not contagious. She does have the permission to run for the door (ie bathroom) any time she needs to without having to stop and ask permission. If she's having a particularly miserable hour, she'll go lay down in the nurse's office and then go back to class when she's feeling better. If it's really bad, I pick her up. I think taking some time off in the nurse's office has helped keep the number of days low. It helps that the school nurse totally gets it.

[srall]

At the beginning of the school year we planned a trip to Disney World. Then all the "issues" began. Actually they were there, but things were really getting bad. By the time I pulled my daughter off of gluten/dairy and corn, which was the middle of October, she had missed 8 days of school. Since going gluten free she's only missed one, and I'm annoyed because she could have gone to school. I'm still planning on taking her out for 3 days for Disney. Don't know what I'll do if the school has an issue. I guess just talk to the principal and explain our case. I did talk to him about Disney at the beginning of the school year because I wanted to make sure it wasn't during testing time.

[dilettantesteph]

The year that my son stated showing symptoms he missed about a third of school. They had been sending him to the social worker who said that it was school phobia. When our doctor came up with celiac disease they didn't want to believe it. They wouldn't let him leave the room when crackers were passed around the room. He got crumbs all over him and must have ingested some. This was after my meeting with the principal with the doctors instructions in hand one of which was not to expose him to wheat, barley or rye. Then when he got sick and I kept him home they threatened to report me to child protection services. It was a nightmare and the doctor was very helpful by sending numerous notes to them. Fortunately my son was a good student and managed to get through the year. He was in 6th grade at the time.

He is very sensitive and this year missed 17 days of the first quarter. We finally figured out that it was because he had two study halls in the school cafeteria. When they changed him to a classroom he stopped getting sick. This was at a different school and they were better about it. I got the doctor involved early on after my previous experience so that might have had something to do with it. Now he is having problems with possibly being withdrawn from his advanced classes from his poor performance while he was sick. Fortunately he has time left in the year to show that he can do it.

These school issues can be very hard to deal with. You have my sympathy.

[frieze]

When our doctor came up with celiac disease they didn't want to believe it. They wouldn't let him leave the room when crackers were passed around the room. He got crumbs all over him and must have ingested some. This was after my meeting with the principal with the doctors instructions in hand one of which was not to expose him to wheat, barley or rye. Then when he got sick and I kept him home they threatened to report me to child protection services. It was a nightmare and the doctor was very helpful by sending numerous notes to them. Fortunately my son was a good student and managed to get through the year. He was in 6th grade at the time.

He is very sensitive and this year missed 17 days of the first quarter. We finally figured out that it was because he had two study halls in the school cafeteria. When they changed him to a classroom he stopped getting sick. This was at a different school and they were better about it. I got the doctor involved early on after my previous experience so that might have had something to do with it.

These school issues can be very hard to deal with. You have my sympathy.

re the the above, did you consider that was assault and battery upon his person????

[SilverSlipper]

I've resigned myself that I may get a note about it and if so, I'll send in a reply detailing the fact that her medical condition makes things difficult and reinforcing that we stay on top of her schoolwork and she's otherwise healthy. I saw the vice principal today and he told me that he's going to look through her absences and if I wrote that it was due to a celiac reaction, he'd code them as doctor excused.I'm hoping that takes care of it, except I can't remember if I wrote it on there or not. I'm fairly sure that I did as I know the potential for her missing a lot of days. (The year she was diagnosed we were getting letters about her absences and then once she was diagnosed they stopped). I also told her that she's going to have to go and if she's still feeling bad after being at school for an hour, she can call me. (She didn't go today because she still had diarrhea last night and the school has a 24 hour diarrhea free rule - this was for a stomach bug, not Celiac). Next year, I'll remind them to code notes with Celiac as doctor excused at the start of the year so I'll have a more accurate count.

Although I've had some issues with the school and my oldest daughter (autism and non-verbal), things typically go smoother with this child and my youngest. I'm glad they're going to work with me on it. I hope they realize that I'm not keeping her out deliberately. After all, I still have to take my other two kids to school so it's not as if it benefits me in any way to keep her home.

[davidsmomceliac12]

I feel completely alone and just a smidgen like a bad parent. I have three kids - my middle daughter has celiac. Our school allows 10 absences per school year that are excused by a parent's note. One of those is used each year when we go to the beach (yes, I know, bad me, but hey, the in-laws pay for the whole week-end, even the food!) - that's our only 'skip' day. My daughter seems to have a lot of stomach aches which include diarrhea and sometimes vomiting. A few times I can find the culprit as being a gluten factor (one time the school changed taco seasoning which glutened her and a couple of times an ingredient I used had it in there). Other times, it's a stomach ache and who knows? She's in 3rd grade and very sensitive to being different (she's small for her age) and we both cringe at the thought of her having an accident in class or throwing up. I typically keep her home. Her 504 plan allows us to keep a set of textbooks at the house in case of a major gluten reaction (she'll miss around 7 school days when that happens - 10 days of illness total), so we study and she stays in bed (no video games, computer, etc). Her 504 addresses absences related to celiac disease, but I'm not sure if the one or two day absences are excused or only the long stretches.

She has a stomach bug at the moment (it's running rampant through the schools) and missed today and will miss tomorrow. That puts us at 12 absences for the year.

I want to add that she's a straight A student, was awarded the citizenship award last reporting period, is in the top 5 students for her grade in AR points and in the gifted program (one of three kids in her grade to be placed there). She's also active in Children's Theatre, her church and Soccer. So, her stomach aches aren't from problems at school.

I think she may have another food sensitivity developing, but haven't figured it out yet.

Are there other parents out there whose kids miss school a lot? I've sent an email to our vice principal to ask him how I need to handle these two days out. But, I'd love some thoughts in the meantime. I did make her go last week when she didn't feel good. She kept her head on the desk the entire day and then came home and threw up. We never figured that one out either.

my son david in a hypersensitive witch means he even smells anything with gluten and he has a reaction may it be a headache of an upset stomach he gets sick.he can not eat school lunches and i suggest you have your daughter stop as well. it's just to dangerous and there is cross contamination everywhere in a school lunch room. that being said my son has missed 28 days of school this year alone and is continuing to miss. it suck and yes it makes you feel like a bad parent but it is par for the coarse. we find out next week if we go back to mayo in minn. ( witch i hope to god we don't ) but we may have to. i am having trouble controlling the reactions and headaches and i just don't know what to do anymore he isn't growing and isn't gaining any weight so there really isn't much else we can do. so i really hope this helps and your daughter gets better .oh and just a little info. all company's change the ingredients from time to time in their food so make sure you read all labels all the time. so what might be gluten free this week may not be next week i have run into that problem as well from time to time and they don't have to put what is in their preservatives

[srall]

That's good advice about having a doctor's note to excuse illnesses due to celiac. However I have never held my daughter home because of a reaction to gluten. It's just that before she was diagnosed, she got every illness. In a six month period she got strep throat, a bona fide case of influenza, many many high fevers that lasted many days, a lot of sore throats and general illness. Every day I kept her home she was running a fever. I sort of have the same rule with her now that if she's feeling sick (and not running a fever) she needs to go to school, then can call me if she needs to be picked up. So, I know she missed because her immune system was shot, but not because of being glutened. In fact, she hasn't had one fever since October, since going gluten free. It's amazing. (Knocking on wood, of course)

[SilverSlipper]

Hi davidsmom, I waffle back and forth on school lunches. Last year was great, this year they have stricter rules which seem to complicate things. There was another kid with celiac at the school before we got there, so most of the hard work was done. They have a corner of the kitchen they prepare her meals and they have a dedicated cutting board just for her. I've tried to send lunch for her and not only was it expensive, it was extremely difficult to make it edible by lunchtime. Still, there are many new products out there in the past couple of years and it may be time to try again. Thanks for the suggestions. We have been caught a few times where a manufacturer has changed ingredients. I've changed the way I shop and if I buy something pre-made (such as classico alfredo sauce), I buy several jars (between 6 - 10). That way, I know what is in the pantry is safe and I only need to read labels at the store.

Srall - I'm glad your daughter doesn't react too badly due to gluten exposure. My daughter is in so much pain she doubles over and (once after eating a bowl of cereal that she shouldn't) couldn't walk from the cramping. She moans in her sleep. It's heart-breaking. Her reactions come with uncontrollable diarrhea (she has a free pass to run to the bathroom, but at these times even that doesn't help). Luckily, the really bad ones are few and far between. Still, trace amounts will cause stomach pain, diarrhea and occasional vomiting. We've also seen a lot of drowsiness but I'm not sure if that's from the gluten itself or just not feeling well.

[srall]

Srall - I'm glad your daughter doesn't react too badly due to gluten exposure. My daughter is in so much pain she doubles over and (once after eating a bowl of cereal that she shouldn't) couldn't walk from the cramping. She moans in her sleep. It's heart-breaking. Her reactions come with uncontrollable diarrhea (she has a free pass to run to the bathroom, but at these times even that doesn't help). Luckily, the really bad ones are few and far between. Still, trace amounts will cause stomach pain, diarrhea and occasional vomiting. We've also seen a lot of drowsiness but I'm not sure if that's from the gluten itself or just not feeling well.

[strawberrygm]

i noticed you mentioned it being hard and expensive to send gluten free lunches to school. i wanted to share with you all what i do.

since my daughter was the first one and only one in her school with celiac, noone knew anything about it. we agreed that she should not have to eat a cold lunch every day since she wasnt bringing her lunch based on preference but health. she has access to a refrigerator and microwave each day. since she isnt overly sensitive i didnt send her a personal microwave, i would if needed. she usually takes leftovers from meals we have had at home and warms them up for her lunch. this way she gets a good, hot meal, and its cheaper than the prepackaged meals. she was dx summer before 5th grade, so we did this at her elem school and now at middle school. her 5th grade year and first half of her 6th grade year her teachers she had before lunch would even let her leave class a few minutes early to warm her meal.

[SilverSlipper]

Thanks strawberrygm. When I first tried to send her lunches, I bought a laptop lunchbox ($$$'s) that she occasionally left at school, so I bought extra inserts (more $$$'s) and then tried to figure out lunch. Since we were dealing with some self-esteem issues (I guess that would be the word), I felt a lot of pressure to make her lunches look really 'cool'. Since I was also dealing with a new diagnosis, I didn't know how to cook well yet. The school decided that her teacher would be in charge of warming up her lunch and sometimes dishes were warped in the microwave or she forgot to put cheese on top (not blaming the teacher, I'm sure she was trying her best but this was kindergarten and there were lots of wiggling, giggling kids ready to go to lunch).

Eventually, the school started cooking her lunch after I found out that she would eat some of the lunch I sent, and then go through the line and ask which items she could eat and eat that as well (or instead). When we moved here, they already had worked with a child with celiac so they knew to buy the meat, veggies and fruit fresh. A typical meal would be a grilled chicken breast (with some gluten-free sauce on the side), rice, salad, steamed veggie and whatever fruit was cheap (frequently kiwi).

This year, they have had some rule changes about what they can serve and they are trying to make everything mesh together and have accidentally glutened her a couple of times. So, I'm debating. After next year, she moves to the middle school and I'm already hearing that the lunchroom is a nightmare - food tastes bad (one parent told me that she personally saw kids who had raw chicken nuggets and the lunchroom manager wouldn't re-cook or give them more), portions are small with no seconds (the other schools allow seconds depending on what they have extra) and the staff is rude. The other celiac kid is at that school now and his mother is about to start sending his lunches and has been vocal about the food being really bad. I don't mind fighting for things, but I'm not sure that this is worth the fight. I'll see how bad it is myself soon as my oldest is going to that school next year (she has autism with a lot of food sensitivities so the lunchroom is an important place for her as well).

My celiac daughter is in 3rd grade this year, but could definitely take care of heating up her lunch herself. I'm sure we're going to end up there at some point. Thanks again.

[celiac-mommy]

Both of my kids are super sensitive. Neither has missed any school due to gluten. My dd hasn't been glutened in 4 years though.

[strawberrygm]

Thanks strawberrygm. When I first tried to send her lunches, I bought a laptop lunchbox ($$$'s) that she occasionally left at school, so I bought extra inserts (more $$$'s) and then tried to figure out lunch. Since we were dealing with some self-esteem issues (I guess that would be the word), I felt a lot of pressure to make her lunches look really 'cool'. Since I was also dealing with a new diagnosis, I didn't know how to cook well yet. The school decided that her teacher would be in charge of warming up her lunch and sometimes dishes were warped in the microwave or she forgot to put cheese on top (not blaming the teacher, I'm sure she was trying her best but this was kindergarten and there were lots of wiggling, giggling kids ready to go to lunch).

Eventually, the school started cooking her lunch after I found out that she would eat some of the lunch I sent, and then go through the line and ask which items she could eat and eat that as well (or instead). When we moved here, they already had worked with a child with celiac so they knew to buy the meat, veggies and fruit fresh. A typical meal would be a grilled chicken breast (with some gluten-free sauce on the side), rice, salad, steamed veggie and whatever fruit was cheap (frequently kiwi).

This year, they have had some rule changes about what they can serve and they are trying to make everything mesh together and have accidentally glutened her a couple of times. So, I'm debating. After next year, she moves to the middle school and I'm already hearing that the lunchroom is a nightmare - food tastes bad (one parent told me that she personally saw kids who had raw chicken nuggets and the lunchroom manager wouldn't re-cook or give them more), portions are small with no seconds (the other schools allow seconds depending on what they have extra) and the staff is rude. The other celiac kid is at that school now and his mother is about to start sending his lunches and has been vocal about the food being really bad. I don't mind fighting for things, but I'm not sure that this is worth the fight. I'll see how bad it is myself soon as my oldest is going to that school next year (she has autism with a lot of food sensitivities so the lunchroom is an important place for her as well).

My celiac daughter is in 3rd grade this year, but could definitely take care of heating up her lunch herself. I'm sure we're going to end up there at some point. Thanks again.

you are very welcome!! i hope this helps you some!! =)