My Son's Sad Look Upon His Face

[Karl Otto]

My oldest son whom, is 37 yrs old was driving by a Burger King stand yesterday. He had to stop near the stand due to traffic. The smell of the fresh burgers and french fries were pumping out into the air. He told me, he felt so sad and wanted to cry. Imagine that, a grown man wanting to cry. He was very tempted to go straight in there and get one of those burgers, he claims. He thought better of it and drove on home. He looks me in the eyes, his father with a deep saddness and, ask if this is how it is to be all his life? He just shook his head in, saddness. It made me want to cry myself and, I felt realy bad, knowing, I was the one that gave it to him from birth. He got it from me.

Which, brings me to this point, why would any person whom is not married or married without children want to bring a child into this world when, they have this disease. The only way this disease keeps on spreading in through live birth. If the current young people of today know they have this disease when they have children ? You are going to make some innocent child go through all this hell, pain, and mysery. I would not have done it had I known, I had it at the age of 18 years old.

[Jestgar]

Why would anyone be brought to tears by fast food? You can eat hamburgers and french fries,I don't see the point of this.

[cahill]

Why would anyone be brought to tears by fast food? You can eat hamburgers and french fries,I don't see the point of this.

Homemade Sweet potato fries are AWESOME

[ravenwoodglass]

I find it extremely offensive that you are saying we should not have children. There are a lot worse things that we can pass down to our children than celiac. Things like racism, cruelty, self pity, selfishness, ignorance, immorality well the list is endless.

My being celiac and all the years when I struggled with pain and in poverty gave my children a strong work ethic, even when I could barely crawl out of bed I went to work every day for years. It gave them a sense of compassion for others suffering. It gave them the desire to get a good education and to help others in any way they can and one went into a medical field because she saw my struggles and it gave her the desire to help others.

Life is what you make of it no matter what your illness or shortcoming. There are much worse things to pass down to your children than celiac.

I wish I could have had more children and do not for one minute regret that I passed down celiac to them. What I did give to them far outweighs the inconvience of having to deal with a celiac diet. And I greatly look forward to having grandchildren when my children are ready to have them whether they are also celiac or not.

As for your son's sadness he may be going through withdrawl and there is no reason why he can not have a burger and fries. They just have to be gluten free. I really hope you are not telling your son's that if you had known they would have celiac you would have chosen not to have them. That would be extremely cruel and border on abuse.

[kareng]

Most people don't know they have the gene for Celiac. 30% of the population has ths gene. Only 1% ever activate it.

You continue to assert that this is a disease that is active at birth. This is not true.

It is hard sometimes, but he will get used to it.

Want to edit this to say 1% of the population not 1% of the 30% with the gene. My boys would be appalled at this math error.

[Jestgar]

Unless your son has been sick all his life, he hasn't had it from birth, and you can't say for sure that he didn't get the genes associated with the disease from his mother. It's not uncommon for a child to have celiac disease and both his parents be healthy.

[rgms]

I'm 22 years old and I was diagnosed a year ago, but now I've totally learnt how to live with my condition. I don't cry over burgers and never had the temptation to eat something that would make my body attack itself (like burgers).

I won't feel bad if I pass this on, because I've coped with it so well. I'm sure my children will have no trouble coping with it, either. As said, this isn't the worst thing you can pass on.

But people are different. Maybe you start considering suicide when you scratch your car or twist your ankle, whereas I just deal with such things. I think you and your son should pull yourselves together.

Celiac disease isn't the biggest problem here, I believe it's more about attitude and your aspect on life and how you deal with problems and on times when things don't go your way.

I don't think you should feel guilt for a moment for passing on the disease. Remember that you're the reason your children exist!

[Karl Otto]

I am talking about the people whom know they have it before they are married or before they become sexually active and, could easily make a mistake and have a child. People whom have Celiac Disease at present time whom, did not know they had it. Well, they have a valid excuse because, someone else had control of their lives.

Hambergs, are made of bread, meat, & Sauces. The last time, I looked those burgers have wheat in them. Some got Rye and wheat, too. Please, tell me you think they do not have it. It states so on the wrapper in my state and city. This product contains wheat, and/or rye. When, you use wheat bread in preparing anything, you contaminate that other foods as well. Come people, has the wheat gluten gotten to your heads. I do not believe in half-stepping here. Just like smoking cigarettes if you quick or say you are quitting it means absolutely no cigarettes what-so-ever.

Like me and food chemicals, I do not drink, chew, smoke, or use street drugs. Nor do I let them be used in my house by others as well. I do not drink, coffee, tea, or anything else with caffeine in it.

Those burgers always made my oldest son sick after he ate them. He would always say, they sure taste good going down but, he would lay back in his easy chair and say he feels sick for the first hour after eating them. He or myself never knew what was causing the sickness. Now, we know, what caused it.

Things like fast foods helped put him in allot of his bad health at present time, too. Over weight, and out of shape. He has a physically demanding job and his other jobs were also physically demanding jobs. It required him to lift heavy objects, bending, stupping, and walking around constantly. Yet, with all these physically demanding jobs, he still become over weight. His doctor says so in his medical records. Too, much fast food he says.

I personally think, that any responsible parent to be, would not want to pass on their medical conditions to their unborn children. Why put a child through the same hell as we have to go through now? They are innocent people. Not knowing something about your health is damaging to your family's health now and in the future times. Celiac Disease keeps on spreading because, we keep having children and knowing we have this disease within us.

[kareng]

Why can't your son make burgers at home? Udi's makes good buns and is located in Denver so they should be available. I like my burger without a bun.

Not sure why I am even bothering...

[Lima Bean]

I personally think, that any responsible parent to be, would not want to pass on their medical conditions to their unborn children. Why put a child through the same hell as we have to go through now? They are innocent people. Not knowing something about your health is damaging to your family's health now and in the future times. Celiac Disease keeps on spreading because, we keep having children and knowing we have this disease within us.

So why did you have 3 children if this is how you really feel? You knew you were sickly when you had them. You may not have known what was wrong with you, but you knew something was horribly wrong. You knew the first one had Autism but you had a second & third one? You knew you were on disability and had no way to support the third one, but you made another.

[Mleblanc1015]

You really need to stop babying your 37 year old adult son, maybe that's why he's crying over fast food. If he can't figure out how to buy ground beef and gluten-free french fries from the store and grill up a couple burgers with fries, then Celiac is the least of his problems. My daughter was diagnosed 6 years ago at age 2 and I was diagnosed a month later. She's 8 now and goes to birthday parties with gluten-free cupcakes and has never cried once over not being able to eat gluten. There are much worse things in this world than Celiac, it's only a change in diet. We made the adjustment and it's now second nature for both of us. There's enough good gluten-free food out there that there should be no reason to cry over fast food, sorry if it seems harsh but I would be embarrassed if my mother posted something like that about me, just sayin...

[lovegrov]

Oh please, Karl Otto, get serious. Having celiac is absolutely nothing compared to what you can pass along to your children -- susceptibility to heart disease, cancer, stroke and on and on. MOST children with a parent with celiac will never develop celiac. Are you really saying it's better for those people never to have lived simply because they might not be able to eat a Big Mac at some point?

Yes, there are times my celiac saddens me. My wife and I want to go to China and I'm not sure I can face it because of the diet. That's upsetting and causing some stress, but I'm glad I'm around. And I'm sure as heck glad I had children.

If your son continues to be so upset over the smell of a McDonald's he needs to get some serious psychological help. If you continue to be so upset you also need help. Some mourning is normal, but things get better.

[Poppi]

I was the biggest fast food junkie ever before I went gluten free and I've not once cried over a burger. Gluten free bun, homemade patty, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, cheese and tomato.... voila! Burger!

Being diagnosed with a life changing medical condition can cause people to go one of two ways. One can either get proactive and find ways to make their life better or one can wallow in self pity. I chose to get proactive and as a result my life is better than it ever has been. Apparently your son is choosing the latter option.

As for suggesting we should not have children? How dare you? My father has celiac and I certainly have never wished he had chosen not to have children. My children are happy, healthy and glad to be alive and if they are diagnosed with celiac in the future I will be able to serve as a role model in how to live a full life without gluten.

[Lima Bean]

This is an apology to everyone with an Autistic child or who is Autistic. I personally think it's fine to have as many kids, with or without disabilities, as you can physically, mentally, emotionally & financially handle.

I was just using Karl's argument back at him and his choices.

[tarnalberry]

Bull crap.

I knew I had celiac disease (for seven years!) before having my daughter. While she may or may not get it, the possibility does NOT mean that she shouldn't have been born.

My father knew that he had rheumatoid arthritis before I was born. While I have the possibility of getting it, the possibility does NOT mean that I shouldn't have been born.

My husband's mother has familial high blood pressure. While he is prone to high blood pressure if he's not careful, that does NOT mean that he shouldn't have been born.

No one has perfect genes. And yet, we can grow healthy kids.

Healthy kids do not look at one setback as the end of their world. Healthy kids know how to make their own food because hamburgers do not HAVE to contain wheat. (Really, arguing "but the package says so" is just silly around here. While we can get gluten free hamburger buns, we also know that sometimes you have to *gasp* prepare your own foods, even from scratch. And, honestly, homemade hamburgers are better than any fast food one I've eaten, and most restaurant ones as well.)

Fast food didn't harm your son - his choice to eat it over preference to healthy foods did.

Celiac disease isn't making your son miserable - his choice to not find ways to cope and work around it is.

And to say that all of this misery you describe for your son is what I'm giving to my 1 year old baby because I chose to have a child is both projecting and uninformed (because you assume I'm going to teach her the same as you've taught your son) and rude.

[mamaw]

Wow, is food what life is about? Yes, we are a social nation where food becomes a main social part of life but LIFE is about loving, caring, feeling, for someone other than ourselves. Why were we put here if was not to reproduce if we are able too. If we never multiplied then would there be many humans left in the world? I have very healthy adult children but they have a small issue in their life, celiac nothing else wrong -- educated & enjoying their own families... They vacation, work, eat , enjoy life as with anyone who has no health problems. They & their children have learned how to grow from this health problem.., & LIVE....

Honestly I don't know many people who have no health issues, knowledge is the key here.... in this day & age no one should be craving much of anything that is or they can't get gluten-free> Red Robin, Five Guys & so many more all have gluten-free menus... Knowledge is power.....

For families with kids that have disabilites-- I'm sure they will agree that their child is just as loving , caring & has a right to be on this planet as much as ones with no disabilites.. It's called love ....

Not everyone sees a handicap as a death sentence..

Negative people rub off on others when exposed to negative thoughts..Please read that statement several times........

Instead of complaining about celiac& poor me, defeat this illness & face it head on... Life will be good...Don't let celiac or any other illness define who or what you are....or you lose.......

For me I have never been sorry for having children....

[Karl Otto]

It is not being bad or stuck up, to want your children to grow up normal, strong, and happy. It is like child abuse, your grandfather abused you father he abuses you, and when you get grown, you abuse your child. The only way to stop it is to stops with you, yourself. Then, there will be no more abuse.

As with any disease, you know for sure that is in the family tree, it can be pasted along to your children. Child are innocent people, they do not deserve to be born with one foot in the grave before coming into this world. I look back on my young life and, I see where I have suffered because, I my two diseases and know, life would have been better if not for my two diseases. I had the strength in will power to do what it takes to win. But, the diseases must run their course so, I was handycapped right from the start. How, was I expected to tell my sons that, they were going to grow, be athletic, get a good educations and go on to college. At the same time knowing, that I had diabetes, heart conditions,and celiac Disease in the family tree. These things would put a screatching halt to the have happy life thing.

Having diseases, cost allot of money to control, it robs us of our future. It keeps us from working normal jobs and buying homes and giving things to our children and wives. Life is hard enough for normal people but, for the disabled it is evern harder and more costly. Sure, we the disabled do what you can and must to survive another day but, that is not living, just existing only. We make adjustments in our lives but, it is not living, its co-existing only.

I have been personally sick so long, I am sick of being sick. There is nothing, I can do about it, however. Celiac Disease and Hyperinsulinism Hypoglycemia do not get better with time but worse with time. They are classified as a cumutive diseases, meaning gets worse with time.

I have worked for two hours a day when, I was young on volumteer basis one time. I worked in a veterans home setting. These disabled veterans were very unhappy customers, they lived in mysery and, they did not like it, being disabled. Some were in wheelchairs, bed ridden, etc... Some wanted to be able to go out into the world again. They would have litterly sold their souls to be normal again.

[Darn210]

Why put a child through the same hell as we have to go through now?

My child is not going through hell because she has Celiac disease. She's happy and healthy because she follows the diet. She's active, outgoing, friendly, understanding, empathetic, compassionate . . . I could go on and on . . . There is no reason for her not to have children someday. She'll make a wonderful mother.

Life is what you make of it.

[Poppi]

As with any disease, you know for sure that is in the family tree, it can be pasted along to your children. Child are innocent people, they do not deserve to be born with one foot in the grave before coming into this world...

... How, was I expected to tell my sons that, they were going to grow, be athletic, get a good educations and go on to college. At the same time knowing, that I had diabetes, heart conditions,and celiac Disease in the family tree. These things would put a screatching halt to the have happy life thing.

Having diseases, cost allot of money to control, it robs us of our future. It keeps us from working normal jobs and buying homes and giving things to our children and wives. Life is hard enough for normal people but, for the disabled it is evern harder and more costly. Sure, we the disabled do what you can and must to survive another day but, that is not living, just existing only.

First of all. I. AM. NOT. DISABLED. Celiac disease is not a disability. A change in diet and I am healthier than I've ever been in my life. Because I have celiac my children will not have to suffer, they will be tested periodically and won't have to suffer the cumulative effects of years of undiagnosed celiac disease. I do not simply exist. I live! I kayak, surf, swim, hike, play with my kids, travel with my husband. I'm an amazing cook, I have friends and a garden and chickens in the backyard of the house I own. I have an education and have worked at "normal" jobs before I chose to stay home and be a homemaker. My life is everything I ever wanted it to be just without gluten on my dinner plate.

Secondly. There are many diseases in everyone's family tree. My grandfather has alzheimers and pancreatic cancer. My father has celiac. My father in law has type 2 diabetes as does his brother and father. Nobody is in 100% perfect health but raising our children to live happy healthy lives can head off some of these predispositions. My children may or may not have celiac disease but they play sports, do well at school and are expected to continue succeeding and excelling throughout their lives regardless of what type of food they are able to eat.

[Karl Otto]

Hey people do not get me wrong here. For about three years between 18 - 21 yrs old, I did wonderful things. I fished, hiked, camping, took photos professionally for the US Army. I traveled around the world, see many different people and learned that all people are equal and they all want the same things out of life. I was very happy back then. I almost felt normal. I was in college studing to be a writer. It was then the manure hit fan.

My disease took me out of the game of life. I am a living example what happens to the human body when, my two diseases are not taken care of right away.

[Poppi]

Hey people do not get me wrong here. For about three years between 18 - 21 yrs old, I did wonderful things. I fished, hiked, camping, took photos professionally for the US Army. I traveled around the world, see many different people and learned that all people are equal and they all want the same things out of life. I was very happy back then. I almost felt normal. I was in college studing to be a writer. It was then the manure hit fan.

My disease took me out of the game of life. I am a living example what happens to the human body when, my two diseases are not taken care of right away.

And what we are saying is because we have celiac then our children won't have to suffer the consequences of decades of undiagnosed celiac disease. We are aware of the symptoms and the possibility of silent celiac and our children will be tested often.

[cahill]

My disease took me out of the game of life. I am a living example what happens to the human body when, my two diseases are not taken care of right away.

Many of us have a long list of diseases , just look at some of the signatures.

I was undiagnosed for 40+ years.I have more than a couple of disease diagnoses.

I am living and loving life .

Your "disease" did NOT take you out of the game of life. You did.

Life is a choice Karl. Live,laugh ,love and treasure each moment.

[ravenwoodglass]

Many of us have a long list of diseases , just look at some of the signatures.

I was undiagnosed for 40+ years.I have more than a couple of disease diagnoses.

I am living and loving life .

Your "disease" did NOT take you out of the game of life. You did.

Life is a choice Karl. Live,laugh ,love and treasure each moment.

Very well said.

[domesticactivist]

It's normal to miss things, and yes, the Burger King experience is now out of the question. Sometimes I feel awful because people at school are eating Sun Chips and Snickers bars in front of me. It's hard to be faced with temptation.

When we first realized my 10 year old had celiac, he definitely went through a lot of drama about having to give things up. But with family support and a positive attitude, he's happy.

I was very worried this week because he was going to his first sleepover birthday party since the diagnosis, at a friend's house where gluten-filled foods are well-loved. The party was going to include extreme physical activity, late night movies, and dinner, breakfast, and lunch, and lots of midnight snacking. He was going to see other kids eating pizza, cake, pancakes or waffles, all old favorites. On top of this, we couldn't even send him his favorites and extra special treats, because he was at his dad's the day before the party.

I asked him how the party was, and he didn't have one mention of sadness. He was full of stories about all the fun he had. I asked him what he had to eat... carrots, pickles, and a special treat of dates instead of cake and ice cream were top of his list. Yes, he was ecstatic about dates instead of cake and ice cream.

As others have said, this doesn't have to be a life sentence of misery. Disappointment and dealing with cravings or things one can't have are a part of life for everybody. Actually, I think a bit of this kind of adversity is necessary for good character.

On top of this, Burger King is something nobody should be eating. It's poison, and causes health problems for most people who eat it regularly. In a sense, he's lucky to have discovered he has a solid reason not to eat it!

As for having children when you know you could pass something on... it is a complicated issue. I imagine you are actually feeling guilty rather than trying to attack anyone else. As a parent, I sometimes feel that kind of guilt, not because of celiac, but because of other things... mostly my mood issues and the financial/relationship circumstances surrounding my children's births. However, every person is born with some disadvantages in life. In the case of Celiac, it's not so bad. If the parents know how to cope with it, they can help the child! Celiac children with celiac parents actually have an advantage over celiac children with non-celiac parents.

Now that we know what we are dealing with, my son feels so much better about life. I recently posted a blog post on my website about taking the kids' camp fire club to camp, which I do twice a year. This is the first time my son enjoyed it, because we brought all our own food! Did he look longingly for a split second at the sausages, chicken strips, tacos, cobbler, brownies, and s'mores the other kids had? Yes! That used to be the highlight of the trip! But he enjoyed his new favorite foods instead, and this time he got to feel good and have fun. This is the first time he's actually wanted to stay the whole time and go back.

Your son gets to feel bad about missing Burger King. But it doesn't have to make you miserable, and it doesn't have to make you feel guilty, and it doesn't have to mean his life never should have happened.

[butterfl8]

I wish you could sit down with someone traditionally recognised as "disabled." Someone like-oh, your son. Are you incapable of doing for yourself? I don't think so. Have you ever read anything by Temple Grandin? She is autistic. The world might see her as "disabled," but I doubt she sees herself that way. She is a nationally recognized scientist and author, and a profesor in Fort Collins. Ask someone with diabetes if they are disabled. Now, (as you are an army vet), ask a vet who lost 1 or more limbs serving our country if he is disabled.

DISABILITY IS IN YOUR ATTITUDE. (And I believe the majority of the people I cited would not consider themselves "disabled." The majority of us here do not.)

You may be going through withdrawal, so I will give you a small amount of slack. If you knew that your son was going to be born autistic, would you have aborted the pregnancy? Or would you have allowed him the chance at life. You are asking everyone here to steralize themselves on a possibility. I don't want an answer on your son's life, but just something for you to think about. You can't ask anyone to make a choice about life, it isn't yours to say.