Spouse Is Nonsupportive

[heyteacher]

Ollie's Mom---you made me smile Thanks for your reply!

Maybe I should apologize for my post causing some feathers to get ruffled. Maybe I shouldn't have given info regarding my husband, I should have kept it about me and my issues.

I don't need his permission to go see a Dr. That being said, I can't hide the fact that I went to the Dr either. We are limited, actually quite limited financially. I am sure there are plenty of people who are members of this group who can identify with that. I am not suggesting that I am "special" when it comes to finances. We (my hubs and I)are very conservative when it comes to spending.

I want to say thanks again for all of your wonderful suggestions. We have had a good conversation about my "issues" without fighting, so that is progress. I don't know if I would had as much success without reading your supportive comments/replies. He still does not think a Dr appointment is in order, but we did have a good discussion.

I have never posted a question on a forum/discussion group so I'm not sure exactly what you consider appropriate/applicable to your discussions about celiac disease. Maybe I should have left the husband out of it? Anywhoo---I appreciate your support, this is the first time I have experienced any support (regarding by health) in a long time.

[kitgordon]

HeyTeacher - you don't owe anyone an apology! There was absolutely NOTHING inappropriate in your post, and you are not responsible when people disagree with each other's advice to you. It's fine to mention your husband's lack of support; we get a lot of similar posts.

I think you should tell your husband you absolutely need his support in either going to a doctor, or implementing a strict gluten-free diet - one or the other. Use the "in sickness and in health" line. And in the meantime, if you are too sick to function... DON'T! Let the kids miss some activities, let him pick up some slack in whatever your responsibilities are - let him SEE how ill you are. As long as you suck it up and keep a stiff upper lip and he is not inconvenienced by your illness, he is going to maintain the status quo because it is comfortable for him. Don't let anyone maintain their comfort at the cost of your own health. Good luck!

[ravenwoodglass]

HeyTeacher - you don't owe anyone an apology! There was absolutely NOTHING inappropriate in your post, and you are not responsible when people disagree with each other's advice to you. It's fine to mention your husband's lack of support; we get a lot of similar posts.

This was very well said. Heyteacher do feel free to post whatever you need to post and ask any questions you need to. This is a great place to vent or to ask for or give advice. You did nothing wrong.

[GlutenFreeManna]

HeyTeacher - you don't owe anyone an apology! There was absolutely NOTHING inappropriate in your post, and you are not responsible when people disagree with each other's advice to you. It's fine to mention your husband's lack of support; we get a lot of similar posts.

I think you should tell your husband you absolutely need his support in either going to a doctor, or implementing a strict gluten-free diet - one or the other. Use the "in sickness and in health" line. And in the meantime, if you are too sick to function... DON'T! Let the kids miss some activities, let him pick up some slack in whatever your responsibilities are - let him SEE how ill you are. As long as you suck it up and keep a stiff upper lip and he is not inconvenienced by your illness, he is going to maintain the status quo because it is comfortable for him. Don't let anyone maintain their comfort at the cost of your own health. Good luck!

Exactly! Thank you for saying so well what I was trying to say. Heyteacher don't worry about us--I've seen much worse ruffled feathers before. I'm glad you are having good discussions with your husband. Mentioning him was important and maybe it helped you get it off your chest so you can deal with talking to him more about this. Please feel free to ask more questions here in the future!

[gailc]

I have found the gluten-free diet to be traumatic, not the diet itself but searching for foods. In order not to go thru this again when I eventually get diabetes I decided to do that diet now too. (DIET=the food we eat and the liquids we eat).

The diabetic diet is pretty much gluten-free except for substituting gluten-free bread, but I'd rather have rice.

One raw food like a tomato, fruit veggies and protein and salad. Where's the gluten in that? I think this is easier than focusing on what I cannot have. I have not baked for 7 months. Soon.

Food when I am out alone is a trip to the grocery produce dept. for an apple or banana, or now since my gluten intolerance went away some yogurt which I count as a dessert.

Try to cook meals that you can eat JUST the gluten-free parts.