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I Just Want The Holidays To Be Over

alex11602

By alex11602
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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alex11602 Collaborator
alex11602
Posted

Normally I wouldn't complain in the least about not being able to eat everything because I am so grateful that I don't feel sick all the time, but this is our first holiday that has alot of things served which we can not eat. I am not sure if I can deal with the holidays this year, especially Thanksgiving...we always go over to my mom's house, no matter what since it is tradition and I guess she serves the normal food. There is turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, regular stuffing, sweet potato stuffing, sweet potatoes, sauteed mushrooms and cranberry sauce with pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie and apple pie for dessert. The only things I really ate were the regular stuffing, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce and the pumpkin and sweet potato pies...none of which I can eat this year:(

Eight months ago I just jumped right into gluten free eating and I haven't really had a problem with it, but now I am dreading the holidays and end up crying about it almost everyday which is completely ridiculous. I really want to see my family, we live really close to them but holidays are family time and it's pretty much a rule that we have to be there and I'm just unsure if I can deal with it this year.

I have tried to think of different options like not going, bringing my own food or eating before we go, but none of them are going to be options for a holiday meal. I tried talking to my husband about it but he doesn't understand why I can't just say we aren't going...my grandmother would be extremely upset and she is getting older so I'm just not sure I should do that to her.

I'm sorry, I just had to vent and I'm just not sure what to do right now.

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DonnaMM Explorer
DonnaMM
Posted

I don't know what job you have but I work as a nurse and purposely work thanksgiving (because that is the holiday where my family serves the most glutinous foods) as an excuse to get out of family dinner, but I know jot everyone has the ability. I assume because they are family they understand your medical needs. I would recommend asking your mom if you could help make thanksgiving dinner and do it gluten free style. Don't bother to tell the rest of your family they probably would not even be able to tell the difference. Plus it would be a great chance to spend time with your mom and she would probably love the help. Good luck and happy holidays

alex11602 Collaborator
alex11602
Posted
  • Author

I don't know what job you have but I work as a nurse and purposely work thanksgiving (because that is the holiday where my family serves the most glutinous foods) as an excuse to get out of family dinner, but I know jot everyone has the ability. I assume because they are family they understand your medical needs. I would recommend asking your mom if you could help make thanksgiving dinner and do it gluten free style. Don't bother to tell the rest of your family they probably would not even be able to tell the difference. Plus it would be a great chance to spend time with your mom and she would probably love the help. Good luck and happy holidays

I don't work right now and they don't take being gluten free seriously at all. It's a very small family get together...my husband, my daughters and I going over to my mother's house which is my mom, dad, sister and grandmother. We were only diagnosed by dietary response so we are stuck. And no one is allowed to help my mother...she doesn't like having people in the kitchen with her since it just makes things more difficult for her. Thank you though!

DonnaMM Explorer
DonnaMM
Posted

I am sorry that your family is not as supportive that definitely makes it harder. I know it is not what you want but it appears your husband is more understanding of your dietary needs so you could just have a romantic thanksgiving dinner with the two of you. For the experience with my husband he is not too fond of family get togetheris and would rather it be intimate. You could also make yourself your own little thanksgiving plate to bring but that may you're your mothers feelings a little bit.

DonnaMM Explorer
DonnaMM
Posted

And be sure to bring a gluten free dessert to share with everyone!

alex11602 Collaborator
alex11602
Posted
  • Author

I am sorry that your family is not as supportive that definitely makes it harder. I know it is not what you want but it appears your husband is more understanding of your dietary needs so you could just have a romantic thanksgiving dinner with the two of you. For the experience with my husband he is not too fond of family get togetheris and would rather it be intimate. You could also make yourself your own little thanksgiving plate to bring but that may you're your mothers feelings a little bit.

My husband is extremely understanding and I am so grateful for that. He went gluten free with me and our daughters and found that he felt better too so he definitely understands. I guess there are alot of things to think about in the next few weeks.

NateJ Contributor
NateJ
Posted

yeah, I'm not looking forward to this either. I'm thinking of taking my kids to NYC just for a few days to see the parade and avoid gluten. I'm not sure how else to deal with it. I'm not going to sit and watch my family cram themselves full of poison while I eat fruit. no thanks.

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wjp Newbie
wjp
Posted

Last Thanksgiving was my first gluten free Thanksgiving. I did have everyone at my house and yes it was totally gluten free. Maybe you can cook a mini-thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday evening and take some leftovers for you the next day. There are some wonderful gluten free stuffing recipes out there. It doesn't have to be huge meal but maybe some of your favorite foods. Mom will have to get over it if she gets offended by you not eating her food. Make sure you make a good dessert - maybe even one to take on Thursday with you. I have a great recipe for banana bread and banana pudding. The banana pudding one would be large enough for everyone. I know last Thanksgiving I was nervous about everyone eating gluten free but it turned out great. Good luck!!!!

melikamaui Explorer
melikamaui
Posted

I agree with Wjp. Why not make your own super yummy gluten-free dinner and bring it? There are some fantastic recipes online. I made my first ever gluten-free thanksgiving last year and it was a huge success! My family agreed that some of the dishes were actually better than their gluten filled counterparts! Make everyone jealous with your mouth watering gluten-free meal. :D

pricklypear1971 Community Regular
pricklypear1971
Posted

To the OP....

Perhaps what your Mom needs is to see you not eat her food. Perhaps that will knock some sense into her? I doubt letting you help her cook would be the end of her world. She'll learn. And if she doesn't-oh we'll. Move on and find other things to talk about.

I'd go - Thanksgiving is about more than the meal...,but I'd take my own food! Get a turkey breast and cook it the night before - make your own quick versions of whatever you like and pack it and take it and eat it. Yum yum.

rainer83 Newbie
rainer83
Posted

I'm sorry you have to go through that :(

I know exactly what you're going through. I've been gluten free for 2 years and I haven't had a Thanksgiving dinner with my family since. My sister and I don't get along at all, we don't speak and it goes beyond rivalry to a down right hatred. She uses the celiac to her advantage during the holidays. She opts to make the dinners for Easter and Thanksgiving, and makes nothing I can eat. I volunteer to make something and she gets angry and says it will taste gross and no one will eat it. I've spent my last 2 Thanksgivings and Easters alone because of her and her attitude towards me. It's not easy at all.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

We have everyone over here. Pain in the behind for me but I know what all the food is. Even bigger pain this year because my mom has to be super low sodium. My dad suggested I not make the really yummy scalloped potatoes because they are so high in sodium. She wouldn't care if she can't eat the green beans but she really likes the potatoes. I can relate to having to watch people eat yummy stuff I can't.

SilverSlipper Contributor
SilverSlipper
Posted

Some of our family members get it and some do not. Ironically, my dad and step-mom are the worst and she is diagnosed with celiac disease (she has DH, but no stomach problems). We decided last year to avoid family holidays during meals. We go visit at other times.

This year I'm preparing Thanksgiving dinner and inviting everyone over here. It will be quite a bit of work, but I can't wait to see my daughter's face when the meal is ready!

Takala Enthusiast
Takala
Posted

Agree, if you must travel to visit the glutenoids, cook your own dinner before and sit down in a leisurely fashion and enjoy it on Tues or Wednesday. Then take leftovers on a plate for you to eat off of during the "event."

All of the things you listed as liking to eat, can easily be made gluten free. In fact, "stuffing" is the only real use for certain types of commercial rice/tapioca gluten-free breads, besides doorstops and wheel chocks. :P I don't even use bread in stuffing, I use pecans and mushrooms. Some traditions use cornbread or wild rice. If you don't like to make pie shells, you can buy frozen pre made gluten free ones, or get a boxed mix which just needs egg, "butter," and water added. Cranberry sauce is ridiculously easy to make in advance, and then keeps in the refrigerator a long time. If you need help substituting, go to the baking/cooking forum and ask. If you aren't doing dairy or eggs, there ARE other ingredients which work.

Most people, when presented with a loaf of gluten-free banana- almond meal bread on the counter pre sliced, with the piece you need already taken off for safekeeping, will eat it without a qualm. They'll eat anything, really, as long as it's halfway decent. Either butter, cheese, honey, or garlic and olive oil fixes most things. ;)

If Mother doesn't like it, too bad. She is just going to have to get over herself. This is about being social, not about getting sick because you're pretending you aren't what you are.

Roda Rising Star
Roda
Posted

Awhile ago hubby recieved an invitation to a pig roast. He debated even telling me about the invitation, because he knows that our two boys and I can not eat the food. I told him to accept the invitation because I want to socialize with people and that we rarely do anything. My husband the butcher, is bringing me home a pork butt and I am going to smoke it and make pulled pork. I am going to take that and some sides for the boys and I to eat while hubby eats the food at the pig roast. Most people won't notice since the pork will be similar. However, this is a lot different than the intimate dinner with family. I think you should go and have a nice holiday visit with grandma and your parents. Cook a small turkey breast or small whole chicken the day before with all the trimmings that you normally would have at your parents (gluten free of course) and take it and enjoy yourself. Your family might take it more seriously if you don't eat their food. This could end up positive if they take note and ask questions on how to handle your food in the future.

We usually stay home for the holidays because of my husbands and my jobs. My family is 560 miles away and my husbands is 250 miles. We can't make a day trip. It's usually just the four of us so no issues there.

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

Bring your own food, a cornish game hen stuffed along with a couple of sides or leftovers from a 'just your family' Thanksgiving meal the day before will make sure you have something safe to eat.

The point of Thanksgiving is to be thankful and having been diagnosed and recovering your health is one real big thing to be thankful for this year. I hope you are able to enjoy the holiday safely.

rana Rookie
rana
Posted

Last year I got roped into an out of town Thanksgiving with my family, while normally this would be exciting I couldn't help but dread it a little, it seemed like there was no way I could get away gluten free or enjoy myself since I'd be worried the whole time. A day or two before we left I had my own personal Thanksgiving, made everything I wanted gluten free in my safe kitchen, and sat down and ate it. I then packed a cooler with leftovers and put together a really nice plate so when I got to my cousin's house I simply had to reheat it and sit down and eat. This worked out great. No one even noticed I had a different plate than them, I already had Thanksgiving out of my system so the pressure was off to try and enjoy myself. A little more work, but well worth it.

Its a shame your immediate family isn't more understanding, I'm appalled at some of these replies and what people have to deal with. I am so sensitive to gluten that I wouldn't eat at a relatives house even if they were kind enough to make the meal gluten free, so it sort of lets them off the hook in the first place...

catsmeow Contributor
catsmeow
Posted

I'm not going to sit and watch my family cram themselves full of poison while I eat fruit. no thanks.

It grosses me out too, the way people cram the gluten (rat poison) into their pie holes like gluttens without a care in the world...yuck <_<

catsmeow Contributor
catsmeow
Posted

Do you have a local Celiac group near you? We have the Gluten Intolerance Group of Central and South Texas. We are having a gluten-free Thanksgiving potluck on the Saturday before Thanksgiving here in San Antonio. If anyone is near here, please join us. This yearly potluck is how I cope with Thanksgiving. Since I can eat everything there, it gets the whole deprived feeling thing out of my system. I think it's really healthy to meet with other gluten free people and celebrate together. In fact, it's therapeutic. We get to feel normal for a day. :)

jswog Contributor
jswog
Posted

Do you have a local Celiac group near you? We have the Gluten Intolerance Group of Central and South Texas. We are having a gluten-free Thanksgiving potluck on the Saturday before Thanksgiving here in San Antonio. If anyone is near here, please join us. This yearly potluck is how I cope with Thanksgiving. Since I can eat everything there, it gets the whole deprived feeling thing out of my system. I think it's really healthy to meet with other gluten free people and celebrate together. In fact, it's therapeutic. We get to feel normal for a day. :)

I'm in San Angelo, about 3-4 hours away. Can you please tell me more about this?

Celtic Queen Explorer
Celtic Queen
Posted

This is my first gluten-free Thanksgiving but I'm pretty lucky. Our family always gets together on Friday for the holiday, instead of Thursday, so various family members can visit their in-laws on Thanksgiving Day. I usually end up cooking a dinner for my husband and son on Thursday anyway. This year it will be a gluten-free feast, so I'll just bring my gluten-free leftovers with me on Friday.

I guess I'm pretty lucky because my family and friends have been really supportive about the gluten free thing. My husband has been the least supportive (long story) but he's coming around. Plus I'm the one who does all the grocery shopping and cooking, so he has no choice but to eat gluten-free :lol:

Bobbie Jo Rookie
Bobbie Jo
Posted

I'm sorry you have to go through that :(

I know exactly what you're going through. I've been gluten free for 2 years and I haven't had a Thanksgiving dinner with my family since. My sister and I don't get along at all, we don't speak and it goes beyond rivalry to a down right hatred. She uses the celiac to her advantage during the holidays. She opts to make the dinners for Easter and Thanksgiving, and makes nothing I can eat. I volunteer to make something and she gets angry and says it will taste gross and no one will eat it. I've spent my last 2 Thanksgivings and Easters alone because of her and her attitude towards me. It's not easy at all.

What is it with sisters? I had the same issue and I have decided not to be in the same room with her again. It means we will not see that part of the family on Thanksgiving, and my mom is so upset. But you know, that's okay. Peace is a good thing. We are actually going hiking instead on Thanksgiving and then over to some other relatives on the day after Thanksgiving for a gluten-free meal, since they are gluten-free too. You should read the book "Boundaries", and the section on famlies. Life is too short to put up with someone who hates you - even on Thanksgiving! (I know lots of people will not agree - but if you have someone attacking you in front of other relatives, then - it's best to avoid the whole situation). My mom and I are just getting together on days apart from holidays when my sister is there. Life is much more peaceful!!!

You are important rainer83!

catsmeow Contributor
catsmeow
Posted

I'm in San Angelo, about 3-4 hours away. Can you please tell me more about this?

The first time you come (Thanksgiving) you will be a guest. After that, you can join the group for $20 a year and receive news letters. We meet once a month and usually have a potluck, But Easter ans Thanksgiving are our big food fests.

Open Original Shared Link

I'll PM you the Facebook page. I'm not sure what links we can post here without the virtual hand slap.

bauerpratt Newbie
bauerpratt
Posted

Nice to see I am not alone here!!! I was just diog. Celiac a few weeks ago and I am freaking out. We go to the in laws and it is full of gluten.

I dont want to be rude and ofcourse I want to eat, guess I could offer to make a fruit veggies tray.

jswog Contributor
jswog
Posted

The first time you come (Thanksgiving) you will be a guest. After that, you can join the group for $20 a year and receive news letters. We meet once a month and usually have a potluck, But Easter ans Thanksgiving are our big food fests.

Open Original Shared Link

I'll PM you the Facebook page. I'm not sure what links we can post here without the virtual hand slap.

Sounds great! IDK if we'd be able to make it or not, but I'd love to find a support group. I feel very alone out here in BFE stumbling in the dark!

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