Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Celiac Roommate

john2712s

Recommended Posts

john2712s Newbie
john2712s
Posted

Hi everyone,

I realize this is the opposite of what you're used to, but here goes: I am not a celiac, but my roommate is. I knew this before we decided to live together, and agreed not to use flour in the kitchen, which I don't, we have separate dishes for if I cook pasta or fry something glutinous, we even have separate sponges for washing glutinous dishes. Now here is my beef: my roommate is currently dating a non-celiac, and spending most days in his partner's apartment, (cooking), but... the partner isn't gluten free! they share dishes, and he's even baked BREAD in the kitchen. I've even seen them share dips that were gluten contaminated. Furthermore, this roommate often eats out, and I feel like all my hard work is going to waste, and I'm fed up of trying to hard to keep things gluten free. How/can I bring this up with my roommate? How would you, as a celiac, react to a non celiac friend pointing out all the ways you are not being careful? I figure its hard enough, but I'd like to know if as a celiac you think this is normal, or if said roommate might not be as sensitive as he thinks?

Any input would be appreciated

Thanks!

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


Di2011 Enthusiast
Di2011
Posted

Hi everyone,

I realize this is the opposite of what you're used to, but here goes: I am not a celiac, but my roommate is. I knew this before we decided to live together, and agreed not to use flour in the kitchen, which I don't, we have separate dishes for if I cook pasta or fry something glutinous, we even have separate sponges for washing glutinous dishes. Now here is my beef: my roommate is currently dating a non-celiac, and spending most days in his partner's apartment, (cooking), but... the partner isn't gluten free! they share dishes, and he's even baked BREAD in the kitchen. I've even seen them share dips that were gluten contaminated. Furthermore, this roommate often eats out, and I feel like all my hard work is going to waste, and I'm fed up of trying to hard to keep things gluten free. How/can I bring this up with my roommate? How would you, as a celiac, react to a non celiac friend pointing out all the ways you are not being careful? I figure its hard enough, but I'd like to know if as a celiac you think this is normal, or if said roommate might not be as sensitive as he thinks?

Any input would be appreciated

Thanks!

How incredibly frustrating for you. And how incredibly irresponsible of your roommate. Did he really bake regular gluten full BREAD ?!?!?!?!? What a dufus ! (Do you use this word in Nth America?)

You need to be honest with him about what this is doing to your head and your patience. No one should have to watch on and play along to such double standards.

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

Wish all roommates were as great as you about being careful.

Is this girlfreind a pretty new one? If he really likes her he may feel if he 'sticks to the rules' around her it will be too much for her and he will lose her. Do you have a good relationship with the girlfreind? If you do you could talk to her about it or maybe help him to do so.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I think i'ld say something to my roommate ( who appears to be a close friend). I might point out that gas, bloating & calling the new " friend" by the wrong name ( brain fog) are not very romantic.. I would ask if the new love knows about the Celiac. If so, maybe offer to explain cc and safe kitchen procedures to him ( her). If not, the new love needs to know right away.

In the end, all we can do is encourage & nag. He's an adult.

Takala Enthusiast
Takala
Posted

Okay, I have a sort of devious idea.

Invite her over for a meal that you will prepare, for all 3 or 4 of you to have together, (you can invite another SO or friend, and even let them in on joke) to be gluten free. ;) And while serving this, you can make sort of a Big Deal Out of It, casually, like "and this is the risotto that was prepared to be GLUTEN FREE, so I used the Lundberg brand," or "I hope you like Tinkyada ? I made the sauce for it myself, from scratch," and "Oh, No, we don't use THAT BRAND of bread because it's not GLUTEN FREE, we use {whatever, like Udi's} and we want to keep our apartment safe for [name of ingrate roomate] so please use that cutting board for the gluten free bread when making the sandwich. Whoops, not that butter, it's cross contaminated, this one." "Oh, wait, not that spatula, this dedicated one." "Here, have these rice crackers with the cheese, not those. " "I made this bread myself from the Pamela's mix, in the microwave in a bowl, I hope you like it." "Chebe breadstick ? Aren't they great?" "Have another taco. I made sure this brand of tortilla was gluten free and manufactured in a facility that tested for cc, btw."

You get the idea.

I don't know if he'd be speaking to you the next week, but it would be worth it to see the look on his face. ^_^

domesticactivist Collaborator
domesticactivist
Posted

I love it, Takala!

pricklypear1971 Community Regular
pricklypear1971
Posted

I have a sneaking suspicion the gluten intolerant roommate couldn't care less, and trying to embarrass him/her won't do a bit of good. Subtleties are lost on those in heat....

If the gluten-free roomie is not being gluten-free, it will backfire soon. Just be patient...don't abandon gluten-free habits in the shared house yet...because s/he will be back in the diet soon or completely give it up (and you can totally stop worrying about it).

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


sariesue Explorer
sariesue
Posted

I agree with pricklypear that he'll pay sooner or later, also you pointing out how bad he is treating his celiac could really make things tense between the two of you. You really have no place to be correcting his mistakes on his diet unless he asks or starts b%$@#ing about how poorly he feels. But, if you bring it up on your own you could distroy your friendship and make the rest of the year living hell.

WW340 Rookie
WW340
Posted

I think I would just say something like "hey, I notice you are not on the gluten free diet right now, so can we relax the rules at home for now?"

Or, "now that you are taking a break from the diet, I am going to relax the rules at home. Just let me know when you want to go back to a safer kitchen."

Or something similar. The point being, let him know you are aware and not judging, but would like a break while he takes his break.

bartfull Rising Star
bartfull
Posted

I wonder if he's the type of person who, when he finally DOES get sick, will blame it on you. You are keeping your promise to have a safe kitchen, but if he gets sick, he probably won't blame his new sweetheart. And although we all know he should blame HIMSELF, it's human nature to find someone else to blame.

I would talk to him about it. Just lay your cards on the table, let him know that you are concerned, and then the ball is in his court.

john2712s Newbie
john2712s
Posted
  • Author

Thanks so much everyone! You guys are great, I used this forum a lot to understand celiac's, and it's been a great ressource!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Thanks so much everyone! You guys are great, I used this forum a lot to understand celiac's, and it's been a great ressource!

So.....don't leave us in suspense What did you do?

dilettantesteph Collaborator
dilettantesteph
Posted

I came back here because I was wondering the same thing. What happened? I also want to say that you seem like a great guy to be so caring about your roommate. It seems he is blinded by love.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. knitty kitty
      - knitty kitty replied to Jane02's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      9

      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

      @Jane02, I hear you about the kale and collard greens. I don't do dairy and must eat green leafies, too, to get sufficient calcium. I must be very careful because some calcium supplements are made from ground up crustacean shells. When I was deficient in Vitamin D, I took high doses of Vitamin D to correct the deficiency quickly. This is safe...
    2. Jane02
      - Jane02 replied to Jane02's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      9

      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

      Thank you so much @knitty kitty for this insightful information! I would have never considered fractionated coconut oil to be a potential source of GI upset. I will consider all the info you shared. Very interesting about the Thiamine deficiency. I've tracked daily averages of my intake in a nutrition software. The only nutrient I can't consistently...
    3. knitty kitty
      - knitty kitty replied to Jane02's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      9

      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

      Hello, @Jane02, I take Naturewise D 3. It contains olive oil. Some Vitamin D supplements, like D Drops, are made with fractionated coconut oil which can cause digestive upsets. Fractionated coconut oil is not the same as coconut oil used for cooking. Fractionated coconut oil has been treated for longer shelf life, so it won't go bad in the...
    4. Scott Adams
      0

      Penobscot Bay, Maine: Nurturing Gluten-Free Wellness Retreat with expert celiac dietitian, Melinda Dennis

      until
      Hello! Join me and treat yourself to a four-day, three-night restorative gluten-free retreat in a peaceful, private coastal retreat setting near Penobscot Bay in Maine. Dates: April 10-13, 2026 Enjoy engaging classes...
    5. Scott Adams
      - Scott Adams replied to Jane02's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      9

      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

      I do not know this, but since they are labelled gluten-free, and are not really a product that could easily be contaminated when making them (there would be not flour in the air of such a facility, for example), I don't really see contamination as something to be concerned about for this type of product.
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      133,327
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    dnamutant
    Newest Member
    dnamutant
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.6k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):

  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • knitty kitty
      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      @Jane02, I hear you about the kale and collard greens.  I don't do dairy and must eat green leafies, too, to get sufficient calcium.  I must be very careful because some calcium supplements are made from ground up crustacean shells.  When I was deficient in Vitamin D, I took high doses of Vitamin D to correct the deficiency quickly.  This is safe and nontoxic.  Vitamin D level should be above 70 nmol/L.  Lifeguards and indigenous Pacific Islanders typically have levels between 80-100 nmol/L.   Levels lower than this are based on amount needed to prevent disease like rickets and osteomalacia. We need more thiamine when we're physically ill, emotionally and mentally stressed, and if we exercise like an athlete or laborer.  We need more thiamine if we eat a diet high in simple carbohydrates.  For every 500 kcal of carbohydrates, we need 500-1000 mg more of thiamine to process the carbs into energy.  If there's insufficient thiamine the carbs get stored as fat.  Again, recommended levels set for thiamine are based on minimum amounts needed to prevent disease.  This is often not adequate for optimum health, nor sufficient for people with absorption problems such as Celiac disease.  Gluten free processed foods are not enriched with vitamins like their gluten containing counterparts.  Adding a B Complex and additional thiamine improves health for Celiacs.  Thiamine is safe and nontoxic even in high doses.  Thiamine helps the mitochondria in cells to function.  Thiamine interacts with each of the other B vitamins.  They are all water soluble and easily excreted if not needed. Interesting Reading: Clinical trial: B vitamins improve health in patients with coeliac disease living on a gluten-free diet https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19154566/ Safety and effectiveness of vitamin D mega-dose: A systematic review https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34857184/ High dose dietary vitamin D allocates surplus calories to muscle and growth instead of fat via modulation of myostatin and leptin signaling https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38766160/ Safety of High-Dose Vitamin D Supplementation: Secondary Analysis of a Randomized Controlled Trial https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31746327/ Vitamins and Celiac Disease: Beyond Vitamin D https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11857425/ Investigating the therapeutic potential of tryptophan and vitamin A in modulating immune responses in celiac disease: an experimental study https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40178602/ Investigating the Impact of Vitamin A and Amino Acids on Immune Responses in Celiac Disease Patients https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10814138/
    • Jane02
      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

      By Jane02 · Posted

      Thank you so much @knitty kitty for this insightful information! I would have never considered fractionated coconut oil to be a potential source of GI upset. I will consider all the info you shared. Very interesting about the Thiamine deficiency.  I've tracked daily averages of my intake in a nutrition software. The only nutrient I can't consistently meet from my diet is vitamin D. Calcium is a hit and miss as I rely on vegetables, dark leafy greens as a major source, for my calcium intake. I'm able to meet it when I either eat or juice a bundle of kale or collard greens daily haha. My thiamine intake is roughly 120% of my needs, although I do recognize that I may not be absorbing all of these nutrients consistently with intermittent unintentional exposures to gluten.  My vitamin A intake is roughly 900% (~6400 mcg/d) of my needs as I eat a lot of sweet potato, although since it's plant-derived vitamin A (beta-carotene) apparently it's not likely to cause toxicity.  Thanks again! 
    • knitty kitty
      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      Hello, @Jane02,  I take Naturewise D 3.  It contains olive oil.   Some Vitamin D supplements, like D Drops, are made with fractionated coconut oil which can cause digestive upsets.  Fractionated coconut oil is not the same as coconut oil used for cooking.  Fractionated coconut oil has been treated for longer shelf life, so it won't go bad in the jar, and thus may be irritating to the digestive system. I avoid supplements made with soy because many people with Celiac Disease also react to soy.  Mixed tocopherols, an ingredient in Thornes Vitamin D, may be sourced from soy oil.  Kirkland's has soy on its ingredient list. I avoid things that might contain or be exposed to crustaceans, like Metagenics says on its label.  I have a crustacean/shellfish/fish allergy.  I like Life Extension Bioactive Complete B Complex.  I take additional Thiamine B 1 in the form Benfotiamine which helps the intestines heal, Life Extension MegaBenfotiamine. Thiamine is needed to activate Vitamin D.   Low thiamine can make one feel like they are getting glutened after a meal containing lots of simple carbohydrates like white rice, or processed gluten free foods like cookies and pasta.   It's rare to have a single vitamin deficiency.  The water soluble B Complex vitamins should be supplemented together with additional Thiamine in the form Benfotiamine and Thiamine TTFD (tetrahydrofurfuryl disulfide) to correct subclinical deficiencies that don't show up on blood tests.  These are subclinical deficiencies within organs and tissues.  Blood is a transportation system.  The body will deplete tissues and organs in order to keep a supply of thiamine in the bloodstream going to the brain and heart.   If you're low in Vitamin D, you may well be low in other fat soluble vitamins like Vitamin A and Vitamin K. Have you seen a dietician?
    • Scott Adams
      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      I do not know this, but since they are labelled gluten-free, and are not really a product that could easily be contaminated when making them (there would be not flour in the air of such a facility, for example), I don't really see contamination as something to be concerned about for this type of product. 
    • trents
      Desperately need a vitamin D supplement. I've reacted to most brands I've tried.

      By trents · Posted

      Contact them.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.