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Always Bring Your Own Food!

bartfull

By bartfull
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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bartfull Rising Star
bartfull
Posted

I have been reading about Thanksgiving and noticed that quite a few of us were glutened. I see it all the time here, someone goes to a friend or relative's house and tries to eat gluten-free, but ends up getting glutened, even when the host/hostess really tries to make a gluten-free meal.

WE NEED TO BRING OUR OWN FOOD!

I don't care how embarrassed we feel. (We shouldn't, by the way.) I don't care how many rude comments we get. (They are just that - rude.) People with allergies need to avoid their allergens. People with diabetes need to avoid sugar. People with back problems need to avoid heavy lifting. People with bad hips or knees need to avoid stairs. People who get sun poisoning need to avoid the sun.

So why in the world should we feel strange for needing to avoid gluten? We have a serious disease, and we need to do everything we can to protect our health.

WE NEED TO BRING OUR OWN FOOD!

If it makes you feel conspicuous, you need to gather your strength and put your foot down. This is the way it is. Practice saying it - "This is the way it is. Subject closed." They may talk about you behind your back, but if they do, be assured, people who would do that are ALREADY talking about you behind your back over any number of different things. SO WHAT? Are we supposed to risk our health on the off chance that they will STOP talking behind our backs? Are THEY worth it?

The people who know and love us will understand. If they don't know and love us, we can live without them! In the case of uncaring relatives, hey, we ALL have relatives we wish we didn't, but we put up with them. So put your foot down, bring your own food, put up with the funny looks, but tell them, "This is the way it is - subject closed." They'll either get over it, or they will have the great pleasure of talking behind your back, but it shouldn't affect YOU. YOU are taking care of your health.

So remember:

WE NEED TO BRING OUR OWN FOOD! "This is the way it is. Subject closed."

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Amen!

GottaSki Mentor
GottaSki
Posted

Well said and absolutely correct!

My life simplified when my intolerances increased - it was no longer a choice to try to eat gluten-free in other's homes - once the option was gone it really was a big relief. I now know how to let my host/hostess know that I'll bring my own for all situations.

There is no reason removing gluten is not enough of a reason to BYO if it reduces stress in your life.

squirmingitch Veteran
squirmingitch
Posted

Well said bartful, well said! A big round of applause for that!

Razzle Dazzle Brazell Enthusiast
Razzle Dazzle Brazell
Posted

Yep I had a fabulous Thanksgiving and thought it would be awkward or appear rude bringing my own food but everyone acted understanding about it. It was great! You are 100% correct because it is our own bodies, we are the ones that are responsible for our actions. They dont have our bodies and dont know what we go through or have the medical knowledge to address it. I am pretty sure people in my family think I am strange but idc they love me and I wont hold their ignorance against them.

Honestly, I think it sometimes makes other people feel better about themselves for their own lack of responsibility to paint us as extremists. I think some of it is jealousy for the people around me, because I lost a lot of weight. When they are dieting it is like, "oh US dieters". I always say that I am not dieting, as long as I dont eat gluten or corn, I lose weight. I just love to rub it in and enforce the fact that i have food sensitivities im not trying to get skinny or just cut out something that makes me have a little tummy ache. Grr

zebra Newbie
zebra
Posted

Thank you for posting that.

Celiac Mindwarp Community Regular
Celiac Mindwarp
Posted

Yes. Thanks. Always it is :)

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L.J. Rookie
L.J.
Posted

Oh Bartful! You said a mouthful of truth in what you said! We *must* bring our own food to survive! Great Mantra for us all to remember! Thank you! :) :)

How are you? Last time I heard, you were having a hard time :ph34r: I hope you are feeling better??? (See emoticon with my fingers crossed hoping you are feeling better!) :D

1desperateladysaved Proficient
1desperateladysaved
Posted

Point needed. I learned that eating my own was "My preference" yesterday. I don't consider it a preference, but a necessity.

ButterflyChaser Enthusiast
ButterflyChaser
Posted

Great post! I find it hard because mine is not celiac disease, but I do react to several substances (and several doctors agree with that). So people don't really take that seriously.

I think some of it is jealousy for the people around me, because I lost a lot of weight. When they are dieting it is like, "oh US dieters". I always say that I am not dieting, as long as I dont eat gluten or corn, I lose weight. I just love to rub it in and enforce the fact that i have food sensitivities im not trying to get skinny or just cut out something that makes me have a little tummy ache. Grr

Amen!!!! I get that all the time. "Oh, you're one of THOSE non-starchy people..." Well, uh, thanks for reminding me how much I miss baking since my doctor decided I have to be grain-free at least for a while. Or would you rather me give you an in-depth description of what will happen in your toilet bowl if I eat outside my doctor's plans? I think the rude people are only those who feel that out taking care of ourselves somehow "judges" their *not* taking care of their eating habits.

But I am getting better, thanks to this board: when a random date asked me why I refused to share his chocolate, I laughingly explained that soy lechitin makes me so hyper that scream at people (sad, but true), and I'd rather avoid that on a first date... :P

myquest7846 Newbie
myquest7846
Posted

And truly don't you think it takes a weight off of the host or hostess of the dinner that they don't have to try to make something "special" just for us ?

julissa Explorer
julissa
Posted

I totally agree here. I recently started gluten-free last month and am noticing a huge improvement in my life. I aso just found this board, it is such a great resource. I will bring my own food when going places, and won't apologize for it. it's my health and if I don't take charge, I will suffer. there is no choice

flagbabyds Collaborator
flagbabyds
Posted

The 2 things I learned when I was diagnosed (at 20 months old), so really the 2 things my mom taught me when I was young are

1. never be too nice

2. always carry rice cakes

I'm 22 now, I still have a bag of ricecakes in every bag I have, along with a protein bar and such for the moments where I don't feel comfortable eating what is being served.

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

The only situation where the bring your own food doesn't work :(:angry: is where you have dinners with special couples (just them alone, not a whole tableful of people) and we used to do this often because hubs can't hear from one end of the table to the other :) . It's rather hard when they are inviting just you!! to dinner and wanting to show off their cooking, and you say WE'll bring our own :lol:

bartfull Rising Star
bartfull
Posted
  • Author

Mushroom, I would STILL bring my own! I would tell these people that I would really enjoy breaking bread with them, having great conversation over a meal, and spending some time with them. Then I would tell them how sorry I was that I couldn't enjoy their cooking which always smells so good, but they THEY are more important to me than food, and in order to really enjoy their company without worrying about my health, it would be best if I brought my own.

But that's just me.

Celiac Mindwarp Community Regular
Celiac Mindwarp
Posted

Yep, I'd bring my own or invite them to mine :)

Tried an alternative on Saturday, Mr Mindwarp cooked all my food in someone elses kitchen. Guess what?

Always take your own :o

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

What I was meaning is, we are both gluten intolerant, so there is no point in trying to cook for either of us, so it becomes more of a one-way street :D

Celiac Mindwarp Community Regular
Celiac Mindwarp
Posted

I'm learning to love being host :)

My cunning plan at Christmas is to get everyone to ours for my 1st gluten-free one.

I know what you mean though, would be nice to accept the odd invitation. Ho hum. Maybe time to contact my local support group for new gluten-free friends. Mr Mindwarp is our baker and pulled off gluten-free eclairs a few weeks back. That's gotta make us popular, right?

CaliSparrow Collaborator
CaliSparrow
Posted

I'm so looking forward to this experience, ha ha!

Almost a few weeks in since Thanksgiving (and only two weeks in prior to that). I had no idea the stigma but will be finding out shortly.

Thanks for the veteran post!

Cali

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