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Dating Seems Impossible :-/

Georgia-guy

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Georgia-guy Enthusiast
Georgia-guy
Posted

So I know the whole "if she can accept the celiac restrictions, then it's a good sign" stuff....and I acknowledge that. But my problem is getting there. There's this girl that goes to my church, and she's just got this amazing personality. I just met her a few weeks ago, and made a fool of myself courtesy of brain fog, and every week since then I keep telling myself "tonight I'm gonna ask her to go get some coffee or something". Well, every Sunday night I chicken out telling myself "haha, that's funny, she just spent several months in another country without a worry, and you're worried about getting glutened. It's not gonna work." So my question is, how do you get over the "celiac will be a deal breaker" fear AND how do you bring celiac up on that first date, cuz it will come up?

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SMRI Collaborator
SMRI
Posted

Just ask her out.  The worst that will happen is she says no.  Maybe she is celiac disease too? :D.  Go on the date, go out to eat, pick something gluten-free to eat and mention in passing that you are gluten-free then ask something about her and move on to a new topic of conversation.  Either the date goes well or it doesn't.  Church is a very good place to meet a future spouse :D

BlessedMommy Rising Star
BlessedMommy
Posted

^Yep, that exactly!

 

Good luck!  :)

LauraTX Rising Star
LauraTX
Posted

If she just spent months in another country, I assume she was doing some kind of work for the greater good?  Sounds like she is likely a good person who will be understanding.  Go ahead and ask her out!!!  No chickening out :P  

Georgia-guy Enthusiast
Georgia-guy
Posted
  • Author

SMRI, she's not celiac (or at least she eats gluten should I say). But I agree, church is a very good place to meet someone. :-)

Laura, she was on a long term mission trip. Can I wear a chicken costume when I ask her out? It will dramatize why I haven't done it yet. ;-P

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Just ask her for a date that doesn't involve gluten. Like go for a drink ( coffee, juice place, bar, etc) at a time that doesn't imply you must buy a meal. Even if she gets a cookie, its a first date, so kiss her on the cheek. during the first or second date, you can bring up Celiac.

Think of it this way - if you ask her out for coffee and she said " caffeine gives me migraines" would you say " OK. See ya "? Of course not. You would take her for frozen yogurt or a smoothie or a fancy juice or a glass of wine.

I think you are just afraid to ask her......

Georgia-guy Enthusiast
Georgia-guy
Posted
  • Author

My plan is Starbucks (I know she loves Starbucks and they have bottled water I can get and a rather good "marshmallow dream bar" IF it's still in the plastic wrap).

And yes, I am a chicken.

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

My plan is Starbucks (I know she loves Starbucks and they have bottled water I can get and a rather good "marshmallow dream bar" IF it's still in the plastic wrap).

And yes, I am a chicken.

And, from what you claim to cook on the dinner thread, I would think a picnic,that you make, might be a fun second date. And it will be gluten-free.

Georgia-guy Enthusiast
Georgia-guy
Posted
  • Author

I was thinking picnic down the line actually. And I know of a few places. One in particular has this amazing view, but I have to figure out the police patrol first (it's way up in the mountains, curvy roads and 30 minutes from cell phone reception, but the police have to patrol it cuz there was a murder there a couple years ago). I just don't think the cops showing up doing a "let me run your ID" routine on an early date would be good.

BlessedMommy Rising Star
BlessedMommy
Posted

Oh yeah, if you can cook for her, that would be really neat!

 

When I was dating my husband, I know that I would've been super impressed if he went and put together a nice meal or a picnic. :)

LauraTX Rising Star
LauraTX
Posted

And, from what you claim to cook on the dinner thread, I would think a picnic,that you make, might be a fun second date. And it will be gluten-free.

This!!!

 

I was thinking picnic down the line actually. And I know of a few places. One in particular has this amazing view, but I have to figure out the police patrol first (it's way up in the mountains, curvy roads and 30 minutes from cell phone reception, but the police have to patrol it cuz there was a murder there a couple years ago). I just don't think the cops showing up doing a "let me run your ID" routine on an early date would be good.

 

Yeahh... can you carry handguns in Georgia for protection?  Don't know if murder point would be a good date location :P LOL

elless Rookie
elless
Posted

I think any girl that won't date you simply because you can't eat gluten isn't someone you would want a relationship with. You won't know until you ask. Just be honest with her. You'll be surprised how far honesty will get you with the right girl.

BlessedMommy Rising Star
BlessedMommy
Posted

^I agree with the above. 

 

Look at it this way, I know a young lady who has a serious peanut allergy. I'm sure that no guy worth having would reject her just because she can't eat peanuts.

Pegleg84 Collaborator
Pegleg84
Posted

Ask her. Don't wait too long. Be up front about your inability to eat gluten, but don't make a big deal about it. If she's nice, she'll be fine with that and want to know more so she can make sure you stay safe. Coffee or a drink. Nothing fancy. Even just ask if she wants to go for a walk. Ask her about her trip. That's a good entry point and she can do the talking if you're shy.

 

In any case, DO IT! Good luck

CK1901 Explorer
CK1901
Posted

Ask her out to do something non-food related, like coffee and a museum trip? You don't have to breach the diet topic all at once. Don't sell yourself short. 

SMRI Collaborator
SMRI
Posted

Ok--you have until Sunday at 2:00 to ask her out--or answer to us :D......some people do better with deadlines :D.

Georgia-guy Enthusiast
Georgia-guy
Posted
  • Author

Laura, yes I can carry a handgun...and now I can bring it in the bank, a bar (no alcohol with it though), and church since I have my concealment license.

SMRI, a 2pm deadline doesn't work. Church starts at 6pm and ends about 7:30pm.

But I have decided after something that happened today, this Sunday I'm gonna do it one way or another. Now I just need some luck on my side that I won't get glutened again (when I was originally gonna do it, I had horrible brain fog and stumbled over my words like crazy).

beth01 Enthusiast
beth01
Posted

Put your big boy panties on and ask her out. If you fumble tell her the truth, you're nervous.  Some girls think that boys that get all tongue tied and fumbly are cute!  At least you aren't telling us you are trying to pick up some chick at a bar, the women sits through an hour and a half long what I am assuming is a Catholic service, she is a saint ( not cutting down Catholics, those are just long services and too much kneeling on already sore knees).  Put a horseshoe in your pocket and a four leaf clover in your sock.  Luck to you!

Georgia-guy Enthusiast
Georgia-guy
Posted
  • Author

That's funny you say catholic, I was raised catholic. But it's a baptist church (and I'm not gonna start the religion convo either). But she sings with the band, so she has to put up her microphone and such afterwards (and the pastor tends to get a little long winded sometimes)

LauraTX Rising Star
LauraTX
Posted

That's funny you say catholic, I was raised catholic. But it's a baptist church (and I'm not gonna start the religion convo either). But she sings with the band, so she has to put up her microphone and such afterwards (and the pastor tends to get a little long winded sometimes)

Go offer to help her put up her stuff! :D

dilettantesteph Collaborator
dilettantesteph
Posted

A picnic in an isolated place where a murder occurred, with a guy carrying a handgun sounds like something I'd run away from.  Maybe a park with other people around would be more comfortable until you know her better.  Good luck.

Georgia-guy Enthusiast
Georgia-guy
Posted
  • Author

A picnic in an isolated place where a murder occurred, with a guy carrying a handgun sounds like something I'd run away from. Maybe a park with other people around would be more comfortable until you know her better. Good luck.

That location wasn't on the list for early on. And I don't always carry my gun with me. I've got another place in mind for an early on picnic....found a hidden waterfall today on the route I was on. :-)

LauraTX Rising Star
LauraTX
Posted

That location wasn't on the list for early on. And I don't always carry my gun with me. I've got another place in mind for an early on picnic....found a hidden waterfall today on the route I was on. :-)

That is romantic!!! I want my husband to take me to a hidden waterfall!!!!

dilettantesteph Collaborator
dilettantesteph
Posted

That location wasn't on the list for early on. And I don't always carry my gun with me. I've got another place in mind for an early on picnic....found a hidden waterfall today on the route I was on. :-)

 

I was kidding.  The waterfall sounds nice.  I shouldn't kid when you are already nervous.

redheartstard Newbie
redheartstard
Posted

I say don't worry about it. Ask her. And as for bringing it up just do what I've done and ask for a gluten-free menu and if she asks then tell her. People aren't weird about it as we think. When I told the guy I've been seeing he didn't mind and when we went on our first date he was actually curious to try some stuff. Not he worries about everything for me. It's kinda cute. Trust me it isn't the worst thing to have. Now just be cool and ask her already lol

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