An Apology To Radman

[Rusla]

Radman,

I know when you first came on the list you mentioned there was an undercurrent of hostility.

This is my take on perhaps why you felt this. I believe that when you said you were a “cancer doctor” as opposed to a “Radiation Oncologist,” some people may have thought you were a fake and a flake. We do get some of those from time to time. We have heard that Celiac is very “in” right now. Which in a perverse way makes me happy. I have never been part of the “in” crowd my whole life. I was the “geek girl.” Anyway, the other reason could have been the horrendous time a great many of us have had at the hands of doctors.

Many of us have been told, “it was all in our heads,” and numerous other things. I don’t think Celiac is the only thing many of us have been disappointed on. Since I was a child they have never really established if I have one, two, three, four or two mutated kidneys. They also cannot find my heart. I suppose some may agree on the last one. I would like to say the one of best doctors I ever had was an Oncologist.

Unfortunately, you may have started out to almost be the “whipping boy,” I saw your being here as a good thing. Not good that you have this disease but good that you found the list. I figure that you being a doctor with this disease could help other doctors recognize this disease sooner. Then again I could be wrong and have been known to be.

If I have never said anything before, I would like to apologize for your feeling uncomfortable here in the beginning. I do hope all of that has changed now. I really would not like anyone to feel uncomfortable here we are all here for the same reasons. I don’t want anyone to look down on anyone else in here because no one on here is better than anyone else.

I would like to tell you and everyone else, I appreciate all of my friends on here and I appreciate people who are straight up and to the point, like yourself.

[VydorScope]

Rusla,

Well siad. I hope my PM to him when he first arrived helped... Im glad he stayed.

[Lisa]

here, here

[jerseyangel]

Rusla--That was a lovely thought

[psawyer]

They also cannot find my heart.

They must have been blind. It is obvious to me that it is there.

[Canadian Karen]

Shhhhhh!!!!!! Do you suppose he knows how wacky we are by now?

Hugs!

Karen

[VydorScope]

Shhhhhh!!!!!! Do you suppose he knows how wacky we are by now?

Hugs!

Karen

Just dont let him in on the Altiods or he might get embarassed and run!

[Rusla]

They must have been blind. It is obvious to me that it is there.

Thanks Peter, you must have seen a different x-ray than they did.

Shhhhhh!!!!!! Do you suppose he knows how wacky we are by now?

Hugs!

Karen

I don't think he is on to us yet.

[radman]

Hey, thanks everybody!

I now feel officially welcome, and not (universally) hated anymore.

And I appreciate the opportunity to be part of a great group of people.

But I still reserve the right to tick you off occasionally, otherwise it would get kinda boring.

And please return the favor

[Rusla]

I am happy you now feel welcome and I am glad you stayed. I need someone to tick off every now and then.

[Lisa]

We are honored to have a doctor with celiac issues. We have learned from each other and perhaps we can continue to do so.

[Rikki Tikki]

Hi everyone:

I haven't been on in a while and first saw these posts and was somewhat surprised to see so much anger directed at another person coming to us for help.

Glad to see you worked it all out!

[Canadian Karen]

But I still reserve the right to tick you off occasionally, otherwise it would get kinda boring.

And please return the favor

Oh, don't you worry one bit about that, there are some on this board that "ticking off" is their specialty!!

Karen

[Rusla]

Hi everyone:

I haven't been on in a while and first saw these posts and was somewhat surprised to see so much anger directed at another person coming to us for help.

Glad to see you worked it all out!

I think perhaps a lot of us did not realize how angry we all were with doctors. Unfortunately the first doctor on the board got jumped. Now, we are just trying to get him drunk and get him to dance on the table so I can get some pictures.

[Ursa Major]

Radman, I am very glad you stayed, and you now feel comfortable here. It is a good place to come to, even though from time to time people annoy each other. But that is just the way it is everywhere, even amongst the best of friends.

But at least it is not boring, like some message boards, where people are so concerned about being nice and proper, that nobody posts, for fear of offending somebody! Who needs it. I have left some of those lovey-dovey boards, because nothing interesting was happening.

[angel-jd1]

I think perhaps a lot of us did not realize how angry we all were with doctors. Unfortunately the first doctor on the board got jumped. Now, we are just trying to get him drunk and get him to dance on the table so I can get some pictures.

There used to be a very nice doctor on the board. She would post recipes. However, people attacked her also and she left. So not the first dr, just the first doctor that has stayed .

-Jessica

[Canadian Karen]

There used to be a very nice doctor on the board. She would post recipes. However, people attacked her also and she left. So not the first dr, just the first doctor that has stayed .

-Jessica

Well, let's hope a lesson was learned from that!

Karen

[VydorScope]

I'll be honset, when I have posted in defense of ppl like Radman, and been yelled at for it up and down, (you know for saying things like sterotyping is bad) I have had to walk away from the computer myself. Everyone tends to loose sight of the fact there is real ppl and real feelings behind posts and I think ppl tend to forget that real ppl get hurt by posts.

I hope we can all learn that its just as bad to say 'All doctors are evil" as it is to say "All blacks are cattle and deserve to be treated like personal property." Go head, flame me all you want, I know how to walk away from a thread.

[Rusla]

There used to be a very nice doctor on the board. She would post recipes. However, people attacked her also and she left. So not the first dr, just the first doctor that has stayed .

-Jessica

That is too bad. I guess that was definitely before my time on the board. As Vincent said many times people tend to forget that everyone is a real person on a forum with real feelings. Just because they are doctors doesn't mean they don't have feelings. I guess society as a whole makes them seem like they are not real people.

I have had a few good doctors in my time and the first two doctors to clue into this years ago, like thirty years ago would have been the Alergist and Gynecologist I had then. The Alergist found the wheat etc. allergy and said there was more underlying problems with that but he could not do those tests. The Gynecologist also said the same things. Like I said at one point I had to see an Oncologist who was also great. My dentist was the one in the last year who said it was more than a tooth issue.

I will correct and say the worst doctor problems I have had have been with GP's, GI's, and Endocrinologists and almost all of those have been definitely in the last 20-25 years. It easy for us all to feel so beaten down and it is sad that the ones that are bad or don't seem to care ruin it for others in the medical field.

We all just have to remember that when a doctor is here it is because they either want to find out more or they have this disease (or both), just like us.

So now that we have let Radman know it is not him we are mad at, we are just generally angry over having had this drag about without knowing for such a long time. It isn't his fault it is the fault of those who would not help us originally. These are the things we have to keep in mind.

[Canadian Karen]

Yep, I sure know about having to walk away.......

Hugs.

Karen

[ravenwoodglass]

Hey, thanks everybody!

I now feel officially welcome, and not (universally) hated anymore.

And I appreciate the opportunity to be part of a great group of people.

But I still reserve the right to tick you off occasionally, otherwise it would get kinda boring.

And please return the favor

And we like to welcome great people in return. I also am happy you stuck around. There is so much for all of us to learn and for some of us this board provides a way to not feel so alone and isolated. To think we might have chased away someone who needs us as much as we need them is sad. I am glad you have chosen to stay with us for now.

[shayesmom]

Radman,

I know when you first came on the list you mentioned there was an undercurrent of hostility.

Many of us have been told, “it was all in our heads,” and numerous other things. I don’t think Celiac is the only thing many of us have been disappointed on. If I have never said anything before, I would like to apologize for your feeling uncomfortable here in the beginning. I do hope all of that has changed now. I really would not like anyone to feel uncomfortable here we are all here for the same reasons. I don’t want anyone to look down on anyone else in here because no one on here is better than anyone else.

I would like to tell you and everyone else, I appreciate all of my friends on here and I appreciate people who are straight up and to the point, like yourself.

I just caught on to Radman's posts and I also felt very badly for some of the hostility that was probably perceived as being directed at him. Truly, we all have accumulated a lot of "baggage" when it comes to this disease and how we were diagnosed (or not)....not to even touch on the struggles of reconstructing our lives and dealing with the extended health repercussions on top of it all. Then in comes Radman with more common sense than dozens of the docs that many of us went to....and he's not even a GI!! lol!! I was completely enthralled reading his post and all of the responses to it. It's been the very best discussion that I have been in yet and everyone seems to be joining in. What a tremendous pool of knowledge!

So just in case, I too would like to apologize if I somehow offended (specifically for my joking with you on being more believable to other docs due to your medical background). I was not trying to trivialize your issues or whine. It was just funny that you commented on "who cares about being believed or not". Probably because I was actually screamed at by the pedi GI for putting my FFT daughter on a gluten-free diet. The doc felt it was too restrictive and that my daughter would be worse off for it. But after nearly a year of hell...I got desperate and sought my own answers. All has been resolved since that day and the pedi GI and I now understand each other....and at this point I have also developed a "who cares" attitude as I am quite happy with how my daughter is doing. But man!!! Radman! You made ENTIRELY too much sense and I am STILL picking my jaw up off of the floor! I just wanted to tell you that I was thoroughly encouraged by your comments. Several family members have been hounding me about being gluten-free without a formal diagnosis and it's been wearing on me. I didn't realize how much until I started reading your posts.

So I guess that on top of an apology, I have to forward a thank you. Hearing a new perspective is not only refreshing, but can be very helpful indeed.

[Rikki Tikki]

I think it is just that many of us have gotten so frustrated with doctors and then along comes someone that is looking to us for support who happens to mention that he is a doctor and then many took out their anger/frustration on him. I am a social worker and have had many experiences where someone lost their kids or felt they were treated unfairly and found out what I do and blasted me without seeing that I am separate from their experiences. Does this make any sense? What about all of you, what do you do for a living?

[VegasCeliacBuckeye]

If it helps,

I really don't blame the doctors,

I blame the people who teach the doctors and the people who set up the curriculum as celiac disease used to be a one sentence blurb on a page. Hopefully, now that is changing in Med School.

However, the GI's that don't accept new medical data on celiac disease deserve some lashings.

Also, like I said last year -- If we really want to help awareness of celiac disease, get your doctor or a previous "incorrect diagnosis" doctor a copy of the book "Dangerous Grains" -- Just give it to him/her for X-mas or just for the heck of it.

Its probably the best $10-15 we could spend....

[mommida]

I was on my secret life mission to make the world blonde like me and I missed this whole thing! (Oops not a secret any more.)

Welcome, Radman, to the the board.

How about the next person who miss behaves gets a spanking and, "no Altoids, one year!"?

L.