Please Support Each Other, Not Start Wars

[Queen Serenity]

Hi, all.

I have just been reading through some of the different threads, and I can't believe some of the shouting matches that I have read. Why has everyone lost sight of the mission of this message board? We are supposed to help each other out, not cram our opinions down other people's throats. This then starts a shouting match back and forth, until the original topic is completely lost. I am guilty of stating that someone's opinion isn't valuable. But, I stood corrected. Everyone's opinion should be valuable, but not at the cost of the person seeking the help. We are all stuck with Celiac's. It's never going to go away. This is why we need each other. I have lived with this for 11 years. Some people have had it longer, and some less. I value everything that I have read on this message board. I am grateful for the support, and I like to help others. So, I hope that this thread is a valuable one. So, next time any of us post, we should just make sure that we don't lose track of the original question, and help out our fellow human's.

Vicki

11 years and still going!

[Ursa Major]

Shouting matches? Are you sure you're reading current threads and not ones from about a week ago, that aren't really happening any more? I thought we had resolved all those controversies, and that these past days we had been back on track with just supporting and helping each other. Am I missing something?

You know, from time to time people come in here that stir up a lot of trouble, it's bound to happen. But it doesn't last long, and things get back to normal soon. I believe we are back to normal. Let's not start another controversy by claiming we're not.

[Queen Serenity]

Hi,

I'm not trying to stir up, and I hope that this topic wouldn't stir up anything. Believe me, that's the last thing I want. It just concerned me that certain issues had become explosive, which lost the point of support and help.

Vicki

[Lisa]

Vickie:

Yes sometimes it does get a little testy here, but it always has a way to leveling itself out.

Don't let a few disswade you from the 99.9% good done here.

Lisa

[elye]

Hear, Hear, Lisa! There's so much good stuff that's going on here, and that has gone on for so long--it always overshadows (at least for me) the odd silly bickering that occurs on threads that take care of themselves and peter out...

[jerseyangel]

This is a community, and like in any group, there will be disagreements from time to time. People's feelings will get hurt, and words will be misunderstood.

It's been my experience here that in the vast majority of cases, these things work themselves out. This is one of the most caring, sensitive, funny, smart and loyal groups of people that I've ever had the privilage to be a part of.

Actually, this last bit of unpleasantness led to a nice discussion about what is good about the board, and suggestions about how it could improve further to meet the demands of the ever growing membership.

[miles2go]

This is one of the most caring, sensitive, funny, smart and loyal groups of people that I've ever had the privilage to be a part of.

Couldn't agree more. It's a harsh world out there!

[lindalee]

This group had helped me so much. If a topic gets crazy or off topic, I just move to a more focused topic that I can learn from.

[daffadilly]

Hi Vicky, well we have discussions to air our opinions and the things that we have experienced which may not match the experience of others. Discussion in words is good because it airs all types of views & educates one on what views are out there in the world.

That does not mean that we would not offer support to that person if they needed it, regardless of their opinions. We feel compelled to write our ideas because when one reads the thread if they only see that one view they may not know better and accept it as the only view. When various sides of an issue are presented the person reading the thread can form their own opinion which may not be any of those that are presented.

In any forum there are always ones that are out to fulfill a need they have, which is not to support the group. They can usually be spotted, & they are the same ones that are not going to be around long term to devote their time to helping others.

I think that you are a very caring compassionate person and I hope that you choose a profession that will help others. I would also like to encourage you and others to volunteer your time and talents to do what you can for others. No one is ever too young to make a difference in this world. Whether it is making brownies for a shut in or sending a letter or card to an older relative. (which is always appreciated!)

Thank you for posting, it is such a nice forum.

[Rikki Tikki]

This is a community, and like in any group, there will be disagreements from time to time. People's feelings will get hurt, and words will be misunderstood.

It's been my experience here that in the vast majority of cases, these things work themselves out. This is one of the most caring, sensitive, funny, smart and loyal groups of people that I've ever had the privilage to be a part of.

Actually, this last bit of unpleasantness led to a nice discussion about what is good about the board, and suggestions about how it could improve further to meet the demands of the ever growing membership.

Must agree with this, guess I missed the war We don't always agree but in the end we are always there for each other, just like any family

Vicki: Are you 11 years old or 11 years gluten free? Just re-read your post 11 years gluten free, good for you.

[Matilda]

...

[eKatherine]

I quite like a good row. At least as a by-stander.

I miss Jnkmnky! Now there was someone who could start a fight at the drop of a hat. All of a sudden everyone would kick off over an incendiary comment.

This board has never been all peace and love. Emotional support is something we all value here, but heated debate has it's place too, I think.

Best wishes,

Matilda

This is a place where we can all discuss our own experiences, yes, but all advice is not created equal. That's what we argue about.

[daffadilly]

there are other boards that only have one moderator and they delete anything that they do not like, so if that type of environment suits one better, they are available.

[bluejeangirl]

Hi, all.

I have just been reading through some of the different threads, and I can't believe some of the shouting matches that I have read. Why has everyone lost sight of the mission of this message board? We are supposed to help each other out, not cram our opinions down other people's throats. This then starts a shouting match back and forth, until the original topic is completely lost. I am guilty of stating that someone's opinion isn't valuable. But, I stood corrected. Everyone's opinion should be valuable, but not at the cost of the person seeking the help. We are all stuck with Celiac's. It's never going to go away. This is why we need each other. I have lived with this for 11 years. Some people have had it longer, and some less. I value everything that I have read on this message board. I am grateful for the support, and I like to help others. So, I hope that this thread is a valuable one. So, next time any of us post, we should just make sure that we don't lose track of the original question, and help out our fellow human's.

Vicki

11 years and still going!

Vicki, I haven't read any shouting matches. I'm so sorry that's what you've noticed lately. You know I'm a person who has opinions like everyone else and I certainly don't expect anyone to agree with me. Do you?

What do you do when you have an opinion and you see someone has a different one? Maybe you can help by telling us how to express ourselves better. I think everyone is valuable, opinions are just opinions they don't make me love or hate someone. I hold the person valuable so I don't want to offend them but that doesn't make me have to agree with them.

Just one more point and I hope your taking this in good stride but the only person who feels an opinion is being jammed down a throat as you put it is you the receiver. Do you see what I'm saying? You don't have to take it. Be polite and kindly disagree.

Well I hope you come over to a better view on these boards because I love it here I learn a lot and everyone is in the same boat....we get very sick with eating certain food.

Gail

[tracey*]

I've been here for less than a week, but I've read back on ALOT of threads here

I haven't seen any negativity, maybe I'm blind now But I think healthy discussion includes all points of view. Shouting matches, ok not so much, but I respect that people have different opinions. It's just how you express them.

Support each other! But also be open minded We're all in this together ....

[Queen Serenity]

Hi all!

I agree, that not every thread has negativity. But some of the threads do have people starting out with advice, and it ends up a back and forth match, because of someone else's disagreement. If you do come across a thread like this, then you will see that the original topic got lost. Some others do try to put the topic back to normal, but some people have a problem dropping the issue. As I said before, I have accepted every piece of advice on this message board, since it's beginning. It has helped me a lot! As far as my giving advice, I know that people may disagree with what I have to say. I can accept that. I would never really think of starting a back and forth match with someone else, because I didn't agree. This doesn't help the person asking for the advice. So, I just hoped that by starting this thread, it would just make people aware of the situation. We are all in this boat together! We only really have each other, because, sometimes our family and friends, just don't understand!

Vicki

gluten-free for 11 years and still going!

[daffadilly]

Queen Serenity, thank you for the only smile that I have had today (due to the recent tragic death of a young person in my family, but I digress from the thread content).

It just seemed that your name fit your post!!! Getting all your subjects in the proper form. Although not all of us presume to not so much give advice but to offer support, our opinions, and our experiences. We all know that each of us is different, though loyal subjects , and that we have to make the decision that we think is best for ourself and our body, & we all know how our bodies have a will of their own.

[KaitiUSA]

I have not been around too much anymore due to my schedule but I was very surprised of some of the threads I read when I came back. It seems like it gets too personal at times. I think this place is here for people to talk and share information and support each other and not criticize people for what they think if it is different. I am glad you posted about this problem.

[hannahsue01]

I have learned so much from this forum and wouldn't give it up now. It seems to be our families most valuble resource in finding out anything we need to know about celiac disease. Everyone has a right to there own opinion......even if some people are pushy or loose sight of topic it doesn't mean we have to read it or take it to heart.....just move on to a new topic and leave that one alone. Don't take anything to personal. With what allot of us have been through some things can be touchy.