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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted

Oh my gawd, during my 2nd pregnancy, every time I coughed, I'd pee a little bit.

One night, at the end of my pregnancy with Ezra, hubby and I were outside. It was like 70 degrees out, and we were just sitting outside talking. I was about 8 months, 3 weeks preggo. Well, I coughed and gagged on the cough.

Next thing I know, I'm vomiting everything I'd eaten in the last several hours, and with every heave, I wet my pants a LOT. So, here I am, puking and peeing simultaneously, in front of my husband! Oh jeez, I'm glad I can laugh about that now, because I wanted to sink into the ground with embarassment at the time.

(Not only did he pat me on the head while I was barfing, but when I was done, he cleaned it up. Whatta man. ;) )

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Just dropping in and these are the first things I read :lol::lol:

HILARIOUS! I almost wee'd myself :lol: I love saying WEE! Best word since HEINOUS, thanks Nikki!!!

:lol: WEEEEEEEEEEEE is brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG yes, the girls are SUPER MODELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to constantly find fragrances to sell, so they can pose!!!!!!! (they aren't allowed to pose with the clothing, duh)

Next thing I know, I'm vomiting everything I'd eaten in the last several hours, and with every heave, I wet my pants a LOT. So, here I am, puking and peeing simultaneously, in front of my husband! Oh jeez, I'm glad I can laugh about that now, because I wanted to sink into the ground with embarassment at the time.

SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXYYYYYYYYYYYYY LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXYYYYYYYYYYYYY LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Well you know, I try! :lol:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Mornin' Silleeeeeez...

Sigh........No bids yet. :angry: I think it's the model.....Not renewing his contract!

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
(Not only did he pat me on the head while I was barfing, but when I was done, he cleaned it up. Whatta man. ;) )

That makes him a keeper! B)

Emily! I think Gus is quite handsome and does a wonderful job modelling . . . he has that patented "I'm better than you" model look. Come to think of if, that's probably more appropriate for the runway models. Perhaps you can get Gus a job as runway model - Can he walk in heels?

(dog walking in high heels emoticon?)

:P (<---Dog Face)

^^^^ (<--- Four high-heeled shoes)

A conversation with my kids (seems like the best ones always happen in the car):

Son: Mom, is Michael's mom from England?

Me: Yes, she is!

Daughter (can't be left out of any conversation): Luke's from England and so are his mom and dad!!

Me: Yes, I know!

Daughter: He even speaks English!

Me: Yes, they speak English in England.

Son: Except they speak it fancier there.

:blink:

:lol:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
Me: Yes, they speak English in England.

Son: Except they speak it fancier there.

:blink:

:lol:

:lol: ...we certainately do!!!!

OMG...weeing yourself whilst throwing up!!!! :lol: ...how unfortunate :unsure:

GUS looks FABULOUS and I know he'd look superb in high heels ;)

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
GUS looks FABULOUS and I know he'd look superb in high heels ;)

All right....I'll see what I can do to get him selling a pair of my stilettos. Hmmmm. standard poodles are often regarded as the wimps of the large breeds...dunno if I can talk him into this one, as it could perpetuate that stereotype... :lol:

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Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Tell him about these guys:

Open Original Shared Link

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
Tell him about these guys:

Open Original Shared Link

Now those poodles look like they could kick my dog's a$$.

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
Me: Yes, they speak English in England.

Son: Except they speak it fancier there.

That is so cute!

They sure do, and they have such fun words like Wee and Bollucks!

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
So, here I am, puking and peeing simultaneously, in front of my husband!

(Not only did he pat me on the head while I was barfing, but when I was done, he cleaned it up. Whatta man. ;) )

:lol::lol:

Whatta man, whatta man, whatta a mighty good man!

tom Contributor
tom
Posted

This may not SEEM like exciting news at first, but I've got an actual honest-to-God garden-variety Common Cold!!!!!! :):D:)

(Ibe gob a cobe)

Nose like a faucet yet still always stuffed; clouded (but not fogged) head; tickle in the throat etc!!

How exciting!! I haven't had a plain cold in maybe 12 yrs!! For sure more than 8.

It's like a sign that my immune system is more normal than it's been since the 90s!!!!

Woohooooo!!!!! :):):)

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

Tom,

Excellent news! . . . Congratulations on catching a crappy cold!! :D

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
Tom,

Excellent news! . . . Congratulations on catching a crappy cold!! :D

:lol: :lol:

We're all so easily pleased

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
They sure do, and they have such fun words like Wee and Bollucks!

If I may correct you Julie it's spelt 'Bollocks' (extremely confident Scott's 'foul language filter' won't pick that one up :lol: )

This may not SEEM like exciting news at first, but I've got an actual honest-to-God garden-variety Common Cold!!!!!! :):D:)

Congrats Ptaum !!

Hubby had his first after around 2 yrs gluten-free (boy did he turn it into 'man flu' instead of just a cold :rolleyes: )

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Mornin' Silleeeeeez...

Sigh........No bids yet. :angry: I think it's the model.....Not renewing his contract!

Hmmm....try the stilettos, I think you're onto something with that.....he certainly DOES have that "I"m better than you" look - maybe he's too fat? Maybe needs to lose, say, 30 or so pounds to become quite gaunt and REALLY catapult to the top? :lol:

Son: Mom, is Michael's mom from England?

Me: Yes, she is!

Daughter (can't be left out of any conversation): Luke's from England and so are his mom and dad!!

Me: Yes, I know!

Daughter: He even speaks English!

Me: Yes, they speak English in England.

Son: Except they speak it fancier there.

:blink:

:lol:

*snort*

:lol: :lol: :lol: laughed out loud over that one...........

OMG Poodle iditarod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: Bad Ass SNOW POODLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where ARE Bev and Richard??????????????????? :unsure:

OMG - have to start preparing my OWN thanksgiving dinner for Saturday's out-of-town party.....SOOOOOOOOO heinous - last year I made myself SIX things, including a MUSHY stuffing...this year - only herbed turkey breast (thank you, Julie! :) ), asparagus, salad, and a delicious cake w/ ganache frosting.......maybe fresh yams.................

so tedious to cook one's own entire meal just for oneself.....and THEN to have to do it twice - for the second actual Thanksgiving.......... :huh:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Congrats Ptaum !!

Hubby had his first after around 2 yrs gluten-free (boy did he turn it into 'man flu' instead of just a cold :rolleyes: )

that is MOST interesting about the colds......Tom and your hubby now get them (er, congrats to both? :huh: )....and I haven't HAD one in two years! Used to ALWAYS be sick......colds turning into horrible strep and sinus infections and bronchitis - now - nary a sniffle in TWO YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
This may not SEEM like exciting news at first, but I've got an actual honest-to-God garden-variety Common Cold!!!!!! :):D:)

(Ibe gob a cobe)

Nose like a faucet yet still always stuffed; clouded (but not fogged) head; tickle in the throat etc!!

How exciting!! I haven't had a plain cold in maybe 12 yrs!! For sure more than 8.

It's like a sign that my immune system is more normal than it's been since the 90s!!!!

Woohooooo!!!!! :):):)

:lol: Me, too! I've been sick for a week--I NEVER got colds before. Just mysterious stomach flu's..... <_<

Yes, we are so easily pleased--at least we all understand each other :rolleyes:

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
If I may correct you Julie it's spelt 'Bollocks' (extremely confident Scott's 'foul language filter' won't pick that one up :lol: )

Yes, by all means correct me, I didn't know how it was spelled :ph34r: I just have heard it in some of my favorite movies (Bridget Jones's Diary and Love Actually)

What other fun words can you teach us Nikki? :lol:

Me, too! I've been sick for a week--I NEVER got colds before. Just mysterious stomach flu's.....

Oh Patti, I am so sorry you have been sick all week. Do you think it is from the stress of the move?

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Oh Patti, I am so sorry you have been sick all week. Do you think it is from the stress of the move?

Thanks Julie :)

Yep--I'm positive it was the stress of everything that brought it on. No one around me was sick at all before or since. Other than a lingering, nagging cough--I'm much better.

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted

Patti and Tom, I'm sorry you're feeling icky :(

I am now 100 posts away from the 501 club, woo hoo!

BTW, I have HAD IT with Lay's chips! I had to go pick Luke up from school early today, he is sick AGAIN! He's gotten sick several times recently, and I just can't track down what it is! Those stupid chips are the only risky thing he is eating at all! I told him today that I think those chips are making him sick, that they are contaminated at the factory.

He's a smart cookie. He scowled and said, "Yeah, I bet there's flour dust that flies around the air in the factory and lands on my chips!" :D Sounds like us, doesn't he? I think he's going to do just fine with a lifelong gluten-free diet.

Of course, I hear that children become possessed when they hit the teen years.... I'm just not going to think about that!

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Patti and Tom, I'm sorry you're feeling icky :(

I am now 100 posts away from the 501 club, woo hoo!

BTW, I have HAD IT with Lay's chips! I had to go pick Luke up from school early today, he is sick AGAIN! He's gotten sick several times recently, and I just can't track down what it is! Those stupid chips are the only risky thing he is eating at all! I told him today that I think those chips are making him sick, that they are contaminated at the factory.

He's a smart cookie. He scowled and said, "Yeah, I bet there's flour dust that flies around the air in the factory and lands on my chips!" :D Sounds like us, doesn't he? I think he's going to do just fine with a lifelong gluten-free diet.

Of course, I hear that children become possessed when they hit the teen years.... I'm just not going to think about that!

Thanks Sarah, I'm feeling much better than a few days ago :)

Lay's chips get me, too. I now eat the Plain Stax--not as good tasting (in my opinion), but I tolerate them fine.

Yep--Luke sounds like he has a real handle on this thing! :D He's gonna do fine.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Gah..I took a photo of Gus in a pair of my red shoes that I KNOW would really sell, but he has the most disgusted look on his face....I simply cannot post it. He needs the gaunt, cocained look of the Parisian runway girls to sell anything, methinks. My BIL has run the Yukon Quest and the Ididerod a number of years, and had a team in the year the Power Poodles raced. They could have won--more than enough strength, stamina, brains--but they're water dogs, and their webbed feet get too packed with snow, and don't do well in the special booties. Their hair is not great for -50, either, for some reason. So, he can't pull my sled, he can't model a THING on ebay...And when he's wet he smells like a stinky wool sweater. :angry:

Sorry about your colds, Ptaum and Patti....Need a big standard poodle to wrap around yourselves?

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Poor Gus--he, the distinguished British gentleman....forced to wear multicolored head gear and brightly colored shoes. :o

I could use a nice warm poodle today--it's freezing!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
I am now 100 posts away from the 501 club, woo hoo!

:rolleyes: How exciting!!!!! Are you carefully planning what you'll say, writing and re-writing your prose or quip? It's HUGE, you know...... :lol:

So, he can't pull my sled, he can't model a THING on ebay...And when he's wet he smells like a stinky wool sweater. :angry:

I tell you, it's probably better not to let Gus get into the modeling, anyway. Annie really is becoming quite the diva, I overheard her saying to her agent that - just like Kate Moss - she will no longer even get out of BED for less than $10,000 a day, AND requires bowls of a certain size of greenies in her dressing room.......... <_<

Gus can just be rented out for poodle warmth - THAT's IT!!!!!!!!!! I really do think he looks fabulous in his hat........... :lol: :lol: :lol:

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