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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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jerseyangel Proficient
You're taking her on a multi-state/international tour to visit all her favoUrite sillies!!!

Or better still--organizing a Sillie (re)union?????

In Hawaii B)


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happygirl Collaborator
Apparently, I am the elder in Sillyville, at the ripe age of 53. Gawd, some of the sillies are young enough that I could be their father. Go figure. :o

At least Amanda and I.....who else?

By the way, Amanda, you definitely have to go see Billy Joel. Great, great show.

Judyin Philly Enthusiast

QUOTE (psawyer @ Feb 26 2008, 10:42 PM)

Apparently, I am the elder in Sillyville, at the ripe age of 53. Gawd, some of the sillies are young enough that I could be their father. Go figure.

GOOD GRIEF...........PAUL............I'M 66.

HECK I COULD SOME ONES GRANDMOTHER ON HERE.............. :blink::ph34r::o:(

OH MAN,,,,,,,,,,,,I FEEL SO OLD..............sniff......... :(

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
You're taking her on a multi-state/international tour to visit all her favoUrite sillies!!!

Yes bring her my way, I'll take you to see Chocolate World....:)

Or better still--organizing a Sillie (re)union?????

In Hawaii B)

Even Better Idea, Patti I'll sit by you on the plane? Where we flying out of?

At least Amanda and I.....who else?

By the way, Amanda, you definitely have to go see Billy Joel. Great, great show.

I hope to!!! Van Halen is coming too! It is so odd we were just talking about this yesterday :)

elye Community Regular
You're taking her on a multi-state/international tour to visit all her favoUrite sillies!!!

Oh, Yyyyyesss!! Susie comes visiting!! :):)

Or better still--organizing a Sillie (re)union?????

In Hawaii B)

Gaaaahhhhh! Oh, I'm so there!

So, was lying on Jack's bed saying goodnight, and while we were chatting about his day, and what's happening in Sillyville, he decided to put out a second offer: (So funny...how and why does he come up with all this?)...

THREE MILLION, tax free. In return, must wear total green all day, every day, and there is NO choice allowed in style of supplied clothing. Two certainties exist: clothing will always be weather-appropriate, and always the right size.

OMG....what a weird child..... :rolleyes::lol:

I must carefully mull this one over.....

psawyer Proficient
QUOTE (psawyer @ Feb 26 2008, 10:42 PM)

Apparently, I am the elder in Sillyville, at the ripe age of 53. Gawd, some of the sillies are young enough that I could be their father. Go figure. /QUOTE

GOOD GRIEF...........PAUL............I'M 66.

HECK I COULD SOME ONES GRANDMOTHER ON HERE.............. :blink::ph34r::o:(

OH MAN,,,,,,,,,,,,I FEEL SO OLD..............sniff......... :(

Judy, I forgot about you. You're not OLD, you are elder and wiser than many of us. :wub:

tom Contributor
So, was lying on Jack's bed saying goodnight, and while we were chatting about his day, and what's happening in Sillyville,

O

M

G

Ehhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reserve acct names Jack the Ripper & The Ripper tuh-DAYYYYYYYYY so they're not gone once he's old enough!!!!!

he decided to put out a second offer: (So funny...how and why does he come up with all this?)...

THREE MILLION, tax free. In return, must wear total green all day, every day, and there is NO choice allowed in style of supplied clothing. Two certainties exist: clothing will always be weather-appropriate, and always the right size.

I'm too concerned about veto power over the *BRIGHTEST* of greens.

Any leeway there, Ripper?


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blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Ok....so on the news just now they were talking about $4 gas! They also said foreclosure rates are soaring, what is causing all the foreclosers though?

tom Contributor
Ok....so on the news just now they were talking about $4 gas! They also said foreclosure rates are soaring, what is causing all the foreclosers though?

Besides the more catastrophic scenarios, people who bought at the peak & have thought they were building equity are finding they still OWE more than the house is currently worth.

Newspaper today said that, for the first time, there were more foreclosures than sales, in CA., in a single month.

:ph34r:

psawyer Proficient
OMG....what a weird child..... :rolleyes::lol:

I keep thinking of the character played by Sterling Hayden in the 1964 movie, Open Original Shared Link. He was a mad US Air Force General named Jack D. Ripper, who sent the bombers on a nuclear attack mission against the USSR. It is a marvelous black comedy directed by Stanley Kubrick with wonderful performances by Peter Sellers in multiple roles.

Please warn us if Jack shows any sign of interest in joining the military or becoming a pilot.

On a more serious note, we had a different driver for this morning's delivery and everything went well.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
im not even aware of what he sings. only that he is supposed to be good, and the seats we got are damn near right in front! i suppose you could say we have the uvula seats !

:blink: darling, what ARE uvula seats? Will it hurt?

[edit - OMG - I think I JUST got it - - we are sitting so close we can see Boo-blay's tonsils etc - gahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

So........I've procured our beverage for our flasks..... ha ha ha ha ha........BTW the B&B (my preferred nightcap - second only to the absinthe I"ll never have) at Save Mart was freaking NINETEEN dollars - it's TWELVE at Trader Joe's (about 300 yards away in same parking lot). So....that was out as I was all errand-ed out todya........I have a surprise for Kissey.........bah ha ha ha - - will only say at this point that it was the liquor of choice for backpacking/camping trips and it DOES put hair on one's chest......... ;)

(OMG - the play is "42nd Street" - - I am going to DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE - - but only Squats will know - - will keep all of this a secret from the two other couples.......v. funny, a little private joke between us and no doubt a marathon evening of pure torture for Dingy.......gaaaaaaaaawd....... :lol: )

<would love to freaking QUOTE everyone but not ALLOWED by this miserly forum> HARRUMPh!

Giah-net - - good news about your boy..........

Man, that must be wonderful. We've got one kind, La Messagere, and it's only available in Quebec. It's also, according to DH, no screaming hell. He now accompanies me in a nightly glass of dry white. He is slowly becoming a girly-man with this dietary change....lots more veggies through the day, very little bread, and HARDLY ANY PHARTING!! Five or six a day, mefinks. :)

Emily! This is OUTSTANDING news!!!!!!!!!! Girly-man. :lol: Get Thom to send you some absinthe.

OMG - today - driving around town, minding my own business.......thoughts drift to green, as they often do....... and I thought to meself - - now why did The Ripper come up with this green-garbed question, why green.......why the million dollars.........does he have a wee version of a Dingo Brain by chance? are these the things of which he thinks as he shampoos the carpets, or wipes up the butt-scoot residue? gahhhhhhhhhhhhh :lol:

****Mother of the Year*****

*snort* :lol:

oh dear gawd - Jess - your joke - :lol:

prior participation is a must ! and such sound advice should not go unheaded!

DARLING!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes: does this actually mean.....do you even know WTH Tom was talking about? Because what you have just indicated is that we ARE having absinthe before the damned really wonderful play......... <no false hopes.....no false hopes.......>

so that you all are kept up to speed and mostly to tease SWDKisser... i thought i'd talk about an up coming soupflies i have planned for a few months from now.

the only clues that missy dingo is aware of is that it is after may and before october... that annieDingo gets to come along... it does not involve her cabin nor my mtn.

lil miss dingo had mentioned that it something that she wanted to do in one of our thousand ongoing conversations. she is :ph34r: really quite exited about it and tried to get me drunk last night to loosen me tongue !

oh................MA.............GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is NOT fair!!!!!!!! not fair a'tall!!!!!!!!!! :lol: What in hell did I say I want to do.........it can't be Hawaii, because Dingo Annie doesn't fly.......is it Ojai? is it........the Aurora Borealis? no......never told him about that............oh, BTW, Kissey ALSO asked me how easily it is to embarass me (nearly impossible to embarass me)......ALSO said he would LIKE for other people to be there..........

IS IT A SILLY REUNION?????????????? I have spoken of this fondly, many times.........

mygawd, this is how to drive a Dingy mad............. :wacko:

...

Ooooooooohhhh......David....Do tell!.......

Yer secret's safe with us.......Honestly! ;);)

HOW in HELL can we get it out of him??????????????????????????? And WHY did he announce it last night???????????????????????

how do i know i can trust you !! :lol:

lets play it this way... you post your questions here. i will repsond with cold warm hot. there is an unlimited amount of questions until you either get bored, or you discover the truth of the secrete.

if you hit the nail smack dab on the head>>!>!>!>!!! i will respond in a private pm or email. because... of course... it's ultimately a surprise

Okay.......are we taking the Jeep, or the Jetta?

what clothing do I bring...........

is there a comfortable bed (it would behoove you to let this be affirmative :lol: )

Is there a tent involved?

IS THERE GLUTEN-FREE FOOD?????????????? and ABSINTHE??????????????

You're taking her to Hawaii?

that WAS in fact mentioned last night!!!!!!!!!! but - Annie is going, so this cannot be.....

You're taking her on a multi-state/international tour to visit all her favoUrite sillies!!!

please..........oh please................oh PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ KISSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:wub:

GOOD GRIEF...........PAUL............I'M 66.

HECK I COULD SOME ONES GRANDMOTHER ON HERE..............

OH MAN,,,,,,,,,,,,I FEEL SO OLD..............sniff.........

I am continually shocked and amazed that you are 66......you have the heart and soul and bright spirit of a young girl. We love you to death. :)

Oh, Yyyyyesss!! Susie comes visiting!! :):)

OMG - now Jack's upped the ante to THREE million? but the same horrid green all the time?

David, how do you feel about seeing me in solid green for the rest of our lives? It's worth three million, tax-free...............

I'll SURELY GO MAD FROM THIS SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<p.s. Kissey's at karate so I can talk about him now>

tom Contributor
So....that was out as I was all errand-ed out todya........I have a surprise for Kissey.........bah ha ha ha - - will only say at this point that it was the liquor of choice for backpacking/camping trips and it DOES put hair on one's chest......... ;)

Wish I thought I had a good guess .. ...Tequila's not so good for stealth nipping, what w/ the discarded lime rinds & inevitibly spilt salt .. . Schnapps, Bailey's & Amaretto seem follically-challenged .. . .. .

DARLING!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes: does this actually mean.....do you even know WTH Tom was talking about? Because what you have just indicated is that we ARE having absinthe before the damned really wonderful play......... <no false hopes.....no false hopes.......>

:lol:

Be sure to let it get cloudy before imbibing. The scent blossoms and flavor . ...ummmmm .. . ..complicates - in a good way.

oh................MA.............GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is NOT fair!!!!!!!! not fair a'tall!!!!!!!!!! :lol: What in hell did I say I want to do.........

Oh ROFL!!!!!!!! :D:lol:

But I must admit my estimate of 4 parts titillation to 1 part invasion-of-PRIH-vih-see was off by at least a factor of two. :lol: (HA!!! Snuck in math!!!)

Okay.......are we taking the Jeep, or the Jetta?

what clothing do I bring...........

Get a hold of yourself girldude!!!!!! It may not be until .. .what was it? October???

He does know how to roll out an amusing topic, no doubt about that!

Darn210 Enthusiast
what clothing do I bring...........

Not to worry, The Ripper shall provide all your weather appropriate, correctly fitting, GREEN clothing.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Morning Sillies!!!!

Emily where ARE you I can't see you lurking???? My morning seems incomplete now

Tis a nippy morning out there. I was shivering as I walked to work....not a fun idea let me tell you :) So now I am holding down the fort my coworkers went to Grand Rounds.

How is everyone else doing this morning? Are you all in Silly Moods?

elye Community Regular

Good Moooorrrrninng, Ma Sillies!

I'm always somewhat relieved when I check our thread in the morning and there hasn't been a mad flurry of posts the night before, as when this happens the very real possibility exists of me being late for work responding... :rolleyes:

I'm too concerned about veto power over the *BRIGHTEST* of greens.

Any leeway there, Ripper?

Nope. No wiggle room, here. Could be olive green for a day, emerald, neon....just gotta put it all on and wear it. All day. For three million...

I would do it.

On a more serious note, we had a different driver for this morning's delivery and everything went well.

I was thinking about the truck scenario with you, Peter. Thank goodness this driver was somewhat competent, or sober. <_<:lol:

(OMG - the play is "42nd Street" - - I am going to DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE - -

This could be much worse, Susie....it's a good story, and great music...simply close your eyes, ignore the people shouting scripted words and then bursting into song, and just listen to the wonderful arrangement. Or....bring your iPod, and quietly install the earphones as the curtains are rising, and listen to your own tracks. :lol:;)

- - now why did The Ripper come up with this green-garbed question, why green.......why the million dollars.........

I know, I know......What does it all MEAN........???

HOW in HELL can we get it out of him??????????????????????????? And WHY did he announce it last night???????????????????????

And What does THIS all mean...?

...Kissey announces this mysterious guessing exercise...Simultaneously, The Ripper announces a second big-money offer.....

...No such thing as coincidences.....

....Are they in cahoots? Kissey and the Ripper (Now there's our next garage band moniker)?....What are they planning???!

I am continually shocked and amazed that you are 66......you have the heart and soul and bright spirit of a young girl. We love you to death. :)

Judy, I must say that I was so surprised when you divulged that you are 66. You present like a young girl!! :):)

jerseyangel Proficient
HECK I COULD SOME ONES GRANDMOTHER ON HERE.............. :blink::ph34r::o:(

OH MAN,,,,,,,,,,,,I FEEL SO OLD..............sniff......... :(

That's enough of this grandmother talk, Missy! You're one of the coolest people I know B)

Even Better Idea, Patti I'll sit by you on the plane? Where we flying out of?

Allentown would be best for me--much less busy than Philadelphia. Probably too far for you?

So, was lying on Jack's bed saying goodnight, and while we were chatting about his day, and what's happening in Sillyville,

:D Wow--shows how much Sillyville has permeated our real lives.

Judy, I forgot about you. You're not OLD, you are elder and wiser than many of us. :wub:

See Judy--and PeOter knows everything ;)

Ok....so on the news just now they were talking about $4 gas! They also said foreclosure rates are soaring, what is causing all the foreclosers though?

Another reason is that lots of people got mortgages with no downpayments/100% financing--and most of these loans were ARM's. As the payments adjust upward, it's hard to keep up with the higher payment and if they try to sell, they find that they actually owe more than the house is worth presently.

jerseyangel Proficient
t can't be Hawaii, because Dingo Annie doesn't fly.......

Shoot--I forgot about Annie for a second.....did you manage to get it out of him last night? I'm sure you have your ways.... :lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
That's enough of this grandmother talk, Missy! You're one of the coolest people I know B)

Allentown would be best for me--much less busy than Philadelphia. Probably too far for you?

:D Wow--shows how much Sillyville has permeated our real lives.

Another reason is that lots of people got mortgages with no downpayments/100% financing--and most of these loans were ARM's. As the payments adjust upward, it's hard to keep up with the higher payment and if they try to sell, they find that they actually owe more than the house is worth presently.

Allentown is just as close....but I guess we will not be flying now...Road Trip!

Sillyville does come into my real life quite often, the other day I was at working sitting here, and it got me thinking wonder what the Sillies are doing at their houses

John and I are house hunting. The prices on quite a few houses have fallen since no one has been purchasing them.

jerseyangel Proficient
John and I are house hunting. The prices on quite a few houses have fallen since no one has been purchasing them.

I think it's a great time to buy--prices are down and there is a decent size inventory on existing homes.

Jestgar Rising Star
This could be much worse, Susie....it's a good story, and great music...simply close your eyes, ignore the people shouting scripted words and then bursting into song, and just listen to the wonderful arrangement. Or....bring your iPod, and quietly install the earphones as the curtains are rising, and listen to your own tracks. :lol:;)

:lol::lol:

Or some sports game.

When my mom turned sixty she informed me that she was now in her "S"s. I like the idea. Covers a lot of ground.

So I'm in my "F"s.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
If he says "in a way" my guess is a tour of St. George's Distillery in Alameda!!.

Now this is a fine idea. Will phile it away for future purposes.

BTW Ptaum - - Kissey and I are leaving for San JOse this Saturday before 9 a.m to pick up a rug and some other home accoutrements from my friend in Willow Glenn. That's fun, right? But not so much.......we have to INSTANTLY turn around to be at a wine tasting in Madera that runs from 12 to 4. :blink: So no absinthe, no Tom, we barely have 15 minutes to say hi to my "family" there..............but we'll be back. ;)

Reserve acct names Jack the Ripper & The Ripper tuh-DAYYYYYYYYY so they're not gone once he's old enough!!!!!

:lol: this actually IS a capitol (or is it capital?) idea. Mrs. Lye really should do this, do it for us, do it for Jack, DO IT FOR CANADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How is everyone else doing this morning? Are you all in Silly Moods?

Hi Amanda. :) Well-rested and totally silly. Also relieved to see that there aren't millions of posts...........too much to do today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This could be much worse, Susie....it's a good story, and great music...simply close your eyes, ignore the people shouting scripted words and then bursting into song, and just listen to the wonderful arrangement. Or....bring your iPod, and quietly install the earphones as the curtains are rising, and listen to your own tracks.

:lol: :lol: such a brilliant idea, why didn't I think of it? no one will notice, I am sure.

Kissey and The Ripper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: excellent new band of the Silly Yak Cult Thread...... First big hit: "It's Not Easy Being Green....."

Shoot--I forgot about Annie for a second.....did you manage to get it out of him last night? I'm sure you have your ways....

<_< No, that Stinker is staying mum about it. Alas, I didn't try too hard. It's kinda fun wondering about surprises............did I mention he says there are TWO? driving me mad.... :lol:

So I'm in my "F"s.

*snort* Yes, we can be in our "F"s for two decades!!!!!!! brilliant.

tom Contributor

Good Mooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrnin' TickleTowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn!!!!!

I keep thinking of the character played by Sterling Hayden in the 1964 movie, Open Original Shared Link. He was a mad US Air Force General named Jack D. Ripper,

Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhh .. ...been so long since I've seen that. I DO remember the Sellers' hilarity!

Please warn us if Jack shows any sign of interest in joining the military or becoming a pilot.

:lol:

.......is it Ojai? is it........the Aurora Borealis? no......never told him about that............

OJAI?????? :huh:

Didn't realize there was goodness there.

Aurora? <shakes head> Annie wouldn't like the magnetic polar upper atmosphere.

oh, BTW, Kissey ALSO asked me how easily it is to embarass me (nearly impossible to embarass me)......ALSO said he would LIKE for other people to be there..........

ACK!!!!!!!! Head for the HILLLLLLLSSS!!!!!!

It's a "Susie Sioux!! This is Your Life" production!!!!!!!!!!!

But hmmmmmmm .. .. the "other people there" MUST be a good clue .. . .

....did you manage to get it out of him last night? I'm sure you have your ways.... :lol:

Oh no way .. . ..he's not keeping a secret, per se, he's keeping a *SURPRISE* surprising!!!!

elye Community Regular
When my mom turned sixty she informed me that she was now in her "S"s. I like the idea. Covers a lot of ground.

So I'm in my "F"s.

This is a terrific categorization idea.

I'm officially into my "F"s.....

And I miss my "T"s..... :rolleyes::lol:

nikki-uk Enthusiast

Blasted emoticon bustedness!!!!!!!!

Afternoon sillies.....can I request that you DO NOT post excessively whilst I am sleeping - thankyou ;)

Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel, 'Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again!'

Nicola is larfin!! (very much but not allowed by the phorum to show HOW much)

how do i know i can trust you !!

lets play it this way... you post your questions here. i will repsond with cold warm hot. there is an unlimited amount of questions until you either get bored, or you discover the truth of the secrete.

if you hit the nail smack dab on the head>>!>!>!>!!! i will respond in a private pm or email. because... of course... it's ultimately a surprise ;)

OK, let's think.........

Near the sea (beach)????

OR

The Mountains????

GOOD GRIEF...........PAUL............I'M 66.

HECK I COULD SOME ONES GRANDMOTHER ON HERE.............. :blink::ph34r::o:(

OH MAN,,,,,,,,,,,,I FEEL SO OLD..............sniff......... :(

Judy!! You are NOT old enough to be MY Grandmother,....but you could take on the role of 'acting Grandmother' if you like :D .........I've alway's wanted a gran :D

Oh, Yyyyyesss!! Susie comes visiting!!

Oh pleeeeeze!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so bored of my exsisting 'real' friend (cheeky wink)

THREE MILLION, tax free. In return, must wear total green all day, every day, and there is NO choice allowed in style of supplied clothing. Two certainties exist: clothing will always be weather-appropriate, and always the right size.

After much mullin' .......

The term right size is troubling me :unsure: .......... I mean WHO determines the right size......*I* might be having a fat day and need to wear baggy emerald LEVI DUNGAREES (Thorm-us!!!!!!).......several days of starvation later and I will feel like a supermodel & want to sashay around in 'Buckingham' green capri pants (slightly bemused tilt of the head)

[edit - OMG - I think I JUST got it - - we are sitting so close we can see Boo-blay's tonsils etc - gahhhhhhhhhh!]

At least his nasal hair

So........I've procured our beverage for our flasks..... ha ha ha ha ha........BTW the B&B (my preferred nightcap - second only to the absinthe I"ll never have)

B+B ??

Bedtime beverage

Bawdy BehavioUr???

mygawd, this is how to drive a Dingy mad.............

HOW in HELL can we get it out of him??????????????????????????? And WHY did he announce it last night???????????????????????

Okay.......are we taking the Jeep, or the Jetta?

what clothing do I bring...........

is there a comfortable bed (it would behoove you to let this be affirmative :lol: )

Is there a tent involved?

IS THERE GLUTEN-FREE FOOD?????????????? and ABSINTHE??????????????

LOL, LOL, Wackl commence - Stand back and watch Susie go INTO MELT DOWN at the very thought of a trip ;)

Not to worry, The Ripper shall provide all your weather appropriate, correctly fitting, GREEN clothing.

...that's one less thing to worry about.....isn't it???? :unsure:

DingoGirl Enthusiast

OMG Sillies.

I have reconnected with an old friend - and she is an older friend also - just turned 65! The loveliest, chicest, most stylish woman - she taught me so much......she was my boss at the tasting room for half the time I was there, and became a very dear friend.

So, I had her over the other night, such fun, she lives in FrezNO and we had lost touch but she is back in my life. :) (her name is Jeremy)

Well, there is a secret goofball side to her that few know about. TRUE GOOF. The other night I was telling her about my sillies and the things we discussed - including phart shapes/sizes. She looks at me and says, don't you remember the names for farts I shared with you years ago? :huh:

So - here's her email in its entirety:

**********

TYPES OF FARTS

Fizz

Fazz

Fizzfazz

Poop

Anti-poop

Terret and.......

Rattler

Then, one thing noticed in the aging process:

Poppers and flappers, which come out of NOWHERE! No clue, no warning

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    • trents
    • Jillian83
      Hi, I was recently diagnosed with Celiac and dermatitis herpetiformis after years of suffering without answers. I lost my mind. I lost my job. I lost so much time. I lost Me. Conventional doctors are opulent come near me and the one who did sat across the room, misdiagnosed me, pumped me full of steroids which collapsed my entire hip for 6 months. So without answers I began my holistic journey. Fast forward a couple of years and still struggling with a mysterious whole body itchy, crawling “skin hell”, perfect teeth now deteriorating, thick hair now thinning rapidly and no more than a day or 2 at most relief….An acquaintance opened up a functional medicine practice. Cash only, I found a way. Within a month tests clearly showing my off the charts gluten allergy/sensitivity as well as the depletion of vital nutrients due to leaky gut and intestinal damage. dermatitis herpetiformis was more than likely what I was experiencing with my skin. I was happy. I thought this is easy, eat healthy Whole Foods, follow the diet restrictions and I finally get to heal and feel confident and like myself again very soon! 😔 Supplements are very pricey but I got them and began my healing. Which leads to the other major issue: not working, stay at home Mom of young kids, entirely financially dependent on my man of 7 plus years. He’s never been supportive of anything I’ve ever done or been thru. He controls everything. I’m not given much money ever at a time and when he does leave money it’s only enough to possibly get gas. His excuse is that I’ll spend it on other things. So my “allowance” is inconsistent and has conditions. He withholds money from me as punishment for anything he wants. Since being diagnosed, he’s gained a new control tactic to use as punishment. He now is in control of when I get to eat. He asked for proof of my diagnosis and diet bc he said I made it up just to be able to eat expensive organic foods. Then after I sent him my file from my doctor he then said she wasn’t a real doctor. 😡. I go days upon days starving, sometimes breaking down and eating things I shouldn’t bc I’m so sick then I pay horribly while he gets annoyed and angry bc I’m not keeping up with all the duties I’m supposed to be doing. His abuse turns full on when I’m down and it’s in these desperate times when I need his support and care the most that I’m punished with silence, being starved, ignored, belittled. He will create more of a mess just bc I’m unable to get up and clean so that when I am better, I’m so overwhelmed with chores to catch up that the stress causes me to go right back into a flare from hell and the cycle repeats. I’m punished for being sick. I’m belittled for starving and asking for healthy clean water. I’m purposely left out of his life. He won’t even tell me he’s going to the grocery or to get dinner bc he doesn’t want me to ask him for anything. I have no one. I have nothing. Im not better. My supplements ran out and I desperately need Vitamin D3 and a methylated B complex at the very minimal just to function….he stares at me blankly…no, a slight smirk, no words. He’s happiest when im miserable and I am miserable.  this is so long and im condensing as much as I can but this situation is so complicated and disgusting. And it’s currently my life. The “IT” girl, the healthy, beautiful, perfect skin, perfect teeth, thick and curly locks for days, creative and talented IT girl….now I won’t even leave this house bc Im ashamed of what this has dont to my body, my skin. Im disgusted. The stress is keeping me from healing and I think he knows that and that’s why he continues to keep me in that state. He doesn’t want me confident or successful. He doesn’t want me healed and healthy bc then how would he put the blame of all his problems on me? This journey has been hell and I’ve been in Hell before. I’ve been killed by an ex, I’ve been raped, robbed, held hostage, abused beyond nightmares but the cruelty I’ve experienced from him bc of this disease is the coldest I’ve ever experienced. I’ve wanted to give up. Starving and in tears, desperate…I found a local food pantry in our small town so I reached out just saying I had Celiac and was on hard times. This woman is blessing me daily with prepared gluten free meals, donations, educational info, people who know this disease and how they manage life and the blessings just keep coming. But it’s overwhelming and I feel like I don’t deserve it at all. He just glared and I know he’s going to sabotage it somehow. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m so broken and just want peace and healing. 
    • cristiana
      @Colleen H   I am just curious,  when you were tested for coeliac disease, did the doctors find out if you had any deficiencies? Sometimes muscle pain can be caused by certain deficiencies, for example, magnesium, vitamin D, calcium, and potassium.   Might be worth looking into having some more tests.  Pins and needles can be neuropathy, again caused by deficiencies, such as iron and B12,  which can be reversed if these deficiencies are addressed. In the UK where I live we are usually only tested for iron, B12 and vitamin D deficiencies at diagnosis.   I was very iron anemic and supplementation made a big difference.  B12 was low normal, but in other countries the UK's low normal would be considered a deficiency.  My vitamin D was low normal, and I've been supplementing ever since (when I remember to take it!) My pins and needles definitely started to improve when my known deficiencies were addressed.  My nutritionist also gave me a broad spectrum supplement which really helped, because I suspect I wasn't just deficient in what I mention above but in many other vitamins and minerals.  But a word of warning, don't take iron unless blood tests reveal you actually need it, and if you are taking it your levels must be regularly monitored because too much can make you ill.  (And if you are currently taking iron, that might actually be making your stomach sore - it did mine, so my GP changed my iron supplementation to a gentler form, ferrous gluconate). Lastly, have you been trying to take anything to lessen the pain in your gut?  I get a sore stomach periodically, usually when I've had too much rich food, or when I have had to take an aspirin or certain antibiotics, or after glutening.  When this happens, I take for just a few days a small daily dose of OTC omeprazole.  I also follow a reflux or gastritis diet. There are lots online but the common denominators to these diets is you need to cut out caffeine, alcohol, rich, spicy, acidic food etc and eat small regularly spaced meals.   When I get a sore stomach, I also find it helpful to drink lots of water.  I also find hot water with a few slices of ginger very soothing to sip, or camomile tea.  A wedge pillow at night is good for reflux. Also,  best not to eat a meal 2-3 hours before going to bed. If the stomach pain is getting worse, though, it would be wise to see the doctor again. I hope some of this helps. Cristiana    
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