The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[blueeyedmanda]

Thanks for the advice Janet...I might look into using that. I cannot be out of work without the full pay either...last time I checked gas and such was not getting any cheaper...

What is gas around my other Sillies....we are about 3.60 here!

[Darn210]

Janet - - such good news about yer speech

Yea . . . I done talked good in me speech.

[Ridgewalker]

OMG!!! Found a FANTABULOUS invention Open Original Shared Link

OMG! OMG! Brian is sooo getting one of these for Father's Day or something. He always goes to bed earlier than I do, and every night when I lay down in bed, about 30 seconds later he pharts. Every night! I told him about this one day and demanded an explanation.

He claims that he doesn't sleep as well when I'm not in the bed. So when I come to bed, he must relax and then... PPHHHHHTTT.

Last night, after the normal phart, came a second one about 2 minutes later. This simple break in routine had me in helpless, choking giggles for at least 5 minutes. I had to leave the room.

A little joke for the linguistically minded Sillies:

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."

A bored voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

:lol: :lol: I love it!

Thanks for the advice Janet...I might look into using that. I cannot be out of work without the full pay either...last time I checked gas and such was not getting any cheaper...

What is gas around my other Sillies....we are about 3.60 here!

About 3.63-3.65 here.

I've never been called for jury duty. I have no idea why.

[elye]

A bored voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Brilliant....shall tell this to the students - - see if they get it.

I say a good way to NOT get picked is to tell them you WANT to be on the jury because you can tell by looking at the defendant that they are guilty!!

Yes......Or, even better, stare intently at said lawyer after he delivers you a question and quietly say, "Well.....before I answer that I must know something about the defendant, and you, for that matter. Would you rather spend the rest of your life with suction cups on the bottom of your shoes, or metal cleats?"

Now, that oughtta do it.........

[blueeyedmanda]

lol!

[elye]

Last night, after the normal phart, came a second one about 2 minutes later. This simple break in routine had me in helpless, choking giggles for at least 5 minutes. I had to leave the room.

Mygawd.....I, as well, have certainly been choking in bed as a result of DH's pharting, but it has not been from laughter.....

[jerseyangel]

This simple break in routine had me in helpless, choking giggles for at least 5 minutes. I had to leave the room.

Yes......Or, even better, stare intently at said lawyer after he delivers you a question and quietly say, "Well.....before I answer that I must know something about the defendant, and you, for that matter. Would you rather spend the rest of your life with suction cups on the bottom of your shoes, or metal cleats?"

Now, that oughtta do it.........

Yep--that outta do it!

Wonder what they would say if you put the butt head vs. chin danglers question before them......

[Jestgar]

Jess, meant to ask you, are you eating fruit at all on this new eating plan of yours?

What about you Patti, will fruit be allowed for you?

Just curious as I go back and forth on fruit

I have decided to limit my fruit to 3 or 4 pieces a week. And I choose the lower glycemic (not super sweet ones).

I'll probably go even lower when my current supply runs out, but I've never been a huge fruit fan, so it's not that hard.

[elye]

Wonder what they would say if you put the butt head vs. chin danglers question before them......

I would never do that. I wouldn't want to sound silly.......

[Mtndog]

Happy Birthday Ezra!!!! And Alex- OMG- two weeks until the wedding....holy Toledo!!!! Our wedding song was Northern Sky by Nick Drake (still makes me tear up!). I love Into the Mystic!

Gawd Emily--this was ours....

It was the 70's...what can I tell ya..

OMGAWD- Kurt LOVES that song.......something about their perfect harmonies. I give him a HARD time every time (but it IS a great song!).

When i hear Love and Marriage all I can think of is Peg and Al Bundy :lol:

I'm on a diet Have to get this heinous 20 pounds off--STAT --and get the BP down to manageable levels

Ugh.... wait, UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i agree diets should not be called diets. Catherine works....or.....I'm on a (insert something heinous).

How exciting Alex's wedding is upon us!

That's a perfect father/daughter dance song I think. It seems lately (and for the last handful of years) everyone is choosing "Butterfly Kisses".

outube.com/watch?v=MpJYDg9XThc...feature=related

I know :wub:

Only with the proper incentive, my friends!

Ok you guys are going to hate me for this, but--

Yes, it totally matters what was eaten! Think about it... corn? I would find it much easier to down a smooth homogeneous poop, than one that was... chunky.

Ok, you can all throw up on me now.

BARF..................OMGawd- I can't even think about what was ingested/digested......gag reflex kicking in!!!!!!!!!

tom . . . Baaahhhhh . . . any day at the DMV is a crappy day. Do you reaaaalllllly need to drive?

DMV- BOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

OMG!!! Found a FANTABULOUS invention Open Original Shared Link

Finally something that we REALLY need- no more Dutch Ovens (imagine the smell of your bum after eating poop!!!!!!!! (Insert green emoticon here!)

[blueeyedmanda]

Gosh Sillies seems you all came out when I went to lunch....tis me, do I smell? Is that why Everyone hides when I am around

[Darn210]

We're at $3.75 and I'm debating on filling up or waiting. Seems like if I wait, it goes up further. If I fill up, it drops back down!!!! Bahhhh!!!

[jerseyangel]

I would never do that. I wouldn't want to sound silly.......

Gawd forbid

When i hear Love and Marriage all I can think of is Peg and Al Bundy :lol:

I know, me too!

[Darn210]

Gosh Sillies seems you all came out when I went to lunch....tis me, do I smell? Is that why Everyone hides when I am around

OH Amanda, you must get yerself a dress made out of one of them smell-be-gone covers!!! Bummer we're heading into summer . . . might get a tad warm.

[elye]

We're at $3.75 and I'm debating on filling up or waiting. Seems like if I wait, it goes up further. If I fill up, it drops back down!!!! Bahhhh!!!

In Ottawa we're at $1.20 a litre, which is $4.45 a gallon.

You think we Canucks have it bad - - ask Nikki what they're paying!

[nikki-uk]

In Ottawa we're at $1.20 a litre, which is $4.45 a gallon.

You think we Canucks have it bad - - ask Nikki what they're paying!

Almost

[Ridgewalker]

Almost

[jerseyangel]

Almost

[blueeyedmanda]

Ohh here is my funny for the day!

I run to the bathroom to pee, run back and Susan and I ran over to the hospital pharmacy....a good 10 minute walk through the general hospital with the patients around us. We get back and then I grab my medical monitor and take her up to the 6th floor. We get to the elevator and she says oh my goodness Amanda....and points to my skirt.

Its at this point I will tell you guys that I am wearing a knee length plaid skirt....pleated....very cute! Well in the bathroom the whole back had gotten stuck up in my tights! Now I did have my lab coat on but obviously from the back you could tell......Only Me!

[nikki-uk]

If gas went up to 10 dollars a gallon tomorrow, I'd have to pull my kids out of school. That's the literal truth.

Yep, tell me about it.

We tend to have much smaller cars/engines here (to counteract the cha-ching factor!) plus we are a small island so generally don't have to travel too far to get anywhere e.g my son's school is 3 miles away.

GAHHHH!!!!!!!! AMANDA!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT the tights-tucked-in-the-skirt scenario!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jerseyangel]

Gawd Amanda--as I read, I knew right where you were going with that one. Glad you had you lab coat on

[Jestgar]

Its at this point I will tell you guys that I am wearing a knee length plaid skirt....pleated....very cute! Well in the bathroom the whole back had gotten stuck up in my tights!

:lol:

I hate when that happens!

[blueeyedmanda]

Almost

[elye]

We tend to have much smaller cars/engines here (to counteract the cha-ching factor!) plus we are a small island so generally don't have to travel too far to get anywhere e.g my son's school is 3 miles away.

Yes, most countries in Europe don't have nearly the distances to drive that we tend to here in North America. But still.....you guys are paying over twice what we are here, and two and a half times what the Americans are. Craziness.

...And that is why we saw virtually NO SUVs in England or France....

A good thing, really.

HEINOUS skirt-in-the-tights, Amanda!

Well, perhaps you made some guy's day.......

[Mtndog]

Phooey on gas prices- I WANT a car that smells like french fries (there goes my very strict Catherine!).

Gosh Sillies seems you all came out when I went to lunch....tis me, do I smell? Is that why Everyone hides when I am around

No, we just knew we were waiting for this........

Ohh here is my funny for the day!

I run to the bathroom to pee, run back and Susan and I ran over to the hospital pharmacy....a good 10 minute walk through the general hospital with the patients around us. We get back and then I grab my medical monitor and take her up to the 6th floor. We get to the elevator and she says oh my goodness Amanda....and points to my skirt.

Its at this point I will tell you guys that I am wearing a knee length plaid skirt....pleated....very cute! Well in the bathroom the whole back had gotten stuck up in my tights! Now I did have my lab coat on but obviously from the back you could tell......Only Me!

:lol: :lol: How many of us have actually had this happen? We know we don't have to worry about Tom but...C'mon...admit it!!!!!!!!!!

Amanda, don't feel too bad. I had this happen at a formal in college and my date, who I was very angry with at the time, tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen. So he grabbed the back of my STRAPLESS gown and almost pulled it off! Turd!!!!!!!!!!!