The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[blueeyedmanda]

My poor Kissey is so out of sorts...... I'm letting him do his thing......he's content to just be here, on the couch, brooding slightly. He's "in his cave" and happy that I"m letting him do taht. A good night's sleep, and all will be better.

back to magazine sorting and tossing...........but not to worry, there are no piles on the floor, sillies.

Susie- I hope Kissey is feeling better today....

[psawyer]

Good morning, friends. Just a quick scoot by on my way to breakfast, and then another day of work gainful employment at the store. As Arnold said, "I'll be back."

[elye]

Morning, All!

Wow...an interesting talisman has appeared in King Peter's life. I can feel the portentiousness of it all....

A faded monarch's visage, appearing to our Oracle King, at a quiet time as he is counting his bounty...Facing right....now, which breast did you slam on the coffee table, Susie? Nikki, on which foot appeared your festering blister? ...And Janet - - I believe you mentioned your right eye as the one affected by the perfume....

OMG.....

This simply must mean something......

Kissey is crabby. Not here yet, but he's crabby because he missed his motorcycle party. Oh dear.

Susie! Doesn't like sauce, will not eat veg or fruit.....attends motorcycle parties.....What a confounding bloke you have there!

Um.....what do you do at a motorcycle party? Do you dance? Are there balloons? Punch? I guess it cannot all congregate and end up in the kitchen - - no room for the bikes (?)

...Did not know there were such things.....

[Darn210]

Um.....what do you do at a motorcycle party? Do you dance? Are there balloons? Punch? I guess it cannot all congregate and end up in the kitchen - - no room for the bikes (?)

...Did not know there were such things.....

So this has me visualizing Hell's Angels gathered around a punch bowl swapping information on hair care products and how do you manage long blowing hair . . . oh the damage motorcycle riding must do to their long locks.

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Everyone,

Hello and glad to see everyone is as silly as ever! We recently got our new toilet after over a year of plumbing issues. It turns out, the mold forming in the bowl clogged the small holes that fill it up with water after flushing. The water here is so toxic! Naturally, a celebration was in order regarding our new addition. So, I wrote a poem I knew you all would appreciate.

Ode D'Toilette

I admired your amazing bowl

How you took my crap, I shall never know

Thy wondrous sound these ears behold

A royal flush that is equivalent to gold

For this poor, old toilet had breathed its last

And in came the new one with a blast

Now that the new mold has been cast

We must let go of our past

And welcome now another era and begin anew

Although not forgetting all that we have been through

Such is the reason for this ode

To our now dearly-departed commode.

Sincerely,

Jin

[Darn210]

Dear Everyone,

Hello and glad to see everyone is as silly as ever! We recently got our new toilet after over a year of plumbing issues. It turns out, the mold forming in the bowl clogged the small holes that fill it up with water after flushing. The water here is so toxic! Naturally, a celebration was in order regarding our new addition. So, I wrote a poem I knew you all would appreciate.

Ode D'Toilette

I admired your amazing bowl

How you took my crap, I shall never know

Thy wondrous sound these ears behold

A royal flush that is equivalent to gold

For this poor, old toilet had breathed its last

And in came the new one with a blast

Now that the new mold has been cast

We must let go of our past

And welcome now another era and begin anew

Although not forgetting all that we have been through

Such is the reason for this ode

To our now dearly-departed commode.

Sincerely,

Jin

That was quite lovely, Jin!!! And so good to see you. You need to stop by more often.

I hope you're giving your old commode a place of honoUr somewhere and not just chucking it . . . they make lovely planters . . .

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Janet,

Thank you for the compliments! It is so funny you mentioned using the old commode as a planter, because Dad was thinking about that! Recycling is important. You never know when something will come in handy! Maybe it is time I do something with those flower seeds I have had for years. Do you think they will even be able to grow?

Sincerely,

Jin

[nikki-uk]

OMG!!!! Jin's 'ode to the toilet'!!!!

Erm Em, my camara IS a Sony and it's BROKE

Clumsy Psoozie with Lilliputian boobs!!

Ok, off to the main event in a mo (bbq)....gonna try me some Mojitos on that blister !!

T'is me birthday tomorrow so I'm gonna have a few drinkies TONIGHT!!!!!!!

Laters

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Nikki,

I am glad you enjoyed my poem! It just came to me as I was sitting in the kitchen Friday morning. Divine inspiration always comes at odd times. You just never know when an idea will come that is silly and fun at once! I certainly love making things like that up.

Happy early birthday! Mojitos probably will do the trick for your foot. You may still be in pain, but you will not care! One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor! I love that saying. I want that shirt.

Sincerely,

Jin

[curlyfries]

- hardly Amazonian, my breasts...........quite Lilliputian, actually. :

Yet another similarity to myself!!!........Curly hair.....lefty......AND lilliputian breasts ....anyone else???

[Darn210]

Maybe it is time I do something with those flower seeds I have had for years. Do you think they will even be able to grow?

Perhaps with the right kind of fertilizer . . . might I suggest that you don't clean the commode before planting your seeds.

Any other thread, that might be too gross. What am I talkin' about??!! Poop gets discussed on just about every thread in this forum!!!

[Darn210]

Yet another similarity to myself!!!........Curly hair.....lefty......AND lilliputian breasts ....anyone else???

OH!!!! Lisa's here!!! Everybody scatter!!!! We'll meet back later!!!

. . . and . . . nooooooo, pretty much the opposite of everything you listed!

[curlyfries]

OH!!!! Lisa's here!!! Everybody scatter!!!! We'll meet back later!!!

OMG!!!!!<<<<rollingonthefloorlaughingalmostpeemypants>>>>

Hey, maybe I could use some of that fertilizer here in lilliput land!

[jerseyangel]

This is about an amazing thing that happened tonight.

Yes, tis remarkable indeed! What a great find!

I went downstairs last night with the intention of coming back in a few minutes to hear the story--and promptly fell asleep

Ode D'Toilette

What a fitting good bye to the old can! Thanks for sharing, Jin--I've missed you!

T'is me birthday tomorrow so I'm gonna have a few drinkies TONIGHT!!!!!!!

Happy early birthday, Nikki--have a great time tonight and have a drinkie for me

[Darn210]

Hey Jess!!! Is today kitty day??

[Jestgar]

Yes. I'm heading out now. Hoping it all works out. Oh heck, it will all work out, I just hope it doesn't involve too many inappropriate fluids.

[Darn210]

Yes. I'm heading out now. Hoping it all works out. Oh heck, it will all work out, I just hope it doesn't involve too many inappropriate fluids.

Do you have any tarps to line the inside of your truck with (I did read somewhere you drive a truck, right?)? Lawn and leaf bags work well in a pinch. Well, if it's an old truck, you can just hose the thing out when you get back. Are you taking Lyle along for the meet & greet?

Good Luck and come tell us how it went as soon as you get back!!!

[DingoGirl]

Yet another similarity to myself!!!........Curly hair.....lefty......AND lilliputian breasts ....anyone else???

:lol: :lol:

Hey, maybe I could use some of that fertilizer here in lilliput land!

It do not work, I tried it. Drank it, made a paste and smeared it on them, sprinkled it on my cereal, nothing works, they're still small.

Yes. I'm heading out now. Hoping it all works out. Oh heck, it will all work out, I just hope it doesn't involve too many inappropriate fluids.

mind yerself Jess!!!!!!!! Can't wait to hear which kitties come home wif you.....

SILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk about fluids, it's pouring down rain, like a cold winter's BLAST of rain, and I could NOT be happier............ Of course, I realize I am probably the only person in Phrezno who is pleased with this weather condition........'tis a three-day weekend in May, after all, and people have many outdoorsy things planned...........Kissey, for one, is looking at me like this as I snuggle on the couch w/ my blankie, making jewelry and reading, letting out the odd, delighted chortle here and there, and throwing in a small dance of glee each time I arise to get something..........

EMILY!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG your post made me chortle but I phorgot to quote it...... but just to clarify, 'twas my LEFT breast assaulted in the clattering malfeasance...... what does it mean? Portentous indeed but...not my right breast......I think some form of mathS is necessary to pull all of this together.....Ptaum?

NICOLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG happy birthday one day early! Today is my brother's birthday....41, I think he is?

Weezee is clearly pheeling phabulous with her freshly-emptied anal glands.......frollicking around with her big-paw footsteps (the cutest thing).......

we'll discuss anal glands for SArah's edification another time..............

JIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! loved yer ode to the commode!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG - there's a new reader at bottom now - - - just a few seconds, methinks, for this one to disappear....

[elye]

So, I wrote a poem I knew you all would appreciate.

Hi, Jin!! Great to hear from you again! Missed yer silliness...and superb poetry!

I hope you're giving your old commode a place of honoUr somewhere and not just chucking it . . . they make lovely planters . . .

Oh! I strongly suggest a conversation-stopping piece of outdoor sculpture...This is the kind of thing that gets my brain whirring with sudden fits of creative activity -- only happens, unfortunately, when old, useless inanimate objects appear on their way to the dump, and I suddenly say, "WAIT! That will be a grazing horse, or a reclining nude!"

Now, very little needs to be done to a toilet to bring it entirely out of the realm of fecal container (think Marcel Duchamp).....Once turned upside down, it can be a novel pulpit.

How about this?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/southyorkshire/conten...let_365x470.webp

It could also be used as a practice site for proper hovering...you could have it outside, practice your form out in the sun, then move it inside at night and practice while watching TV....

All KINDS of things you can do!

Yes. I'm heading out now. Hoping it all works out. Oh heck, it will all work out, I just hope it doesn't involve too many inappropriate fluids.

Yes, Jess...you've just flipped over a big 'un.....

It do not work, I tried it. Drank it, made a paste and smeared it on them, sprinkled it on my cereal, nothing works, they're still small.

Susie! Ya need the right kind of fertilizer for this type of magic - - sheep or cow manure simply won't do the job. It's the Sacred Yeti Scat, baby!

Have a great, blister-popping time tonight, Nikki!

Weezee is clearly pheeling phabulous with her freshly-emptied anal glands.......

New garage band!!

...or race-horse name.....

[blueeyedmanda]

Sillies I just need to vent for a few minutes....I hope to not sour the silly moods.....

I feel like maybe my marriage was a mistake....I don't know if I am happy....we are not even close anymore. We go our seperate ways all the time and it doesn't bother me when we aren't together....but the thing that bothers me the most is and hopefully I can discuss this here without it getting reported.....is there is no intimacy in our relationship....nothing. He blames it on the meds he takes for his neuropathy pain but it kills me. I want more, I want that closeness, we were supposed to come together and I thought getting married would bring that closeness, well if anything it put more of a wedge between us. For awhile with Landen being around we were happier. John always talks about wanting a child of his own, but then he never follows through (if you get my point) to even start that process. I want to be a mom so bad, I have so much love to give a child and to give a man and yet I feel like I am wasting my time here.....I cook dinner every night, he never eats it, he chooses to go out and buy fast food instead, he sits on the couch all the time and watches TV. I need more than this I need to be out and do things, I want to enjoy my life....

I feel trapped....and if I was to leave, where would I go, my family lives away and my job is here.....I dont have anyone I can really talk to about it, if people knew our bedroom life was non-exisitent they would laugh....I just don't feel if I can keep doing this anymore, He always says I will change, I will change, and nothing ever changes.....I don't know what to do......

please offer some suggestions, anything at all.....

[Darn210]

Oh Amanda . . . I'm so sorry things are the way they are for you and John. Do you think the medication is the problem or do you think he is using it as an excuse? I would look at the side effects of whatever medication he is on. I would have him talk to his doctor about this particular side effect and see if there is an alternative medication or a change in dosage that would help. If that doesn't work, I would see a couples therapist. Now is the time when you should really be enjoying yourselves. And I hate to say this (since I know how much you want them) but I wouldn't have kids until you get your issues resolved. Prayers and Hugs for you Amanda.

[elye]

Oh, Amanda!! I am so sorry about all that you're going through!

I think Janet is absolutely right - - you (both) need to figure out one ESSENTIAL thing: Is John's lack of physical involvement (and perhaps mental, as well) due to his meds, for real, or is it an excuse he is using to stay in a marriage that is comfortable and convenient for him? You must figure this out, and then, if it is the meds, find out if he wants to fix your marriage by searching out an alternative treatment. You sound like you certainly do. If it isn't the meds, I guess things are much tougher, really.

That is your first step. Answer this question however you can, by asking him, by seeing his specialist with him, whatever it takes:

-Is his lack of involvement in your marriage (lack of intimacy/sex, devotion to the TV, not eating with you) a result of his illness, and something he wants to change?

Your next move will have everything to do with the answer to that question.

I'm really thinking about you, Amanda! BIG HUGS.......

[curlyfries]

I'm so sorry Amanda. Everyone is giving you excellent advice. A couple of years ago my hubby went through a deep blue funk. It was horrid. He wasn't even a little bit nice....but I waited it out. Afterwards I confided in him that during that time I had seriously contemplated leaving him. I think it was a real eye-opener for him. I don't think it ever occurred to him that I would ever do that. In retrospect, I should have told him that much earlier on, it might have turned him around sooner.

[psawyer]

Amanda, I have seen just about everything discussed in the time I've been here. This topic is fine.

I am at work, and can't spend much time, but you have had some excellent advice already. I agree, it is critical to determine whether meds are truly the problem, or whether there is something else. My heart goes out to you.

[Daxin]

Amanda,

I feel your pain, and my heart breaks for you. I've gone through much the same thing in recent times myself, even to the point of finding a suitcase. When you love someone that much, it is excruciating! I only pray that he snaps out of it, or if it is the meds, talk to his doctor soon.

I agree with the advice you've gotten so far. I think the fact that you can talk to US about it is a good thing, but you also need to TRY and talk to John about it. Just about everything after that will hinge in his answer. It did for me, and now things are getting better, but the road was not an easy one. It was easier for the fact that I love my wife very much, but it was not easy.

*hugs and prayers*