The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Green12]

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Silly house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a little person under the stairs

The fuzzy shag toilet seat covers were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that the Boiler Man with heat, or at least a ballcock, soon would be there;

The chillens were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of kiddo balls danced in their heads;

And Nikki on her settee with her Tiger Pig blankie,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out in the Ho Tub arose such a clatter,

She sprang from the divan to see what was the matter.

Away to the window she flew as fast as the yeti,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snaux

Gave the lustre of mid-day to the crutch tip that had landed in the Ho Tub below, (how did that get in there?)

Then, what to her wondering eyes should appear,

But Susie's Jeep, and 17 FABULUSH Sillies,

With a little old driver, so phunny and parking mad,

She knew in a moment that natch, it must be Ptaughauaghm.

More rapid than llamas his Silly phriends they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Patti! Now Emily!, Now Amanda! Now Laura! Now Julie! Now, Bev and Susie!

On, Lisa (x 2)! On Janet! On Jacquie! On Peter! On Bunnie! On Theresa! On, Jess and Judy!

[DingoGirl]

Amanda - is John going to the funeral? Even he doesn't really have to go but it would be nice.....but you? oh my gosh - I would say OF COURSE you don't have to go! Spend the time with your mom! I have two aunts, my ONLY two - one three hours away and one in Minnesota - and I have to say, I don't plan on going to either of their funerals....... And I would not invite either to my wedding, if I had one, as I hardly know them.

I say, by all means, spend with with yer mum!

Oh, I see Jules has been hard at work on a long winter's poem :lol:

Will get to it - -

[DingoGirl]

OMG JULES!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: x 55

You have really outdone yerself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol:

LOVED it and no time to write one

*snackle*

must get ready to go to POST OFFICE <------ angry at self for not doing it sooner

wish me luck.......better bring a thick book, I suppose

[Jestgar]

Excellent poem!

'Manda, the living always come before the dead.

Made it in to work.

Buses are strewn all about. Hills closed.

The shuttle isn't running so the hospital sent Public safety in her 4WD jeep thing. I road up the hill with a 200 lb guy on my lap (4 of us in the back seat )

It is beautiful out though

And snow doesn't stop the boat, so no matter what, I can get home, even it requires hoofing it on the other side.

[blueeyedmanda]

OMG Julie!!!!!! Tis too funny dearY!!!!

[Judyin Philly]

. Would it be terribly wrong of me to not go to the funeral Saturday????

no......WITH THE WEATHER AND YOUR MOM...........I vote for seeing Mom. You only have one and she's here with you now. Don't waste time with someone you don't know. Know you want to keep John company but.....since your spending holidays with Johns' family.....i think you said........I vote to spent time with your Mom and your Dad just getting home after his ordeal..........my 2 cents.

Jules........loved the song and the time it took to do it.

judy

[jerseyangel]

BTW two of them have only seen me but never MET me..... So they don't really like me "just the way I am" since they don't know me.....just the perfect opportunity to phly my Phreak Phlag upon first impression :lol: I have already gotten teary- eyed whilst conversing with the only one who has met me They have that power

These sound like very powerphul pholks, indeed! Can't WAIT to hear all about it

Pa-Sillies I need to aska favor about right and wrong and what looks disrespectful....

No question, Amanda.....spend the time wif yer mom

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Silly house

Hee!!

[elye]

Amanda - -it is unanimous! See your mom. John will be there for his Uncle's family.

Hmmmmm .. .. Soooozie's got a Holy Meeting. The details will be fascinating for me to hear. Sooooze, we pondered early on in this thread whether or not Jesus was in fact celiac. . . . ..I suggest positing this as an introductory question. Should get the ball rolling - - ask if there is specific scripture that mentions him feeling bloated, tired or crampy during the Last Supper, and the whole immense irony that could exist in the "bread is the staff of life" thing. . . . . . ...

I just KNOW this will be a subject that will have them talking.

Um. . .. or perhaps not. Maybe they would sit, silent and staring. . . . . .....

Don't crash your Windows today. Oh, wait, the help desk is in India anyway.

Never mind.

Gad, the way things are happening enviornmentally, it could be snowing there, too. . . . . . ....

Emily, Lisa ....wonderful lyrics! I knew you had it in you. Someone mentioned "Night Before Christmas" a while back. Should we give it a go? I'll have to let that brew a while. 'Till later...

Jooooolieee! Terrific poetry. . .. . . so well done! I remember us throwing these lyrics around last year at this time, and Patti just knocked us dead with a stanza about all of us getting glutened:

"Now Sooozie! Now Em! Now Janet and Julie! Now Patti and POeter and Tom and Nikki!

To the toilet you run, to that loo down the hall,

Now dash away, dash away, dash away ALL!"

A paraphrase.. . . Patti said it so much better.....just TOO PHUNNY. . . .. .

[jerseyangel]

"Now Sooozie! Now Em! Now Janet and Julie! Now Patti and POeter and Tom and Nikki!

To the toilet you run, to that loo down the hall,

Now dash away, dash away, dash away ALL!"

A paraphrase.. . . Patti said it so much better.....just TOO PHUNNY. . . .. .

I had phorgotten all about that!

What a memory you have, M

[flourgirl]

Hmmmmm .. .. Soooozie's got a Holy Meeting. The details will be fascinating for me to hear. Sooooze, we pondered early on in this thread whether or not Jesus was in fact celiac. . . . ..I suggest positing this as an introductory question. Should get the ball rolling - - ask if there is specific scripture that mentions him feeling bloated, tired or crampy during the Last Supper, and the whole immense irony that could exist in the "bread is the staff of life" thing. . . . . . ...

I just KNOW this will be a subject that will have them talking.

Um. . .. or perhaps not. Maybe they would sit, silent and staring. . . . . .....

OMG.....HEEEHEEEHEEEHEEHEEEHAWHAWHAW!!!

[Green12]

I sillied up the Twas the Night Before Christmas poem so quickly. It didn't really rhyme

Needs a little...refining (and a ballcock somewhere in there)

Much more to reply to/comment on later!!

[Green12]

Ok, I revised a little. Pheel phree to edit/add/ or make up your own.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Silly HIZZ-OUSE!!!!

Not a creature was stirring, not even a Twa or the little people under the stairs

The fuzzy shag toilet seat covers were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that the Boiler Man with heat, or at least a ballcock, soon would be there;

The chillens were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of kiddo balls and projectile-free gluten-free baked goods danced in their heads;

And Nikki on her settee with her Tiger Pig blankie,

Had just settled down to nurse her massive hangover,

When out in the Ho Tub arose such a clatter,

She sprang from the divan to see what was the matter.

Away to the window she flew as fast as the yeti,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snaux

Gave the lustre of mid-day to nekkid Bev smeared in chocolate holding the crutch tip that had landed in the Ho Tub below, (how ever did they get in there????? )

Then, what to her wondering eyes should appear,

But Susie's Jeep that stinketh, SAM HILL MAN HEAD and the rest of her FABULUSH Silly phriends,

With a little old driver, so parking mad,

She knew in a moment that natch, it must be Ptaughauaghm.

More rapid than llamas the wackl Sillies they came,

And he cackled, and snorted, and called them by name;

"Now, Patti! Now Emily!, Now Amanda! Now Laura! Now Julie! Now, Bev and Susie!

On, Lisa (x 2)! On Janet! On Jacquie! On Peter! On Bunnie! On Theresa! On, Jess and Judy!

Amanda, I agree with the others. John can be there to represent the two of you and you should go see your mom before the bad weather comes in.

Susie, enjoy your lunch with the pastors. Just be yourself and they will love you like the rest of us do

Hi Judy!!

Jess has snaux!!

[nikki-uk]

JOOLS!!!!!! Most excellent poem (was chuffed me blankie was pheatured! )

Soozie lunching with the local clergy?!?!....... how exciting!!!!!!! (*cough* no liver crimes please)

Hope it goes well

Back from the Carol singing at Al's school...... really sweet, always chokes me up seeing 'em sing ....they signed throughout as well.......I'd like to show yer the sign for Bethlehem but it's too complicated!!!

Al's at his clubs xmas disco (not me!...and definitely NO liver crimes......... well maybe a small mulled wine )

Nicola has fallen out wiv all builders and refuses to play the waiting game ANYMORE.....GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

The boiler peeps haven't got the 'parts' in yet (can you believe I live in LONDON......not Outer Mongolia for Poete's sake!!!!!!!)

Rushed home for 4pm today as the foreman (of builders) had an appt to inspect the fan and fire alarms.

This appt has been cancelled so many times it's ridiculous ........ at 4.15pm they ring to say they can't make it, is Tuesday between 8am-6pm ok??????

....Nicola lost eeet and said it wasn't OK as 'believe it or not it's xmas next week and I'm too (freakin') busy to wait in ALL DAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! '

Foreman's girl then suggested Christmas Eve!!! GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

HARUMPHFFFF!!!!!!!! EEEEEjiiiitttts!!!!!!!!.....Yep, I really want a load of blokes with muddy boots, ladders and dusty tools traipsing through me house on xmas eve

HOLY KEEEERAPPPP!!!...........if they don't turn up Tuesday afternoon, I will keep the scaffolding outside me house (how festive!) as hostage!!!!!!!!!!!!

<finished now>

Cocktail anyone??????

[jerseyangel]

Gave the lustre of mid-day to nekkid Bev smeared in chocolate holding the crutch tip that had landed in the Ho Tub below, (how ever did they get in there????? )

Nice touch A bit of unexpectedness there in the middle

And you used the word "breast"

[jerseyangel]

Foreman's girl then suggested Christmas Eve!!! GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

[Green12]

Nicola has fallen out wiv all builders and refuses to play the waiting game ANYMORE.....GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

The boiler peeps haven't got the 'parts' in yet (can you believe I live in LONDON......not Outer Mongolia for Poete's sake!!!!!!!)

Rushed home for 4pm today as the foreman (of builders) had an appt to inspect the fan and fire alarms.

This appt has been cancelled so many times it's ridiculous ........ at 4.15pm they ring to say they can't make it, is Tuesday between 8am-6pm ok??????

....Nicola lost eeet and said it wasn't OK as 'believe it or not it's xmas next week and I'm too (freakin') busy to wait in ALL DAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! '

Foreman's girl then suggested Christmas Eve!!! GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

HARUMPHFFFF!!!!!!!! EEEEEjiiiitttts!!!!!!!!.....Yep, I really want a load of blokes with muddy boots, ladders and dusty tools traipsing through me house on xmas eve

HOLY KEEEERAPPPP!!!...........if they don't turn up Tuesday afternoon, I will keep the scaffolding outside me house (how festive!) as hostage!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cocktail anyone??????

NIKKI!!!!! This is all HEINOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Totally unacceptable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't blame you for bein F-ing MAD!

Hope they get their act together and git the darnthing dun, my gawd

....but on a happy note, Al's Christmas carol singing sounded so sweet

Nice touch A bit of unexpectedness there in the middle

And you used the word "breast"

Actually "breast" was already in there

I cheated I just copied the entire poem and inserted Silly things in place of the original words wherever I could.....guess I could have subbed "breast" for summat else

[jerseyangel]

.....guess I could have subbed "breast" for summat else

Gawd no--twas good fer a giggle

[tom]

SUCH Fantastic re-lyricating!!!!!

I can't imagine keeping up . .. .. .

I've been so off lately .. ..still not settled into any routine that includes work AND getting fed properly.

Somehow I can be utterly exhausted after work, but unable to sleep for MANY hrs. Was up past 5am last night.

And now only ONE WEEK 'til Christmas!!!

Jeez I should've gotten so many things done already

Bleh .. ..no silly to contribute .. . ..

But it's always nice to read, so Carry On!!!!!

[elye]

Hey, Ptaoughmghmn! Just keep up, 'tis perfectly acceptable!

Meant to say hi to the driving-by Judy, too!!

....they signed throughout as well.......I'd like to show yer the sign for Bethlehem but it's too complicated!!!

Does it look anything like the sign for "penis?" This would be, what...... .. Ironic? Fitting? Innappropriate and shocking, perhaps?

Love to see the kids sing - -today Jack's class went to sing at a nearby nursing home. Tears in me eyes, fer sure .. .. .!!

Nicola has fallen out wiv all builders and refuses to play the waiting game ANYMORE.....GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Nikerler, this is absolutely unacceptable! What in hell is WRONG with these people??

Santa can use their scaffolding, so leave it by the house!!

Jooooles, awesome lyrics. Your memory astounds me.

[jerseyangel]

And now only ONE WEEK 'til Christmas!!!

Nice to see you, Pataghumn--you sound utterly exhausted Hope you can get yerselph into a groove soon

How much do I LOVE yer av????

[Jestgar]

Jules!! :lol: :lol:

[Darn210]

Julie . . . . . . and yer lack of rhyming just makes it -er

Nickerler!!! PARKING MAD I WOULD BE!!!!

Tom - glad to see ya.

Kids singing . . . snort . . . had the Christmas program at the preschool today. Nothing like the 2 1/2 year old front-n-center sticking her hands down her pants . . . then me trying to whisper so that it's not picked up by the bajillion camcorders "Caroline, get your hands out of your pants" . . . so she takes them out of the front of her pants and then puts them down the back of her pants . . . so I let that one go - not quite so obvious that way.

[Jestgar]

I know this guy isn't new, but he is from Seattle.

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[elye]

. . . had the Christmas program at the preschool today. Nothing like the 2 1/2 year old front-n-center sticking her hands down her pants . . . then me trying to whisper so that it's not picked up by the bajillion camcorders "Caroline, get your hands out of your pants" . . . so she takes them out of the front of her pants and then puts them down the back of her pants . . . so I let that one go - not quite so obvious that way.

Can just picture this . . . . . .....

Footage to be shown at her wedding...... . . .

[elye]

I know this guy isn't new, but he is from Seattle.

Of COURSE he is!. . . . ..

This group is, as well, I am certain: