The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

......a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long phace?"

Now we both duck, Susan

[ranger]

I find that dumping a potted plant over near anything that needs to be cleaned works really well. When whoever shows up you greet them with exasperation saying "I just finish cleaning and the cat goes and does this. Do you mind if we just hang out in the other room?"

I have a lot of plants :ph34r:

Great idea! Now all I need are some potted plants and a cat. I took 5 min. to vacuum area around "his" chair. Thats all it took! You gotta love a man who's clueless.

[elye]

Ok sillies--I keep having this dream where I'm walking down a street in the downtown area of my hometown. All is well until I enter a store--then no matter which door I try to exit I don't recognize the area. Suddenly, it's a desolate, industrial kind of place. No one around.

Whoooooaaaaaa.. . .. ..... . .Pahteigh, this is eerie and much unsettling.......like somethin' outta Dickens. Tthings are suddenly not too phunnee. . .. . ...

Yes, being naked in such landscapes has happened to me in the odd dream. I'm trying to hide behind my hands, the side of a building, a large camel that suddenly lumbers in front of me. . . .... . . .... . ... . ..

Perfect for a deppresso. In this dream, do you know what kind of store this is? Do you feel that your future looks flat ( in real life). Are you in any kind of rut? Do you still have things to look forward to? Do you feel at all kind of locked into your currant situatio, even if thats a good place? I dunno.

Have you got yer clothes on? If you have the dream tonight, try to arrange it so you are naked. I'm curious to see if your nakedness brings about anything interesting, because mine never does. I just stand there, trying to cover up. Nothing changes, moves....no one looks. Gah.

hmmm.....a humourless ranger and we are already dangling yeti ballcocks. Things get scary quick around here.

Gawd.....did our yeti have a ballcock? How soon we forget......just trying to picture........

. . . also, there's a money back guarantee. If you find that you are not enjoying yourself, just return your unused portion of the thread and someone . . . not me . . . will refund your purchase price (less delivery fees, of course).

There is a new promotion happening as we speak - - you can get a trade-in on a new thread, but only if you act within 24 hours of your first post here and you will not get an extended warranty. If the new thread gets yanked due to profanity or trolling, you're outta luck. So Sooooozan, you have a day to think it over. . . ..

Ballcock, ballcock. Yes, I'm beginning to like that word. Gotta run. I've got to quick do something obvious in the house so DH thinks I did something today! Later.

Wow. This is sounding good.. . . ....think Susan is a keeper. . . . ..

[ranger]

......a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long phace?"

Now we both duck, Susan

A Morrocan walks into a bar and the bartender asks " Why the long fez Abduhl?" I think I've got to do more than duck on that one.

[Jestgar]

......a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long phace?"

A horse, a termite, a carpenter, a baby seal, and a statistician walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says

[ranger]

A horse, a termite, a carpenter, a baby seal, and a statistician walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says

[ranger]

I'm off to fix dinner (something I really do). Thanks for the laughs. By the way, even though I read serious books, the dumber the comedy, the more I like it. Airplane still cracks me up, even though I've seen it many times. Later.

[Judyin Philly]

Hi Ranger Susan.

Oh- and some good news for a change- I is officially a working teacher again

congratulations Bev

Joodie! please update on the pheline and the big cross country move....than PA will be lonely first Patti and then you....[/guote]

spent 1 1/2 at the vet yesterday getting shots and ck up for kitty

possible addoptor will be her tomorrow at 1:00 to see if they like Velcro

realtor was here at 10:30 am and still have things to do

was sick from good life cinn granola type cereal

chiro worked me in after realtor apt but still really sick

how can you have 20 'd's..................in 20 minutes of one ''sit''

know still and being tired from painting the hall stairs yesterday didn't help.

that's the news sillies.

i keep thinking...............sun and CA

love you all

Judy

[jerseyangel]

I'm off to fix dinner (something I really do). Thanks for the laughs. By the way, even though I read serious books, the dumber the comedy, the more I like it. Airplane still cracks me up, even though I've seen it many times. Later.

I love National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

i keep thinking...............sun and CA

That's what ya gotta do--sorry you got sick, Judith ...I was wondering where in the Sam Hill you've been.

Speaking of which, there's this major road here called Sam Houston Parkway and every stinkin time I see the sign fer it I think of Sam Hill Manhead I may or may not have already mentioned that, but what the hey..... How's he doing, Em?

[elye]

The baby seal walks up to the bar and says "I'll have anything except a Canadian Club."

Ah, ah ah..... . . . ......Inuit Club. . . . . . ...

[mimommy]

*pop*

Just "popped" in

and what do I find????

A new psilly

Hi Soo-zen!! <waves excitedly>

So nice to 'see' you here. Now, we need some basic info. to get ya started--

What's yer fav-o-rite beverage? We got mojitos, russians, some kinda fancy rain water...

What is your nickname? Nevermind, we will completely disregard it and give you new one...

What was yer G.P.A.? Fagettaboutit...nobody here can spell...

Welcome Susan, and do stick around!!

*pop*

[jerseyangel]

Wait a minute....was that minimom?....

[Jestgar]

how can you have 20 'd's..................in 20 minutes of one ''sit''

Dude..Get a labtop so you can talk to us on the toity.

And those surprise mimi pop-ins 'll scare the crap outta ya and make the job easier.

[mushroom]

Just a little Raychull poop- pop-in. And I thought that was reducing water ; was even considering switching from my diet Bacardi

[Darn210]

Guests due in 30 minutes . . . have now switched from clean mode to hide the evidence crap mode.

[curlyfries]

Ballcock, ballcock. Yes, I'm beginning to like that word. Gotta run. I've got to quick do something obvious in the house so DH thinks I did something today! Later.

I have soooo done this!!!!

was sick from good life cinn granola type cereal

The cinnamon in that stuff really does a number on me.

Guests due in 30 minutes . . . have now switched from clean mode to hide the evidence crap mode.

My kind of goil!!!!

[curlyfries]

Forgot to say Hi, Ranger Susan!....Welcome to all things Psilly!

Hope you stick around.....it's very therapeutic.......my visits are covered under my insurance

[jerseyangel]

.....it's very therapeutic.......my visits are covered under my insurance

:lol: Leighsah :lol:

[elye]

Speaking of which, there's this major road here called Sam Houston Parkway and every stinkin time I see the sign fer it I think of Sam Hill Manhead I may or may not have already mentioned that, but what the hey..... How's he doing, Em?

SAM HILL MANHEAD!! Oh, I miss him.......the way he used to sit on my dining room table, staring off, his silver/pewter face strong and impassive...... . . .

He sits in my buddy's front window, warding off bad men of ill intent. Truly, it's very funny -- he has not been moved from this location since I gave him to her last year.

Gad....how do we explain all of this to our Newbie? . . . . ...Well, Susan, y'see, my husband was in his work parking garage one morning last fall, and he spotted something kind of shiny over in the garbage collection area, and... ....well, .. . ......

Oh, crap. Ya gotta just go back1,000 pages or so. . . . . ....believe me, 'tis worth it. . . . . ........

[Jestgar]

Oh, crap. Ya gotta just go back1,000 pages or so. . . . . ....believe me, 'tis worth it. . . . . ........

:huh:

[mushroom]

:huh:

Yah, I believe it, like my mind will just fill in whatever it believes is appropriate That's what makes this place so much fun--mebbe evem better than the original! :lol:

[nikki-uk]

I'm off to fix dinner (something I really do). Thanks for the laughs. By the way, even though I read serious books, the dumber the comedy, the more I like it. Airplane still cracks me up, even though I've seen it many times. Later.

SUSAN!!!!!!!!!!...the more infantile...the more we laugh here!!!!!!

...my favoUrite line in Airplane ...'Yes, and don't call me 'Shirley''

PADT!!! Sending some 'proper' (English) tea wiv Devil Child to make it (Tel's not pheeling up to the flight, but DC makes a mean cuppa!! )

JOOdee!!.... hope the lady likes Velcro, and you get off the pot soon!!!

BAH!!!!!..Janet's cleaning adventures (very familiar, love Jess's upturned plant pot tip)

BeveLLE!!, you Bohemian cleaner YOU!!! (does that mean you wear a long floaty skirt, barefoot, with maybe some Joss sticks on the go )

My house has been described as a dump eclectic

Saturday morning peeps!!!!!!!!!....must get dressed and be productive

[elye]

Okay, Soooozun and Shroomie! Head back to page 1512 - - mid-November 2008 - - the sudden introduction of Sam Hill Manhead into our lives. . . .......

Reading it again, I remain fascinated in where he came from..... . . ....why he was there, right when DH was unlocking his car.... . . . ....what does it meeeeeeean?

I think I need to generate an RCMP inquiry ........ ..

[ranger]

OK. It's Sat morn and I'm not awake yet. The only glasses I can find slide off my face when I look down. I am computer (almost) illiterate. And you want me to go to page 1512. How do you do that? One page at a time? Does this silver man have anything to do with a garage in Washington left perhaps by a man in a trenchcoat who refers to himself lovingly as Deep Throat? If not, Please instruct. I had a grin on my face yesterday - could that be the beginning of an attack of funny?

[jerseyangel]

Good Saturday mornin' sillies

I can see Bevvie dancing in a phloaty skirt, barephoot. A beautiphul, phree spirit

Good "going back", Em!! Our sillie newbies can now read the saga of Sam Hill Manhead in it's entirety--surely required reading for all sills.

What else.....Nik--send DC wif tea toot-sweet!!! A proper English tea sounds so much nicer than me (hole-y) tea bags

Last night just as I was going to sleep, I turned and saw the biggest black bug on the wall, up near the ceiling I woke up Mark who tried to swat it with a rolled up newspaper, but only succeeded in knocking it to the floor--where it ran under the bed. Then it just disappeared

I, of course, over-reacted and could not possibly sleep with this thing at large in the room , so we moved the bedside tables and the bed away from the wall and still could not find it. I had the vacuum cleaner on, wand attachment in hand ready to suck it up and get rid of the bag--but got naught

Mark, of course, fell back to sleep immediately --I, however kept the TV on and watched for a return of the thing for half the night......