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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Open Original Shared Link

Sex is the woman's right, not the man's. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and it is one of a wife's three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce. The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation, although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah (marriage contract). A man may not take a vow to abstain from sex for an extended period of time, and may not take a journey for an extended period of time, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations. In addition, a husband's consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations is grounds for compelling a man to divorce his wife, even if the couple has already fulfilled the halakhic obligation to procreate.

Does Dr Laura tell you to go shopping????

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Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

Gads!!! They have these classes here too. Would NEVER let anyone see me do this, would be horrifying for all those involved!!

One of my friends from childhood is a fitness guru (videos etc) and you should see what she can do...freaking amazing. I would love to try with no one around for 5 miles!

I'm not sure exactly what she says, but would it be appropriate to ask him to imagine the roles reversed? If he were expected to do whatever Dr Laura says the wife should do? The way you presented it seemed a little one-sided.

Go Jess! All those links. Fab! You so rock!

Ask your husband if he thinks one of your kids should be scarificed:

"Dr. Laura's intolerance is not confined merely to name-calling. Besides trashing gays as "deviants," and same-sex marriages as "despicable," she has said of feminists, "They nauseate and sicken me."3 Even more shocking was her treatment of a Connecticut eighth-grader for an award-wining essay on free speech on the Internet. Attacking the girl by name, she maliciously asserted: "If she was my daughter, I'd probably put her up for adoption. . . .When she makes her marriage vows, and her husband has sex with someone else, let's see if she thinks that this philosophy works. She also suggested that the girl be "sacrificed," Inca style!"

Have him read this link that Jess posted: Open Original Shared Link

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Laura was on one of our local radio stations for a while a number of years ago, and I could never listen to her for very long.... . . gawd, now I remember why. I haven't read her book that you have, Rah-shyellle, but how misogynistically terrifying if it contains all of the diatribe I've been reading in Jyesss's quotes. I agree that your hub should peruse some of her other writing.....'twould give the reddest-necked bloke pause... . ..

I was at Walmart one day. A 50ish woman put everything in her car. She pushed the cart out into the drive between parking spaces & let it roll down the row! Walmart People are scary! :o

Lord..... . . one hears that some of them skulk around the frame department, slipping their reject photos of toes, table edges and people's necks into the display frames... . . ....

<_<:lol:

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

* Stand behind the pole, with one foot close to the base. Using your dominant arm, grab the pole at eye level. Eyeball the pole and lean backwards, straightening your arm as you do.

* Begin to circle the pole, keeping your outside leg straight while swinging it to the side. Pivot on your inside foot and let your inside knee bend slightly as you turn.

* Put your outside foot down, just behind the other foot. Shift your weight to the back foot and hook your inside leg around the front of the pole.

* Drop your hand down the pole and arch your body backwards. Only go as far as your back will allow.

* Straighten up and swing your leg down from the pole. Repeat.

* Take a bow.

:blink:

Ummmmm........I think I'm stuck!.......... :huh:

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

WTF?? I get home, barely scrape dinner together for the kids, still don't know if I have strep cuz the dr had to send the cultures out. I go downstairs to put a few things away in the basement pantry and there is fresh mouse scat all over all 4 shelves. Damn thing ate thru a bag of gourmet white chocolate <_< I took everything out of the pantry, sanitized everything, had to throw a garbage bag full of stuff away and then set traps. Anyone got a cat I could borrow?? It left the kids' pantry alone, my storage pantry alone, it just went for my flippin cake decorating pantry :angry:

Oye Rash-elle....I'll bet you rue the day you brought that woman's book into the house :( I dunno, I'd start by telling him that you have a healthy self respect and he better get his mindset back into the 21st century so ya'll can work together on yer issues....

It was HIM!!! I would NEVER contribute to that horrid woman's income. She is pure evil. I will be printing off those articles for hime to read as well! Thanks Jess!!!

Ask your husband if he thinks one of your kids should be scarificed:

"Dr. Laura's intolerance is not confined merely to name-calling. Besides trashing gays as "deviants," and same-sex marriages as "despicable," she has said of feminists, "They nauseate and sicken me."3 Even more shocking was her treatment of a Connecticut eighth-grader for an award-wining essay on free speech on the Internet. Attacking the girl by name, she maliciously asserted: "If she was my daughter, I'd probably put her up for adoption. . . .When she makes her marriage vows, and her husband has sex with someone else, let's see if she thinks that this philosophy works. She also suggested that the girl be "sacrificed," Inca style!"

Have him read this link that Jess posted: Open Original Shared Link

He has a lot of the same intolerant views as she does, but he doesn't berate people for it-he will discuss it, however, if the subject is brought up. I don't believe in judging people whatsoever, tis not up to me, it's up to God. (he would never attack a child like that for sure, more of the gay rights issues) I'm going to put a nice little "Bi-otch" file for him to read tomorrow. ;)

I know I have "daddy" issues, you know being the nanny for the woman he's screwing-WHILE he's screwing her, when you're 12 will mess you up, was date raped out of my virginity when I was 18, but this is my 2nd time thru therapy, and I've dealt with all that crap before. I don't really think it is an issue and dh is SOOOOO much different and such a better person than those other 2 DB's, but I think a switch goes off somewhere in me if I feel like I'm being pressured in any way. I guess I qualify as a feminist, but you know what? I'm proud of myself for standing up for what I believe. We are moving in the right direction though, even if it doesn't sound like it.....

Maybe I should leave him at the hotel when I meet up with Jess :P I promise, he's not all bad B)

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

It was HIM!!! I would NEVER contribute to that horrid woman's income.

Oops--I'm sorry Rah-shell. Me pheeble old brain gets confused sometimes.... <_<

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

I don't really think it is an issue and dh is SOOOOO much different and such a better person than those other 2 DB's, but I think a switch goes off somewhere in me if I feel like I'm being pressured in any way. I guess I qualify as a feminist, but you know what? I'm proud of myself for standing up for what I believe. We are moving in the right direction though, even if it doesn't sound like it.....

I understand what you're saying. Even though you have dealt with those issues, it's difficult not to react when pressured....it's instinct even though you know exactly why you feel that way. You should be proud of yourself--I think you are a very smart and brave lady and I have no doubt that J is a good man. :)

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

[quote name='elye' date='04 May 2010 - 08:03 PM' timestamp='1273021429' post='608

Lord..... . . one hears that some of them skulk around the frame department, slipping their reject photos of toes, table edges and people's necks into the display frames... . . ....

<_<:lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Maxi, my iPad

Hee! Your iPad is named "Maxi"? :lol:

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Maybe I should leave him at the hotel when I meet up with Jess :P I promise, he's not all bad B)

:P I was gonna ask you if you want to schedule a 'girls only' event when you come back.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Do you guys ever go to your profile and look at who visite you and onder why they visited you?

And yes I jus had an aweso,e margarita

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Do you guys ever go to your profile and look at who visite you and onder why they visited you?

And yes I jus had an aweso,e margarita

uh oh, here she goes!! Heehee

and I'd love some girl time!! I don't think I'll be able to ditch him that night though :( lol

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Do you guys ever go to your profile and look at who visite you and onder why they visited you?

And yes I jus had an aweso,e margarita

Sometimes I click the name of the poster instead of the topic. I do this even when I haven't had a margarita. :P

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

dude, I start Friday! These people are intense!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Do you guys ever go to your profile and look at who visite you and onder why they visited you?

Yes! But, um.. .. ......I have very few visitors. VERY few. I believe that I am perhaps the most unpopular, unvisited member of C.com.... People likely pop in here, happen upon one of my posts and immediately grab a pen and paper - - "okay.....'elye'..... . ... ...a profile I will NEVER be perusing".. . . . ...:lol:

dude, I start Friday! These people are intense!

YAY!! Whatcha wearin'?

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

dude, I start Friday! These people are intense!

They can't wait to have you!! :D Best of luck on Phriday!!

People likely pop in here, happen upon one of my posts and immediately grab a pen and paper - - "okay.....'elye'..... . ... ...a profile I will NEVER be perusing".. . . . ...:lol:

:lol: Actually I'm sure peeps that read here think you're about the phunniest person evea! I do--you always brighten me day :D

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

:lol: Actually I'm sure peeps that read here think you're about the phunniest person evea! I do--you always brighten me day :D

Me too!

Emmel: I have no idea. My BIL does think I've gone crazy with all the laundry I've been doing though, so I have PLENTY of options! I f anything, my clothes are a little too fancy. I got some pants at Goodwill, it's a miracle, I got three pairs that fit beautifully! It's hard to find pants that fit when you have a big butt! So just some nice shoes and a quiet top. which might be kinda hard, I don't buy a lot of 'quiet' clothing.... :ph34r:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Yes! But, um.. .. ......I have very few visitors. VERY few. I believe that I am perhaps the most unpopular, unvisited member of C.com.... People likely pop in here, happen upon one of my posts and immediately grab a pen and paper - - "okay.....'elye'..... . ... ...a profile I will NEVER be perusing".. . . . ...:lol:

YAY!! Whatcha wearin'?

I think your very funny!

Me too!

Emmel: I have no idea. My BIL does think I've gone crazy with all the laundry I've been doing though, so I have PLENTY of options! I f anything, my clothes are a little too fancy. I got some pants at Goodwill, it's a miracle, I got three pairs that fit beautifully! It's hard to find pants that fit when you have a big butt! So just some nice shoes and a quiet top. which might be kinda hard, I don't buy a lot of 'quiet' clothing.... :ph34r:

We must dress Bummi Bunni! (Sorry it was a typo & I thought it was funny) Wear something like you wore to the interview. After you've been there a week or so, you'll know what to wear. Life would be easier if we had uniforms provided for all occasions. Something that is loose & comfy & will fit our large bums.

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

I think your very funny!

We must dress Bummi Bunni! (Sorry it was a typo & I thought it was funny) Wear something like you wore to the interview. After you've been there a week or so, you'll know what to wear. Life would be easier if we had uniforms provided for all occasions. Something that is loose & comfy & will fit our large bums.

Hee!!! I got a good lay of the land while I was there both times, that's why I'm worried about standing out a bit with my colorful, shiny wardrobe. I don't really mind though, dull colors depress me. My clothes are red, blue, pink, yellow, purple, or all of the above sometimes. I don't like dull. I think I'll wear my new dove grey trousers with a purple striped button down and black shoes. I saw a lot of knit tops, so I can use some of those too. Colors make me happy and if I'm happy I'll work better and they won't fire me after ninety days! So I guess I'll just stand out!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Hee!!! I got a good lay of the land while I was there both times, that's why I'm worried about standing out a bit with my colorful, shiny wardrobe. I don't really mind though, dull colors depress me. My clothes are red, blue, pink, yellow, purple, or all of the above sometimes. I don't like dull. I think I'll wear my new dove grey trousers with a purple striped button down and black shoes. I saw a lot of knit tops, so I can use some of those too. Colors make me happy and if I'm happy I'll work better and they won't fire me after ninety days! So I guess I'll just stand out!

Purple button down sounds down right conservative.

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

Purple button down sounds down right conservative.

Well, yeah, but it's kinda bright... I did see one person wearing orange. Maybe I won't stand out too much next to pumpkin girl.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

better to stand out for being vibrant, than to blend into the wall by being a nobody. If you've got the attitude to go with it, be bright.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

better to stand out for being vibrant, than to blend into the wall by being a nobody. If you've got the attitude to go with it, be bright.

Again, wise words from our Jyesss.... .I completely concur. Phunny we are discussing this - - was in to see my mom tonight, and she has been moved into the gorgeous, big, bright and airy geriatric rehabilatation section of the hospital. Once there, patients are to be in their own comfortable street clothes. Tonight she was in her neon yellow cotton blouse and bright green paisley pants. :blink::lol: Magnificent.

ANNNNND: Mom asked me to bring in the light-brown sharpie to redo her eyebrows, which I will do tomorrow. Eunice, the lady sharing the room with her, thought this was a fantastic thing, and asked if I would put a funny moustache on her. I will be bringing several shades of brown for her to choose from. Mom then talked about drawing big red spectacles around her eyes.. . . . .the possibilies are endless, and the rehab centre may never be the same....... .. . ..

:lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Woohoo!! Sounds like tomorrow is makeover day at the rehab center B)

Em--how sweet yer mom's outfit sounds :D

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Em--how sweet yer mom's outfit sounds :D

I know! Man, she was rockin'... .. .. ....:lol:

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