The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[DingoGirl]

Dear gawd......this made me sit up, eyes widening. .... .... . ....

'Tis the story of me life.

I knew at least one (or several) Sills might get this

Crap, literally NO ONE would believe a story like THAT......an errant crutch tip, suddenly found somewhere... . ........as if.. . . ......!

as IF!!!!!!!!! *cackle*

I gots ta git me o'er ta the book, czech oot thoze piks!!

Is it sick and wrong that we REALLY need a new bed _{I've been sleeping on the aero bed in the basement for a month cuzofa bad back}, so we go to mattress world last night and of course the bed we need and want is the very most expensive bed in the whole darned place, so we asked about a floor model, they had what we wanted in the size we wanted--right place at right time and got a 7500$ bed for 2400(!!!) BUUUUUTTTTT, it kinda grosses me out that creepy, dirty, stinky peeps have layed on this bed

Hope y'all had a great candy nite. My kiddo's got in some majah trouble last night for being ornry and got all their candy taken away. My sonny boy was huntin 'round for it this morning. Too bad for them-they each only got 1 piece, too bad for me-the rest of the candy sucked, nothing worth eating!

I gots me my vita-mix yesterday and have been pureeing everything in sight, kidz bettah watch out... Made cream of broccoli soup that tasted like crap

Once I was having a dinner party and dropped an entire (cut) loaf of homemade gluten-free garlic/rosemary bread on the floor. Before anyone could see, I quickly picked up, reassembled and served Is that wrong??

Are ya shredding yet Sooz?

Ruhh-shelle is very entertaining

I hate that mattresses are so expensive. And cars. And laminate floors. And boobs. Lots of stuff.

Rach - I make a broccoli bisque soup - SOOOOOOO super easy - and put curry in it - no cream. Wonder if your kids would gag at the curry? I like it QUITE spicy.....there is no fat in it but a tiny bit of butter.....cook the broccoli, an onion, lots of garlic in some chicken stock and water. I put in one of those plunger soup thingys to blend it.....what in hell's it called? Then add salt, pepper, curry powder. A dollop of plain yogurt when serving, and a squeeze of lemon. YUMMY!!

did my shredding.....back is quite sore. I am really doing the easy version - trying to baby my back, etc.......I WILL get through it!!

Mine too! Cannot for the life o' me stick to one thing til its completion.

Lots o' dealings with crutch tips here, lately. Wood crutches have tan ones, metal crutches have grEy ones. Hubby did his pirate thang for Halloween. So when he took off his artificial foot, he had to add a crutch tip.

.....Aaaand heeeere we are!

See, another silly can relate to this unfinished project business.

LEESARGH!!!!!!!!! You guys look SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!! Great pirates!! And - dang, yer look so fabulously SVELTE!!!!!!!!! what in hell is going on there????????

where's the crutch tip? I don't see it...........I see the wooden peg......but not the tip......WIH?

Jess's pics are magnificent! makes me want to go........

[jerseyangel]

Lee-sa!! You and Brian look so adorable and happy!!!!

We didn't ever get back to work today......decided we were starving so we went to Outback and got steak....and wine (at 2 in the afternoon, no less) Twas so good--I can't believe how much I ate.....and we split a 'thunder from down under' I'm sure I gained 5 pounds this afternoon.

Now the sugar is still giving me the munchies......evil stuff! Must get back on the wagon immediately!

But it was so good......

[curlyfries]

LEESARGH!!!!!!!!! You guys look SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!! Great pirates!! And - dang, yer look so fabulously SVELTE!!!!!!!!! what in hell is going on there????????

where's the crutch tip? I don't see it...........I see the wooden peg......but not the tip......WIH?

I'm tellin you......no sugar is the way to go!.........although I didn't do it to lose weight......and every time I try to cheat, my body tells me to CUT IT OUT!!!! But hey...lost over 50 pounds!

Project Peg Leg.......

Step 1: remove foot

Step 2: add pipe to extend length, compensating for missing foot

Step 3: add crutch tip

Step 4: cover prosthetic with poster board in a cone shape

Step 5: cover poster board with wood-tone contact paper

.....and voila! Crutch tip is mostly covered up and is in a matching tan color, but it is there!

[elye]

Once I was having a dinner party and dropped an entire (cut) loaf of homemade gluten-free garlic/rosemary bread on the floor. Before anyone could see, I quickly picked up, reassembled and served Is that wrong??

You were probably okay - - in this house, I would have picked up the broken loaf, only to find bits of Q tips and soap imbedded throughout.... .. . . ...

I hate that mattresses are so expensive. And cars. And laminate floors. And boobs. Lots of stuff.

And a MAID.... ... to clean my floors, so that I could drop pills and loaves of bread with nary a worry.. . . .....

Man, imagine having a person in place who would clean your entire house, regularly??

where's the crutch tip? I don't see it...........I see the wooden peg......but not the tip......WIH?

I don't either! What a fantastic pic, Leeeesargh.....you guys look adorable. But the crutch tip..........Where could it be?

Perhaps it is in my ho' tub.. . . . ......

[jerseyangel]

I'm tellin you......no sugar is the way to go!........

Tis so true!!

You were probably okay - - in this house, I would have picked up the broken loaf, only to find bits of Q tips and soap imbedded throughout.... .. . . ...

<snort>

I could use a maid.....still so many boxes and things all over the place. My mind seems to have gone numb....I'm overwhelmed wif all this stuff

[mushroom]

My mind seems to have gone numb....I'm overwhelmed wif all this stuff

Truly, t'is only when we move that we actually discover all "this stuff" most of which we had no idea we had, don't know what to do with, and will have no possible use for in the future. But stuff is stuff, and it is amazing how attached you can become to something when you think about tossing it

[jerseyangel]

Truly, t'is only when we move that we actually discover all "this stuff" most of which we had no idea we had, don't know what to do with, and will have no possible use for in the future. But stuff is stuff, and it is amazing how attached you can become to something when you think about tossing it

OMGawd Shroomie--that is it exactly! I just have this overwhelming urge to hold a gigantic garage sale and get rid of it all!

[DingoGirl]

We didn't ever get back to work today......decided we were starving so we went to Outback and got steak....and wine (at 2 in the afternoon, no less) Twas so good--I can't believe how much I ate.....and we split a 'thunder from down under' I'm sure I gained 5 pounds this afternoon.

Now the sugar is still giving me the munchies......evil stuff! Must get back on the wagon immediately!

Pads! this sound fab! Alas, I have to tell you....WINE also causes the munchies. Just ask me

and ya waited until TWO to start drinkin? Amateur :lol:

Project Peg Leg.......

Step 1: remove foot

Step 2: add pipe to extend length, compensating for missing foot

Step 3: add crutch tip

Step 4: cover prosthetic with poster board in a cone shape

Step 5: cover poster board with wood-tone contact paper

.....and voila! Crutch tip is mostly covered up and is in a matching tan color, but it is there!

I"m confused about step one.....do you mean you take off the phake phoot, off the prosthesis? It's not attached? Like Heather Mills' leg? Well.......she's got some kind of special deal going on, with high heels and all......what is THAT about?

Man, you guys sound like pros at this, already and just LOVE to see that Brian has a sense of humour, through it all He gets to be a pirate every year, I'd say!

oh.......Jerry Seinfeld called, he wants his Puffy Shirt back *snackle*

And a MAID.... ... to clean my floors, so that I could drop pills and loaves of bread with nary a worry.. . . .....

Man, imagine having a person in place who would clean your entire house, regularly??

Have I told youse guys about these girls from high school, and that.....two girls have hubbies on the Forbes BILLIONAIRE list??? Both have live-in housekeepers (one's in Hong Kong, one's in LA). But - the one in Pacific Palisades (in Schwarzenegger's old house, John Forsythe's before that) has LIVE-IN:

maid

nanny

chef

and......

hairdresser who comes to her house

makeup person who comes to her house

personal assistant

driver

and........countless other accoutrements. They are truly, astonishingly, MEGA wealthy.....and I"m suppose to go to this house in Feb. I know I've told you guys.

I just don't think I can go. I told them all that I would be mistaken for the groundskeeper, in ripped jeans and Ugg boots........

really sounds too harrowing for me!

Alas, she's promised to have her plastic surgeon/dermatologist there, so I could get this GIANT FISSURE between my eyes shot out?????????? AND...she'll have her chef whip up (or buy) any kind of gluten-free food I want?????AND furthermore....this gal just made friends with, at a party, Alice Bast, president of some Celiac foundation? She forwarded me Alice's contact info.........

um.....what do I do? Do I invite Alice to this thread?

*CACKLE* :lol:

it's all so traumatizing for a CLOVIS girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGawd Shroomie--that is it exactly! I just have this overwhelming urge to hold a gigantic garage sale and get rid of it all!

call me when this happens, Pads, I"m there :winkyface:

[curlyfries]

I"m confused about step one.....do you mean you take off the phake phoot, off the prosthesis? It's not attached?

Alas, she's promised to have her plastic surgeon/dermatologist there, so I could get this GIANT FISSURE between my eyes shot out??????????

His first, temporary leg has a foot that can be removed. It can also be re-attached backward....sideways....

You have one of those, too????? I absolutely hate, HATE mine!!!!

Just think how mahhh-ve-lous we all could look if we had all those....accroutrements! Can not imagine someone coming to my house everyday to do me hair and makeup......I am so inept at both

...and a maid

....and a chef

<sigh>

You HAVE to go, you know. Then you have to give us a full report, so we can live vicariously through you!

[DingoGirl]

<sigh>

You HAVE to go, you know. Then you have to give us a full report, so we can live vicariously through you!

I'm too much of an URCHIN to go. Peasant, pauper, poor, impecunious, ill-mannered savage

Well, really, I just don't have cute enough clothes and a nice enough CAR to go.

heading outside - FULL MOON!!!!!!! it's GLORIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jestgar]

I'm too much of an URCHIN to go. Peasant, pauper, poor, impecunious, ill-mannered savage

Hell I'll go and tell them I'm you.

I'm 5'7" with green eyes. Will it work?

_{and big boobs, but I can say they're store-bought} :ph34r:

[mushroom]

Well, really, I just don't have cute enough clothes and a nice enough CAR to go.

Fly in, and have her driver pick you up!!

[elye]

I"m confused about step one.....do you mean you take off the phake phoot, off the prosthesis? It's not attached?

Oh! This has suddenly reminded me of Rene Magritte's most compelling, disturbing, downright ludicrous yet ingenious painting he ever created......I recall my queasy obsession with it all through university:

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. . . . . ............!!!!!!!!!!

Sooooozle! OF COURSE you are going to this $$Forbes$$ house in February. Man, we'll ALL go! There is absolutely room for us all to stay there, and we can have our Psummit amidst these squillionaires, some of whom I am sure are psilly themselves.

Gad, they might not know what hit them.... . . . .

They sound like good people, Sooooze (good, stinkin' RICH people)......are they really going to care what kind of vehicle you show up in? Or that you are not wearing Donna Karan? You have absolutely EVERYTHING going for you, you just don't have millions of dollars. So what? YOU GOTS TA GO!! They will really miss out if you are not there.

And if WE are not there.

Jack's latest phact:

Many more people, worldwide, use blue toothbrushes than red ones.

Just checked -- mine is, in fact, blue.

[jerseyangel]

and ya waited until TWO to start drinkin? Amateur :lol:

:lol: I'm learnin'

and......

hairdresser who comes to her house

Bingo! Now I'm jealous......

I'm too much of an URCHIN to go. Peasant, pauper, poor, impecunious, ill-mannered savage

Now stop that!

Fly in, and have her driver pick you up!!

Capital idea, Shroom!

And if WE are not there.

Yes....<sigh>....I believe this is the crux of the issue

My gawd Em--that pheet painting Can nae look away.....

[curlyfries]

I'm too much of an URCHIN to go. Peasant, pauper, poor, impecunious, ill-mannered savage

Well, really, I just don't have cute enough clothes and a nice enough CAR to go.

She invited you, didn't she?.......So she wants you to be there!!!!

DOOO IIIIIT!!!!!!!

Sooooozle! OF COURSE you are going to this $$Forbes$$ house in February. Man, we'll ALL go! There is absolutely room for us all to stay there, and we can have our Psummit amidst these squillionaires, some of whom I am sure are psilly themselves.

Gad, they might not know what hit them.... . . . .

They sound like good people, Sooooze (good, stinkin' RICH people)......are they really going to care what kind of vehicle you show up in? Or that you are not wearing Donna Karan? You have absolutely EVERYTHING going for you, you just don't have millions of dollars. So what? YOU GOTS TA GO!! They will really miss out if you are not there.

What she said

[nikki-uk]

AFTERNOON PEEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the record, I HATE teenagers ..... well NOT all of 'em, just mine.............NO WAIT!...just DC

...But I digress!!......

and we've made up now called a truce

Guys, ...*serious moment alert* I am worried ......... forcing Tel to go doctors tomorrow...... he's been having dizzy spells, headaches, lack of spacial awareness ...but he just had a really bad spell where he was staggering like a drunk and I had to help him sit down

Ok, not much to tell.... as expected (less than enthusiastic GP )

Terry saw the doc, doc gave him tabs for Menieres disease and advised he get his eyes tested.

I'm not convinced...just playing the waiting game

.....Aaaand heeeere we are!

OH-em-geeeeee

You 2 are just ADORABLE!!!!!

...but also....LISA- yooz is lookin' HOT girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!

...all that stress must suit ya Grandma!

_{<Note to self....must try 'no sugar diet'............ YEAH RIGHT...as if I'd last more than 5 minutes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!>}

I'm too much of an URCHIN to go. Peasant, pauper, poor, impecunious, ill-mannered savage

SUSAN JANE!!!!!!!

You bloody WILL!!!!!!!..... I INSIST!!!!!!!!!!!!

pleeeeeeaze!!!!!!!!!!

I totally, totally understand (you 'ill mannered savage!' )............... but I don't want you to have regrets.....and also *I* want to have rich friends who invite me places!!

On a totally different 'social scale' ( *snort* ) *I* have been invited to a wee get together of my school yr to the pub (that backed onto me old school!) next Sunday afternoon

_{<FACEBOOK has alot to answer for!!!!!!!>}

I am TOTALLY cr@ppin' meself about it, BUT forcing meself to go, 'cos otherwise I'd see the pics on FB and KICK MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!

...so,

One of the group is an accomplished actor..nay a 'thespian' (GADS!!...looking at his fb page he's acted with THE BEST Brits)....another has 4 kids and her own business,... another lives in Australia now & is back in the UK for business

...and then there's me

Picture the scene:

'So, Nik, what have you been doing for the last 20 years - what do you DO????'

Only the MOST important job of ALL!!!...raising a band of miscreant brotherz!!!!!!!!

GAH!!!!!!!

BOLLOCKS!!

...they'll just have to 'take me as I am!!

...and dear gaaaawd....WHAT shall I wear????

So Sooze, on a massively smaller scale, I DO kinda understand ...I think

Part deux coming up!!...

[celiac-mommy]

.....Aaaand heeeere we are!

PHABULOUS photo!! You mateys look great!!

I hate that mattresses are so expensive. And cars. And laminate floors. And boobs. Lots of stuff.

Boobs and tummy tucks. I don't think I'll be able to have either Gawd what I'd give to have a tummy tuck!

You were probably okay - - in this house, I would have picked up the broken loaf, only to find bits of Q tips and soap imbedded throughout.... .. . . ...

Baby vomit

OMGawd Shroomie--that is it exactly! I just have this overwhelming urge to hold a gigantic garage sale and get rid of it all!

I just cleaned out 2 drawers and ended up with a garbage bag of clothes

You HAVE to go, you know. Then you have to give us a full report, so we can live vicariously through you!

YES, YES, YES!!!

Well, really, I just don't have cute enough clothes and a nice enough CAR to go.

How's about I come down, take you shopping for some psuper chic clothes, we'll rent a nice car and you can take me as your 'assistant' Either way, you TOTALLY have to go, you'll regret it if you don't

[nikki-uk]

...part deux.....

I am SO excited!!!!!

I am going here tonight!!!!!

Open Original Shared Link

DC was doing a project in school about it, ...and the teachers wanted the kids to go on this walk.....and invited parents

*I* am more keen than Devil Chile who is mostly alooph in a teenagery kind of way

Way cool!!

[Jestgar]

...part deux.....

I am SO excited!!!!!

I am going here tonight!!!!!

Open Original Shared Link

DC was doing a project in school about it, ...and the teachers wanted the kids to go on this walk.....and invited parents

*I* am more keen than Devil Chile who is mostly alooph in a teenagery kind of way

Way cool!!

I've done that walk. Way cool indeed!

[elye]

Open Original Shared Link

*I* am more keen than Devil Chile who is mostly alooph in a teenagery kind of way

OoOoOooh, would LOVE to take this tour -- as would my Ripper.... ......he is completely in opposition to DC on this, Nik (and likely in most things with every child/teen, methinks).....he is fascinated by Jack the Ripper....... . . . .these old, historic tales absolutely entrance him -- The Titanic, Pompeii, Easter Island, Atlantis. ......... I am certain that these things bored me ad nauseum as a twelve year-old.

HEY! What coloUr's yer toothbrush, anyways?

[jerseyangel]

Ok, not much to tell.... as expected (less than enthusiastic GP )

Terry saw the doc, doc gave him tabs for Menieres disease and advised he get his eyes tested.

I'm not convinced...just playing the waiting game

Could be, Nik....at any rate, keep us posted!

*I* have been invited to a wee get together of my school yr to the pub (that backed onto me old school!) next Sunday afternoon

_{<FACEBOOK has alot to answer for!!!!!!!>}

I am TOTALLY cr@ppin' meself about it, BUT forcing meself to go, 'cos otherwise I'd see the pics on FB and KICK MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep--you'd fer sure be kickin yerself if you don't go. Sounds like a lot of phun!! You simply must go. I can SO relate to "what do you do?" Well, I know what you do and it's one of the hardest jobs there is

Hee! Nik called Suz by her phull name The girl means business

...part deux.....

I am SO excited!!!!!

I am going here tonight!!!!!

Open Original Shared Link

Does sound cool! Have a rip-snorten' time Get it? Rip?

[jerseyangel]

I've done that walk. Way cool indeed!

Jess is so cosmopolitan

[flourgirl]

Nik a Nik.....if Telehubby's dizziness continues to be a problem, and they decide to call it idiot-pathetic....you may want to consider looking for another immune system problem. It can be present in so many of them...as in Sjogrens.....Fibro....et-sssseterah. For some of us, other "diss-eezes" are present along with Celiac. Just a thought. I have a terrible time with dizziness....have off and on most of my life...and finally I have something to attribute it to.

Have-a-wee pictures fill me with longing....to go ...to see.... to experience for myself! Siiiiiiiiigh...someday perhaps.

Kurly Nana......what a cute picture! What a wonderful pair you make. So blessed with one another in spite of (perhaps partly because of) all you've had to phace!

Psuessle....you've already heard it from all of us before. GO!!! Enjoy the heck out of it all, and don't you dare pheel guilty, or less meaningphul, or less deserving than any of them. You have as much value.....or more.....than any of them. Just be your wonderful psilly pself.....wear your own clothes, your own style, drive your own car. Bet you could pull it off and make them believe that THIS is the new sheek...the new swaffv and de-boner. Won't take long and they'll be dressing/walking/talking like you! (Maybe inside...they pheel that they may not measure up to your standards....didja ever think of that? If you don't go...they may pheel that YOU are the snob...didja ever think of that? Do you want to hurt the tender...rich little pheelings of these peeps? Didja think about that? Huh? Huh? Didja?)

[Jestgar]

Nik a Nik.....if Telehubby's dizziness continues to be a problem, and they decide to call it idiot-pathetic....you may want to consider looking for another immune system

Do we all have this option?

[Mtndog]

Hello Psillies- Hope everyone had a phun and safe Halloween weekend.

Paddeigh's in her new house!

Jess- Hawaii must have been heavenly!

Lisa- You and Brian look fab! Your senses of humor and psilliness are inspirational to all!

Suze- As everyone else said- YOU MUST GO! I come too?

Nik- jack the Ripper SCARES me! He was so disgusting......it's gonna be creepy!

Thinking of Judy and Jim as they journey cross-country!

Sure I'm missing something.......have a head cold of epic proportions. Can't breathe- head wants to explode. I got nuttin! Just wanted to say hi.