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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
I must tell you what can be found throughout my house. When you first buy a small frame, there is usually a print of a photo in it, usually an attractive young generic-looking girl or man. Well, in several of my frames I have kept these people within, and matted it nicely. People will pick up one of the pictures and say, "Oh! Lovely pic. Who is this?" and I'll shrug and say, "I dunno".

People either find this hysterically funny or plain strange. No middle ground, here. I find it a scream......

:lol: :lol: :lol:

a distinct GUFFAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I find it a scream, also, and have done it myself. Have never tried your other idea, though........replacing the photos in stores w/ rejects......mygawd, if you have actually done this Emily, and you are not telling fibs, you have been exalted in my mind to......madder than anyone. Truly. If we lived in the same town, dear God, no telling the havoc we'd wreak. :wacko:

:lol: :lol:

(feeling better today but my EARS are still going to EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!! What in hell is that? can you moms tell me? Sorest throat still and screamingly painful ears......do I have an ear infection? :huh: Yes, green snot is now coming out, FYI)

Our student part-timer comes in at 11 on Sunday to open. He last saw the store an Thursday evening. He will have to re-shovel the parking lot, and then cope with a made over store as he does the daily inventory review and puts up tags for the sale that starts tomorrow. We have not given him any warning. We are evil. :ph34r:

:lol: :lol:

Yes, another moderator, corrupted.

Retail and the constantly re-configuring - - OMG - it can get heinous......

Did I tell you guys I'm goign to apply to be a part-time floral designer at this new posh place coming in? Have no idea when it's opening.....but it's 1.5 miles from my house. Here are my requirements:

1. A stool upon which to sit whilst messing w/ flowers (cannot have a solid standing job due to wretched back)

2. Nice bosses. The FIRST hint of a$#@$%$$, and - not kidding - - they get a stern look. Second sign.......they get a verbal admonition. Third......I am out the door. :lol:

(I have had too many - in fact - mostly ONLY menial jobs all my life due to impaired brain...I was very, very stupid on many jobs and got in lots of trouble.....so now......esp. since the job at teh wretched art store - - it's a Pavlovian response........I"ll allow a boss a bad mood - - but mistreatment - - nope - can't do it :lol: )

....Emily divided by herself, cannot stand

gahhhhhhh :lol:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

:lol: seriously.

Janet - a spatula :lol:

Hmmm....

As my DH was passing by the computer last night, I said, "Hey! What does this look like to you?" He glanced over and immediately said, "Penis", and kept going. (Mygawd...can I use this word here?) So......what would Dr. Rorcharck make of this?....

*snort*


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blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Sillies I think I lost my silliness with all the recent stress in my life....so depressing. Last weekend, John and I had such a great time together.

This weekend, after the week which was bad (nothing work related) but this weekend was a mopey weekend, all we did was sit around. Almost a waste of a weekend. Now tomorrow we go back to work.

Sorry to rain on the parade but this was just a disappointing weekend..

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Sorry to rain on the parade but this was just a disappointing weekend..

:( Oh Amanda....so sorry. But not to worry, there IS no raining on the Silly Parade...impossible. :)

Okay.....today - - - my prescription - - - snuggle up w/ John and Lucky - - have some fun drinks - cosmos? Or how about champagne mixed w/ pomegranite juice? Have the cocktails and eat some yummy snacks and look at the GORGEOUS Tom Brady and.......try and pretend that no wretchedness exists in your life........and remember that all of this, too, shall pass.

:)

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Oh Susie, you are so sweet and full of some great ideas. I think we will be making cosmo's. We do need to head to the grocery store....and get our superbowl food. I am thinking Tacos tonight.

nikki-uk Enthusiast

I totally understand the 'not smiling' in photos!!

My Dad did photography as a sideline (weddings etc)...used positively ancient cameras (anyone heard of box brownie???)

My brother & I dreaded a photo being took....move here...no! there!!...wait ...like 10 mins while Dad faffed around with the light metRE :rolleyes: ...grimacing through clenched teeth...my Dad shouting ''Say Cheese!!''.....ugh...exhausting....

Well, Sillies, hope everyone is enjoying the weekend so far. We went to Starbucks in our travels today....and to think just a year ago, I wouldn't have dared spend the day out shopping like a normal person. I am so much better :D Sometimes I can't quite believe it. Just thought I'd share this wave of happiness :D:D

Awww...warms the cockles of me 'eart to read that Patti!! :D

I must tell you what can be found throughout my house. When you first buy a small frame, there is usually a print of a photo in it, usually an attractive young generic-looking girl or man. Well, in several of my frames I have kept these people within, and matted it nicely. People will pick up one of the pictures and say, "Oh! Lovely pic. Who is this?" and I'll shrug and say, "I dunno".

People either find this hysterically funny or plain strange. No middle ground, here. I find it a scream......

:lol::lol:

While strange it is hysterically funny :lol::lol: ...but OMG!!!!!...pure genius to place your unwanted pics in the frames at the store :lol: ........What fun!!!!!!!

....whilst nowhere near as MAD as Emily I do have a pic of my BIL and his EX wife of 2 yrs on my sideboard........really must get round to changing it

Our student part-timer comes in at 11 on Sunday to open. He last saw the store an Thursday evening. He will have to re-shovel the parking lot, and then cope with a made over store as he does the daily inventory review and puts up tags for the sale that starts tomorrow. We have not given him any warning. We are evil. :ph34r:

Good work Peter ;)

......IMO students are fair game.....god knows my first ever boss tried to stitch me up enough times...he never managed it though......*I* outwitted him at every turn ;):lol: ....I mean who's gonna walk into a hardware shop & ask for a dozen ''skyhooks'' :rolleyes:

Susie!!!...weak chortling with feverish brain???

Yes, as a Mum..I can actually confirm that when it hurts to swallow and your ears hurt it means you have a head cold ;) ......if the pain doesn't go soon I'd go to the Dr's all the same :)

I LOVE champagne with pomegranite juice!!!!!!!!!! :P

tom Contributor
Some funnies from me mum:

:lol: love 'em :lol:

"Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?"

I'm gonna start!!!

Did I tell you guys I'm goign to apply to be a part-time floral designer at this new posh place coming in?

Oooooooo! Sounds good!!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
I

Awww...warms the cockles of me 'eart to read that Patti!! :D

:) I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I forgot to mention it, Patti, it's SUCH good news, how great you're feeling, running around, and now, creating your SPA bathroom............ :rolleyes:

Nicola - what are "skyhooks?" :blink:

Okay - MOMS - help me - - see, I started feeling awful last Wednesday, got worse and worse, today is better, I am upright, but glands are still quite painful......ears/throat, still killing me......do I STILL need go to to the doctor? (my own mom says yes) Feeling better - -but still - - in great pain.........

BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :angry:

OMG - guess what - - Stepford is hosting a small gathering at her house in a couple of days - wants me to babysit her dog since he "doesn't do well around more than one or two people" (wretched, ill-mannered, untrained devil dog)......... so she wants him to come here (my answer is no because I am not well and canNOT be responsible for monitoring him).........

but get this - - she is having her solar lights outside replaced and upgraded - - so "no one will trip" - - - OMG - - the distance from the curb to her door? About......eight feet...... :blink: And.....there are street lights here, 'tis not dark......... :lol:<the whole thing amuses me greatly, as you can see>

She's had a handyman there quite a bit........making her already pristine house inordinately perfect, I imagine.......

I can't imagine this will be a FUN event..... :unsure: Her perfection is quite...intimidating.....I wonder if her FRIENDS are that perfect, as well?

Since I have a key, I am thinkig I"ll just barge in and........soil the carpet...... :lol: :lol: :lol:

gawd help me.....been couped up too long.......... :lol:


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jerseyangel Proficient
Did I tell you guys I'm goign to apply to be a part-time floral designer at this new posh place coming in?

Wow! That's great! Good luck :)

Awww...warms the cockles of me 'eart to read that Patti!! :D

Nikki :D

jerseyangel Proficient
Since I have a key, I am thinkig I"ll just barge in and........soil the carpet...... :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol::lol::lol:

About your cold, Susie--if you're getting better, even slowly, then there's probably nothing the doctor can do...on the other hand, if you feel better and then get even sicker--that could be a bacterial infection, secondary to the virus and would require antibiotics.

(Do I listen to myself :blink: )

tom Contributor

Oops double

tom Contributor
Since I have a key, I am thinkig I"ll just barge in and........soil the carpet...... :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol:

And sneak into the bathroom & unroll the TP several laps, write a message there, then carefully re-roll it.

Maybe

H E LP

I'm being held captive

master BR closet

H

E

l

gawd help me.....been couped up too long.......... :lol:

I've been feeling somewhat sedaned lately myself. :P;):D

elye Community Regular
....whilst nowhere near as MAD as Emily I do have a pic of my BIL and his EX wife of 2 yrs on my sideboard........really must get round to changing it

Well, Nikki, You of course know NOT to throw out this pic. You head to the frame department at Tesco's.....

Last summer my sister was over, and she suddenly said, "Ohmygawd! You would not believe this frame I saw at Dollarama yesterday. The printed picture inside it was of a woman's neck and chest, like a mistake pic or something. Anyways, this generic person had on the exact same T-shirt and emerald necklace that I have!!" I looked astounded. :lol::lol:

Yes, Nikki....what are skyhooks? Not a Commonwealth thing...haven't got 'em here, don't think.... :huh:

.....do I STILL need go to to the doctor? (my own mom says yes) Feeling better - -but still - - in great pain.........

Give it until tomorrow, Susie...then I would see the doc. Sorry you're feeling like crap... :(

Since I have a key, I am thinkig I"ll just barge in and........soil the carpet......

:lol::lol: Sounds like you're feeling better already!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
:lol:

And sneak into the bathroom & unroll the TP several laps, write a message there, then carefully re-roll it.

Maybe

H E LP

I'm being held captive

master BR closet

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

this is brilliant beyond belief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, feeling better but certainly not tip-top - - it COULD come back w/ a vengeance if I'm not careful...........

Annie and I are having a wee Super Bowl party. She is in the kitchen, making some wings and some dip of some kind, she told me to stay out. :P

So back to the couch. Making jewelry whilst feigning interest in football-type things. Bah!

Yes, I think my phunny is back. I knew it when I found great amusement in Stepford's goings-on over there. :lol:

<trip on the way to the door......bah ha ha ha ha ha> :lol:

edit - GUYS! :o go read the thread called "bipolar II disorder" - - Rice Guy clearly doesn't believe in antidepressants........but he posted this link and - - I'm not sure what to make of it......but - don't want to engage in conflict so am stepping away from the thread now :blink:

dingy is confused - - :huh:

jerseyangel Proficient
:lol:

And sneak into the bathroom & unroll the TP several laps, write a message there, then carefully re-roll it.

Or leave a double-decker :lol::ph34r:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

you know what made me smile today? I had my first bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs for the season! Boy do I love those little things...mmmm!

tom Contributor
Last summer my sister was over, . .. .

. .. .. .

. .. the exact same T-shirt and emerald necklace that I have!!" I looked astounded. :lol::lol:

:lol:

The uncertainty amongst thoughts of "what an imagination!", "it's real", and "ahhhhh it's real to her" :P only adds to the amusement.

Annie and I are having a wee Super Bowl party. She is in the kitchen, making some wings and some dip of some kind, she told me to stay out. :P

I would take SuperWeasel to be somewhat of a traditionalist.

My money's on Ranch.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
I would take SuperWeasel to be somewhat of a traditionalist.

My money's on Ranch.

:lol:

I can't make out what it is exactly......some ersatz dog-food flavoUred ghoul-ash. :huh: She ate all the wings, though.......now it's just the chips and this stuff she's trying to pass off as dip.

:lol:

elye Community Regular

Susie's phunny's back! Yay!!

How come Gus doesn't ever surprise me with a li'l snack, or an impromptu dinner??! Boy, did I get the wrong breed.....damn poodles.....far too interested in circus tricks...no domestic tendencies....grumble grumble... :angry:

This is likely her way of working through her grief at the loss of Stinker. As my mom used to proclaim, Busy hands and minds keep sadness at bay...or something to this effect. Maybe Annie will start doing some tidying up, too..... :rolleyes:

Green12 Enthusiast
Yes, feeling better but certainly not tip-top - - it COULD come back w/ a vengeance if I'm not careful...........

Annie and I are having a wee Super Bowl party. She is in the kitchen, making some wings and some dip of some kind, she told me to stay out. :P

So back to the couch. Making jewelry whilst feigning interest in football-type things. Bah!

Glad you are feeling better Susie!

I am having a wee Super Bowl party myself, smaller than wee, would that be a wee wee??

I had a whole menu planned and guests coming over but had to cancel because I got vertigo yesterday and am still really dizzy today :o

So it's just me and my spread, Oaxacan Chicken and Avocado Lime Sausce, Spanish Rice, Salad, and Lemon cupcakes.

Come on over everybody!! You'll just have to serve yourself while I lay completely still in order to keep the room from spinning :lol:

Amanda, is Easter candy already out?

My faves are those Resse's Eggs and Hersheys Eggs, not sure if they are gluten-free though?

psawyer Proficient
....I mean who's gonna walk into a hardware shop & ask for a dozen ''skyhooks'' :rolleyes:

They same guy who, after discovering a bolt with a left-hand thread, swallows the bait when told to find the left-handed wrench, er, spanner. :lol:

edit - GUYS! :o go read the thread called "bipolar II disorder" - - Rice Guy clearly doesn't believe in antidepressants........but he posted this link and - - I'm not sure what to make of it......but - don't want to engage in conflict so am stepping away from the thread now :blink:

dingy is confused - - :huh:

I'll go have another look. That thread started out okay.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
This is likely her way of working through her grief at the loss of Stinker. As my mom used to proclaim, Busy hands and minds keep sadness at bay...or something to this effect. Maybe Annie will start doing some tidying up, too..... :rolleyes:

:lol: :lol: oh, one can only hope. I just don't think so, though, she's really very food-driven.....other chores don't seem to interest her. AND, BTW, when she CLAIMS she's making snacks for BOTH of us, she manages to eat them all, every time, before I even KNOW what's been done in there. :lol:

So it's just me and my spread, Oaxacan Chicken and Avocado Lime Sausce, Spanish Rice, Salad, and Lemon cupcakes.

Come on over everybody!! You'll just have to serve yourself while I lay completely still in order to keep the room from spinning

:o

Julie! OMG, vertigo? had that once.....years ago. Took a while to ease up - - at least you can join us on teh computer, though.......mygawd, your snacks sound good! The Weasel and I will be right over!!!!!!!!

OMG - the super bowl is just so..........overwrought and dramatic now, isn't it? :blink: Now the pre-show is about.....half a day long......entire shows about commercials and all kinds of b@#$%$#%.......and did you see how Tom Brady was the ONLY one who ran out without his helmet on? Do you think they told him to do that?

yeah......the bipolar thread......I have pretty strong opinions about my mental health.....NO ONE can tell me how to manage it..........unless he or she has walked in my exact shoes, lo' these 46 years ;)

Annie's eaten all the pre-game and the game snacks. She's such a selfish little hostess. I'm going to send her over to Stepford's with a note tied 'round her neck, asking for more food. I've also asked her to do a butt-scoot on the very lovely cream carpet in her living room....but we've decided to wait on that until JUST before her guests arrive on Tues. night.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Some Easter Candy is out. I did see the Hershey's eggs.

jerseyangel Proficient
Glad you are feeling better Susie!

I am having a wee Super Bowl party myself, smaller than wee, would that be a wee wee??

I had a whole menu planned and guests coming over but had to cancel because I got vertigo yesterday and am still really dizzy today :o

So it's just me and my spread, Oaxacan Chicken and Avocado Lime Sausce, Spanish Rice, Salad, and Lemon cupcakes.

Come on over everybody!! You'll just have to serve yourself while I lay completely still in order to keep the room from spinning :lol:

Julie,

Your wee wee spread sounds delicious! :D

Vertigo....heinous :angry: I had it a couple years ago--I swear it was caused by Previcid. I was on it for about a week (never taken it before) and woke up in the middle of the night and the room seemed to be slanted to one side. I had to hold on to the walls to get to the bathroom. It was scary!

Hope yours passes quickly--until then, take it easy and find a position that doesn't make the room spin--and stay there :D;)

Green12 Enthusiast
Julie! OMG, vertigo? had that once.....years ago. Took a while to ease up - - at least you can join us on teh computer, though.......mygawd, your snacks sound good! The Weasel and I will be right over!!!!!!!!

OMG - the super bowl is just so..........overwrought and dramatic now, isn't it? :blink: Now the pre-show is about.....half a day long......entire shows about commercials and all kinds of b@#$%$#%.......and did you see how Tom Brady was the ONLY one who ran out without his helmet on? Do you think they told him to do that?

lol:

Yeah vertigo, something I hope I never get again.

Just cleared a place on my big comfy couch for you and Annie :) .

My big complaint about the pre show is what in the HECk was Ryan Seacrest and a red carpet doing there?

Some Easter Candy is out. I did see the Hershey's eggs.

YUM. Can't do chocolate anymore, eat some for me!!!!!

Julie,

Your wee wee spread sounds delicious! :D

Vertigo....heinous :angry: I had it a couple years ago--I swear it was caused by Previcid. I was on it for about a week (never taken it before) and woke up in the middle of the night and the room seemed to be slanted to one side. I had to hold on to the walls to get to the bathroom. It was scary!

Hope yours passes quickly--until then, take it easy and find a position that doesn't make the room spin--and stay there :D;)

Thanks Patti.

It is really scary. I thought at first I was having a seizure.

I slept all day yesterday, my head felt like a balloon on top of being so dizzy.

I'm not on any meds to connect it to, I heard there was a virus going around and vertigo is one of the main symptoms so maybe that is it :(

jerseyangel Proficient
Just cleared a place on my big comfy couch for you and Annie :) .

I wanna come too! :)

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      My chest pain has been caused by costochondritis, as well as times when iron supplements has given me such bad bloating it has put pressure on my back and chest, and reflux can do the same. Also, along the lines of Wheatwacked's suggestion above, is it possible you had an injury to your chest/ribs way back that is being set off by either some sort of gastrointestinal bloating/discomfort? I distinctly remember really hurting a rib over forty years ago when I misjudged a wall and thought it was just behind me but in fact it wasn't.  I fell badly against the wall and I think I cracked a rib then.  For some strange reason I didn't tell anyone but I think had I gone to hospital an X-ray would have revealed a fracture. I think that rib has not been right since and I am sure that bloating makes it worse, as well as heavy lifting.
    • Dora77
      Sorry for the long post. I’m 18, and I was diagnosed with celiac disease and type 1 diabetes (T1D). My transglutaminase IgA was >128 U/mL, EMA IgA positive twice, and I’m HLA-DQ2 and DQ8 positive. I’ve been completely asymptomatic since diagnosis, even when I cheated with gluten sometimes in the past and used to eat out(2-5 years ago) I don’t get the typical celiac reactions, which makes it really hard to know when (or if) I’ve been glutened. But for the past year, I’ve been the most strict with my diet, and that’s also when a bunch of new issues started. I eat completely glutenfree, never eat out, dont eat food that says „may contain gluten“.   Current Health Problems • Floating, undigested stools for over a year now. Dont think its related to celiac as it was like this since im 17 and not 13-16( i got diagnosed at 13). • Chronic back pain started gradually, worsens with movement, lots of cracking/popping sounds. Been ongoing for a year now. First noticed in the gym. • Abdominal bulge on the right side, not painful but seems to be getting slightly bigger. Doctor didn’t find a hernia on ultrasound, but it was done lying down (I’ve read those can miss hernias). Noticed it like 6 months ago, couldve been there longer. • extremely dry and mildly swollen hands (this started before I started excessive hand-washing), and bloated face. • Signs of inattentive ADHD (noticed over the past 3 years), now combined with severe OCD focused on contamination and cross-contact. • Growth/puberty seemed to started after going gluten-free. Before that I was not developing. Dont know if any of these are because of celiac as my dad doesnt have those and he is a lot less strict gluten-free then me. I also had pancreatic elastase tested four times: values were 46 (very low), 236, 158, and 306 (normal). Gastroenterologist said one normal value is enough and I don’t have EPI. Family doctor prescribed Kreon anyway (after I pushed for it), and I just started taking 1 capsule (10,000 units) with meals 2 days ago, but couldn‘t see effects yet because I’ve been constipated the last few days. Maybe because of thyroid. I don’t have Hashimoto’s. No thyroid antibodies. But I took levothyroxine for slightly low FT4 levels. My thyroid levels fluctuated between borderline low and low-normal. And recently lowered my dose so that may have caused the constipating. I probably didn’t need it in the first place, and am thinking about stopping it soon.   Current Diet Right now, I only eat a very limited set of “safe” foods I prepare myself: • Gluten-free bread with tuna or cheese • Milk and cornflakes • gluten-free cookies/snacks • Bananas (the only fruit I trust right now) I rarely eat other fruits or vegetables, because I’m scared of contamination. My dad, who also has celiac but doesn’t care about CC, buys fruits, and he might’ve picked them up right after handling gluten bread. That makes me feel unsafe eating them. Even fruit at stores or markets feels risky because so many people with gluten on their hands touch them.   My Home Situation (Shared Kitchen) We’re a family of 5. Only my dad and I have celiac. He eats glutenfree but doesn’t care about CC and sometimes (but rarely) cheats. My mom and siblings eat gluten bread at every meal. My mom is honest (so if i ask her to be cautious, she most likely would try to), but doesn’t seem to understand how serious celiac is. She: • Stopped using gluten flour • only cooks gluten-free meals (but they still heat up gluten bread and also cook gluten noodles) • Keeps separate butter/jam/jars for me • Bought me a stainless steel pan Bu we didn’t replace old wooden utensils, cutting boards, or other pans. The new they bought me pan was even carried home in a shopping bag with gluten bread in it, which triggered my OCD. It also has a rubber handle and I’m scared it might still hold onto gluten. Even if it’s washed well, it’s stored next to other pans that were used for gluten food/bread. Our kitchen table is used for eating gluten bread daily. My mom wipes it but not with soap. I’m scared tiny particles remain. If she made gluten-free bread dough on a board at the table, I’d still worry about cross contmaination contamination even with something under the dough and on the table as at one point the dough would probably touch the table. So I stopped eating anything she makes.   I know OCD is making it worse, but I can’t tell how much of my fear is real and how much is anxiety. Examples: • I wash my hands 20–30 times a day — before eating, after touching anything at home or outside, after using my phone/laptop. • I don’t let others touch my phone, and I’m scared to use my laptop because friends at school or my brother (who eat gluten) have touched it. And it annoys me a lot when others touch my stuff and feels like it got contaminated and is unsafe instantly. • I stopped eating while using my phone or laptop, afraid of invisible gluten being on them. • I wash my hands after opening food packaging (since it was on store cashier belts where gluten food is placed). • I avoid sitting anywhere except my bed or one clean chair. • I won’t shake hands with anyone or walk past people eating gluten. • At school, when switching classes, I wash my hands before getting out my laptop, again before opening it, etc. • I open door knobs with my elbows instead my hands   Job Concerns (Powder Coating, Sandblasting, Etc.) I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
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