The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

Somehow the MINI-SPARE IS FLAT TOO!!!!!

...Crap....What in hell are the chances of that?

He's had the vic for many months, waiting for an actual medical need or . ..

So either he doesn't know himself what brings da funk (to THIS 7:30am-git-fukt-up-asap level???), or just won't say.

While I agree that seems like a reasonable assumption - I've been there in the past too - no other evidence fits.

Funk, shmunk....John has a serious substance abuse problem. I really like your idea of moving out, Tom. Easier said than done, I'm certain...but ya gotta look out for number one, and this situation is not good for you. You may even be inadvertently enabling him somewhat....

Gah! Pardon my supreme UN-silliness!! Just want ya to make it all better, Tom...like the big, scary Wizard behind that curtain.

Bev!! Uncle Ray is back!!

[tom]

Hey Sillies!!!!!? WTH??

Did I get Bev'd (humoUrous bit ignored) on replacing the lyric "if ever a wonderful Wiz there was" w/ "if ever harrumphable biz there was"???

Dang!!! It cracked ME up anyway .. .so I'll settle for that.

I've met someone from the forum. Kassandra is here visiting for a few days.

Whoa how very cool!!!!

L.A. Kassandra is in oh-^high-yo???

(Yipes I'm sure not keeping up on OMG)

I am shocked that you took it this way.....OMG

There's no doubt it was insane of me to not see it for the very minor tweaking it was from the get-go.

I blame the exTREMEly foul mood. In fact, I bet more so than in well over a year.

In hindsight, I shouldn't've even mentioned that I took it wrongly at ALL.

were I to insult or offend you, I"d NOT do it in a public forum, and LEAST of all in the silly thread!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course not!!

No use messin' w/ the current system using PMs, email, telephone, telegram, candygram, absinthegram, etc

<now I'm crackin self up>

Bev!!!!! Uncle Ray & another drink-spittin' guffaw!!! :lol:

[tom]

Funk, shmunk....John has a serious substance abuse problem.

I do think that's an overstatement - one funked Sunday AM notwithstanding.

In 5mos, there was just yesterday & some heavy drinking nights.

Only the wackl absinthe leads to picture-taking.

"Serious substance abuse" affects work & EVERYthing.

Daily . ..or darn close to it.

I know a thing or two about this - not that I'm alone in that.

I'm sure I'm not the only Silly who used to freebase before crack was invented.

I really like your idea of moving out, Tom.

I kinda don't. I DO know where I'd go - same Willow Glen spot as before Phx - and it wouldn't suck, but here is better for many reasons.

We've talked about it, prompted by the impact of leftover cologne. John's basically said, despite that he'd be kinda screwed on double rent, "no hard feelings, if that's what it takes to stay well".

<GAHHHHHH!!!!! I'd MUCH rather just be silly here!!!!!!!!>

[elye]

<GAHHHHHH!!!!! I'd MUCH rather just be silly here!!!!!!!!>

Gotcha. Say no mo-wah......

[tom]

Gotcha. Say no mo-wah......

Oh that was just me feeling like I haven't had good out-n-out SILLY post in too long.

I do welcome all y'all's comments & don't want to discourage any tonight or ever.

[Darn210]

I kinda don't. I DO know where I'd go - same Willow Glen spot as before Phx - and it wouldn't suck, but here is better for many reasons.

We've talked about it, prompted by the impact of leftover cologne. John's basically said, despite that he'd be kinda screwed on double rent, "no hard feelings, if that's what it takes to stay well".

Well, there you go . . . you know where you would go . . . you've got an out if you need it . . . you're a big boy so we'll LET you decide what you want to do.

Welcome back Uncle Ray!!!

and did you guys notice this little note that slipped through . . .

well, I just rented a room to my (2nd) ex, so I'll keep y'all updated on how that goes

Jess!!! Are you moonlighting at a Marriott or did you just say that your ex is now a housemate????

[CarlaB]

Yep, Kassandra is in Ohio! She's exhausted though, took the red-eye.

Bev, funny jokes as usual!

I don't think I need to tell you .... I'm not caught up!

[elye]

Morning, All!!

ORACLE PETER! Are you hearing the same forecasts that I AM? 20 cm of you-know-what overnight tonight, and 40 on the weekend??!!!!

Jess!!! Are you moonlighting at a Marriott or did you just say that your ex is now a housemate????

I did notice this, but it came in under such a flurry of posts, it got lost under my radar....Jess!! What's happening? You cannot allow such intimately personal information to go unannounced in this land. There is some edict on this...right, King Thomas the Tank Engine?

[CarlaB]

Jestgar, I'd ask if you are crazy, but I already know the answer to that! After all, you post on this thread!

[tom]

well, I just rented a room to my (2nd) ex, so I'll keep y'all updated on how that goes

Yes Jess, regular updates sound like a good idea.

Meanwhile, maybe there's a song in this peculiar circumstance.

"All My Exes Live In Te.. . .." grrrrr I got nothin' . .. . ."half my exes make me breakfas' "?? nope that's not it .. . ..

Hi Sillies! Guess what!

My sister and her baby are coming to spend the night, they should be here any moment now. I invited her down for the day tomorrow but she is going to come tonight instead. We are going to get my name changed and then do some shopping!!! so excited!!! talk to you all laters!

Sounds fun!!!

Well, not the name changing bureaucracy.

Could you perhaps add another middle initial for our amusement? Say .. . ...an S for Silly???

Just want ya to make it all better, Tom...like the big, scary Wizard behind that curtain.

I did see a documentary on AMC discussing L. Frank Baum's phirst draUght and subsequent revisions.

Some panelists posited that the reduced list of main characters was, in fact, necessary, tho others found it too drastic.

Besides Lion w/out courage, Tinman w/out a a heart & Scarecrow w/out a brain, there was Celiac w/out a gut, Canuck w/out a pancreas, Smoker w/out a lung, Church-bell-ringer w/out a hump, Eunuch w/out a ding-a-ling, Painter w/out a Phaerie, .. .... dang .. . can't remember the rest .. . ... any help anyone??????????????

Jess!!! Are you moonlighting at a Marriott or did you just say that your ex is now a housemate????

I don't think I need to tell you .... I'm not caught up!

Break out the St. Remy!!!!

I decree 40hrs to be sufficient.

There will be a test on the 5th of tequila March.

....Jess!! What's happening? You cannot allow such intimately personal information to go unannounced in this land. There is some edict on this...right, King Thomas the Tank Engine?

Absolinthely!!!!!!

<just can't think of it right now>

Unable to train my thoughts onto the right track of relevant phrasing.

For some crazy reason <

[CarlaB]

Tom, what's the story behind the avatar?

[tom]

Tom, what's the story behind the avatar?

:lol:

That'll be on the TEST!!!!!!!!

(Ok, once I discovered that Absinthe had become legal again, after close to 100yrs, my roommate searched it out and bought a $60 bottle - tho not the local one, which is the only US producer btw. Anyhoo . .. .he had a LOT that 1st night & ended up asleep on his bathroom floor, as shown.

In moderate amounts, it's quite special, producing an effect unlike any other liquor I've ever had.

I suppose the pic also proves that in beyond-moderate amounts, it can have a unique effect as well)

TRY iT!!!!!! You'll LIKE it!!!!!!!!! :lol:

[tom]

I just started a serious thread <hey .. it can happen!!> and then saw it w/ my Absinthian Destruction av.

Ack!!! It looked SO very wrong there!!!!!!

New one reminds me I should go see some ocean this week.

[Jestgar]

"All My Exes Live In Te.. . .." grrrrr I got nothin' . .. . ."half my exes make me breakfas' "?? nope that's not it .. . ..

so far he just drinks the coffee

he has two jobs and is taking a night class. I have a long commute and several after work volunteer responsibilities. I see him for a couple hours a week usually. seemed like a good way to build up some funds for the next remodel project. and it's my house. If it doesn't work out I still have a place to live :sweet innocent smile:

[DingoGirl]

Sillies.........I have figured out a PART of Kissey's surprise for me.........it came to me whilst walking in the orchard - - 'tis on 4th of July - - I nailed it on the head and he confessed - said if anyone (including me, evidently) nailed it he would send a pm to confirm....... (I got my pm in person, ha)....................and so I guessed it because I HAD in fact told him that the Fourth was my faaaaaaaaaaaaaaavorite holiday, I HAVE to be in the beach or mountains....Weasel has to be there........that's all I know!!!!!!!!!!!

I asked if it was camping and he said..............well, sort of........

now......onto matters of the day...........

It's all FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

...but dear GAAAAAAWD!!!!!.....everything MATCHES!!!!!!!!!.......you can NEVER, I say NEVER see my house (should you ever come to London)

Some might describe my house as 'lived in', 'Eclectic' even but I call it a sh#t hole

an eclectic sh!thole..........those are fun! I've got one too!

Janet - love your new hardware - esp. the fans. I LOATHE those awful ceiling fans - like an epidemic in this hot climate.......gads...........

Uhm..one time I ate them out of the freezeer in 2 days Not allowed to buy them anymore.

OMG - yup - same thing here. They are NOT allowed in teh house any more.....saying a _*sniff* sad goodbye to me peanut butter cookies.....

And there's wacky Uncle Ray again! Yay, he's back!

Hi Sillies! Guess what!

My sister and her baby are coming to spend the night, they should be here any moment now. I invited her down for the day tomorrow but she is going to come tonight instead. We are going to get my name changed and then do some shopping!!! so excited!!! talk to you all laters!

Yay! what fun! And yes, as Tom suggested, add the middle initial S for Silly......ha ha ha

I'm sure I'm not the only Silly who used to freebase before crack was invented.

um.........freebase.........freebase WHAT? Never did done that.....oops I mean - nope never done did that. ........um.......were you freebasing.....absinthe?

BTW I am out of my MIND for the absinthian verb usage.....

and a couple of days ago - David asked me - "what's with the green theme running through here?" oh dear - - - how to explain? we'll start with SNOMIT

and did you guys notice this little note that slipped through . . .

Jess!!! Are you moonlighting at a Marriott or did you just say that your ex is now a housemate????

*snort* I know. what in hell is THIS about?

[DingoGirl]

New one reminds me I should go see some ocean this week.

A serious thread w/ Absinthian "yer just a wormwood poseur" (or whatever it was?)

GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Quite sad you removed it, actually......though......I think when we infiltrate the "normal" threads........"they" can tell.......it seeps through and then - we just lose all credibility.......contaminating other threads w/ our madness......but you know something - - "THEY" can run but THEY CAN"T HIDE (kinda tired and still not got me full Silly)

oh and p.s. - - Tom (et al)........am going to Santa Cruz this Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!! to the big plot of land hidden in the mountains there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and it's my house. If it doesn't work out I still have a place to live :sweet innocent smile:

You devil, you! :diabolical emoticon smiley:

[Crap, we really do need more emoticons - whom do we contact? is it Scott? nope - that didn't work......is it the emoticon company? Is it Bill Gates? Well.......I'm forming a coalition and it's called Silly Celiacs Requesting Excessive And Mad Smileys! or SCREAMS! ]

:lol:

<cracked self up over that one>

[elye]

Meanwhile, maybe there's a song in this peculiar circumstance.

"All My Exes Live In Te.. . .." grrrrr I got nothin' . .. . ."half my exes make me breakfas' "?? nope that's not it .. . ..

Hmmmmm......

Got an ex in ma cellar,

Situation's truly stellar....

Drinks ma coffee, pays some rent,

No sex happening....won't relent!!

Now, I'm assuming you won't, Jess......

Sounds fun!!!

Well, not the name changing bureaucracy.

Could you perhaps add another middle initial for our amusement? Say .. . ...an S for Silly???

This is a great idea. S is not a very funny letter, though. G, on the other hand, is hilarious. You should add this, Amanda.

Besides Lion w/out courage, Tinman w/out a a heart & Scarecrow w/out a brain, there was Celiac w/out a gut, Canuck w/out a pancreas, Smoker w/out a lung, Church-bell-ringer w/out a hump, Eunuch w/out a ding-a-ling, Painter w/out a Phaerie, .. .... dang .. . can't remember the rest .. . ... any help anyone??????????????

OMG.....

Need more info before I add to this list...Is this a Sillyville Lands in Oz combination (Canuck without a pancreas...me...Celiac without a gut...a number of us), or just a general character-missing-something-vital?

Cop without a donut shop...

Amy Winehouse without.....oh, boy, the possibilities. I'll open that one up...

Tom, what's the story behind the avatar?

Gad....you find Tom's interesting...wait till you see Janet's....

In moderate amounts, it's quite special, producing an effect unlike any other liquor I've ever had.

TRY iT!!!!!! You'll LIKE it!!!!!!!!!

Wow....just reading this, I've realized that I MUST get my hands on some of this for our big party ski weekend in the Laurentians. Dunno if it's legal in Canada. Must find out......

BTW I am out of my MIND for the absinthian verb usage.....

And I LOVE it as an adjective....Absinthian....I think we should coin it as a new girl's name. All right, Amanda. Your firstborn girl will be Absinthian G. Something.

[tom]

Sillies.........I have figured out a PART of Kissey's surprise for me......... ..

. .. . ..

I asked if it was camping and he said..............well, sort of........

Aha!!! Nailed the 4th of July!

But .. . .c'mon . .. ..there's MUCH mystery still to be uncovered.

Guessing some sort of camping isn't quite a coup er nuffin .. ..

David's not HERE enough for the guessing game!!!!!

(Bet the skiing was awesome tho!)

........um.......were you freebasing.....absinthe?

Goodness no!!! Absinthe would've been illegal still!!!!!!!!!!

A serious thread w/ Absinthian "yer just a wormwood poseur" (or whatever it was?)

GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Quite sad you removed it, actually......though......

Oh come now .. ...you know the classics aren't gone forever!!!!!!

My serious thread won't be viewed beyond a day or two.

(When do we get Pseu-purrOuizle again? Oh never mind .. .. .current av is pretty great)

(kinda tired and still not got me full Silly)

See below . ..

oh and p.s. - - Tom (et al)........am going to Santa Cruz this Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!! to the big plot of land hidden in the mountains there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woohoo!!!!!!!!

FanTASStic!!!!!!!!

I've been on the road up from sofa-town, but can't recall the name of it.

Have you been in the S.Cruz Mtns before at all????

Hey, I've been collecting restaurant names off yahooceliacbayarea. If you might eat in Santa Cruz itself I can email the 4 or 5 gluten-free-friendly ones (w/ descriptions) I've heard of there.

Well.......I'm forming a coalition and it's called Silly Celiacs Requesting Excessive And Mad Smileys! or SCREAMS!

:lol:

ROFL I LOVE the acronymical comical creations!!!!!!! :lol:

Very well done!!!!!

(Whatcha mean "not got full silly"!!!!??? that's on 1/2 silly?)

This is a great idea. S is not a very funny letter, though. G, on the other hand, is hilarious.

Oh right .. .tell it to my old classmate Hubert Reckshun.

OMG.....

Need more info before I add to this list...Is this a Sillyville Lands in Oz combination (Canuck without a pancreas...me...Celiac without a gut...a number of us), or just a general character-missing-something-vital?

Cop without a donut shop...

Amy Winehouse without.....oh, boy, the possibilities. I'll open that one up...

Any way you look at it's FINE w/ me!!

Wow....just reading this, I've realized that I MUST get my hands on some of this for our big party ski weekend in the Laurentians. Dunno if it's legal in Canada. Must find out......

YES!!!

(And I'm pretty sure it is legal there)

And I LOVE it as an adjective....Absinthian....I think we should coin it as a new girl's name. All right, Amanda. Your firstborn girl will be Absinthian G. Something.

[CarlaB]

So, Tom, that is really a picture of your roommate?

And you can just give me a zero on the test .....

[tom]

So, Tom, that is really a picture of your roommate?

Would I lie to you??

(Ooh that's that old Eurhythmics song w/ the fat crunchy guitar and puh-UNCHY horns!!!!)

P.S. Ok duh, yes I would lie to you if there might be a joke in it - but not lying about Absinthian Destruction.

If you ever get to try some, sipping 1 or 2 or 3 drinks is great (do I hear 4?), while inhaling 8 or 12 is NOT!!!!!!!

[DingoGirl]

Hmmmmm......

Got an ex in ma cellar,

Situation's truly stellar....

Drinks ma coffee, pays some rent,

No sex happening....won't relent!!

And I LOVE it as an adjective....Absinthian....I think we should coin it as a new girl's name. All right, Amanda. Your firstborn girl will be Absinthian G. Something.

Love the jingle.

I think the name, though, w/ the -ian ending sounds too adjectivian. Perhaps Absinthius might be better? or Absinthus? Just a thought..........

OMG - we HAVE to have The Phaerie for our trip to the Laurentians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and oh Ptaum, Oracle of Absinthe - we're passing briefly through Willow GleN on Friday...........what in hell should be do about absinthe? recommendations, please. I seriously am so intrigued by this "different" type of grOeen glow it provides.........

No dining out in Santa Cruz - - we will be deep in the mountains of Davenport. Yes, I've been to the SC mountains many times - spectacular and cozy and lush.

Hey - where's our Patti? anyone seen her?

**************************

Here's some sillies - a few "Only in America's" - - - -

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. (dear gawd - so hideously true )

Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ..

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? *snort*

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

[Jestgar]

Hmmmmm......

Got an ex in ma cellar,

Situation's truly stellar....

Drinks ma coffee, pays some rent,

No sex happening....won't relent!!

Now, I'm assuming you won't, Jess......

He was most distressed to discover that this wasn't part of the rental agreement. Perhaps also distressed to discover what a screaming shrew I can become at 10pm when someone walks into my bedroom.

No little Absynthians coming along here.

Well.......I'm forming a coalition and it's called Silly Celiacs Requesting Excessive And Mad Smileys! or SCREAMS!

:lol:

[Mtndog]

Hallo Sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waz up????????? Sorry, I've been busy F*&ing with Matt Damon (you all Do know about the love pentangle between me, Matt, Ben, Jimmy and Sarah Silverman- don't you?)

...Crap....What in hell are the chances of that?

Bev!! Uncle Ray is back!!

Oh sure...y'all notice when the uncle comes back but Bev herself gets bev'd all the time- Tom and I can slink off together somewhere and have some Beverages.

I'm sure I'm not the only Silly who used to freebase before crack was invented.

<GAHHHHHH!!!!! I'd MUCH rather just be silly here!!!!!!!!>

Stay strong silly Ptaum...I think I used to freebase crayons

Jestgar, I'd ask if you are crazy, but I already know the answer to that! After all, you post on this thread!

:lol:

"All My Exes Live In Te.. . .." grrrrr I got nothin' . .. . ."half my exes make me breakfas' "?? nope that's not it .. . ..

Besides Lion w/out courage, Tinman w/out a a heart & Scarecrow w/out a brain, there was Celiac w/out a gut, Canuck w/out a pancreas, Smoker w/out a lung, Church-bell-ringer w/out a hump, Eunuch w/out a ding-a-ling, Painter w/out a Phaerie, .. .... dang .. . can't remember the rest .. . ... any help anyone??????????????

EUNUCH WITHOUT A DING-A-LING- bahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New one reminds me I should go see some ocean this week.

Oh.......I wanna come!

[Crap, we really do need more emoticons - whom do we contact? is it Scott? nope - that didn't work......is it the emoticon company? Is it Bill Gates? Well.......I'm forming a coalition and it's called Silly Celiacs Requesting Excessive And Mad Smileys! or SCREAMS! ]

:lol:

<cracked self up over that one>

I'm gonna be SCREAMin after this post!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got an ex in ma cellar,

Situation's truly stellar....

Drinks ma coffee, pays some rent,

No sex happening....won't relent!!

Tee hee!!!!!!!!!!

PS. Uhmmm.....I rarely talk about my bizarre body problems on here but uhmmm....having appendix pain and go to doc tomorrow. If it has to come out, they had better give me GOOD drugs....I mean REALLY good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DingoGirl]

PS. Uhmmm.....I rarely talk about my bizarre body problems on here but uhmmm....having appendix pain and go to doc tomorrow. If it has to come out, they had better give me GOOD drugs....I mean REALLY good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

really? seriously? OMG - absolutely LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURVED having appendectomy - was so excited - had never been in hospital and got to stay TWO nights due to complications.............loved it............the whole thing.............. And yes, they DO give you good drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my first experience w/ Darvocet - lots of phun)

(remember I showered, shaved legs, and put on light makeup in jackknifed position that morning as knew the level of pain would require trip to hospital - - appendix nearly bursting, I drove self to walk-in - sobbing - and then to hospital - - quite an entertaining story )

p.s. LOVE the Damon/Affleck/Silverman/Kimmel/Bev madness...............

p.s.s. freebasing crayons - gahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mtndog]

OMG- this just in from Kurt

Open Original Shared Link

This is SO appropos!!!!!!!!! see- we Celiacs DO have an advantage on public transportation!