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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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Mtndog Collaborator
Alex! What a BEAUTIFUL photo! I absolutely love it.

.....Now we want a front view!! :):)

OMGAWD- Alex that photo is GORgeous!!!!!! :wub: :wub: :wub: Yes- full frontal wedding photo soon!

If I sound funny, it's cuz I'm just back from the dentist so there's lingering novocaine or whatever & the gauze over the new hole in me 'ead where a toof was. (Celiac-induced <I'm certain> broken molar :( )

Ptaum- I thought you sounded strange :P Hope you're feeling better today!!!!!!!!!!

No birthing-of-strange-creature dreams for me last night, but a wicked insulin reaction that I barely remember, as I was semi-conscious. Thank gawd, my DH is so well tuned in to all this, and a light sleeper... ...he felt me sweating profusely and shaking, so he performed the drill: grabbed the corn syrup on the night table and squirted some down my throat. There is an appropriate silliness to all this, I promise - -for when I awoke this morning, I had dried corn syrup all in my hair, crusted and hardened into an astonishing bouffant. :o:lol:

This happens on rare occasion, and when it does my hair rather stays like this for a few days, as the syrup is next to impossible to get out. Everyone knows when I approach with wind-tunnel hair.... "Ho! Em had low blood sugar last night!" :lol::rolleyes:

OMgawd- scary but the end result is quite funny!!!!!!!!!! First, I'm glad you're OK. But you must post a photo of your corn syrup bouffant........hey, throw some eggs in there and I bet you could make a mohawk!!!!!!!!

Emily- You especially will enjoy the latest Uncle rayism:

A SPANISH Teacher

Was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance,is feminine:

'la casa.'

'Pencil,'however, is masculine:

'el lapiz..'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer,the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked

to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender

('la computadora'),

because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is

incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending

half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine

('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten

a better model.

The women won :lol:


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elye Community Regular

Gawd, I really need to show the world my sypup-hair - - got quite the response all around this morning. I should capture this (fortunately) rare vision in an av photo... . .

Y'know, I may be onto something. I am always searching for products that will add body and volume to my thin, baby-fine hair. This stuff really does work like no expensive gel, foam or spray I've ever purchased. Why not bottle it, add some fragrance, and market it as a high-end hair product? It's a fabulous idea, I think! Call it "Extracte du Mais", charge $40.00 a vial, claim it is for that stubborn, thin hair that won't stay styled.....

And the bonus that exists in no other competing procuct: The stuff tastes good, if you manage to get some in your mouth. And!! - - if you'tre a thin-haired diabetic, you can pull some out of your style when you have low blood sugar and ingest away. A multi-tasking product... ..... .!

:lol:

Patti!! HEINOUS! I have been cast adrift from the world of Silly a few times with phone line trouble, so I feel your pain... ..hope things are put right post haste, more for the sake of your fridge and freezer foodstuffs. Thank gawd you're all okay. :)

Mtndog Collaborator

Where's Susie- I need her "Hold Me i'm scared". I just posted on another thread for the first time in months :ph34r: :ph34r:

Jestgar Rising Star
Where's Susie- I need her "Hold Me i'm scared". I just posted on another thread for the first time in months :ph34r: :ph34r:

:lol: :lol: very scary, and so much pressure - proper spelling, some expectation of comprehensibility, at least a pretense of knowledge..

You were very brave

elye Community Regular
:lol: very scary, and so much pressure - proper spelling, some expectation of comprehensibility, at least a pretense of knowledge..

You were very brave

Too phunnie.... ..... ..I know how frightening it is to venture boldly out of Sillyville into new thread territory - - I'm also rarely outta here, and when I am I must consciously keep things serious and supportive. Not easy. :lol:

elye Community Regular

:lol::lol:

OMG.......

There is an ongoing thread dealing with type one diabetes, and I've just been reading along. I came very close to divulging my secret hair/insulin reaction product....... .. .

See what I mean? I can no longer remain serious long enough to be supportive and duly helpful to my fellow celiacs/diabetics! :lol::rolleyes:

They'd simply read my post, and think, "Ah, I've heard about this group... . ..We've gotta watch them. I think this same member was posting about anal glands not long ago..." .. .

Jestgar Rising Star
:lol::lol:

OMG.......

There is an ongoing thread dealing with type one diabetes, and I've just been reading along. I came very close to divulging my secret hair/insulin reaction product....... .. .

See what I mean? I can no longer remain serious long enough to be supportive and duly helpful to my fellow celiacs/diabetics! :lol::rolleyes:

They'd simply read my post, and think, "Ah, I've heard about this group... . ..We've gotta watch them. I think this same member was posting about anal glands not long ago..." .. .

um....I would try to avoid mentioning anal glands and hair products in the same post (anywhere but here). Too many easily made, yet inappropriate -and yucky- jumps to conclusions there.


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jerseyangel Proficient

Hey guys!

A drive by....we're back down here for dinner (I brought fruit and other boring safe stuff).

We've heard different scenerios regarding the power, and are now pondering getting a hotel room for the night. It came on briefly at 4PM, and went back out about 10 minutes later.....that electric co. is a real tease! :lol: Would be nice to take a shower....

Carry on Sillies! Talk to ya'll soon! :D

OMGawd!!! Was that Uncle Ray??? :o

elye Community Regular

Patti surfaces! Glad you're managing, Patti... ... .get a hotel!! What an adventure! Just make sure it has w-fi so that you can stay in our loop.... .. ..

um....I would try to avoid mentioning anal glands and hair products in the same post (anywhere but here). Too many easily made, yet inappropriate -and yucky- jumps to conclusions there.

Wait, Jess!!!.... . . you may be onto something, there... . ..

:o:lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast

SILL-EEEEEEEEEEEEZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P

OMG. Kissey has been here for 48 solid hours, called in sick to work today, he is working on heinous phinal projects and such, and I am wondering...............how in hell do you married people get anything done when the other person is just HERE all the time........... :unsure:

Are you sure it wasn't FOUR, as in the number of alcoholic beverages you'd need when it was over.

:lol: :lol: *snicker* Yeah, was FORE the amount of mojitos she needed just to get through?????????

If I sound funny, it's cuz I'm just back from the dentist so there's lingering novocaine or whatever & the gauze over the new hole in me 'ead where a toof was. (Celiac-induced <I'm certain> broken molar )

:o Ptaughoghm!!!!!!!! Heinosity upon heinosity.........hope yer better soon and at LEAST they gave you some good drugs..........

Golf is a nice walk in the outdoors that is ruined by a little white ball.

:lol: :lol: :lol: 'tis indeed - most aggravating sport imaginable - - why do people torture themselves?

-for when I awoke this morning, I had dried corn syrup all in my hair, crusted and hardened into an astonishing bouffant.

:o OMG! A corn-syruped, bouffant do.........'tis somethign, eh? Um.........I think yer onto sumfin' Em........may have to try this for those exceptionally stubborn, listless hair days...... :lol:

No water or electricity since about 8 last night.....I'm down here eating my banana and Lara bar whilst all the food in my fridge goes bad.

And our Patti, in a forumless abyss!!!!!!!! Checkin' in from........where? Whole Foods? what? OMG - a hotel room? hope yer power's back on by now, dear one.......how heinous!!!!!!!! (although 'tis so hot here, a cold shower would not be all taht bad <_< )

ALEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG is that actually YOU?????? Looks like a bridal magazine photo. :) Really lovely and yes we DO need a frontal photo soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMgawd- scary but the end result is quite funny!!!!!!!!!! First, I'm glad you're OK. But you must post a photo of your corn syrup bouffant........hey, throw some eggs in there and I bet you could make a mohawk!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: Our nutty Boev..............and OMG, is that Uncle Ray??????? Man, myth, legend, INDEED!!!!!!!!

Where's Susie- I need her "Hold Me i'm scared". I just posted on another thread for the first time in months

:lol: :lol: *snort*

Right here, sweetie, don't worry, I will hold you and rock you like tiny, tender little baby.......... :lol:

very scary, and so much pressure - proper spelling, some expectation of comprehensibility, at least a pretense of knowledge..

You were very brave

:lol: Yes, vereigh brayve indeed, we have to trye and spOell things korektly and.........trye and seem normal and..............stuph......... :lol: :lol:

elye Community Regular
:lol::lol: Susie said stuph.. . ... .
tom Contributor

Oh jeez the fire season sure started here. Around a dozen today, if we include as far as Stockton & Monterey County.

Susie - I got a little worried for you & Kissey when they said up the hill from Davenport, but it seems to be one by Bonny Doon. I doubt the cabin's that close to a town.

Today's both my brothers' Bday (4 yrs apart btw for any newer sillies). I keep imagining them on my couch, yukkin' it up.

R.I.P. Pat & Pete.

Jaw pretty sore yesterday but not too bad. She (dentist) had to dig a little & got the tooth in 2 pieces. If I'd gotten any good drugs, I would've saved 'em.

Funny syruped head there Em & glad you have a procedure in place.

Hope the power's back soon Patti.

Phorgetting what else .. .. .

elye Community Regular

Ah, Ptaum.......

Thinking about you. And your brothers. I think (I hope) that perhaps they read along..... .. :):wub:

They'd be really yukkin' it up, here, methinks... .. ..

tom Contributor
Gawd, I really need to show the world my sypup-hair - - got quite the response all around this morning. I should capture this (fortunately) rare vision in an av photo... . .

We're WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIITing .. .

Daxin Explorer

Hate to do a drive by, but I am...life has been pseriously busie these last couple o' days.

I finally go accepted to university, and have applied for my first few courses. I can do the whole thing online, so yeah, but it will take 16-20 hours per week of my time.

My dd has been sick all day due to the vaccinations she had yesterday :( :( and we are arguing with my MIL. YEAH!!!

On a happy note, work is going well...for those who may not know, I am an Air Traffic Controller...(fav new avatar to follow. ;))

Well, gotta run....

Green12 Enthusiast

OMG, I just realized I didn't wander in to Sillyville today :o

Ryan, congrats on getting into university. So sorry to hear your daughter is sick from the vaccinations. Air traffic controller? How fun!!!!!

Alex, I love your picture!!!

Patti, that must have been one strong storm, geesh! Hope you can get back to your normal routine very soon.

Tom, you do sound different, I can tell you've had work done on your teeth :lol:

:D <------- Tom's new smile

Emily, heinous blood sugar attack. The corn syrup bouffant I am sure is a great look :lol:

Nikki returns from bonnie Scotland tomorrow I think :D

And where is Amanda? I thought she would be able to post more during jury duty. She's actually posted less on jury duty, what kind of a case is she serving on???

Thanks for the sillies Bev

Susie, rocking Bev like a tiny, tender little baby :lol::lol::lol::lol:

oops, I meant

:lol:

:lol:

:lol:

:lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
No birthing-of-strange-creature dreams for me last night, but a wicked insulin reaction that I barely remember, as I was semi-conscious.

Gawd Em, I didn't read much yesterday, and completely missed this. :o How scary for you--even with the resulting long-lasting retro hair-do! Thank God your husband is so attuned to your reactions and took action. Are you feeling back to normal now?

OMGAWD- Alex that photo is GORgeous!!!!!! :wub: :wub: :wub: Yes- full frontal wedding photo soon!

It is beautiful, Alex--looks like a photo from a magazine :D

They'd simply read my post, and think, "Ah, I've heard about this group... . ..We've gotta watch them. I think this same member was posting about anal glands not long ago..." .. .

:lol: That's our Emily--sense of humOur intact even after such heinousness ;):P

how in hell do you married people get anything done when the other person is just HERE all the time........... :unsure:

:lol: Never really thought about it....

Today's both my brothers' Bday (4 yrs apart btw for any newer sillies). I keep imagining them on my couch, yukkin' it up.

R.I.P. Pat & Pete.

Thinking about you, Pataughm :) What a great picture of you and your sibs! :D

I finally go accepted to university, and have applied for my first few courses. I can do the whole thing online, so yeah, but it will take 16-20 hours per week of my time.

Great news, Ryan! :) Hope things settle down for you soon at home, though.

Nikki returns from bonnie Scotland tomorrow I think :D

That's right--boy, that went fast! Amanda must be embroiled in a big case :D

Well Sillies....we got back from dinner, and while we were getting ready to go to the hotel, the power came back on! :D The refrigerator was a total loss, as far as the food--we had to get rid of 2 big garbage bags full. Mark picked up some dry ice, which helped get the fridge and freezer back up to temperature quickly (it was at 50...)

All in all, coulda been worse! How nice is it to get back to normal :rolleyes: Reading Sillie escapades and such.... :D Can't WAIT to take a shower....it wasn't that we just had cold water--we had no water...our well pump is electric <_< Gotta get used to this country livin' :lol:

elye Community Regular

Mornin' Sillies!

Well, hope today is better electricity-wise (Patti), mouth-wise (Ptaoughmghmn), and blood sugar-wise (moi). All things are fine, here. BS was 4.2 at 6 this morning... ... .this is quite acceptable. :)

Ptaoughmthgm, I think you said that both of your brothers shared their birthdays yesterday. That is something! And both Geminis.... . .now, you must have the mathematical formula for the probability of singleton siblings being born on the same day... . .. certainly not a common occurrence. Something to make them even more special. :)

Julie! It's true, we did NOT hear from you yesterday. Please do not let this happen again.

:huh::lol:

And how is our Amanda doing?

Hair looks a little better - - corn syrup is responding to the heavy-duty shampooing and brushing.... . . must get an av up today if it's gonna happen at all... .. .

Mtndog Collaborator

Yeah- Patti's back!!!!!!!!! A phorumless abyss is quite phrightening (see I CANNOT spell anymoore!!!!!!!)

See what I mean? I can no longer remain serious long enough to be supportive and duly helpful to my fellow celiacs/diabetics! :lol::rolleyes:

They'd simply read my post, and think, "Ah, I've heard about this group... . ..We've gotta watch them. I think this same member was posting about anal glands not long ago..." .. .

:lol:

:lol:

:lol:

:lol:

'Zactly!!!!!!!!!! I am afraid of getting phlamed by someone who is like- Don't listen to that butthead- she'll just try to make you laugh!

Today's both my brothers' Bday (4 yrs apart btw for any newer sillies). I keep imagining them on my couch, yukkin' it up.

R.I.P. Pat & Pete.

Thinking of you and your brothers who are probably peeing their heavenly pants reading this thread over your shoulder!!

Hate to do a drive by, but I am...life has been pseriously busie these last couple o' days.

I finally go accepted to university, and have applied for my first few courses. I can do the whole thing online, so yeah, but it will take 16-20 hours per week of my time.

My dd has been sick all day due to the vaccinations she had yesterday :( :( and we are arguing with my MIL. YEAH!!!

On a happy note, work is going well...for those who may not know, I am an Air Traffic Controller...(fav new avatar to follow. ;))

Well, gotta run....

Hang in there Ryan- I had NO idea you were an air traffic controller- my dad was too! 23 years!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGAWD- just saw funniest GasX commercial- interviewer reading resume says to guy "So, I see you are flatulent in four languages, graduated top of your gas!"

:lol: :lol: My GPA is clearly a 10.0 (Gas Power Average) :P

Ridgewalker Contributor

OK something weird happened last night. I've been really fatigued the past couple days, and went to bed early, around 10 o'clock. I woke up at midnight on the dot, and FLEW out of bed to the bathroom. What occurred next, you don't need details of, but it involved a lot of doubled-over-groaning-abdominal-pain. WTH? I haven't eaten anything risky that I can think of. :( Lucas was having stomach problems yesterday too, and I'm wondering if we've caught a bug or something.

Anyhoo...

Glad you finally have your electricity back, Patti! Oh, and I found out from Mom what brand those papaya supplements are-- they're just GNC brand.

Susie-- the key to getting stuff done when he's around is to realize you don't have to entertain him. ;) Just go do your thang. :lol:

Mtndog Collaborator

Sarah- POOPY COW!!!!!!!!! I hope you feel much more betterer soon!!!!!!!!!

tom Contributor

Great av Alex! :)

Bev - hehe - good to see Uncle Ray. :) His pic makes me think of my paternal grandfather, aka Pop. Quite similar tho Pop had a thinner face. I have a pic somewheres. :) Av coming.

Bummer on all that spoiled food Patti.

Ptaoughmthgm, I think you said that both of your brothers shared their birthdays yesterday. That is something! And both Geminis.... . .now, you must have the mathematical formula for the probability of singleton siblings being born on the same day... . .. certainly not a common occurrence.

And not a difficult formula. Once the 1st is born, it's 1 in 365.24, allowing for leap years.

Ugh Sarah the Midnight toilet Rider. Bet it is a bug. Feel ok today?

jerseyangel Proficient
OMGAWD- just saw funniest GasX commercial- interviewer reading resume says to guy "So, I see you are flatulent in four languages, graduated top of your gas!"

I get a kick out of that commercial and I keep meaning to talk about it here. Sounds like we coulda wrote it :lol:

OK something weird happened last night. I've been really fatigued the past couple days, and went to bed early, around 10 o'clock. I woke up at midnight on the dot, and FLEW out of bed to the bathroom. What occurred next, you don't need details of, but it involved a lot of doubled-over-groaning-abdominal-pain. WTH? I haven't eaten anything risky that I can think of. :( Lucas was having stomach problems yesterday too, and I'm wondering if we've caught a bug or something.

Glad you finally have your electricity back, Patti! Oh, and I found out from Mom what brand those papaya supplements are-- they're just GNC brand.

Could be a bug, Sarah--kinda sounds like it to me. How are you today?

Thanks to you and Mom for the papaya info :D I have a GNC right near here, so I'll check them out soon.

jerseyangel Proficient

Hi Judy!!!!!

:D:D:D

Ridgewalker Contributor

Yup, my stomach is feeling ok today. My back is being a complete BIOTCH, though. :angry: It was already bothering me, and stomach issues (particularly marathon toilet sessions, i.e. poopathons) kill my back. So I'm on the handy dandy ole muskle relaxers today. :rolleyes:

Patti, let me know how you like the papaya pills. Remember to chew them, instead of swallowing whole. They're yummy. :lol:

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I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
    • lmemsm
      I've been making a lot of black bean brownies lately because it's one of the few gluten free dessert recipes that actually tastes palatable.  I've also seen chocolate cake recipes with black beans.  Someone mentioned a cookie recipe using lentils in place of flour.  Just wondering if anyone's run across any tried and true recipes using beans, lentils or peas for desserts?  I've seen a lot of recipes for garbanzo flour but I'm allergic to garbanzo beans/chickpeas.  Was wondering if adzuki or pinto beans might be useful in replacing some or all of the flour in baking.  Since gluten free flours can be crumbly was hoping the beans might help produce a better, less crumbly consistency.  Any recommendations for recipes?  Thanks.
    • lmemsm
      I've seen a lot of recipes for chia pudding, so I decided to make some with chia, water, cocoa and honey.  Didn't like the taste, so I added ground sunflower and ground pumpkin seed to it.  It tasted okay, but came out more like frosting that pudding.  I used to make pudding with tapioca starch, milk powder, water and sugar.  It came out very good but I haven't figured out what to use to replace the milk powder to make it dairy free.  Most starches will work in place of tapioca starch but quantity varies depending on the type of starch.  If I didn't add enough starch to get a pudding consistency, I'd add gelatin as well to fix it.  Avocado and cocoa makes a good dessert with a pudding like consistency.  Unfortunately, I have a bad reaction to avocados.
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