Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Restaurant Made Me Feel Very Uncomfortable

Guest cassidy

By Guest cassidy
in Gluten-Free Restaurants

Recommended Posts

Guest cassidy
Guest cassidy
Posted

I'm a sales rep and my manager spent the day with me yesterday. She always likes to go out to lunch and we sit there and fill out reports and things. I don't eat in restaurants. I have been glutened many times and it just isn't worth it to me so I pack a lunch everyday. She has convinced me that it is ok for me to bring my lunch into the restaurant. I really don't like doing this but we sit there for a few hours and now that I'm pregnant I would starve if I waited to eat. I have brought my own food in about 10 times now. I always explain things to the server and ask if it is ok if I eat my food. No one has ever minded and now I kind of look at it how moms bring food in for their babies and it isn't a big deal.

Yesterday we went to the only nice restaurant in the middle of no where. I am a drug rep so when I bring lunches to doctors in the area I usually get the food from there. We also do dinner programs where we rent out the restaurant and spend thousands of dollars. I asked the server if it was ok if I ate my food and she said it was fine. Then someone else came out and said they could make me gluten-free grilled chicken and veggies. I told her they had glutened me in the past and I really didn't feel comfortable eating anything there. She said they didn't feel comfortable having me bring in my food because if it was contaminated then they would be responsible for it. What kind of an excuse is that?

I was very upset. If I had been with anyone else I would have gotten up and left, but I was with my manager and trying to be professional. My team spends so much money there and I thought they were rude. They certainly didn't get in trouble when they gave me contaminated food and I got sick.

I try not to put myself in situations where I feel uncomfortable having celiac but with my job that is sometimes unavoidable. I got glutened at a meeting I was at on Tuesday. I checked with everyone and they assured me my special meal was gluten-free, but it wasn't. I will never bring food into a restaurant again so I don't know what I'm going to do when she spends the day with me again.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


Guest nini
Guest nini
Posted

Cassidy, I'm sorry you felt uncomfortable. I am reminded of what ALL my therapists have told me over the years whenever my Dr.s sent me there because they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me... anyway...

They said that No one can "make" you feel any way, you "allow" yourself to feel (in this situation) uncomfortable. First and foremost, you are pregnant and have to take care of yourself. Secondly, you have a job to do. You can either starve, risk cross contamination at the restaurants, or take care of yourself and discreetly continue to take your food into these restaurants. I would humbly suggest that you continue to take your food and if someone gives you a hard time, mention the Americans with Disabilities act and remind them over and over and over if they give you a hard time, that you have been made sick in their restaurant in the past and you cannot afford to take the chance again, being pregnant and all, and your bringing your own food in doesn't affect anyone else at all and in fact protects them from liability because they didn't serve it to you.

Budew Rookie
Budew
Posted

That's terrible. I agree with Nini.

I'm a celiac vegetarian with multiple foods in question.

I have the most success if I do order something. I only eat fresh veggies & fruit, steamed or sauted in butter.

I read under the entrees for ideas of individual foods they have I can eat. So far so good.

There is always a bad apple out there. One of the nicest resturants in town, suggested I make a reservation for my guests but I should stay home. We spent our time and money at a more cooperative place. Definately their loss.

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

Nini's right. I would have argued right there in front of my boss ... and I definately would have mentioned the American's with Disabilities Act. You have a RIGHT to bring in your own food. I would have said, "Do you know we spend thousands of dollars on food here each year for our clients? Would you like to accomodate my needs, or shall I take my business elsewhere?"

Do not let people push you around.

brizzo Contributor
brizzo
Posted

If you "have" to eat there. Order a glass of milk and bring some Carnation instant breakfast along. Stir it up , and it's a gluten-free meal in it's self. All flavors of Carnation are gluten-free except the Chocolate Malt. PS... only use the dry powder. The pre-mixed cans are not gluten-free.

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

You know, I was just thinking, next time just order a drink and discreetly eat your food. If you don't make an issue out of it and ask permission, they're less likely to say anything. They might not even notice. If they do notice, then just tell them you have extreme food intolerances and have to eat food you prepare yourself. There is no room for argument there. Mention the ADA if they continue to give you a hard time, but I bet nothing will be said. I've never asked permission before to eat my own food.

jmengert Enthusiast
jmengert
Posted

I agree with what everyone has said so far. I never eat out because I'm extremely sensitive and have been glutened in the past. However, I still go out with my family and "eat out." I bring my own food, and I've never once asked if it's okay, and no one has ever said anything to me. I would just not say anything, and eat your food, and hopefully it will be okay.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


elonwy Enthusiast
elonwy
Posted

I also have brought food to restaurants and functions, and have never asked permission. I just order a drink, if they try to take a food order I say no, and then I bust out my food when other people get theirs and munch away. I might get a wierd look here and there, but other than that I don't have any problems. On the two occasions I was asked why by servers, I said "I'm gluten intolerant and have multiple food allergies and can't eat your food". They responded with wide-eyed "ok"'s and that was that.

That being said, there are restaurants I do go eat at (thier food).

Elonwy

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

The other option is, take some time to teach them how to correctly prepare your food. If you explain that you would like to have a restaurant that you know is safe and you can bring your clients, do catering from, etc, they might be willing to go the extra couple inches in order to keep your business.

Guest cassidy
Guest cassidy
Posted
The other option is, take some time to teach them how to correctly prepare your food. If you explain that you would like to have a restaurant that you know is safe and you can bring your clients, do catering from, etc, they might be willing to go the extra couple inches in order to keep your business.

The time they got me sick I called the day before in the middle of the day and talked to the chef and owner. They said they would make unmarinaded chicken and make me a salad. I'm sure they tried, but they didn't do a good job. If I wanted to eat out, maybe I would keep trying with them but I have no desire to eat their food. I don't want to eat in restaurants because it just doesn't appeal to me. I get too nervous because I have gotten sick many times from restaurants so I can't enjoy the meal. I was about to cry yesterday so I really didn't want to say anything else because I was afraid that I would cry - let's blame that on the pregnancy.

Nini - you are right, no one else can make me feel uncomfortable, I phrased that poorly. I, too, learned that in therapy.

I think it really comes down to just hating my job. I posted last week how they wouldn't let me transfer to an open position much closer to where I live. This restaurant is 100 miles from my house. Then I was glutened at the meeting on Tuesday and it just seems that the only time celiac is a problem is when it comes to my job. I don't ever gluten myself at home.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
I think it really comes down to just hating my job. I posted last week how they wouldn't let me transfer to an open position much closer to where I live. This restaurant is 100 miles from my house. Then I was glutened at the meeting on Tuesday and it just seems that the only time celiac is a problem is when it comes to my job. I don't ever gluten myself at home.

Oh, sorry. I didn't recognize it as an exsasperated rant to blow off enough steam to keep you from doing something you shouldn't do.

I do remember your job post. Have you figured out how you're going to approach it? Change jobs? Threaten lawsuit? Take two weeks off everytime you get sick?

debmidge Rising Star
debmidge
Posted

Order something gluten-free from the menu even if you aren't going to eat it. Have a talk with the manager during a slow period during the day - let him/her know that you are from the company which brings them a lot of business, etc. and that inasmuch as you'd like to order from menu when you go there for lunch/dinner but you are so sensitive and you must be more so now that you are expecting...so if they don't mind, you'll order a coffee/tea but are forced to make this meeting in restaurant with your manager with your own food from home. Lay the problem out on the table and appeal to their sense of compassion.

Sorry to sound contrary but I had to study the ADA for my job a while back. This is what I got from it. If there are attorneys who know more than I do please add or correct what I am stating.

The restaurant is offering to make gluten-free food and that's the "reasonable accomodation" of the Americans With Disabilities Act. But a restaurant does not have to accomodate special diets under this act, nor does it have to allow customers to bring in their own food for any reason. The ADA was instituted more for disabilties which affect limbs (think wheel chairs), it just grew to other disabilities over the years. Now a hospital would be bound by ADA as a patient you have no other place to eat when you are in one. Restaurants aren't looked upon to accomodate for anything more than an access ramp into the place and a handicapped bathroom facility and a table that can accomodate a person in a wheelchair.

As for liability risk for bringing in your own food, as an insurance person I can tell you that it's a gray area. I know that when I had my anniversary party the caterer knew we were bringing in gluten-free bread for my husband only and they wanted to know how much was I bringing in. Then the day of the party they came and looked to make sure it was just for him. So something is afoot with this "liability" issue. They may be suspicious of someone bringing in outside food and then claiming that the restaurant gave them food poisioning when it was an "intentional" food poisioning just to sue them.

It's just unfortunate that the restaurant can't do the gluten-free meal right.

Guest cassidy
Guest cassidy
Posted
Oh, sorry. I didn't recognize it as an exsasperated rant to blow off enough steam to keep you from doing something you shouldn't do.

I do remember your job post. Have you figured out how you're going to approach it? Change jobs? Threaten lawsuit? Take two weeks off everytime you get sick?

I have a lot of vacation time and I am taking at least 1/2 day every week. Next year when my vacation resets I'll probably take 2 half days a week until maternity leave. I was always a high acheiver and now I have decided to do the bare minimum. Other people on my team do just what is necessary so I decided that I can do the same. I go on maternity leave in April and I'm going to take a nice long one and let's just say that will be the end of those problems.

I just had to get through that meeting and those two days with my manager with a good attitude so she wouldn't realize that I was upset about not being able to transfer. She won't be with me again until January or February so I probably only have two more days of trying to figure out how to eat when she goes to restaurants and that will be that.

brendygirl Community Regular
brendygirl
Posted

I'm glad you won't have to meet with this manager too much more, but it is always good to be ready to address future situations like this. We've all been there.

I get good results when I write letters. I'd write a letter to the owner or manager or corporation.

I would also tell YOUR manager that I don't feel comfortable going there and to choose somewhere else.

Another option: Have her order a meal for herself and pick it up from there and take it to your meeting elsewhere.

If she seems uncomfortable with these choices, that gives you the chance to say, "Yeah, I'm sure you're finding out what a pain it is to dine out with me, so maybe we can meet after lunch or another time."

You always have choices.

You can't control the situation but you can control your response

and you can try to prevent future occurrances of it.

Be assertive! You can do it!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. trents
      - trents replied to Leeloff's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      75

      How Come Gluten Didnt Bother Me In Italy

      You state in an earlier post that you don't have celiac disease. Here in this post you state you will "be doing another test". What will this test be looking for? What kind of celiac disease testing have you had done? If you have used a Entero Labs it sounds like you have had stool testing done for celiac disease which is not widely accepted as a valid celiac...
    2. Gigi2025
      - Gigi2025 replied to Leeloff's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      75

      How Come Gluten Didnt Bother Me In Italy

      No, I've not been diagnosed as celiac. Despite Entero Labs being relocated to Switzerland/Greece, I'll be doing another test. After eating wheat products in Greece for 4 weeks, there wasn't any reaction. However, avoiding it here in the states. Thanks everyone for your responses.
    3. Rejoicephd
      - Rejoicephd replied to JulieRe's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      7

      Oral thrush question

      Thank you @JulieRe so much for sharing this extra information. I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better and I hope it keeps moving in that direction. I feel I'm having so many lightbulb moments on this forum just interacting with others who have this condition. I also was diagnosed with gastric reflux maybe about 10 years ago. I was prescribed...
    4. catsrlife
      - catsrlife posted a topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      0

      Patiently Waiting to See Results

      Back at the end of July I got this rash on both of my forearms. It started on my right and continued to the left. It was on the top and side. The rash has bumps that would pop with clear liquid if scratched. They would almost crystalize and scab up. They reminded me of chicken pox. They would scab for weeks and not heal much at all except for the blood clotting...
    5. ElenaM
      - ElenaM posted a topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      0

      I think I am gluten intolerant

      Hello everyone. I am Elena and am 38 years old. I suspect I have a gluten intolerance even if my celiac panel is ok. I have the following symptoms : facial flushing, Red dots not bumps în face, bloating abdominal distension, hair loss, depression anxiety even with meds and even bipolar. Fatigue extreme to the point of not being able to work. All of ...
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,897
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Sgp
    Newest Member
    Sgp
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • trents
      How Come Gluten Didnt Bother Me In Italy

      By trents · Posted

      You state in an earlier post that you don't have celiac disease. Here in this post you state you will "be doing another test". What will this test be looking for? What kind of celiac disease testing have you had done? If you have used a Entero Labs it sounds like you have had stool testing done for celiac disease which is not widely accepted as a valid celiac disease diagnostic testing method. Have you had blood antibody testing for celiac disease done and do you realize that for antibody testing to be valid you must have been eating generous amounts of gluten for a period of weeks/months? 
    • Gigi2025
      How Come Gluten Didnt Bother Me In Italy

      By Gigi2025 · Posted

      No, I've not been diagnosed as celiac.  Despite Entero Labs being relocated to Switzerland/Greece, I'll be doing another test. After eating wheat products in Greece for 4 weeks, there wasn't any reaction.  However, avoiding it here in the states.   Thanks everyone for your responses.  
    • Rejoicephd
      Oral thrush question

      By Rejoicephd · Posted

      Thank you @JulieRe so much for sharing this extra information. I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better and I hope it keeps moving in that direction. I feel I'm having so many lightbulb moments on this forum just interacting with others who have this condition. I also was diagnosed with gastric reflux maybe about 10 years ago. I was prescribed ranitidine for it several years back, which was working to reduce my gastric reflux symptoms but then the FDA took ranitidine off the shelves so I stopped taking it. I had a lot of ups and downs healthwise in and around that time (I suddenly gained 20 pounds, blood pressure went up, depression got worse, and I was diagnosed with OSA). At the time I attributed my change in symptoms to me taking on a new stressful job and didn't think much else about it. They did give me a replacement gastric reflux drug since ranitidine was off the shelves, but when I went on the CPAP for my OSA, the CPAP seemed to correct the gastric reflux problem so I haven't been on any gastric reflux drug treatment for years although I still do have to use a CPAP for my OSA. Anyway that's a long story but just to say… I always feel like I've had a sensitive stomach and had migraines my whole life (which I'm now attributing to having celiac and not knowing it) but I feel my health took a turn for much worse around 2019-2020 (and this decline started before I caught covid for the first time). So I am now wondering based on what you said, if that ranitidine i took could have contributed to the yeast overgrowth, and that the problem has just been worsening ever since. I have distinctly felt that I am dealing with something more than just stress and battling a more fundamental disease process here. I've basically been in and out of different doctor specialties for the past 5 years trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Finally being diagnosed with celiac one year ago, I thought I finally had THE answer but now as I'm still sick, I think it's one of a few answers and that maybe yeast overgrowth is another answer. For me as well, my vitamin deficiencies have persisted even after I went gluten-free (and my TTG antibody levels came down to measurably below the detectable limit on my last blood test). So this issue of not absorbing vitamins well is also something our cases have in common. I'm now working with a nutritionist and taking lots of vitamins and supplements to try and remedy that issue. I hope that you continue to see improvements in working with your naturopath on this. Keep us posted!
    • catsrlife
      Patiently Waiting to See Results

      By catsrlife · Posted

      Back at the end of July I got this rash on both of my forearms. It started on my right and continued to the left. It was on the top and side. The rash has bumps that would pop with clear liquid if scratched. They would almost crystalize and scab up. They reminded me of chicken pox. They would scab for weeks and not heal much at all except for the blood clotting. If the scab was scratched off, it would bleed and bleed until it scabbed up again. The skin has lost its pigment where the scabs are. I figured it was probably either the plant I had trimmed around the 15th or some reaction to the magnesium complex I was taking or an allergic reaction to the asthma meds I was on. I stopped the asthma meds and the magnesium. The rash seemed to get better but when I took the asthma meds it flared up again so I went to the urgent care as my doctor was unavailable. The UC doctor said it probably wasn't the meds and asked about my diet. I said I was strict keto. I usually am, but there is a story around this. I feel amazing on keto. When I eat sugar, wheat, and starchy veggies I feel horrible. Blood sugar goes up, IBS type symptoms, brain fog, etc. But I have a horrible addiction to carbs so I blow it sometimes and after Mom died in 2023, I fell off the wagon. No rashes, just weight gain. I finally went back on keto and then around that time had a piece of pizza (or so, it's hard to stop the carb rush.) So I was strict keto, off and on. She ignored that and prescribed some allergy meds. It didn't go away.  What was happening by then was that the rash was now on my upper elbows, both of them, on the back of my arms. It starts with a very itchy bump, spreads around it and sometimes just burns like crazy and other times just itches. Then it started on the sides of my knees on the oustide, a little bit down the sides of the calves. It's not as bad there as it is on my arms even though it comes and goes (and so does wheat in my diet.) I then got three tiny blisters on each hand, 3 on the insdie of my index finger on the right hand and 3 on the inside of middle finger of my left hand. There is still a little scab there even though it was two weeks ago. No more have appeared on the fingers. But right now the back of the arms above my elbows are starting to itch. At some point I started to think mites from the possum that was sneaking into our house but it's been 3 months and they would be dead already. It wouldn't be from humans because I don't go near any humans although I did take an Uber to the doctor and the bus back. Plus, it's symmetrical. It starts on one side and is almost identical on the other.  I did my DNA with Ancestry and MyHeritage. I don't have the HLA-DQ2 or HLA-DQ8. I do have HLA-DQ2.2. I took the blood test but it was negative. Then again, I don't eat wheat every day. I rarely eat it except for lately when I've been preparing for the blood test if I have to take it again. I don't like to. It makes my joints hurt, gives me brain fog, stomach problems, I sleep in the middle of the day, etc. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow. I hope that she will be more serious about this than the UC doctor was.  So I have no idea. With my luck they'll magically disappear before the doctor appointment. That's what happens with everything.
    • ElenaM
      I think I am gluten intolerant

      By ElenaM · Posted

      Hello everyone. I am Elena and am 38 years old. I suspect I have a gluten intolerance even if my celiac panel is ok. I have the following symptoms : facial flushing, Red dots not bumps în face, bloating abdominal distension, hair loss, depression anxiety even with meds and even bipolar. Fatigue extreme to the point of not being able to work. All of these after I eat gluten. Could I have non celiac gluten sensitivity? Thanks anyone else with these symptoms?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.