Urgent - Any Friends Pls Help

[jerseyangel]

I was just thinking about him this morning--I wonder how he's doing....

[Judyin Philly]

JUST COMING TO CK TOO..

WHEN WAS THE WEDDING AGAIN.?

OVER THE WEEKEND??

PROBABLY JUST CAN'T GET TO A COMPUTER..

LET'S PRAY THAT'S IT.

JUDY

[Mtndog]

Oh God- I don't know how I missed this thread! Lost in my own little world lately. Steve- I'm SO sorry. I hope you're OK, your girlfriend is with you and you are feeling better. Your peeps are getting worried about you!

[gfp]

OK, Im safe home in Paris .....

Steve, I haven't been on the computer today, just found this thread, and I am pretty upset about what's happening to you. I am afraid that your mother did do it on purpose, to prove to you that you're wrong about the 200 ppm not being safe for you. However, since you say it has bad effects on her as well, she may not be rational anyway, and as somebody said, acting like she is stupid. Being your mother, she can't be stupid for real. But the gluten is making her that way.

It is a shame that in the UK the coeliac society and doctors will declare that all celiacs are safe consuming the 200ppm stuff.

Thanks, this is sorta my feeling. Its a terrible thing to say but I think on some level she was trying to priove to me that the 200ppm level is OK.... As I said the night before I found the barley malt ("suitable for coeliacs") <200ppm snacks... and told her she can eat these but they make me ill and she should consider trying without them.

The next morning I actually read the gluten-free bread... label... and #1 was wheat starch. I find it hard to beleive that on all levels my mother didn't know this ... and the part that seems in doubt is what level of consciousness this was on. (In other words was she aware or was this a tiny thing in the back of her head)....

Please just rest, drink lots of water and don't make any plans right now to do anything (other than calling your aunt, so she can let your mother know you are safe).

Thanks Ursula and this is what I actually did,,,, I went quiet because I had no internet access.

Don't bother talking to your brother, he apparently isn't even trying to understand how you feel.

If you knew half of the story !!!! Heck... why not... !! So my brother is gay ... and the only one who never questioned him, who makes the effort to meet his "friends" etc. is me. I am the only one who didn't tell him he should get over it... etc . I just accepted him for who he is.

I know what you mean about the books not being in alphabetical order really bothering you. My autistic tendencies are much stronger when glutened, and that one could happen to me as well (except with me, the books would have to be arranged by size and subject ).

Well it was fiction ... but under normal circumstances I doubt I would have noticed.... the books were a good 15' away.. I just had this bad feeling about them... (OK this sounds silly but like they were looking at me).... I could just feel something wrong about them and they were pretty much at the limit of my vision...

Hi Steve -- I haven't been on the forum much lately, but Karen called me to tell me you're in trouble -- you know us "old-timers" on the board have to stick together!

Oh thanks... and Karen thanks too. Those hugs really help .....

I do wonder if your mother, since she obviously is ingesting a LOT of gluten, even realizes any longer the effects of gluten-contamination. Neurologically she may be STAYING in a gluten-stupor. At that point, she isn't going to either know or understand what is happening to her own body, and will continue to cross-contaminate and/or simply ingest gluten on a regular basis with no regard to it's consequences.

Hmm.... well I managed to get a moderator and het back.... I explained to my mom (an ex smoker from 15 years ago) that the gluten is like tobacco. If she tried a cigarette now she would probably be sick, if she tried a whole packet she would almost definately be sick but she used to smoke a packet a day...

She threw out the codex stuff.... etc.

Anyway....

Wow... talk about withdrawal....

I spent the day after the wedding buying light fittings and door handles etc. and a reading lamp for my mom.

I also bought a printer cart for my father... because he has problems fitting them himself.

I spent half the day buying food and things for my moms house because she was complaining about the lights, the door handles sticking etc.

I get home and start fitting them ... and she throws an absolute temper tantrum. Streaming.. shouting ... etc. about how selfish I am and how she has been in alone all day .....( I went to the DIY store with my father...since Im stopping with mom. )

Anyway, I rushed and broke a bulb.... so I get the whole tirade ... honestly if she wasn't my mom....

Why does gluten cause such anger? I relate totally and find I need to "hide" until the rage and symptoms pass. Is there a mediacal reason for the anger?

Sorry .. Im feeling a bit ....... right now but try a search on exorphin on this board and also google in general. (Wikipedia also has a brief article)

[ravenwoodglass]

Glad everything is over and you are home safe. If you ever feel friendless print out this thread It must be nice to know folks care.

[Mtndog]

i am so glad to see you're back home safe and sound. People REALLY were worried about you! B

[nikki-uk]

OMG Steve!!!

That visit home was sooo stressful for you!!

Glad you made it through and are safely home!

[Canadian Karen]

Whew! Thank God you are back home and okay!!!!

Hugs!

Karen

[jerseyangel]

Steve

I am so happy to come on this morning and see you all in one piece!

[chocolatelover]

Hi Steve,

Also very relieved you're back safe in Paris. We were all very worried that we hadn't heard from you in so many days.

How are you feeling now? It sounds like it was just the trip from hell...I hope you are able to reflect back and find something positive that comes out of it--maybe that your mom finally *truly* realizes just how sensitive you are to gluten. Maybe you have helped her in some strange way. Considering how angry you were at her, I'm amazed that you actually went back to her place at all, and then to help her with the things that she needed...you're a good guy, Steve.

CL

[dlp252]

Glad you are home and safe!

[AndreaB]

Steve,

I'm glad you are home safe and sound.

You went the extra mile for your mother. I'm sorry she was irrate (gluten withdrawal) and glad she threw out the codex stuff. Hopefully she'll keep it out.

[Jestgar]

I'm glad you're back Steve, I was thinking about you.

[gfp]

I hope you are able to reflect back and find something positive that comes out of it--maybe that your mom finally *truly* realizes just how sensitive you are to gluten. Maybe you have helped her in some strange way. Considering how angry you were at her, I'm amazed that you actually went back to her place at all, and then to help her with the things that she needed...you're a good guy, Steve.

CL

Well you can't choose your parents.... and as someone else said, what if its the last time we ever speak?

The funny thing is she hasn't spoken to my father for 4-5 years.... although they have been divorced for 26+ yrs... something happened 4-y yrs ago???

This has made it very difficult to go home, my father is very reasonable and accepts mom will sulk of throw fits if I stop with him...

yet the chance of it being the last time I see him is pretty high each time... he's been through mutliple bypasses, pacemakers and cancer... and to say his prognosios could be better is an understatement....

So my uncle and aunt actually rang me about how to invite my father... since my cousin wanted him present... and we chatted at some length... even my moms sister is avoidiong her because of mood swings and what in a 5 yr olds wouild be called temper tantrums.... when a 64 yr old does them.. what are they called?

I don't know if it was the asking of my father by my aunt or if she is just like this now... but I honestly didn't know what to do/say.... I'm cooking dinner, fixing her concealed lighting u7nder the work surface and also the ceiling etc. etc. she doesn't want to have to reset the video so I have to work on the electricity live ??? (its OK I know what I'm doing but it takes 10x longer) etc. etc. and I'm being selfish???

I actually spent the WHOLE vacation doing stuff for other people with the exception of a single day....I took my camera and took photo's... and my girlfriend also went along with everything.... and my poor father suffered the whole thing as well....

Still now they are actually speaking??? she called me up on the way to the airport all tearful...

Oh well....

[AndreaB]

Steve,

Hugs.

You did everything you could and then some. It always pays to do good even if it isn't appreciated.

I'm sorry you had to deal with all that, the electricity, unbelievable!

[Fiddle-Faddle]

I'm just glad you're home, safe, and healthy! I was getting really worried for a while there.

I wonder--if your mom ever looks back on her tantrums with embarrassment. Maybe you could print out some stuff about neuro celiac and rage? Maybe she'd feel a bit better about it if she could feelthat it is not entirely her fault (blame the gluten!), and then she'd be more likely to stay gluten-free in the future and be more understanding of you to boot!

(Yeah, yeah, I live in a dreamworld!)

Welcme back, anyway.

[gfp]

I'm just glad you're home, safe, and healthy! I was getting really worried for a while there.

I wonder--if your mom ever looks back on her tantrums with embarrassment. Maybe you could print out some stuff about neuro celiac and rage? Maybe she'd feel a bit better about it if she could feel that it is not entirely her fault (blame the gluten!), and then she'd be more likely to stay gluten-free in the future and be more understanding of you to boot!

(Yeah, yeah, I live in a dreamworld!)

Welcme back, anyway.

I guess but its not just me, its everyone she knows....

She has a list of ex-best friends... as long as my arm and now I find even her own sister is avoiding her because of this.

Bear in mind this is the sister looked after my brother and myself when things were tough... and mom was too sick to look after us or when we literally just didn't have enough money for food/electricity etc.

My borther is also avoiding her as well and she gewts very hurt but she never has a good thing to say about anyone... that isn't tempered by some story of something she can't repeat...

I feel she has a lot of my Aspie tendencies but she can't control them anywhere near so well as I do...

It doesn't help that I find it very hard to just apologise when I know I did nothing wrong...

She lives in self imposed exile..in the middle of nowhere ... I actually own her house but nothing is ever OK .(my brother provides cash).. she's complaining that her dishwasher is old... ??? it was a gift from her sister and works perfectly well... my brother just compensates with gifts.. she has a new flat panel TV and satellite etc. she complains she can't afford electricity so I went out and spent over a hundred pounds on low energy bulbs .. for every major light in the house... and a reading lamp with a natural daylight bulb for reading and knitting ... fitted it and wired it in and she complains about the wiring.. (which is behinf the sofa and can't be seen unless you pull out the sofa....) the table is too large... etc. etc.

I'm at my wits end....

She did stop eating the codex stuff and ..... well lets just say I think the withdrawal was what caused her temper swings..

Ah... I dunno what can I do? If I went home more often perhaps but she makes it so hard... since I got rid of my car I have no insurance so I'm pretty much trapped .. a 5 mile walk to the nearest town/village ... she won't visit me because she won't leave her dog...

I think I'm just moaning now... I mean things could be so much worse... at least I still have both parents...

[CarlaB]

Steve, I'm glad you're back and worked things out (sort of) with your mom. Family can be a challenge, for sure ... I'll stop with that comment ...

[Queen Serenity]

Hey,

I'm glad to see you back to your old self! What a relief! I'm glad that you are ok. The boards would be boring if you fell off the side of the planet! Anyway, it's good to hear from you.

Vicki

[jerseyangel]

Steve,

You did the best you could. As odd as this may sound, you and I are in similar situations. There is simply no pleasing some people--no matter how hard you try.

I know this, but it still hurts.

Anyway, like I said, I'm glad you're back

[chocolatelover]

I certainly can empathize...she sounds just like my mother--right down to the "list of ex-friends as long as my arm". She (both my she and your she, apparently) just doesn't get that it might just be her and not the rest of the world ganging up on her. I swear she has gluten issues, from the intestinal to the mood swings and depression, but she won't get tested, so what can I do? I tried for years to talk to her, to write her letters telling her how I feel...she has mostly ignored me. So now I have resigned myself to the fact that she is the way she is and the best I can do is accept her for who she is and try and focus on her good points. Everyone has some, though it may be hard to find sometimes...it sounds like you did what you could for her, despite her 4 year old behavior (I still call it a temper tantrum, even at her age), and for that you can be proud. WE all know and appreciate what you did, even if she didn't.

Thank goodness you live in Paris and she doesn't.

[Nantzie]

Steve - I'm so glad you're back home. Your mom sounds so much like my grandma it's not even funny. I can totally relate.

Hopefully she has realized some things, even if she may not admit anything.

Nancy

[mouse]

I was so glad to finally read this thread and realize that you are safely home. Everyone was indeed worried.

As far as your Mom's temper tantrums. If she stays TOTALLY gluten free, you and her might notice that they will go away. I used to throw some dandies, along with breaking small stuff within reach of the tantrum. As I was losing my temper, I would be mentally telling myself to stop, but there was no way I could. I was so ashamed of my behavior and had no idea it was gluten. Don't have them anymore which is sure nice for my hubby and me. Within 2 weeks of being gluten free, they were almost totally gone and I continued to improve.

[Ursa Major]

Wow, Steve, you had quite the time in England. I am also glad that you are safely back home, and are feeling well again.

And living in a different country from your mother is a good thing when she is consistently unreasonable. It is much easier to hang up the phone on somebody being abusive than walking away (I sure knew about that one when my mother was alive).

[sunshinen]

even my moms sister is avoidiong her because of mood swings and what in a 5 yr olds wouild be called temper tantrums.... when a 64 yr old does them.. what are they called?

Being glutened.

Definitely sounds like ongoing glutening and gluten withdrawal. It's easy to forget or mistrust just how much gluten can affect our heads. Every time I recover from a glutening, it's like a reawakening of "Oh, that was all just from gluten, I forgot it was really THAT bad."

Celiac has a way of isolating people, especially when their loved ones don't realize it's the food acting out. And it's hard on everyone. She's lucky to have you. Keep working at it. But foremost keep yourself safe!