You're Telling Me This Because.....

[phakephur]

So my best friend calls me this morning and the first thing she says is "I've never cared for oatmeal. But I picked up a loaf of oatmeal bread and I don't think I've ever had anything as good."

Well, I'm happy for you. But why don't you share that with someone who can delight with you in the joys of soft, delicious, store-bought bread? You can gorge yourselves silly and then you can both weigh 300 pounds.

[jennyj]

AAARRRGGGGGG! That had to be so frustrating. Like someone telling you " I just had the most delicious chocolate cake with a to die for frosting." Some people just don't use their brain.

[blueeyedmanda]

Some people do not think before they speak. I have starting learning to shrug it off, because if not things tend to drive me up a wall.

[UR Groovy]

If I had a dime for every time ... my sister does this to me all the time at her house - or:

"O M G, this is sooo good - Mmmmmm" - while I'm eating brocolli.

I find myself looking at her like she's an alien - you know that blank stare of quandry. I just can't imagine why they do this. Do they forget? Are they just @$$es? I don't even react anymore. I just really question the humanity.

[TrillumHunter]

Anyone heard this one? "I'd rather die than not be able to eat bread/pasta/cake!" Umm, okay, if that's what you live for.....

[confused]

I hear that all the time, then i get oh im sorry you cant have pizza anymore, but then i just tell them but that is ok cause at least i can coach my sons baseball team now lol

paula

[SunnyDyRain]

  TrillumHunter said:

Anyone heard this one? "I'd rather die than not be able to eat bread/pasta/cake!" Umm, okay, if that's what you live for.....

My best friend said that to me 2 weeks ago. I said "but when it comes to living a long healthy life, wouldn't you rather have that than some pasta?" She replied " I really don't think i'd want to live a life like yours where you need to think about everything you eat and what it has in it. I'd espically wouldn't want to do it longer than I would get to enjoy my food."

I am trying to subley change her diet, her and her husband are convience food freaks. If it don't come out of a box or bag, they rarely eat it. I tried to eat dinner at their house, we managed to have a grilled chicken breast, can of green beans, and carrots. She asked what kind if dressing I liked, but I told her I'd just have oil and vinegar. She didn't have vinegar! They had a small thing of white vinegar... but no red wine, apple cider, or balsamic. They had 20 bottles of salad dressing with 200 ingredients in each... but no basics! I did find one that was gluten and dairy free, a balsamic vinagrette.

[angel-jd1]

  phakephur said:

So my best friend calls me this morning and the first thing she says is "I've never cared for oatmeal. But I picked up a loaf of oatmeal bread and I don't think I've ever had anything as good."

Well, I'm happy for you. But why don't you share that with someone who can delight with you in the joys of soft, delicious, store-bought bread? You can gorge yourselves silly and then you can both weigh 300 pounds.

I try not to let little trivial things like this bother me. I'm sure it could be seen the other way also. I know I get excited when I find a good gluten free product somewhere. I don't keep it to myself. I tell the whole family and act like an excited kid on a sugar high. I am sure there are times when they think " soooo you are telling me this why?" It's not like THEY need gluten-free food

Try to let little things like that roll off your back. Don't sweat the small stuff. Or next time get your "revenge" by bragging about your great gluten free snack you found!! No biggie.

-Jessica

[phakephur]

For the most part I do. I was one of those people who had a lot of anger about the disease and I've made a lot of progress with my rage issues. I'm to the point now where I don't even really listen when people start telling about all their restaurant experiences or the dessert they had. I just roll my inner eye and think "all eating out, all the time."

But somehow this really flipped my switch this morning and I don't know why. It's not like she doesn't have diarrhea. and sometimes vomiting, most of the time after she eats (hello!!!! classic symptom, chica), but she's one of those who would rather have it squirting out of both ends after a trip to Olive Garden than deal with the gluten-free diet.

I know I'm better off physically than she is and I take solace in that. But man, when you find that revelatory life-changing bread, keep it to yourself.

[Teacher1958]

  phakephur said:

So my best friend calls me this morning and the first thing she says is "I've never cared for oatmeal. But I picked up a loaf of oatmeal bread and I don't think I've ever had anything as good."

Well, I'm happy for you. But why don't you share that with someone who can delight with you in the joys of soft, delicious, store-bought bread? You can gorge yourselves silly and then you can both weigh 300 pounds.

My one sister-in-law would say something like that. She has no tact whatsoever. After I had to spend a month in the hospital with premature labor, she told me on more than one occasion that I was so lucky to have had a month to rest before my son was born. That was over eighteen years ago, and I still want to strangle the ----- for saying it. I'm sure it is only a matter of time before she tells me how lucky I am to be on a gluten-free diet. I have these secret (not so secret now) fantasies of smacking her.

[debmidge]

My husband's sister is ignoring her celiac symptoms...refuses to deal with it...in denial, etc. She's also under stress of taking care of their elderly mother (a nursing home would not do a better job, but it would also eliminate the stress of having to be home 24/7. but she does not work & has not in 30 years since she was 25 and has no children.....so you can see that while she's at wit's end taking care of her house-bound mom..she has no other worrries or stress..additionally, taking care of her mom at home was HER idea, I was trying to advise against it). I understand that it's the stress talking but we were at their home visiting and I casually mentioned that we had to leave early (after being there for a few hours) so that my husband could go home and slice his newly made gluten free bread that I made and was on table cooling. She then looks at me and states with an edge to her voice: I wish that slicing bread was all I had to worry about!

She doesn't seem to realize that gluten-free bread is very important to my husband. He has sensitivities other than gluten so his diet is very limited and he looks forward to eating this bread and slicing it and freezing it as fast as possible to prevent getting stale. I wanted to answer her by saying "Yes, I too wish that celiac was all you had to worry about."

[2kids4me]

Let it go....people say and do things that are ignorant - and many times it is done with no malice...In our family - if I were to get upset with people for commenting on what they ate or when they ate, then my friends and family would have to conciously avoid certain topics and not talk about some event for fear of upsetting me. Its not the other persons problem, its not their disease - how are they supposed to censure themselves. Why cant we just be happy for them and that they found something they enjoyed?

With the diabetes and celiac...we also have to eat at specific times - should I be angry when someone mentions they didnt eat supper til 8pm cause they were out shopping and reply " Gee, I cant' do that, I dont have the option to delay supper"..

.or do I choose friends who wont mention sweet desserts or a new ice cream flavour because of the diabetes?

If someone comments they pigged out at a buffet and mention how fabulous it was - I ask them about it and find out what they enjoyed most...I dont tell them that it was inconsiderate for them to mention a buffet and eating all they want - because I can't do that.

and yes people react funny to serious health issues, when a collegue saw me take my insulin...she said " O my god, I could never do that, I hate needles".... so I gently replied, "I dont like needles either, but if I dont do it, I will feel crappy and then I'll die" She asked some questions and it became a discussion about diabetes and management rather than a point of contention between us.

She had the insight to recognize that what she said was "silly" and explained that it is a reaction she has to someone dealing with medical issues,... a weird sort of compliment - in that... "wow, I admire you for doing it so effortlessly, I dont think I would handle it as well as you are".

Do we not talk about a hike we went on if the person we are speaking to is in a wheelchair?

Do we avoid talking about a beautiful scene or what a person is wearing because the person we are speaking to is blind?

Let a converstaion be simply that - share the joy with someone who found a great resaturant and be happy for them.

Usually when we get upset becasue someone mentions some topic, it is because we are still coming to terms with it and are angry at having limitations.

Sandy

[bookbabie]

It's funny but when we go out to eat the waitperson invariably puts the bread basket down in front of me...after I've already handed him my little restaurant card and asked him to speak to the chef! I get a big whiff of that sweet, hot bread scent and then my husband (or an aware friend) snatches the basket away. On the outside I laugh it off, there are worse problems of course, but on the inside I certainly do envy my tablemates who can sit down and eat whatever they want at a restaurant. I started a visualization technique a couple of years ago that helps, when I see wheat laden food I superimpose (in my head) the word POISON over it, it sounds silly but it really did help change how I looked at food

[DarkIvy]

I was recently in a friend's dorm room and my friends were asking me how my gluten-free diet was going. I replied that I was okay with it except that I missed eat pizza, and that I went over to someone's house the night before and everyone was eating pizza smothered in ranch dressing while I sipped a coke. One of the girls in my room, a sorority sister of mine, actually said "oh! That reminds me! I have pizza up in my room!" She then proceeded to walk up to the third floor to get her stupid pizza, then took it back to the room where I was, heated it up in the microwave, and ate it right in front of me.

Some "sister". Grr. At least the night before, my friends had been polite about it and asked if I wanted anything out of the fridge or if it bothered me. I'd planned ahead of time and ate before I even went, so it wasn't that big of a deal. But the fact that I was talking about missing pizza and couldn't eat it, THAT reminds her to go get some of it and eat it right in front of me?! Seriously.

I try not to be "offended" by what people say or eat in front of me... little things happen a lot. I understand that it can be frustrating, and sometimes people are downright rude about it.

Sometimes I've been surprised with really good conversations about celiac/gluten, too. Recently I had my haircut and my hairdresser said she knew a girl who was also getting tested for celiac. Last night I was in Whole Foods buying some gluten-free cookies and the guy behind me in line said "hey, my sister is gluten intolerant. She makes the best gluten-free applesauce cake!" I only wish she'd been there to give me the recipe, lol!

  bookbabie said:

It's funny but when we go out to eat the waitperson invariably puts the bread basket down in front of me...after I've already handed him my little restaurant card and asked him to speak to the chef! I get a big whiff of that sweet, hot bread scent and then my husband (or an aware friend) snatches the basket away. On the outside I laugh it off, there are worse problems of course, but on the inside I certainly do envy my tablemates who can sit down and eat whatever they want at a restaurant. I started a visualization technique a couple of years ago that helps, when I see wheat laden food I superimpose (in my head) the word POISON over it, it sounds silly but it really did help change how I looked at food

Oh man, that happens to me EVERY time I go out these days. I make a big fuss over NO GLUTEN, NOT EVEN A CRUMB, and the first thing they do is wave the bread tray right over my plate and silver wear. I always just thought it would be nice if these restaurants with gluten free options would be nice enough to come up with a gluten free appetizer or snack or something to bring out along with the bread. It's not so much that there is bread on the table that bothers me, but that I'm the only one at the table not eating. I feel like it's a bit awkward and everyone always starts talking about how good it is. If I had my own gluten-free bread or something to snack on, veggies, fruit, anything really, I wouldn't feel left out. I think I may start leaving it on comment cards just as a suggestion.

[Lollipop]

This happens to me all of the time. I am still on the diagnostic diet (its my 5th week) but my family (all except my mom) are terrible about this.

At first (for like the first 2 days) my friends were all super supportive but now they eat my favorite foods that they can in front of me (just that doesn't bother me) and rave about how good it is. This is after I already told them that I couldn't have it but i don't mind if they do (they said, no thats ok i wont in front of you but then five minutes later they started eating it and saying how it is sooooooooo good and you can only get it once a year)

I always have a hard time finding cereal that i like because I always ate cereal like raisin nut bran. now the only gluten free cereal I can find is really sweet and sugary. My brothers and my dad are always leaving my favorite cereals on the table, right in front of where I sit. I've told them about it but they still do it.

My dad is a doctor, but he doesn't understand Celiac as well as my mom or me. When I ask him if he checked what he made for dinner for gluten (which I do with everyone, not just my dad) he gets upset, but sometimes he forgets to check. I also ask him to be careful about cross-contamination, but he gets upset about that too.

I have been trying my best to stand up to him, but sometimes its really hard. I don't think he realizes the seriousness of the disease. I have talked to my mom about it and she is trying to explain it to him but he is reluctant to learn. We think that he probably has Celiac too, and he is being tested as soon as possible. Hopefully this will help him realize how hard it is and how careful you have to be.

just venting,

Becca