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Lost A Good Friend Today

blueeyedmanda

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blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Like some of you know already, I work in a hospital with Cancer Patients. I started here 2 years ago. My very first patient I had I was very close with. He and his wife became almost adopted grandparents. They were both the sweetest and most wonderful people you would have ever wanted to meet. Their hearts were huge. He had lung cancer, which he had battled for about 3 years prior to our meeting. He went onto a clinical trial we had and while on it was when I got to know both of them. Lung Cancer is hard to overcome and most of my patients have it. Our office is divided into different disease sites and I do most lung trials. When our new nurse started in Jan, she met with them and then she would call them once a month to check in. One day she came over and told me she could tell he preferred to talk to me, since he was comfortable with me and he knew me real well. She told me they loved me and just me caring about them was something they remembered about me. I would pop down in clinic to see them at his appointments (his wife always came with him) Even if they hadn't seen me in a few months they would wave me down. It was nice to have that relationship. My nurse told me that relationship is a wonderful thing to have.

In May, his cancer got worse and he came off the study. He and his wife celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in June. No one thought he would make it to see that..but he did.

Now as you guys also know, my fiance John works at my hospital as does the patients daugther. (Both my patient and his wife worked here and have since retired) What can I say its a family place. Their daughter works in an area that John delivers to. Well her parents talked about me and told her I was getting married to John. So one day she introuduced herself and asked John if his fiance worked in Clinical Trials....and she told him how much I meant to them both. At an appointment in July, he told the nurse he was ready to go, he was done fighting and there was nothing else they could do. My nurse was upset, and I was thankful I was not there to see it...it was very emotional and he was crying.

His daughter would always update John and our nurse would still call to check on him even though he was no on the study anymore. About a month ago, we were told he was going downhill....that brings us to today.

I was thinking about the gentleman this morning while getting charts ready for next week. I looked to see if he had any upcoming appointments and then just wondered how he was doing. I was going to call but them I got interupted and walked away and never made the call.

John came to see me for lunch just like any other day. He did tell me he had to talk to me. He mentioned I wouldn't be too happy at the end of it. I figured it meant he didn't get a day off we wanted or something. He started the story saying he went to go deliver to her area and one of her coworkers took him out into the hall and John asked if he had a package that was getting returned, the guy said no...I have a message for you. John thought he did something wrong. It was the complete opposite, The daughter had called in this morning, obviously she was not going to be into work. She wanted to make sure John got the message to me, that her dad had passed away last evening.

As soon as John said, I delivered to the OR today and she wasn't there....I knew what he was going to say. We took a walk and I cried. I know he is in a better place, a place without pain. I always did dread hearing that news. I knew one day it would come too. My nurse is gone to NY, but I will call her later.

I never met their daughter, we only know each other through her parents. It just shows you that made a mark on someones life that they made sure I knew he passed. John said he would take me to the wake when it is held. I would love to meet their daugther.

So, please send some prayers towards their family, even though you never met them. He was a wonderful man.

Thanks :)

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Dandelion Contributor
Dandelion
Posted

I am so sorry. How are you doing?

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Oh Amanda, bless his heart--I'm so sorry.

I'll be thinking about him, his family, you and John.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Oh Amanda, I'm so sorry you have to say goodbye to a friend.

How lucky that you had a chance to know him, and how sad that it couldn't have lasted longer

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted

I'm sorry- ((big hugs))

-Sarah

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
  • Author

I am doing well, I knew it was coming. I also know he had been suffering so knowing he no longer will be makes me real happy. Plus I know he was ready. He has mentally prepared himself. God will take care of him now.

~alex~ Explorer
~alex~
Posted

I'm very sorry. I can tell from your post that you both must have made a mark on each others life. It will be a huge comfort to the family to know that he had a positive effect on the lives of people like you. He will live on in every way he touched you and everyone else in his life. Good people like this man teach people things about life and those lessons last long after the person is physically gone. Life is beautiful like that. I will be praying for his family and friends.

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mama2 Apprentice
mama2
Posted

I am so sorry. my thoughts and prayers are with you and his family.

dlp252 Apprentice
dlp252
Posted

I'm so very sorry!!! What sad news.

Cheri A Contributor
Cheri A
Posted

((Amanda)) I'm so sorry. It's wonderful that you had such a caring relationship with him and his wife. I will say a prayer for his family, and for you and John.

confused Community Regular
confused
Posted

I am so sorry. But like you said God will take very good care of him. He sounds like an really nice fellow. Are you going to go the funeral or anything, or keep in touch of his wife?

paula

Guhlia Rising Star
Guhlia
Posted

He is in God's arms now, Amanda. What a lucky man to have been able to share his life with you. I'm sorry for your loss.

Fiddle-Faddle Community Regular
Fiddle-Faddle
Posted

I am so sorry . How wonderful that you were in each other's lives. I hope the relationship continues with his wife and daughter.

He was very lucky to have such a caring nurse as you.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} and prayers for him, his family--and for you.

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