Stupid Doctor

[~alex~]

I saw a gynecologist last week and it was a very upsetting experience and I can't stop thinking about it.

He was looking at my chart and reading how I have type I diabetes and Celiac and he asked me If I wanted to have my tubes tied. I'm 24!! When I told him I was planning on having children, he said "Well you don't want to pass your diseases on to your kids do you?"

I keep trying to think that he was just an idiot but I can't stop worrying about what he said. Neither of my parents had Celiac or diabetes and I ended up with both and I'd much rather be alive with both conditions than to not exist at all. Diabetes and Celiac aren't the worst things in the world. Of course I wouldn't want my kids to have either but I would cross that bridge when I had to.

I keep trying to tell myself all of these things but I can't stop fixating on the fact that maybe he could be right. I just don't know what to think.

[Guest j_mommy]

WHAT A JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You need to make the decision to have kids on your own WITHOUT having a Dr weigh in!!! Both of these diseases are treatable and not life threatening if you take care of yourself!!!!!!

You are not in the wrong to want childern and your childern may not end up with either disease!!!!

What kind of Dr would say something like that JEEEZ!

[Rachel--24]

Autoimmune diseases require a trigger. As the previous poster mentioned your children may not end up with either of these diseases.

I wouldnt say that Dr. is wrong because the possibility is there....however this should not deter you from having children. I dont think he should have made these comments to you.

I have alot of problems myself...including autoimmune thyroid disease. I've had these discussions with my Dr.'s and *none* of them came at me with such negativity...in fact they were very positive about the whole thing.

Yes...I'm aware that my conditions can be passed onto my children. Yes, I'm doing whatever I can to address my health issues and to reduce the chances.

Nothing is guaranteed but for this Dr. to suggest that you not have children is completely wrong in my opinion.

[Centa]

The decision to have kids belongs to you and your husband; you're the ones who will care for the child and raise her, not the doctor.

I think this doctor is way, way, way out of line.

For one thing, there are a couple kinds of genetic testing that you and your husband could do that will give you more information about the probability of having a child with or without your conditions. Just because you're diabetic doesn't mean your child will be. Look up "genetic testing" in Wikipedia.

Second, if the requirement for giving birth is that the child is perfect, with no genetic weaknesses or illnesses that can crop up, there's a statistically good chance that that doctor's mother should have had her tubes tied...using your doctor's logic. Diabetes is quite a serious illness, but so also are heart disease, strokes, tumors, various intestinal concerns, failing eyesight, Parkinsons, and age-onset problems like Alzheimers. Etc., etc., etc.

Waaay out of line.

Consider that you may have learned something about his attitude toward you, too.

[EBsMom]

I do NOT think that he was right. I think that he was waaaaaaay out of line suggesting something like that. If every one of us that has a genetic difference had our tubes tied, I'm guessing our species would die out. He can't know that you will pass these diseases on - there is, after all, another gene donor involved! Many people *with* celiac genes don't go on to develop celiac disease, right? I can't believe that he would so blithely ask you something like that! I'm feeling outraged on your behalf.

On another note, I never knew that I had these genes to pass on....and now I have two kids who must be gluten free for the rest of their lives. Knowing everything I know, I'd still do everything the same way. Would that bozo doctor have suggested that I should not have reproduced? Arrgh.

I think you need a new Dr.

Please don't let what he said get to you!

Rho

[wowzer]

Alex, That is such an upsetting remark from your doctor. I know it is so frustrating. I now have an ex gynocologist myself, but for a different reason. To make a long story short, I have MRKH (no uterus). I was having problems which ended up being DH. I went in for itching and he said poison ivy. He made the remark to me that I'll never have another patient like you. I was so hurt. He did send me to a specialist, but never even followed up to see how I was doing. Wendy

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Before you fire him, you might communicate to him that it would be better to pass your diseases on to your children than to have one turn out like him.

[aikiducky]

Considering that about 30% of the population has one or two genes for celiac, I guess he's thinking of tube tying on a truly massive scale... :rolleyes:

Pauliina

[TrillumHunter]

Run as fast and far away from this man. None of us is without defect. Don't give him any more of your memory space!

[nikki-uk]

I saw a gynecologist last week and it was a very upsetting experience and I can't stop thinking about it.

He was looking at my chart and reading how I have type I diabetes and Celiac and he asked me If I wanted to have my tubes tied. I'm 24!! When I told him I was planning on having children, he said "Well you don't want to pass your diseases on to your kids do you?"

I keep trying to think that he was just an idiot but I can't stop worrying about what he said. Neither of my parents had Celiac or diabetes and I ended up with both and I'd much rather be alive with both conditions than to not exist at all. Diabetes and Celiac aren't the worst things in the world. Of course I wouldn't want my kids to have either but I would cross that bridge when I had to.

I keep trying to tell myself all of these things but I can't stop fixating on the fact that maybe he could be right. I just don't know what to think.

OH MY GOOD GOD !!!!!

I simply cannot believe that an educated person would say that!

He sounds like a mini Hitler (wanting a 'master race')

I'm sure it makes not one jot of difference to your parents that you have celiac disease + diabetes (other than they probably wish you didn't have to deal with the inconvenience) - and if it should occur in any children you may have - it'll make no difference to you

*shaking head* what an IDIOT!!!!! If it were my doc I would put in a complaint!!!!!

[buffettbride]

When I told him I was planning on having children, he said "Well you don't want to pass your diseases on to your kids do you?"

First of all, tell him at least you can manage childbirth with a high-risk OB specialist. He can't do anything to keep from passing the a$$hole gene to his kids. Then, fire his sorry butt and find yourself an OB practice you feel comfortable with and has experience with high-risk pregnancies.

What a schmuck. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Here is a helpful blog by a person who has T1 and Celiac AND a healthy baby girl!

Open Original Shared Link

[~alex~]

I'm glad everyone else was equally appalled by his comments. I thought I was just be oversensitive. I was able to talk to my GP who referred me to him and she was equally horrified and extremely apologetic. She wanted a second opinion about something and so she sent me to him because he is new in town and I would get in to see him quickest. She assured me she will never refer one of her patients to him again so I feel that at least something good came out of the experience.

I'm hoping in time I'll be able to laugh about the experience and stop letting what he said sew doubt into my mind.

[CarlaB]

What a JERK!

As you said, it's better to exist with challenges than to not exist at all! Don't let this sow doubt in your mind. Ask that other organization we discussed for a recommendation for a doctor in your area.

[tallfran]

My dad was Type 1 diabetes, though in his early 30's when he developed it. I suspect that he was also celiac. However. I was born about 2 years after he became diabetic. As I was growing up, he always said that he just hoped he lived long enough to see my sister (1 year older than me) and I graduate from high school. He died about 5 years ago at the age of 90. He still had functioning kidneys, eyes, brain, and both feet at the time of his death. He was a heavy smoker and died of complications of COPD. I'm glad nobody wanted to sterilize him when he was diagnosed, cause I'm glad to be here, in spite of some health issues.

I have a feeling what the docter was trying to do was to check to see if you wanted your tubes tied, because some women in your position would, knowing the complications to both mom and baby that diabetes can cause, and thinking that you would not bring it up because to do a tubal ligation on a woman your age with no children would not be something that a lot of docters would do, even if the woman wanted it desperately. If he is a new doc, when you said you wanted children, he didn't know what to say and so stuck his foot in his mouth and crammed it down his throat.

Even so, I'd find another GYN!

Fran

[2kids4me]

He had no right to promote a permanent procedure such as a tubal. I have had Type 1 diabetes since 1986. In 1992 I had a girl and in 1994, I had a boy. Pregnancies went very well, I was induced at 36 weeks both times and delivered naturally.

I had a tubal done after #2 as a personal choice. Key word - choice that my husband and I made.

Once I indicated that I wuld like to start a family...this is how a doctor set it up...first it is a planned pregnancy with a discussion beforehand about management and risk factors for a Type 1 diabetic mom, then I was managed by a high risk pregnancy doctor.

No one knows what will or will not show up in your kids. Having babies is a chance for anyone - lots of healthy moms give birth to children facing medical challenges, and many moms with medical conditons give birth to healthy babies that remain healthy.

There was no history of diabetes or immune illness in my family - yet here I am with diabetes and kids with health issues. They are healthier though in comparison to classmates, live a full life and will be amazing adults.

Your doctor should not have brought up a tubal unless you had asked about it, he should have set up referrals to a doctor who could guide you and help you plan your future as a mom and make an informed decision. If he had concern about something being passed on....he should have also set you up with a genetic counsellor.

I think this guy watched too many sci fi movies about selective breeding ....

**minor edits Oct 24**

[lonewolf]

Just want to echo the sentiments that this guy is a jerk.

I have had some health struggles that I worry about my kids facing someday too, but I'm SO glad I had my kids. They are healthy, happy and terrific. Two of them happen to need to be gluten-free, but it in no way has harmed them or made their lives miserable. In fact, I think because we discovered it while they were still at home, they will probably avoid some of the problems that I've had. And if they do get some "disease", they will make it through and be strong. Don't let anyone discourage you from having kids - they are a blessing!

[holiday16]

I can't believe that Dr. said that. I have 3 children one of which was born with a serious heart defect where half his heart is so underdeveloped it's non-functioning. No one ever suggested we not have more children and we were even told to not let this discourage us from having more! They were not able to tell us what caused it and the genetics of it are still being researched. After having 3 children I developed Adenomyosis where one treatment is a hysterectomy and I was advised against it given I was only 25 at the time and this was after I already had 3 children, one with a defect! No one has ever brought up not having more children due to history and if I ever brought it up I was advised I could go through genetic counseling if we were concerned.

Your post made me wonder what my sons perspective (he's 10) was so I asked him a few questions. I asked him if he was going to have kids and he said yes 4 and they were all going to be boys so he can take them fishing. Then I asked if he would be o.k. with it if one of them was born with the same thing he has. He looked a bit confused and then said yes, we could still go fishing and he can play baseball, LOL. Then he got a bit excited and said we could be known as the miracle family )

My husband and I have discussed this ourselves and we sincerely hope that as he's older he doesn't let this stop him from having children. He does have a very high risk of having a child with a heart defect which of course no one wants to have happen, but at the same time from our perspective he would be very blessed.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

You know, the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that you should report that Doctor to every ethics committee in existence in your state, to the newspapers, to the health insrance company, to the local hospitals, to your local news channels, etc.

He was so far out of line, he should lose his license over this.

[Michi8]

As others have said, he was out of line. To suggest tubal ligation as an option is unprofessional and insulting. Not to mention that tubal ligation is a significant procedure that comes with potentially very serious side effects. This doctor needs to be fired by you, and reprimanded by the powers that be.

Michelle

[~alex~]

You know, the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that you should report that Doctor to every ethics committee in existence in your state, to the newspapers, to the health insrance company, to the local hospitals, to your local news channels, etc.

He was so far out of line, he should lose his license over this.

He was a pretty old guy so hopefully retired soon. I feel a lot better after talking to my GP and hearing that she thought he was totally wrong to say that. I'm just trying to forget it and not let it affect me.

I have a great GP and good docs so far so I guess I was due for an idiot like this guy. I certainly wasn't looking forward to going to the gynecologist in the first place and he made it a lot worse. At least he addressed the problem I was referred to him for. I feel very relieved that my GP won't be referring to him anymore. I'd be happy if I could save one of her other patients from this moron.

Thanks everyone for validating my feelings. At first I thought I was just being super-sensitive.

[CaliforniAnne]

I agree with all the posts.

What a jerk!

I am newly diagnosed at the age of 53. (2 weeks ago)

What I read is that breastfeeding is the best gift we can give and could easily delay or reduce the symptoms of celiac or any disease.

I have four healthy children, one expecting his first child, and they were all breastfed and none have the multiple allergies that I suffer from.

Doctors are not trained in nutrition either, healthy eating can give an infant the best start and I believe a better start than we had.

None of these are insurmountable!

[ravenwoodglass]

Your post made me wonder what my sons perspective (he's 10) was so I asked him a few questions. I asked him if he was going to have kids and he said yes 4 and they were all going to be boys so he can take them fishing. Then I asked if he would be o.k. with it if one of them was born with the same thing he has. He looked a bit confused and then said yes, we could still go fishing and he can play baseball, LOL. Then he got a bit excited and said we could be known as the miracle family )

My husband and I have discussed this ourselves and we sincerely hope that as he's older he doesn't let this stop him from having children. He does have a very high risk of having a child with a heart defect which of course no one wants to have happen, but at the same time from our perspective he would be very blessed.

What a very special and wonderful boy. I hope he does have four but one at least should be a girl. You are indeed a blessed family.

[JNBunnie1]

You know, the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that you should report that Doctor to every ethics committee in existence in your state, to the newspapers, to the health insrance company, to the local hospitals, to your local news channels, etc.

He was so far out of line, he should lose his license over this.

I don't think he should lose his license. I think everything else you said should happen and he should watch his practice crumble due to his prejudicial thinking and stupid behavior. His (early, unexpected) retirement should be beset by news institutions picking up on the story and broadcasting nationwide about the new Hitler. Tell everyone on the planet that he thinks more than fifty percent of the population shouldn't be allowed to breed. That'll learn him.