Anyone Unemployed Or Divorced Because Of Celiac?

[jackay]

I haven't been diagnosed with celiac disease but did have a GI test that was positive for gluten among other GI problems. Right now I am trying to avoid gluten and am hoping for the best.

I have not been able to work the past four years because of insomnia, anxiety and depression. I have tried so many antidepressants and anxiety medications. I have been hospitalized several times. Nothing helped. I always felt something was being missed. The medical profession was telling me that I was looking for a magic answer and wasn't going to find it.

So why wasn't I ever getting better? If the problem was just insomnia, depression or anxiety, the medications should have helped. I am hoping that avoiding gluten is my answer. I am feeling less anxious and depressed lately so I hope I am not just reading into avoiding gluten as my magic.

This has been very tough on my self-esteem and marriage (almost 37 years). I feel I am just a burdon to my husband. He doesn't complain but I know he would like things to be better. I right now feel I have nothing to give to my marriage. I feel so lousy and tired all the time. I barely make it through the day.

I am thankful my husband is sticking by me even though our marriage isn't what it should be. I can't even sleep in the same room as he does since I get such little sleep. Every noise bothers me. We can't even go places for an evening if I can't have my own room to sleep in.

[CarbQueen]

My ex husband was not very understanding and refused to attend couples counseling.

All of my partners since the separation were patient. understanding and supportive. They also offered to attend couples counseling.

I usually terminated the relationship because I didn't want to be a burden, financially and emotionally. They refused to give up until I stopped contact. Fortunately, I had supportive friends.

2 years ago when my health started to deteriorate, I noticed that some of the flares were caused by contact with my partner. That is when I decided to search for a partner with a similar diet and lifestyle.

I am grateful that I can share the journey with everyone here.

[ktnhsv]

IF I have Celiacs, then yes, I divorced over it and lost several jobs because of my poor health, depression, pain, anxiety. My current husband could care less if I feel good or not, he won't even take the time to read about it.

[tennyl]

Hi, New here.. I had to leave my job as a shampoo assistant. A job I loved with people that I loved even more.. I had such a bad rash on my hands and arms up to my elbows.. I was sick everyday at work. As I am learning more about this disease, I see it was from eating the pizza and lunches we ordered every day.. I was getting sicker and sicker eventually going to my Dr and getting lab work done .. She had never seen such a low saturation level beforeand sent me to see a hemotologist who diagnosed me with celiac disease. Looking back I see how my boss and manager would coment on how many days I called out sick or had to go sit after eating.. I am sad to have lost my job and of course the money .. But my health is more importand and I am blessed with a nuturing understang husband..

Thanks,

Lynnet

[Sara T]

I've felt everyones pain. I've lost jobs and right now, I'm not working till I get better. It sucks. Most of the jobs I've lost are from becoming ill, even if it's just a cold. I can't fight of colds or the flu like a normal person and my doctors have pulled me out of work for a week or two because I've been that ill. I'm to the point where I'm hopeless that I'll ever keep a job for more than a year. Though I'm lucky enought to have a wonderful boyfriend who has been by my side for over 3 years who understands and is will to work through things. But being unemployed sucks and doesn't really get u anywhere.

[sandsurfgirl]

I have lost jobs because I simply couldn't put the effort in anymore. I have never been fired, but have always quit at that moment where it was obvious that i could no longer hide the fact i couldn't put in even a modicum of effort.

I used to work as a family law paralegal but had to leave this job when my son was born prematurely at 29 weeks. After his birth my health has gone downhill. I doubt I will ever work in that field again and even the thought of working full time is a mere pipedream to me now.

1st marriage failed due to combination of my depression and what I thought was chroni fatigue syndrome.

My 2nd relationship will most likely fail, we are not far off calling it quits. My partner now has not taken my diagnosis (although only recent) seriously - in fact he has mocked the fact there is even a forum for celiacs. He has taken nothing I've said on board about cross contamination basically insinuating that I am being a drama queen. For the breakdown, it won't be Celiac that caused it, it is simply his uncaring manner. I believe couples could overcome and work with a celiac diagnosis - if both parties want to.

Know what I say? Dump the dog honey. I wasted 3 years of my life with an uncaring man. This was way before being diagnosed. One time my C got so bad I literally could not stand up straight. I needed to go to the ER late at night and he refused to take me. I had to hobble to the car and drive hunched over!! Of course they still did not diagnose me, the moron doctors, but that was the beginning of the end for me. I still stayed a bit longer and really I should have dumped him the next day but i was living with the jerk.

I got healthy emotionally and found a great DH now who is very understanding and has helped me through all of it. There ARE good ones out there and if you have frog send him back to the pond and find a prince.

[sandsurfgirl]

I've had celiac my whole life but only got diagnosed at 40, and it hasn't always presented in GI symptoms. One of the worst symptoms has been chronic infections, mostly bronchial and sinus infections.

I had to give up my dreams of being a professional dancer and doing theater because of my health issues. I became a teacher, but I didn't even pursue being a dance teacher because I knew that it would be too hard to teach 6 or more dance classes per day when I got sick so often.

The stress and anxiety of auditioning and not knowing when I would get work was just too much for me with all the anxiety celiac caused me (unknowingly of course because I was undiagnosed) I wanted to audition to dance on a cruise ship but I just couldn't rely on my health to be strong enough to perform every night.

I did do some professional theater when I was younger and I would always get sick and have to sing or dance with a horrible cough or some awful flu. I had a kissing scene once and I had to have a cough drop in my mouth because my cough was so bad. Poor guy. He was so sweet about it too.

I took up ballroom dancing for fun and met my husband that way. I had to stop taking class for a month or two here and there because I would get some nasty infection and be coughing up a lung all the time. He was doing amateur competitions at the time and I couldn't compete because I couldn't stay healthy long enough.

I never had any relationships break up because of my health per se. They broke up because the guys were just lacking character all around. I think that those of you who have been treated badly by your spouses are just seeing the truth about their lack of character that was eventually bound to come out one way or other.

[jerseyangel]

David, God I am so sorry for all that you've been through. I don't even know what to say about your wife, although many of us find out that people who we thought cared about us can not or will not understand what it is we deal with. Add to that the frustration of even our doctors not being able to help....

I think it was good, in a way, for you get this all out and one thing I can tell you is that the people here understand. I hope that you stick around and that things begin to look up in your life. Have you tried the gluten-free diet? If you've already been tested for Celiac and came up negative you could do a trial to see if it helps.

Please let us know how we can help

[David in Seattle]

David, God I am so sorry for all that you've been through. I don't even know what to say about your wife, although many of us find out that people who we thought cared about us can not or will not understand what it is we deal with. Add to that the frustration of even our doctors not being able to help....

I think it was good, in a way, for you get this all out and one thing I can tell you is that the people here understand. I hope that you stick around and that things begin to look up in your life. Have you tried the gluten-free diet? If you've already been tested for Celiac and came up negative you could do a trial to see if it helps.

Please let us know how we can help

Thanks, Patti. It is good to express one's frustrations to people who can relate. I have been trying no gluten (even the weird little "ingredient" bits), for nearly 3 months, no real improvement yet. Last Saturday, I added dairy, so we'll see how that goes.

I think medicine is a bit like insurance. People who have never attempted to "make a claim" believe they have excellent coverage. It's only once you try to get something out of either one (in my case, 1st the fibro for 30 years, now this) that you realize the emperor has no clothes.

David

[David in Seattle]

I never had any relationships break up because of my health per se. They broke up because the guys were just lacking character all around. I think that those of you who have been treated badly by your spouses are just seeing the truth about their lack of character that was eventually bound to come out one way or other.

I agree completely. I very much miss the person I THOUGHT my wife was, but certainly not the woman she turned out to actually be. Had I a one-shot magic wand, and I could either restore her presence in my life, or my health, well, it's a no-brainer, isn't it?

David

[David in Seattle]

My boyfriend of 5 years does NOT understand this illness, at all.He's accused me of "diagnosing myself online", and has made comments like"well you COULD eat it,you just choose not to".He doesn't understand that I'm still healing,my diet has to be carefully balanced and monitored.There is no help around the house..I'm expected to work 42 hour weeks and still have the energy to clean, and run around all night hanging out.

BK,

He needs to meet my wife. Sadly, they're more the norm than the exception.

"I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world"

I'm not sure who Rick Dees is, but you know what happened to Spalding...

David

[Jestgar]

David, some people just suck. Your life will be better without her.

[sandsurfgirl]

I agree completely. I very much miss the person I THOUGHT my wife was, but certainly not the woman she turned out to actually be. Had I a one-shot magic wand, and I could either restore her presence in my life, or my health, well, it's a no-brainer, isn't it?

David

Isn't it amazing how somebody can put on an act for a length of time? I've had that happen in 2 different relationships, where after 6 months when we started getting really serious, it was Jekyll and Hyde. I had a therapist tell me "Honey you could fall in love with Jack the Ripper by accident because when he wasn't killing people he was quite charismatic."

[David in Seattle]

Isn't it amazing how somebody can put on an act for a length of time? I've had that happen in 2 different relationships, where after 6 months when we started getting really serious, it was Jekyll and Hyde. I had a therapist tell me "Honey you could fall in love with Jack the Ripper by accident because when he wasn't killing people he was quite charismatic."

Putting on an act? The woman should get an academy award. If she was miserable the 1st 8 years of our life together, all the memories (not to mention photos) I have of her smiling and laughing sure would seem to suggest otherwise. But if she was truly unhappy for all or even just a significant part of that time, and said nothing, nor made any efforts to bring about change (both of which are the case) then that isn't a performance, it's a mental disorder. If you want to be in a quasi-committed relationship, but still want to be free to split as soon as a challenge arises, then live with the person. Marriage is a higher level of obligation, or at least SHOULD BE.

[sandsurfgirl]

Putting on an act? The woman should get an academy award. If she was miserable the 1st 8 years of our life together, all the memories (not to mention photos) I have of her smiling and laughing sure would seem to suggest otherwise. But if she was truly unhappy for all or even just a significant part of that time, and said nothing, nor made any efforts to bring about change (both of which are the case) then that isn't a performance, it's a mental disorder. If you want to be in a quasi-committed relationship, but still want to be free to split as soon as a challenge arises, then live with the person. Marriage is a higher level of obligation, or at least SHOULD BE.

Unbelievable. So your marriage was going well and then as soon as things got tough she left? What a rotten person. Shallow. She will never find happiness for any length of time then because there are seasons of life and sometimes things are hard.

My husband and I have weathered some bad storms together. When our son was born, he almost died, was born a month early and his first year was pure hell. Colic, reflux, seizures, doctors, testing, caught every bug around. Then things get better and you get past it.

I have been so sick the past year. But then... got diagnosed and now I'm getting better. Life waxes and wanes. It's like a roller coaster. Ups and downs. She sounds like a really immature person. You're better off.

[rdunbar]

It took me maybe 22 years to find out I had celiac? With no help from doctors, I was self-diagnosed.

Spent thousands of dollars on doctors trying to find out what was wrong with me and never

recieved any answers.. was only told to put this cream on it (DH, also misdiagnosed) or take

pepto bismo for my tummy, etc. I swear, doctors don't know anything. I learned more in a few

hours reading stuff online than I ever was helped by a doctor. Thank God a friend helped me

out by suggesting I might be celiac.. turned out she was right.

And no I haven't divorced anyone or anything because of it. My health has definitely caused relationship

problems though.. at the peak of my illness I was a constipated, bloated, suicidal, anxious, depressed, lunatic with sores

and rashes all over my body. There was a time I really did come close to suicide, I just didn't know

how to live with the pain anymore and NO ONE could help me.. My friends and family would beg me please

be strong and keep trying, and I'd beg them please tell me how to end this pain, I don't want to kill myself

but I can't go on like this. I know it was hard on them, and I know it's dramatic but I really meant it,

gluten makes me completely irrational and really out of control, it's like I can't control what i say or think

and have these horrible dark thoughts. My last boyfriend was with me during the peak of my disease and

there was nothing he could do for me anymore, but sometimes we would have fights because Id constantly be

sick in bed and not want to go out and have fun with him.. I felt bad but the fact that on top of all my pain

my being sick was "such an inconvenience" for others only made me feel I'd be better off dead even more.

I ended up figuring out I had celiac, breaking up with him, and spending this past year single, healing, and finding

myself. Best thing I ever did.

As for jobs.. it's difficult. My last job was at a pizza place, long long ago (haven't worked in over a year now), and I was having major troubles while working there because everything was coated in flour. People even would get into FLOUR FIGHTS (ugh) at work, and there would be flour flying everywhere in the air, going into my mouth and lungs. One time a guy grabbed a handful of flour, threw it at another guy and it missed him and went all over my leg, I went into the bathroom and cried I was so angry and scared. It's just not worth it. It was reversing the progress I was making.. So now, I'm sort of screwed because all of my work experience is at restaurants, I am going to be looking for a restaurant that hopefully can work with my condition (at the very least, allow me to wear gloves while touching the food and not have idiots throwing flour around instead of working).. it's hard though. I'd say celiac has effected my work life more than anything.. there are many jobs I had to turn down because they had employee housing and meals without celiac options.. it's just so depressing.

A 'naturalpath' i saw @3 years ago told me i had a'wheat allergy'almost the minute i walked in the door. I had already been to the dermatolgist about my rashes, the accupuncturist @ 5-6 times, the doctor who asked me what my rash was. everything i had tried yielded no results.I didn't know my chronic depression, irrability, fatigue, painful guts, achiness, brainfog, were related symptoms. i phased out wheat and did'nt get that much better.

I was working as a plumber and get a really really bad staph infection, either from work or from the polluted water surfing in santa cruz. I figured it was best to stop plumbing since my system is too weak to be exposing myself to endless bacteria. I had worked as a chef and a baker when i was younger, so with those skills i got a job catering in SF, i figured it was fine, I don't have to taste everything like i do cheffing in a resturant, and i can request to not have to prepare anything with gluten, fine. Not. just being around bread and pasta, ect... is enough to make me react. I would get super irritable at work, and feel woosey, loose my balance, go to the bathroom every 10 minutes, get screaming headaches.

Now i'm trying to get a job working with some kind of gluten-free catering, but it's funny that the people who offer gluten-free products are in the dark about celiac, and it really sucks presenting yourself as a diseased person at first.

I got super lucky to randomly meet Margeret walsh who told me about celiac, so now i know i can absolutly not expose myself to gluten in any form, I really regret doing those catering jobs for 2 years where i was being exposed. intuitively i knew it was a mistake, but thought i could get away with it.

Its crazy the amount of money and effort i spent trying to figure out what was wrong w/ me going through the obviuos channels and i find the answer beause someone overhears me say i have a "wheat allergy" and chimes in about celiac.

Thank you infinitely margeret!!!

[dilettantesteph]

Thought I'd post here again. I thought things were going to work out after diagnosis. Celiac caused me a lot of problems that caused us a lot of problems. Behavioral, sexual, being too tired to take care of stuff, etc. Things with me are so much better now, but my husband just can't seem to let go of the resentment that he built up over all the years that I was sick. Now he keeps bringing up those things that I did before diagnosis. It's been over 2 years. That sick me isn't the me that I am now. Can't we go forward from here? It seems not. It seems I have to make amends for actions that were caused by my illness. It isn't seeming very promising right now.

[ianm]

Thought I'd post here again. I thought things were going to work out after diagnosis. Celiac caused me a lot of problems that caused us a lot of problems. Behavioral, sexual, being too tired to take care of stuff, etc. Things with me are so much better now, but my husband just can't seem to let go of the resentment that he built up over all the years that I was sick. Now he keeps bringing up those things that I did before diagnosis. It's been over 2 years. That sick me isn't the me that I am now. Can't we go forward from here? It seems not. It seems I have to make amends for actions that were caused by my illness. It isn't seeming very promising right now.

Reverse the genders and that is the story of my former marriage.

[dilettantesteph]

I'm sorry.

[sandsurfgirl]

Why would someone keep bringing up stuff that happened when you were so sick?? I don't get it. I'm so sorry for those of you who have spouses who don't understand.

It's hard on our spouses. My healing period has been rough because my husband has had to work all day long and then come home and help with the kids and house when I'm sick, but he knows it's temporary and we are just doing it and surviving. It's hard on him, but he does what he has to do.

But to be angry at you for being sick is just beyond me.

[ianm]

It's funny, when you get sick you find out real quick who your friends are and it is always the ones you least expect. Some people just suck I guess. Maybe for some people having someone close to them getting sick reminds them of their own mortality and shortcomings. Oh well, what does not kill you makes you stronger.

[Jestgar]

Oh well, what does not kill you makes you stronger.

I've always hated that particular aspect of life.

[ianm]

I've always hated that particular aspect of life.

Don't we all.

[dilettantesteph]

Why would someone keep bringing up stuff that happened when you were so sick?? I don't get it. I'm so sorry for those of you who have spouses who don't understand.

It's hard on our spouses. My healing period has been rough because my husband has had to work all day long and then come home and help with the kids and house when I'm sick, but he knows it's temporary and we are just doing it and surviving. It's hard on him, but he does what he has to do.

But to be angry at you for being sick is just beyond me.

Mine would just yell at me for the house being a mess, the kids misbehaving, his dinner not cooked, and me not ready for action.

[sandsurfgirl]

It's funny, when you get sick you find out real quick who your friends are and it is always the ones you least expect. Some people just suck I guess. Maybe for some people having someone close to them getting sick reminds them of their own mortality and shortcomings. Oh well, what does not kill you makes you stronger.

Yeah I lost my best friend when I got diagnosed a couple of months ago. We met at a mom's group at church. She has always been someone I looked up to and thought I could trust wholeheartedly.

I called her crying on her voicemail and got no phone call. Then after calling her 2 more times I got an email saying that she was praying for me, but then in the same email she said she read about it and it's common and she made light of it like it's no big deal.

I never got a call back from her and didn't hear from her for weeks. Finally I got an email from her about how wonderful her life is and how busy she is with her kids doing all these fun things. She asked about me as an afterthought.

I emailed her back again telling her how sick I am and how it was hard getting through the day with my small kids, etc. Did not hear a word back from her. I tried one more time, and there was some anger in my email, not bad or over the top but pretty honest about how I felt. She told me that my email made her turn away from me. Ummm hello! You turned away from me 2 months ago when I was diagnosed and I needed you.