Supportive People In Your Life

[Hummingbird4]

I was pleasantly surprised last night at my book club meeting. Whoever is hosting that month usually serves some finger food and a dessert. Last night our meeting was at one of our newer member's home, and I expected that there would probably be nothing for me to eat. I'm OK with that, because I figure it's my job to take care of my own food planning, and I don't want people going out of their way to accommodate me. The hostess last night had quite a spread: cheese fondue with fruit and bread to dip (that's definitely off-limits), fruit platter, vegetable platter, puffy pastries (no...), yummy cheeses and sausage with crackers (nope). I was slicing myself some cheese when she suddenly said to me, "I almost forgot the rice crackers!" She had bought some rice crackers just for me. She tucked them in with the other crackers, but I snagged a few that hadn't touched the gluteny stuff.

Then for dessert, she served homemade brownies and ice cream - and had bought me a flourless chocolate cake (from Trader Joe's)! So I had that with my ice cream. She even sent the rest of it home with me. How nice!

And on this topic, my husband and teenage kids (more my daughter, less so with my son) have been incredibly supportive, and also my parents and sister. My sister tested negative for Celiac but is now gluten-free and dairy free on her own accord, and her symptoms have eased, so she completely gets me. She actually has it worse off than I do, because she has the big D when she eats gluten or dairy. I can have dairy, and I never had the "classic" digestive symptoms from gluten.

Do you have supportive people in your life? Let's hear about them!

[curlyfries]

When we go to friend's or family's, my husband grills the host for me.........."Is that spatula clean?.....Did it touch your chicken before my wife's?"....etc. And at Christmas, my SIL shouted that no one could get there food until Lisa got hers first!

[Roda]

I haven't ventured much out of the house yet, but my husband and two boys (8 and 4) are great. My oldest brags about some of my baked goods to his friends by saying they are gluten free. However sweet this information is, it is greek to his little friends. He is always looking out for me by asking can you eat this mommy or my mommy can't have that she has celiac disease. I ate out at Fatz once and the waiter was really understanding and brought out there menu that lists all the major allergens. With a few tweeks to my order I ate and had a good experience. We are going to our first extended family function this month to my inlaws house since my going gluten free. I am really nervous. My mother in law has asked me what I can have and is trying to be supportive. I worry about cross contamination. I plan on taking a few things of my own and going to the store when we get there. I never had any bad gluten reations that I was aware of except heartburn (even with biopsy showing villi blunting) so I have no idea if I would react or not.

[raisin]

My family tries to be, but does tend to assume I'm "over-cautious" too often for comfort. They often inadvertently contaminate me.

To my surprise, rather than treating me like a freak, all of my friends are not only accepting, but downright protective! When going new places, they make sure I bring or can get food, and make a point to keep anyone scarfing breads away from me. They even make a point to use my gluten-free soap before touching me or anything of mine.

[*lee-lee*]

my boyfriends niece is 8 and i explained to her one day that i couldn't eat regular stuff like pizza and cake. she's pretty smart so i explained it was something called gluten. now every single time i see her, she reminds everyone in the room that i can't have gluten! it's adorable and hilarious that she remembered such a strange word and what it means to me!

[harp1]

My friend Jean when we were at a restaurant insisted the waiter check the label on the vegetable oil used to fry the potatoes. He kept saying "it's vegetable oil" and she kept saying, "Does it have soy oil in it?" He finally said yes. How wonderful to have someone else do the work for me. I watched the others at the table eat the potates. Didn't seem to bother me. (I'm allergic to soy) harp1

[lizard00]

My friends and family have all been so great. I've been in restaurants with my mom when I've gone to the bathroom before sitting down, and when I come back there's a gluten-free menu sitting in my chair. My husband has called places before we go to see if they can accomodate us. My son now asks if something will make my tummy sick.

And my friend had us to dinner and made nothing with gluten in it. She even went to whole foods and got a gluten-free pie crust so that I could eat pie with everyone else. They all have seen what gluten does to me, so they are pretty protective of me. It's really great to have strong support.

What a great thread!!

[bigbird16]

Great topic!

My supervisor at work has a friend who's celiac, and she makes gluten-free goodies for her sometimes. Supervisor came into my office the other day and handed me an unopened package of Bob's gluten-free all purpose flour, extra from one of her baking adventures.

My best friend and her family have been awesome. They didn't even blink when I grilled the waiter about ingredients the first time we all went out to dinner together after my telling them about the new lifestyle. Then on New Year's Day, they had me over for dinner. (I'll admit I was worried about CC, because there are always breadcrumbs everywhere when her parents are there.) I brought millet bread to share, and they loved it. The entire meal, made by her dad, didn't have a speck of gluten.

Kat

[Hummingbird4]

I remembered another one: at work we sometimes have potlucks. At the last one we had, a co-worker made a gluten-free pasta salad just for me. I was a little nervous about it with cross-contamination issues, but I did have a little bit with no reactions.

[celiac-mommy]

We've been really lucky that everyone in our lives has been really supportive, even though most don't/can't understand. Everyone seems to go out of their way to make sure the kids have something good to eat, and actually plan their menus around them. What tears at my heart the most though, is when my dd's friends (age 7ish) have a birthday party, playdate etc... they always make sure and tell their moms to "call Maddie's mom to make sure we buy the right things for her to eat" They are all such sweet and sensitive little girls!

[gfwb]

My family has been great. They're still learning, but they are making an effort.

My husband's family is a different story. Thanksgiving was a disaster. When I arrived at Thanksgiving, the first thing out of MIL's mouth was, "I made dressing, I bet you can't eat that." My husband was horrified. She then preceded to point at everything on the table and ask, "Can you eat that? Can you eat that? Can you eat that?" It was like stump the freak time. She is a rude horrible person that I've managed to tolerate for almost three decades. But after having two close encounters with death in two years (one of which was my celiac diagnosis), I decided that life is too short to waste time dreading family events with her. So, at Christmas, I didn't go to the in-laws event.

Don't know what to expect next year--It is supposed to be our turn to host. I figure it is my husband's problem.

[Hummingbird4]

My family has been great. They're still learning, but they are making an effort.

My husband's family is a different story. Thanksgiving was a disaster. When I arrived at Thanksgiving, the first thing out of MIL's mouth was, "I made dressing, I bet you can't eat that." My husband was horrified. She then preceded to point at everything on the table and ask, "Can you eat that? Can you eat that? Can you eat that?" It was like stump the freak time. She is a rude horrible person that I've managed to tolerate for almost three decades. But after having two close encounters with death in two years (one of which was my celiac diagnosis), I decided that life is too short to waste time dreading family events with her. So, at Christmas, I didn't go to the in-laws event.

Don't know what to expect next year--It is supposed to be our turn to host. I figure it is my husband's problem.

I think if you can afford to, you should provide all of the food (gluten-free, of course), and then you don't have to deal with her asking what you can and can't eat. (If she asks if she can bring something, have your husband tell her "no thanks, we have it under control.")

[emcmaster]

My husband.

He's been behind me 1000% since the beginning.

I have supportive friends and all of my coworkers and employees are supportive as well.

But I have to give the biggest props to my husband, as he goes above and beyond supportive. I'm so lucky to have him.

[Jestgar]

My family makes gluten-free food when I go over there, and most of the people at work are very careful to make things I can eat. Yesterday we had a potluck and the woman who brought the cake brought me a bowl of fruit so I'd have something to put my mascarpone espresso topping on. :drool:

[mushroom]

One of the members of my afternoon bridge group always puts out a bowl of nuts, preserved ginger, etc., for me when she brings out the gluteny cake for everyone else.

My husband is very good since he needs to be gluten-free too and does a lot of the shopping, but I always have to read his labels because he will bring me things with soy, or caffeine, and doesn't always understand where gluten lurks.

[dandelionmom]

What a great post! I love hearing about all these supportive people!

My extended family is amazing. Most family holidays and are now completely gluten-free. My parents, sister, and closest friends keep gluten-free foods at their houses for when my daughter and I visit too.

And my husband is amazing. His thoughtfulness constantly amazes me. For Christmas he researched breadmakers and gluten-free recipes and bought me a breadmaker and a box full of ingredients to make gluten-free bread.

[caek-is-a-lie]

My family is awesome. We did a whole gluten-free Christmas dinner and they made sure they asked about everything to get it just right. My boyfriend is also supportive and has even suggested we put our son on a gluten-free diet just in case. He always thinks about what I can eat when he grocery shops (yes he loves buying the food.) My co-workers are also trying to 'get it' and it's starting to sink in. They just accept it and don't make a big deal about it. Considering it's only been a couple of months, I'm impresed.

We had a belated Christmas party yesterday and I brought my own cookies to eat because I knew there would be no gluten-free food. But they totally understood, and when I got Ghiradelli chocolate squares in the gift exchange (which I read at Clan Thompson is now no longer gluten-free,) someone else took them so I could get a non-food present. (I told her how selfless she was for taking them but she really just wanted the chocolate! haha) I'm hoping they'll even keep picking gluten-free restaurants to eat at for birthday lunches. Fingers crossed! lol At the party one of my co-workers was urging people to go eat the home-made goodies and then she remembered I couldn't eat any and was at a loss thinking I couldn't eat anything. I assured I brought Glutino cookies AND peanut M&M's and wouldn't miss out at all. She felt better after that. I'm glad people at work actually care. It's really touching.

EDIT: oh I almost forgot! My sister also researched and found the local pizza parlor makes gluten-free pizza so she's invited me over for a pizza night. And she cleaned out her microwave so crumbs wouldn't fall in my tea. Really going the extra mile there!

[Sweetfudge]

My family has been great. They're still learning, but they are making an effort.

My husband's family is a different story. Thanksgiving was a disaster. When I arrived at Thanksgiving, the first thing out of MIL's mouth was, "I made dressing, I bet you can't eat that." My husband was horrified. She then preceded to point at everything on the table and ask, "Can you eat that? Can you eat that? Can you eat that?" It was like stump the freak time. She is a rude horrible person that I've managed to tolerate for almost three decades. But after having two close encounters with death in two years (one of which was my celiac diagnosis), I decided that life is too short to waste time dreading family events with her. So, at Christmas, I didn't go to the in-laws event.

Don't know what to expect next year--It is supposed to be our turn to host. I figure it is my husband's problem.

I would recommend you bring your own food. My in-laws aren't that bad, but my MIL "forgets" an awful lot (as do her mother and sister whom we frequently eat with). For Thanksgiving and Christmas this year I made my own turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing, gravy and rolls to bring in a tupperware. I even made a gluten-free/DF lemon cream coffeecake to share (which everyone loved). It's just easier that way, less worries for you, and less hassles for the already-busy hostess.

As far as my support team goes, I've got some great people in my life. My husband is awesome about helping me eat gluten-free when we go out. He knows I don't like confrontation and being bossy about my food, so after I order, he will reiterate to the server that I have severe food allergies and can't have any of the food I asked to leave off be on my plate. He will even avoid some of his favorite foods b/c he knows they used to be my favorite foods (like mozzarella sticks)...most of the time

My parents have their hearts in the right place, but since I don't see them much, I can't blame them for not being as familiar w/ my restrictions. My dad and stepmom made this great chinese dinner one night when I was there, and they assured me it was all gluten-free (although I had to skip out on a couple of the dishes b/c the soy sauce wasn't gluten-free...). My mom occasionally makes trips to the health food stores w/ my sister, and when she does, she always sends me a gluten-free care package. Mostly stuff I can get at the HFS's here, but still, it's sweet, and free food is always nice!

My coworkers are really great too. I think it's probably b/c I bring them so many gluten-free goodies! My boss will ask me where we are going when we have an office luncheon. The girls are so funny, they will bring me things like canned fruit or something else obviously gluten-free, because it's gluten-free

I worked at a place when I was first dealing w/ my diagnosis, where no one cared or remembered, and people would even flaunt food in my face (oooh, don't you wish you could eat this donut?). It sucked. I'm so happy with the people I have in my life, b/c they all care about me so much, and want me to be happy and healthy.

[CeliacMom2008]

My son is the Celiac. He's very paranoid about eating anything that isn't prepared by myself, my husband, or my mom. The two times (outside of Disney) that he's eaten at a restaurant there have been issues. So he is just overly cautious. Over Christmas we had two great experiences with the gluten thing.

First, our neighbor had a Christmas party and she bought a HUGE tray of gluten free cookies and cupcakes for him (literally, there were 18 gluten-free cookies and 12 cupcakes for one little boy!). They were from an excellent bakery near us and were wonderful. She sent the left over 16 cookies and 11 cupcakes home with us. My son was thrilled to get them - and she even kept them in her office (away from the other food) so that he would be completely comfortable!

Second, my aunt wanted to have us over for Christmas dinner. She wanted to know what she could make. My mom knew my son wouldn't eat at her house, so she explained we'd come but not to worry about the gluten-free that I'd bring something for him. My aunt didn't like that idea. Instead she asked if she could come over to my mom's house and make dinner (with gluten-free food and my mom's gluten-free pans and utensils). So Mom and I got the break from continuous cooking, our whole family got some variety, I learned that a crockpot is a GREAT way to make a turkey breast, and we had a wonderful time!

I guess there were 3 great experiences, we also had a friend who invited our family over. She's a close friend and knows my son won't eat elsewhere, so she let me bring a lasagna for everyone and then she made fresh veggies and fruit and veggies cooked in a glass pan in the oven (which my son approved as an OK way to cook). It was a nice way for him to ease into letting others cook for him.

We have had so many people be so willing to accomodate not only his diet but his nervousness right now. It's wonderful!

[JNBunnie1]

My best friend's family 'adopted' me long ago, and for Christmas I'll either bring dinner or they'll make something safe. I've gotten so very sensitive that I don't really feel comfortable eating at other people's homes, and they're ok with that. But for christmas dinner, my surrogate dad hauled me into the kitchen, gave me everything he was going to use to make the PRIME RIB ROAST, told me to clean it good enough for me, and made me pick out spices that would be safe, and then watch him do everything. It was so sweet.....

And my best friend, brought me to PF Chang's for the first time, and by the time I got to the table from parking (I was driving) he already had a gluten-free menu for me. He inspected the plates and everything.

But my boyfriend is the absolute best. He never allows anything remotely suspicious in the house, and he is my CHAMPION wherever we go. We invited his grandmother for dinner, and he told her to bring a bag of salad, the kind with no croutons. She really doesn't get it, so she also brought a bag of croutons and he made her put it in the car. He won't buy anything I haven't already bought at the store. He even makes people wash their hands before they wander around in the house. Sigh........

[ryebaby0]

What a nice thread! This fall, friends of ours invited us a small dinner party, and she had obviously "read up" on x-contam. issues and gluten-free food. But still, you don't hope for much. When we got there, ALL the food was "whole food" -- nothing at all he couldn't have, all served in glass, a separate grill covered with foil with a serving of the three protein choices for the night (seafood, steak, chicken) so he could choose whatever (he ate all three, actually). No bread or crackers in the place. Someone commented how lovely the food was and she just smiled and said "yes, fresh and unspoiled is so nice, isn't it?"

My son's friends in marching band always buy munchies at Wegman's for him. Teenagers, in my experience, are much more sensitive and thoughtful than adults!