How Do You Do It?

[mallard]

I am new to this site and I have been diagnosed for 10 years now, scary but I have only been gluten free for about 1 month of this time period. I have a big problem with cheating. My family tortures me by eating gluten containing foods that I both love and miss in front of me! I then find myself sneaking the foods when no one is looking. I know it is bad, makes me sick, gives me acne and makes me a very angry person. But yet I still can't seem to stop. I will no longer go over to any family members house for any food related event. When i make meals for my husband & daughter they are always gluten free but they insist on having gluten containing food in the house that I can't have. I have tried to ban it several times and asked my husband to bring it and leave it at work, because I can't be trusted with it in the house. It never works that way. I love to cook and am good at it, just with my work schedule I don't have a lot of time. We are also on a very tight budget and it is hard for me to get the food I need sometimes. i do find it is getting easier for me. I have found some recipes and food brands that I love, but I still crave bad foods and usually cave it and eat it. I always regret it later....Any words of wisdom to share with me?

[dandelionmom]

Keep the house (and your car and your purse) stocked with delicious gluten-free food. There's a blog that was full of gluten-free crockpot recipes, maybe that would help with the dinners?

Open Original Shared Link

I also put a sticker on my fridge that says "eat well, feel well" to remind me that I don't want to feel awful just for a cracker.

[lizard00]

I can't stand to be sick. Simply put. Eating gluten knocks me down for a week or so, and that's enough incentive for me to run far, far away from it.

I also have a really strong support system. Perhaps your husband doesn't fully understand the implications of your continuing to eat gluten. If he wants to have you around, and your daughter wants to have her mom around, then having gluten in the house is not a good idea. I see gluten as poison now, but I didn't in the beginning. Maybe after you've been successfully gluten free for a while, they can bring it back into the house. But while you're struggling with this, they really need to remove the temptation and support you so that you'll be around for many more years.

You can always make gluten free versions of the things you want: cookies, cupcakes, breads, etc. Often the gluten-free version is as good, sometimes better. Maybe it would helpful to have some gluten-free treats on hand so that your only option is the gluten free version.

[henny]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with this.

I too have my moments where I feel like a three year old having an 'I WANT' tantrum.

But, overall, I usually have no problem passing over the gluteny goodies. I just get soooo sick from it so it makes it easy to say NO!

Even a dog can be trained to avoid foods that make it sick....perhaps you need to gluten yourself a few more times and really form that connection in your brain: gluten = poison.

Accepting this probably takes some time and reinforcement to really take hold in the heart.

It helps a lot to have an attitude that food is a small part of our lives and should not control us, our moods, our ability to enjoy life. I've never really been a big fan of food to begin with, so perhaps I can't truly understand how hard it can be for some.

Eat to live, don't live to eat.

That said, even people I know who have had heart attacks and were told to change their eating habits....failed. It's really hard to do, which is why we have so many health crises on our hands in these modern times. Don't beat yourself up for cheating....just re-commit yourself to a healthy gluten-free diet each time you fall back, and keep trying!

Best wishes for health and happiness :-)

[mysecretcurse]

No.. I can't say cheating has ever been a problem for me. I despise gluten and everything that it does to me. I'd never consciously eat it and can't comprehend doing so. You just have to take control over yourself.. I wish I had better advice but it really is that simple. Decide something, and stick to it. It's your health.. your life.

You need to get used to feeling good, and once you do nothing would tempt you to go back.

[teemaree]

As I am fairly new to going gluten free, and stumbling occassionally on contaminations...

My advise may not be helpfull....

But I am really not having any problems with wanting to eat the wrong stuff...

it amazes me at what I can eat!.... and how much better I feel when I eat the right stuff...

And it's like christmas to me, when I find new gluten free foods that actually taste good!...

Don't you hate the pain when eating something with gluten in it?...

I now look at food with gluten in it,as a bottle of poison....

Would you be tempted to drink poison just because it tasted nice?...

Or would you not want to drink it, because you know it will make you throw up, cause you great pain and even kill you...

I find that propect enough to scare me a mile away from gluten...

But on the other hand I can relate to what you are saying...

because ever since I was aged 12, I became illergic to prawns... but I was always so tempted to eat them..and have to watch my family devour them...but all I had to do was touch them and I would start itching and blowing up... so that stopped me, but I can't say that I feel like cheating ...

like I said, Gluten food scares me to bits now...

I must say though, I'd love a donut... and feel I could be tempted by that.... I need to find an alternative to them... I'm sure there is one out there somewhere!

[AnneM]

From the moment i was told i had Celiac disease, i never put another crumb of gluten in my mouth. I look at it this way, gluten is POISON to my body, how can anyone knowingly eat poison? This is how i can remain gluten free. I find substitutes for the food that i used to love, if you do that it is easier for you. My husband eats pizza in front of me, but i have my gluten free pizza at the same time.

I find the longer i have been eating gluten free the easier it becomes.

You need to look at gluten as poison, because it is!

[mallard]

Thanks everyone, it helps to know that I am not the only one out there. I will now on think of it as a poison and avoid it at all costs!! I had a talk with my husband and he is going to make more of an effort to help me with this. Yesterday was the first of many gluten free days!!!

[NorthernElf]

I feel your pain. I'm a mom of 3 with an understanding husband...and there is gluten in my house.

While it is nice to have a strong social support network, we don't all have it - it is totally up to us to watch what goes into our bodies. Perhaps if you strongly stick to your diet those around you will begin to get it - they will see that you mean business, they will see how much better you feel (LOL and if you're like me, act better) when you are gluten free.

I don't expect others to go gluten free - that's not fair either (and it'd be expensive!). I am the one with the diet restrictions, I am the one that needs to be gluten-free. I am also the one that does the cooking. It took me close to 2 years to realize the serious virus I had left me celiac. It took another year or so for me to accept it. Now, in my kitchen, I have my own bakeware and cooking utensils, strainers, etc. I actually have small signs on the long part of my counter stating that it is a gluten free zone. The gluteny stuff (bread, etc.) has it's own separate counter. All my family has been trained to keep the gluten on the gluten side.

When I travel or visit people, I bring food. I really don't care if they think it's rude - I need to be well. I am beyond trying to please folks by eating what they made and then feeling like I have a flu/hangover mix. I've been to restaurants and had coffee while everyone else ate lunch - sometimes social settings are hard to avoid (this was at a hockey tournament - I wasn't going to sit in the car !). I just carry my own lunch bag around.

Anyway, people I work with, people I socialize with, etc. just know I don't eat gluten. They don't even try to tempt me because I never eat it.

Does it suck ???? Yeah, sometimes it sure does...however, I don't have a choice really, I really hate being sick.

[ang1e0251]

I think you are all right; it's a mind set that takes some time to get. After going gluten-free, I had no desire to cheat but I was more careless on occasion than good for me. I started to visualize gluten as poison ivy. That picture in my head really healped. I thought I would still bake flour goods for my family but then I visualized poison ivy flour floating in the air then breathing that and how sick I would be. Bam... no more wheat flour in my kitchen!

My family doesn't cook foods for me at family things but it's my responsibility for my disease. I also carry my food wherever I go. Church dinners, business functions, etc. Even though my family isn't careful with my health, they also wouldn't want me to get cancer from eating at their house.

I made the extra effort to cook the treats and foods I love gluten-free. Now they ask for my food!!

[maile]

I must say though, I'd love a donut... and feel I could be tempted by that.... I need to find an alternative to them... I'm sure there is one out there somewhere!

I saw some by Glutino in the freezer section of a store here in Canada....can't comment on their taste but they do exist!

Thanks to all who posted in this thread, even though I didn't ask the question we're in a similar situation here at my house and all this advice in invaluable!

Can't wait until I get this whole thing down to an art and can begin to feel well again....this cr@#$y feeling is so draining!

[ravenwoodglass]

Thanks everyone, it helps to know that I am not the only one out there. I will now on think of it as a poison and avoid it at all costs!! I had a talk with my husband and he is going to make more of an effort to help me with this. Yesterday was the first of many gluten free days!!!

I hope you have many more. Keep in mind that for many of us gluten is addictive. That can make it very hard to resist the temptation to cheat. You may find after you get through the first few weeks totally gluten free that you no longer have the craving for it you do now. Getting to that point can be rough but you have to bear with it. It will be so worth it in the end. Also make sure if you haven't all ready to get the rest of the family screened with a full celiac panel, whether they seem to have symptoms or not. The NIH advises to do all first degree relatives, your kids, Mom and Dad, brothers and sisters. We also ended up testing my husband and guess what, yup him too so even though your not genetically related I would throw him into the testing mix also. You may find there are valid reasons for making the house gluten-free.

[tarnalberry]

Going gluten free, even with celiac, IS technically a choice. You have the right to choose to eat gluten, damaging your intestines, causing yourself pain, making yourself sick, increasing your chances of cancer, and - on average - shortening your lifespan by 10 years, if the tradeoff of the taste of a wheat-based cinnamon roll or wheat-based cookie is worth it to you. Just like you have the right to many other types of self-destructive behaviors. (And I'm not being snide here, you *can* choose this route if you really want to.) The question you have to ask yourself, though, is WHY would you make this decision. Maybe you have a good reason. Just because I've never heard of one and can't imagine one doesn't mean one doesn't exist.

But you always have the choice of eating gluten free and staying healthy, reducing your chances of cancer, nutritional deficiencies, and other autoimmune diseases. The tradeoff of finding the substitutes for what you used to know for a quality of life increase.

For me, and maybe for some others, knowing that you can make this choice actively, that you are free to make the decision, but understanding the FULL ramifications of the decision, is helpful.

[spinsterwitch]

Your dillemma is actually pretty normal. I think there are plenty of people who get really sick immediately, and that is enough of a deterant. But if you are less sensitive or your symptoms are not as strong like mine, then it can be really difficult.

I work with dialysis patients. Their diets (and fluids) are seriously restricted. It's not just one thing they have to think about, but avoiding large sections of fruits and veggies...and dairy, and beans, etc. The list just goes on. Some of my colleagues get frustrated and wonder why they eat things like this when it is doing such damage to them, and can even potentially kill them. I often ask if they have tried the renal diet...most don't because it's almost too much to think about.

But recently I read something in a book about intuitive eating that talked about a study showing that when people feel they are being deprived of something, then it sets up a psychological craving for that thing. It's one of the reason that people get into binge cycles when they diet.

I think if you can find a way, like telling yourself that it is poison or just conciously remembering the feelings in your body you get after you eat, you can start to believe that cutting out gluten is not deprivation. This will hopefully cut down on the craving factor.

[Dasmith]

I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with celiac disease and I hear what you are saying. My husband is eating gluten filled goodies...but I look at it this way (hopefully this helps). He is blessed not having this illness and I would hate for him to be deprived of things he enjoys b/c of me. He would feel the same way if roles were reversed...he would not want me to go without things I enjoy b/c of him. I also feel soooo much better that I don't want to dose myself w/gluten...having lived so many years feeling horrible the energy, etc. that I get from not eating gluten outways the want for a gluten filled goodie.

One of the things I have found that has been difficult though is not tasting what I am cooking for him...I love to cook and have always tasted before serving....lol My husband "caught" me the other night while I was cooking a pasta dish for him....lol I was just getting ready to pop that piece of pasta in my mouth and he said "you may not want to do that"..and I looked at him like "What"....lol Then it clicked....I was so thankful...I would have been sick for about 24 to 48 hours if he hadn't stopped me.

I do wish you luck and strength to get through all the temptations....maybe in talking with family/friends you can ask someone to be your "go to" person...that you can call when you are feeling like you may eat a gluten filled goodie.

I just quit smoking January 1st and one of my friends is my "go to" person and I haven't smoked again.

I think this year will be a test of my will by the looks of it....lol

Good luck and warm regards to everyone!

[Fiddle-Faddle]

I am blessed with a family who is very, very supportive. In addition, hubby is a chemist, so he REALLY understands the ins and outs of celiac, including the addictive aspect.

Asking a celiac to live in a household containing plenty of gluteny goodies is like asking a heroin addict to live in a household with free and easy access to heroin.

Now, once you've been gluten-free for several months, this may change! It did for me, and I can now co-exist quite nicely in gluten-containing households. I no longer crave or even WANT gluteny things, partly because the cravings are gone, partly because I make gluten-free versions fo everything I want--from scratch--and they are just as good as the gluteny originals

SO, I would say, stock up, not on pre-made, gluten-free, expensive styrofoam, but on good gluten-free recipes, and the ingredients you would need to make whatever you miss!

2 good places to start:

www.betterbatter.org (I buy their flour 45 pounds at a time, on Amazon, and make their challah recipe in my bread machine twice a week)

www.foodphilosopher.com (click on "gluten-free archives," then, click on "three recipes to get you started." The gluten-free flour mix they use is found if you click on "our gluten-free philosophy." But you can easily substitute the betterbatter flour mix in these recipes--just omit the xanthan gum, as it is already in the betterbatter flour mix.

Their recipes for chocolate-chip cookies and vanilla cupcakes are better than anything gluten-containing that I ever made before--and I was considered a pretty good baker!

Get your daughter into baking these with you, and let her eat them. She may stop bringing gluteny garbage into the house with fresh-baked gluten-free yummies already at home!

[CeliacMom2008]

Something that always helps me with my willpower is to visualize the positive consequences and the negative consequences of the action. I was diagnosed with extremely high cholestrol at a very young age. I was able to change very bad eating habits (I was one of those skinny people who could down a dozen donuts and not even flinch) by visualizing myself at my son's wedding or holding my grandchild (mind you my son was 2 at the time!). Then I'd revisualize the same events with me dead due to a heart attack. When you put it that way it was really easy for me to walk away from the foods that were damaging my body and into aerobics class (where I really didn't want to be).

Now that my son has Celiac, I too occasionally crave things - like being able to eat at a restaurant with him. But I use the same thing - pizza at our old favorite place vs. pizza in our home and the consequences - my son very sick or my son very healthy. We have a gluten free household for similar reasoning - I wouldn't want to make his diet any harder on him than it already is, so it's easy for us to eat gluten free as a family. But we really don't miss gluteny food. We always have plenty of gluten free options - some healthy, some not so healthy - in the house. I think that's key. Always have something you love in a gluten free version in the house. I haven't found a cake or cookie that doesn't freeze well! That way they're always there for "emergencies!"

[luvs2eat]

If you had the physical symptoms I have when I accidentally have gluten (as I'd NEVER digest it willingly)... we wouldn't be having this conversation! You'd NEVER think about cheating!!

[Tallforagirl]

If you had the physical symptoms I have when I accidentally have gluten (as I'd NEVER digest it willingly)... we wouldn't be having this conversation! You'd NEVER think about cheating!!

How exactly is this meant to be helpful? Sometimes I feel as if this message board is just a "who has it worst" league table of symptoms.

I'm also one of those diagnosed with celiac disease with little/no symptoms, and while I sympathise with the very sensitive Celiacs/gluten intolerant people, the issues faced by those of us who are not as sensitive can be just as challenging, albeit not in the same way.

Some of us struggle with the concept of sticking to a treatment plan (the gluten-free diet) despite having never felt any symptoms of the disease we're meant to be treating, and sometimes not even feeling any tangible benefit despite sticking to the diet. Is it not understandable that we find it challenging sometimes?

[Fiddle-Faddle]

I'm also one of those diagnosed with celiac disease with little/no symptoms, and while I sympathise with the very sensitive Celiacs/gluten intolerant people, the issues faced by those of us who are not as sensitive can be just as challenging, albeit not in the same way.

So am I, but I totally understand what luvs2eat was trying to communicate--for those who spend several DAYS with their head stuck down the toilet, in total misery, cheating would be like intentionally eating rat poison--totally unthinkable.

I really don't think luvs2eat was trying to make it into anything competitive.

And I do feel that it's helpful, as those of us who have few or no obvious symptoms from being glutened do risk become just as ill in the long run, if we continue to ingest gluten.

I saw a post on one of the other threads on this board--the current hypothesis is that those who are terribly sensitive to even minute amounts of gluten are the ones who were diagnosed late in the game, after years and years of gluten-induced damage. Many of them did not have obvious symptoms early on, and when those symptoms did present, they were misdiagnosed for years, sometimes decades.

Knowing their stories helps me stay gluten-free.

When I first joined this board, there were a number of people who had severe, long-term damage from various gluten-linked autoimmune conditions, like lupus, ataxia, etc.

The knowledge that I could end up like that is more than enough to keep me from wanting to cheat. For me, staying gluten-free is not a challenge--but life in a wheelchair or worse WOULD be a challenge.

[sbj]

How exactly is this meant to be helpful? Sometimes I feel as if this message board is just a "who has it worst" league table of symptoms.

I'm also one of those diagnosed with celiac disease with little/no symptoms, and while I sympathise with the very sensitive Celiacs/gluten intolerant people, the issues faced by those of us who are not as sensitive can be just as challenging, albeit not in the same way.

Some of us struggle with the concept of sticking to a treatment plan (the gluten-free diet) despite having never felt any symptoms of the disease we're meant to be treating, and sometimes not even feeling any tangible benefit despite sticking to the diet. Is it not understandable that we find it challenging sometimes?

I am with you Tallforagirl. This has been tough for me because I don't feel any benefit at all from this diet! I didn't have issues to begin with and sticking to the diet is not helping with my tummy issues cause I didn't have any! Half the time I feel thankful that this was discovered, the other half I find myself wishing they hadn't found this while looking for cancer so that I could still enjoy a damn cheeseburger! (Darn doctors, performing unnecessary, invasive, life threatening endoscopies that discovered my celiac that I otherwise never would have known about! )

It's unfortunate that this forum often looks like a competition. But there's no doubt that what you say is true. I think we have some here who are crying out for attention - I'm not writing about anyone in particular! - it's a phenomenon you see quite often on anonymous forums. It's actually a small price to pay for the benefits we do get from forums like these.

I still struggle every day with the idea that a tiny crumb can be super dangerous to me even though I do not suffer with any symptoms whatsoever. So at least I can sympathize with you. (And I can appreciate why you feel like this seeing as you are almost routinely attacked on a daily basis for merely offering sincere and sound advice.) Please know that even though you are a member of a small minority on this forum that you are not alone. Perhaps many others who agree - many other silent celiacs - are literally 'silent' on this forum?

What keeps me going? Willpower! The challenge of self-control.

(This post is not intended to provoke angry responses. I'm sharing my opinion about the topic and sympathizing with another poster.)

[Gemini]

I am with you Tallforagirl. This has been tough for me because I don't feel any benefit at all from this diet! I didn't have issues to begin with and sticking to the diet is not helping with my tummy issues cause I didn't have any! Half the time I feel thankful that this was discovered, the other half I find myself wishing they hadn't found this while looking for cancer so that I could still enjoy a damn cheeseburger! (Darn doctors, performing unnecessary, invasive, life threatening endoscopies that discovered my celiac that I otherwise never would have known about! )

Why can't you enjoy a cheeseburger now? There are a whole bunch of companies that have rolls that taste far better than any gluten containing rolls out there. We all know that cheeseburgers are gluten-free anyway so no reason to give those up!

As far as looking for cancer, that is all most doctors hone in on. If you are having any kind of internal issue, the first thing they go for is cancer, when most times it is not. Wait till you get older....they are obsessed with cancer and treat anyone over 50 like it's only a matter of time before it happens. I feel this is why celiac disease is so badly diagnosed....once they don't find anything truly serious, they don't spend much time looking for anything else. And, yes, endoscopies are a risk so making a decision to have one should be taken seriously. I have family in the medical profession and I guess I have heard too many horror stories of medical screw-ups. They do happen and happen more often than you think but you won't hear about it. Medicine is a closed society and they are careful with what the public hears. On the other hand, for those who have little to no symptoms with this disease, it might boil down to having one done. It's a shame, though, that the endoscopy is unreliable also.....to a point. We've seen it on this forum. People who end up with a negative biopsy because the damage isn't bad enough yet or the doctor didn't take enough samples. I was lucky, I guess, in that I was a classic, poster child for celiac disease with advanced symptoms. Between the blood work and symptoms I was having, it was truly a no-brainer getting diagnosed, although I had to get to end stage for that to happen.

I'm sure it is extremely difficult for those with little symptoms to stick to the diet. It's the same for smokers also.....what they do is enjoyable, like food for some, and the illness and destruction doesn't come for many years. Maybe for those having trouble being compliant, who wouldn't think of smoking a cigarette, will think of that the next time they reach for gluten to eat. It's the exact same thing.

Just think of the damage being done to your intestines instead of your lungs.

[sbj]

I have yet to find any bread that tastes remotely better than gluten containing rolls. I'll keep searching and try new ones as I can afford them, but I'm a bit tired of spending my $6 only to find that the bread is a sore disappointment.

You may not be aware of my story but when you say of cancer that they treat you like "it's only a matter of time before it happens" in my case it almost literally is only a matter of time. I have Lynch syndrome (HNPCC) - look it up if interested. I am forever indebted to the medical community. They are heroes. I urge everyone who might be reading to follow the recommended cancer screening guidelines. Cancer screening for those over 50 who show no symptoms has saved countless lives.

[Jestgar]

I'm also one of those diagnosed with celiac disease with little/no symptoms, and while I sympathise with the very sensitive Celiacs/gluten intolerant people, the issues faced by those of us who are not as sensitive can be just as challenging, albeit not in the same way.

yeah, ok, good point.

I have nothing helpful to say, but I admire you for using your intellect to stay healthy in the absence of rewards (or lack of punishment). I don't know if I could do it.

[mallard]

I am with you Tallforagirl. This has been tough for me because I don't feel any benefit at all from this diet! I didn't have issues to begin with and sticking to the diet is not helping with my tummy issues cause I didn't have any! Half the time I feel thankful that this was discovered, the other half I find myself wishing they hadn't found this while looking for cancer so that I could still enjoy a damn cheeseburger! (Darn doctors, performing unnecessary, invasive, life threatening endoscopies that discovered my celiac that I otherwise never would have known about! )

I completley agree with this. I really don't get any reactions, once in a blue moon I will get a stomach ache. Generally the only thing that happens to me is a get a pimple a couple of days after eating gluten. This doesn't help when trying to figure out where the gluten was hiding from me. I am very tired all of the time and this aggravates my husband. So we had a talk this weekend and the only way for me not to be tired is to eat well to live well, one day at a time.

It has been a tough couple of days, but I am still gluten free.