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"you Might Be A Celiac If....."


VegasCeliacBuckeye

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yllehs91 Apprentice

hehe! these are so hilarious! i couldn't stop laughing! I can't wait til they're on clothing ;)

You might be a celiac if...

You've memorized the "safe" and "forbidden" ingredients lists on this website.

You cry anytime you hear the fries in a restaurant are fried with the chicken tenders.

You are usually the one doing the cooking for any family event.

You are the only one who doesn't forget you have celiac disease. (my family 4gets sometimes, and i sit there with a certain look on my face like "HELLO!?! Think again..")

You loved the list and couldn't stop laughing at it.

You're going to print the list and show it to everyone you know just to see how many will act like they understand it.

You've memorized the health food stores phone numbers in the surrounding cities.

can't wait to see how many more are posted on here. I love them! they're all so great. thanks everyone for making my day!!! the homework i've been doing has really sucked, so this was a nice break! :D gotta get back to it--

Love,

*~!~*ME*~!~*

Shelly--Wayyy South TX--13/f. Diagnosed 9/27/04


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tarnalberry Community Regular

oh the red pepper soup! I had that stuff shortly before I found out I'm casein intolerant, dang it. And no more good cheese either. :-( (Yeah, I know about the casein free stuf... it ain't the same. :-( )

yllehs91 Apprentice

You might be a celiac if...

Most of your e-mails are restaurant or company replies. :lol: Over 1/2 my inbox are from restaurants and companies and everything else dealing with celiac disease. :P

Canadian Karen Community Regular

You might be celiac if:

You have had to explain the difference between gluten and glutton several times....

I have been asked more than once how my glutton diet is going..... lol!

What, me? a pig? *snort* :P

Karen

Guest ~wAvE WeT sAnD~

Ugh! That's terrible!

Well, the diet does make you a glutton...when something tastes good, YOU MUST EAT IT!!! :P

celiac3270 Collaborator

All great additions.

Shelly, I have a similar issue with e-mails. I get about 70 daily, and only about 6 of them are specifically to me--the rest are from various celiac lists...... :D

Jill, I love cheese, also! :D:P

(only applicable if you live in an area with many healthfood store around).....if you have memorized the prices at each store and therefore, know where you can get Tinkyada pasta and Kinnikinick bread cheaper ;)

uclangel422 Apprentice

you might be Celiac if...

nobody will watch the Food Network with you anymore because you spend the entire show saying "well i cant eat that" or "that would kill me"


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celiac3270 Collaborator

I never used to watch the Food Network but since going gluten-free, I watch it all the time.... Unwrapped, the Secret Life of... most of the ones that don't involve cooking :lol: . It's probably the vicarious thrill...though I make the occasional comment about how a certain product would destroy my intestines or "That's a gluten-free product!" :D

yllehs91 Apprentice

:D haha! My sisters think I'm sooo lame for watchin the food network- but i wanna be a gluten-free chef, and I love the food network (especially Iron Chef America). :lol: I thought I was the only one who watched the food network! :lol: that makes me feel so great! :D

You might be a celiac if the main fast food restaurant you eat at is McDonalds.

You might be a celiac if the only place you eat at is McDonalds.

Ha...the main fast food place I eat at is McDonalds bcuz there's more of a choice there--but I don't like eating fast food that much. <_<

*shelly*

Canadian Karen Community Regular

What a bunch of masochists we have in this forum. What torture, watching someone make some delicious food that 9 times out of 10, you can't have!!!! :P

Karen

mytummyhurts Contributor
You might be a celiac if the only place you eat at is McDonalds.

Yeah, that's the only fast food place I eat at anymore too. I haven't learned what I can and can't eat anywhere else.

My friend asked me how my glutton free diet was going! :lol: Now that's all we call it, as a joke.

celiac3270 Collaborator

Updated April 26.

You might be celiac if...

1. The centerpiece on your dining room table is a bread machine.

2. Your bread looks like a moon rock and tastes like dried out Play Doh.

3. Your bread weighs more than any moon rock could possibly weigh.

4. The only way you will eat your bread is toasted.

5. You've paid over $5 for a loaf of bread.

6. You make your own pizza

7. You visit a health food store at least twice a week.

8. You buy most of your food on the Internet.

9. One of your primary goals in life is to create "Fake Oreo Cookies" (and/or Cheerios)

10. There are Garage Sale stickers on all your kitchen food containers.

11. You have argued about and read articles about distilled vinegar and oats.

12. You've disinherited loved ones for putting their knife in your mayo.

13. You've ever been caught licking a discarded Twinkie wrapper.

14. At Christmas, visions of guar gum dance in your head.

15. You are a strictly brand name shopper

16. You've ever had to give a doctor a crash course in Celiac 101.

17. You weep at picnics, parties, receptions and fast food joints.

18. You weep at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

19. You've ever "brown bagged it" to an elegant dinner party.

20. You have written "contaminated" on jars of peanut butter.

21. You have become friends with the customer service representatives at every company.

22. The customer service representatives at every company recognize your voice.

23. You know the difference between an allergy and an intolerance...and you care.

24. You have two of everything in your kitchen (pots, pans, wooden spoons, etc.).

25. You are afraid of spices and in restaurants, ask for your food "naked."

26. You are afraid of and have nightmares about bagels, pizza, and cake.

27. You make many phone calls from the supermarket.

28. You know what disodium phosphate, tartaric acid, and quinoa are...and care.

29. You know who Danna Korn, Peter Green, and Anne Lee are.

30. You bring many, many lists with you to the supermarket.

31. The first thing you do, upon reaching an unfamiliar location, is pinpoint the location of the nearest bathroom.

32. You have ever tried to explain to a waiter that "it is necessary to use clean pans for you food" and he stares back at you in disbelief.

33. You ordered a salad with no croutons and the entire time its being made you wish you could go back to the kitchen and watch them prepapre it but were afraid to ask.

34. You have taken a poop at all of your friends and relatives houses, even if you just met them...

35. You have explained to people the difference/similarities between Modified Food Starch and Modified Corn Starch at least 50 times (or you know what disodium phosphate is -- celiac3270)

36. You ask Asian restaurants if they have baked or mashed potatoes

37. You ask every restaurant if they have baked/mashed potatoes

38. You've kissed someone who just drank beer and wonder if you will get sick

39. You've kissed someone who just drank a beer and you really wanted their beer instead of your vodka/tonic, wine, spritzer, ......

40. You've responded to someone's post on a website about bowel problems and were brutally honest about your own "issues with bowels"

41. You read this post and laughed because you've "been there"

42. People think you're on the Atkins diet

43. You've asked for a bunless burger...and been looked at as if you have three heads.

44. You've asked about the ingredients of shampoo

45. You post on this board...that's not funny, though

46. You've washed your telephone after your child/spouse has answered it while eating.

47. You've checked all cups in a coffee shop for crumb residue.

48. You can say Kinnikinnick 10 times fast without making a mistake

49. With just one quick whiff, you can pinpoint the brand name and fragrance of every air freshener on the market!

50. You have had to leave the room because someone else was eating Pizza Hut's breadsticks and they smelled TOOOOOOO good!

51. Someone else complains of IBS, and you tell them to quit eating gluten!

52. Or you know someone that was dx with diverticulitis and you tell them to stop eating gluten!!!

53. You don't know what a "normal" bowel movement is.

54. You thought of (or started) a topic called "you might be a celiac if...."

55. Eating out is a "death sentence" not an enjoyable event!

56. All you eat at the church pot luck dinner is jello

57. Your tears compete with your drool when you pass a Krispy Kreme!!!

58. Carry some type of medication with 24/7 (ie Immodium)

59. At least once a day smile and say, "Sorry, I can't have that"

60. Have been lectured on your crazy dieting and told to just forget about your weight

61. Have survived for some period of time solely on rice or peanut butter

62. Physically flinch at the feel of bread or similar product

63. Feel nauseous at the sight of some gluten filled food

64. Have mastered the art of passing gas in public

65. You read this list to your SO (who doesn't have celiac) and they laughed right along with you.

66. You have ever thought you might explode from holding in a fart too long while in public

67. You have ever had nightmares about being trapped in the bread aisle in the grocery store

68. You have ever had a meltdown from actually BEING trapped in the bread aisle in the grocery store.

69. You call a dream about eating pizza and chocolate cake a NIGHTMARE!!

70. You read a topic called Cheating and you just KNOW it's not about her husband and her best friend!!

71. Your answer to this joke: "Why did the lion spit out the clown?" is something like... "Because the lion had celiac and as his fangs began to clench down he saw out of the corner of his eye that the clown's hand was holding a slice of pizza ?" When the real answer is: "Because the clown tasted funny!"

72. You pay $1.59 for a 12 oz bottle of rootbeer!

73. You

celiac3270 Collaborator
What a bunch of masochists we have in this forum. What torture, watching someone make some delicious food that 9 times out of 10, you can't have!!!! 

Karen

LOL, Karen :lol: ... but you still get the excitement from watching it...and the best part is, those who are watching the show with you can't eat the food you're viewing, since it's on TV and not in a restaurant or something...

Note: I do not recommend subjecting yourself to this if you are new to the diet or still in the mourning phase. :P

Guest ~wAvE WeT sAnD~

I just think to myself, "wow...I'm going to change that recipe (the flour)"

yllehs91 Apprentice

You might be a celiac if you...

Know what xanthan gum is, and how to pronounce it. :lol:

Hehe my friend wants to make me a gluten-free pizza for my bday, and she found a recipe. At skool she was reading it, looked at me funny and said "What's ex-an-an-thum" gum? hahaha. so much fun! :lol:

celiac3270 Collaborator

Ha! :lol: I'd recommend the Chebe mix...it's the best I've tried so far and the floury stuff is already pre-made so you don't need to worry about finding your rice flour and potato starch and xanthan gum ;)

stef-the-kicking-cuty Enthusiast

You might be a celiac, if you think of paradise as a glutenfree world instead of a place where angels fly around.

I hope I said that right :P . You might know, what I mean.

ianm Apprentice

I'll take the gluten free world over the place with angels anyday because it might not be gluten free there. :lol:

Rikki Tikki Explorer

Those are pretty funny!

Guest ~wAvE WeT sAnD~

You might be a Celiac if you want to kill the people who ask you if you want bread or pasta---and these same people who ALREADY KNOW THAT YOU HAVE celiac disease.

You might be a Celiac if you propose to open a Celiacs Only restaurant for your Business and Technical Writing paper.

You might be a Celiac if you hate the fact that no one can learn the hidden ingredients on your list---especially if they're FOOD SERVICE WORKERS.

You might be a Celiac if you feel as if Beef and Cheese sticks are to you what pizza logs are to everyone else--a meal.

:)

mommida Enthusiast

You might be Celiac if..

You know who Bette Hagman, the Gluten free gourmet, and Connie Sarros, the Gluten Free Guru are and care.

You might be a member of the gluten free forum if you want celiac3270 and Kaiti to run for president of the U.S.A.

L.

celiac3270 Collaborator
You might be a member of the gluten free forum if you want celiac3270 and Kaiti to run for president of the U.S.A.

L.

Awww, thank you! :D:P I'm 21 years to young, though.

celiac3270/Kaiti 2028... :lol: ha...no discprepancy over what party, anyway :D

Canadian Karen Community Regular

Hey, if I lived in the States, you would get my vote!!! ;)

Karen

KaitiUSA Enthusiast
You might be Celiac if..

You know who Bette Hagman, the Gluten free gourmet, and Connie Sarros, the Gluten Free Guru are and care.

You might be a member of the gluten free forum if you want celiac3270 and Kaiti to run for president of the U.S.A.

L.

haha :lol::lol:

Thanx :D

I'm too young too...darn...that would be fun too

celiac3270...yep at least we agree on the same party

Canadian Karen Community Regular

You might be Celiac if:

When you are reading other forums, when you see DH, your first thought is not "Dear Husband" but "Dermatitis Herptiformus"...... :P

Karen

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    • Wends
      Hi Dora77. “Questions I Need Help With” “1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks…” YES - you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for your mother. Trust she still knows how to take the best care of you in her own way. Mishaps and cross contamination may happen - will happen on occasion, in fact - that’s life. But for the bulk of it as long as you’re aware of cc and try to avoid it for the most part, don’t sweat the small stuff! See the gluten free diet as a process. Own the process, Do Not let the process own you! “2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage.” NO - this is OCD brain at its best! Hijacking your thoughts and justifying it because of the very real fear of gluten contamination. That’s OCD all over. Like a devil in the driving seat. Fears that are based on some kind of reality are hard to argue with. Boss it back! Recognise this for what it is. OCD using fear of gluten as its excuse to keep you entrapped. Own the OCD in this scenario, don’t let it own you. Normal cleanliness rules apply. Washing your hands before you handle food you’re putting in your mouth is fine. Washing after the gym is normal. Once daily cleansing wipe of your phone etc. Even if you did go rubbing your hands all over surfaces and licking them there might be a trace exposure to gluten possible. But I’m guessing you don’t usually do that sort of thing. Even if you inadvertently were to ingest trace gluten - it won’t be enough to do damage, no. It takes weeks to months of at least a few hundred milligrams of gliadin daily for the innate immune system followed by the adaptive immune system in coeliac disease to kick in and start producing antibodies and cause villous atrophy. “3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy?” Only biopsy, as the gold standard of diagnosis, can tell for certain if villi have recovered. Having said that video capsule etc. can give an indication of any inflammation. “4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust?” Assuming your employer provides all necessary PPE - appropriate mask and overalls etc. All you can do is take the precautions that are advised according to risk assessments and regulations of the relevant industry governing bodies? (I don’t know what this would be in the USA. Sorry. But there’s safety and governing regs in the UK for this sort of thing. Assuming it would be very similar over the pond in fairness). “5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.)” This comes down to personal threshold of gluten tolerance. People that are highly sensitive may need certified products. Especially those with dermatitis herpetiformis - the skin manifestation of gluten sensitivity. Listen to your body on this one. “6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?” This one is easy - when following a strict gluten free diet, avoid products that say May contain traces of gluten. But it does not have to be labelled gluten free. There are many foods naturally gluten free. Having said that, there is nuance and personal tolerance threshold. If you’re super sensitive “may contain gluten” labelling is a godsend. But this kind of labelling is more aimed at informing customers with type 1 food hypersensitivity/ allergy reactions. The company is basically legally covering themselves, because there may be a risk of cross contamination. Not to be confused that it means there is cross contamination. In addition to products being labelled gluten free. Many products that are labelled can still contain gluten by the way - in fact any processed products labelled gluten free can still contain the allowable level of gluten (up to 20 parts per million according to Codex). A study was done not too long ago that showed gluten free processed products such as cereals, breads, flours etc. can and some are in fact contaminated and have above the legal allowable amount of gluten in them. While most gluten free products are fine for most celiac patients and tolerated, highly sensitive patients fail to heal fully if relying on processed gluten free products. The trace gluten exposure adds up for someone eating a typical western diet of gluten free cereal for breakfast, gluten free sandwich for lunch, gluten free pasta or pizza for dinner for example day after day, week after week. This is why, at least in the beginning after diagnosis, the gluten free diet should be one of whole real food - food that does not require a label. Meats, oily fish, eggs, beans, natural gluten free complex carbohydrates and vegetables according to custom and taste. Limit fruit as fructose worsens leaky gut and has been hypothetically linked to increased OCD and ADHD - Professor Richard Johnson published study on this recently. “7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful?” NO and YES. What you listed as your current, limited diet is nutrient poor. Correct it as soon as possible for your own sake and future health! Ditto what others have replied regarding vitamin and minerals that are lacking in malabsorption syndromes like celiacs and need replenishing. Gluten free products are not fortified. You were likely healthier, dare I say it, on a gluten containing diet for this reason. Your brain , and gut for healing and maintenance, needs lots of nourishment from omega 3s, B complex vitamins, folate, B12, iron, selenium etc. Meats, fish, natural fats that come with, do not fear - the brain is made of fat. Limit sugar, seed oils, and high glycemic cereals and fruit like bananas unfortunately as they can cause blood sugar highs and lows that can worsen anxiety in some people. Refined carbohydrates should be limited for the same reason. Fructose and simple sugars in excess feed the unhealthy gut bugs that wreak havoc with anxiety disorders like OCD. White potatoes can be problematic for some, also. It can take six weeks of elimination to see improvements. Note, consult your physician regards insulin adjustment if you reduce carbohydrates in the diet. Dr Bernstein diabetes protocol has worked for thousands. Ketogenic and low carbohydrate diets for mental and neurological conditions have shown improvements. Limited studies have and are being conducted under metabolic psychology and nutritional psychology. In a good proportion of anxiety disorders, mental, and neurological conditions including dementias, the brain is lacking nutrition and usable energy, not a drug. Similar in many autoimmune conditions, including celiacs, the prevailing hypothesis is that gut inflammation and resultant permeability allowing exposure to antigens begets triggering the genetically susceptible immune system response. Modern lifestyle exposure, one of the biggest being the food we choose to eat plays a huge role. Avoid ultra processed products, high in seed oils, refined grains, and sugar. Not just gluten can cause a leaky gut. Fructose, alcohol, egg white lysozyme, emulsifiers, added gums, the list goes on. “8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if it’s gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean.” If in doubt have your own cutlery set, plate and dishes etc. for your sole use that you handwash yourself. Carry a camping fork/spoon set when out and about if needed. “9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.” That’s a classic OCD fear. Nothing to do with gluten as such. OCD brain is using gluten as the excuse here. I personally have the habit of using a cleansing wipe or dust cloth on my phone, nightly, that eases this sort of worry. For example a micro fibre dust cloth will do the trick, keep one on your nightstand? They are antibacterial as particles cling to the cloth. “10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers.”  NO. But again these OCD thoughts are hard to argue with. If in doubt, just a quick wipe with a cloth daily should suffice. Normal cleanliness practice. But if you don’t, or forget, don’t sweat the small stuff. “11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.” Better if it is gluten free, yes. “12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc.” Still safe if do not explicitly contain gluten grains / derivatives AND if within the use by and use within dates. “I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore.” Really hope these replies to your questions help. Just remember, in the midst of overwhelming thoughts and darkness under OCD clouded vision, the light and sunshine is always shining above. Take a moment or two when you are able in each day - even if it’s last thing at night - to meditate. Focus on something that you enjoy and appreciate. Or sit in a quiet space and try to relax and tune in to your higher self. Ask for guidance and soothing from your guardian angel. Over time it works but don’t worry if your brain is anxious. Eventually it will quieten down some. Try to focus on a real food, nutrient dense and naturally gluten free diet, this will help your anxiety and future health in the long run. Please eat real food - not cornflakes and sandwiches. Eat a steak, eggs or fish for example. Gluten exposures may happen, but don’t sweat it, dust yourself off so to speak, and carry on with a natural gluten free diet as best you can. Own your OCD don’t let it own you! Similarly, when it comes to a gluten free diet for celiac disease, own the process, don’t let it own you! You’re 18. That’s great. I’ve been managing OCD since childhood (in my 40s now. Many years of research, trial and error so to speak. Diet makes a difference. To quote Doc Brown to teenagers Marty and Jennifer, ‘ …your future hasn’t been written yet. No one’s has. It’s whatever you make it. So make it a good one.’
    • maryannlove
      Unfortunately not going to be able to let you know how Amneal is working because I still have almost 3 month supply of Mylan.  Had annual appointment with endocrinologist last week (though get scripts for blood work more often) and since was on my last refill, she sent new script to pharmacist.  Staying on my Mylan until it's gone.  (I tend to build up a supply because after trying a couple of endocrinologists for my Hashimotos, one finally got my thyroid regulated by my taking only six days a week instead of adjusting the strength which had me constantly up and down.  Will be forever grateful to her.  Apparently high percentage of folks with Celiac also have Hashimotos so all this relevant/helpful on Celiac.com.    
    • KimMS
      Thanks for sharing this! Have you started taking the Amneal? I'm curious how it's going for you. My pharmacy gave me the option of Accord, Macleod or Amneal. I didn't realize that Amneal was formerly Lannett, or I might have chosen that one. However, I did read some anecdotal reports that some people had side effects with Amneal, so I chose Accord. I have been taking it for 3-4 weeks and the past 10 days I have developed extreme fatigue/sluggishness, joint pain and some brain fog. I don't know if it is the new levo med, but nothing else has changed. Has anyone else taken Accord levo? Any issues? It seems to fall into the "no gluten ingredients, but we can't guarantee 100%, but it's likely safe category." I'm wondering if it is worth switching to Amneal or at least getting my thyroid levels checked. If the med is causing my symptoms, I'm guessing it's not because of gluten but maybe the potency is different from Mylan and I need different dosing. Accord was recalled for lower potency, but my pharmacist said the pills I have were not part of that lot.  
    • Mrs Wolfe
      I appreciate the information and links.  
    • Mrs Wolfe
      Thank you for the information.   
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