Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Started Dating - Dreading "the Talk"

jasonD2

By jasonD2
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

jasonD2 Experienced
jasonD2
Posted

No not the sex talk the gluten talk...this girl has a great body and is in excellent shape, however, she doesnt have the best diet. we grabbed a quick "snack" the other night and she ordered eggs, bacon and french toast and scarfed it down in 10 min. I havent told her bout my issues yet. im am taking her out this weekend so obviously i will have to bring it up- how do i do this? i know for a fact this will all be foreign to her

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


K8ling Enthusiast
K8ling
Posted

Aww just be honest. I am leggy, blonde, and in great shape and I ate the SAME WAY in college, if Sean (my husband) had said "I have this disease..." and explained it, I would have been ok with it and changed things because I REALLY liked him.

Look at it this way, it doesn't matter how hot she is if she's not willing to, oh, say... not kill you with food (lol). Sending good vibes your way!!

jasonD2 Experienced
jasonD2
Posted
  • Author

HAHA thanks! I like leggy blondes...too bad you are married...we coulda been somethin special ;)

Skylark Collaborator
Skylark
Posted

You think there's a woman alive who hasn't tried some diet or another? You're on familiar territory for us females. Finding out a date has a dietary issues is nothing compared to finding out he has a wife (or girlfriend), children, is alcoholic, is a rabid born-again Christian, has a criminal record, or has herpes. Wow. I'm just remembering why I stopped dating. :blink:

I'm remembering the born-again Christian who went off on gays in the middle of a hippie coffeehouse near the gay part of town. That's one of the few times in my life I have tried to actually sink into the floorboards.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I think tell her about Celiac but leave the discussion on parasites until you're engaged, maybe marrried. :P

lucia Enthusiast
lucia
Posted

Maybe the universe sent you to her because she's in danger of dying from cardiac disease at a young age. :)

Seriously, think of it another way: your attention to your health is responsible and attractive. Celiac or not, I'd want a boyfriend like that. She'd be lucky to have you.

Roda Rising Star
Roda
Posted

I think tell her about Celiac but leave the discussion on parasites until you're engaged, maybe marrried. :P

Funny! :lol::lol:

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


jasonD2 Experienced
jasonD2
Posted
  • Author

Thats a nice thing to say- thank u

kayo Explorer
kayo
Posted

Aww, Jason, you worry too much! I've dated guys with diabetes, guys who were vegetarian and guys who were kosher and guys who had allergies. It's no biggie and we gals understand. Start off easy, like, I have to follow a specific diet for health reasons, so how was your day? You don't need to go into great detail. She'll probably ask questions and you can say, like diabetics can't have sugar I can't have gluten which is in breads, pasta, etc. Luckily there's lots of gluten free foods I can have.

I think tell her about Celiac but leave the discussion on parasites until you're engaged, maybe marrried. :P

Too funny!

Ahorsesoul Enthusiast
Ahorsesoul
Posted

The only thing you need to say is "I can not eat anything with gluten". End of long story with details. No need to make it a shakespearean tragedy.

Tina B Apprentice
Tina B
Posted

You think there's a woman alive who hasn't tried some diet or another? You're on familiar territory for us females. Finding out a date has a dietary issues is nothing compared to finding out he has a wife (or girlfriend), children, is alcoholic, is a rabid born-again Christian, has a criminal record, or has herpes. Wow. I'm just remembering why I stopped dating. :blink:

I'm remembering the born-again Christian who went off on gays in the middle of a hippie coffeehouse near the gay part of town. That's one of the few times in my life I have tried to actually sink into the floorboards.

Honestly, it's not a big deal. what if you told her you were diabetic or deathly allergic to peanuts? What's the big deal. I'd rather hear this from a guy than HIV positive or Herpes or something a lot worse. You have a malabsorbtion syndrome and yay, it doesn't require any expensive meds or complicated treatments. It's all in the presentation.

mbrookes Community Regular
mbrookes
Posted

If I were going out with a guy who told me he had Celiac disease and couldn't eat gluten I would hit the internet and amaze him with my understanding. Many of us females are hard wired to be care-takers, so I really don't see a problem. Unless, of course, she is totally self-absobrd in which case ...lose her quick.

Tina B Apprentice
Tina B
Posted

If I were going out with a guy who told me he had Celiac disease and couldn't eat gluten I would hit the internet and amaze him with my understanding. Many of us females are hard wired to be care-takers, so I really don't see a problem. Unless, of course, she is totally self-absobrd in which case ...lose her quick.

DITTO, DITTO, DITTO

lucia Enthusiast
lucia
Posted

I've dated guys with diabetes, guys who were vegetarian and guys who were kosher and guys who had allergies. It's no biggie and we gals understand.

This reminded me: my ex-boyfriend was diabetic from the age of 9. He was really hung up about it. He'd felt like a freak his whole life. Sticking himself everyday with insulin had become this incredibly private ritual for him. When we first started dating, he hid the needles in his bathroom from me. He definitely had "the talk" with me, and he expected bad things from it.

I didn't care. Within months, I was helping him stick himself with insulin. We used to call it "shooting up".

On the other hand, his out-of-bound anxieties about an early death and his non-compliances to a diabetic diet (which he called playing "russian roulette") were major issues for us.

Don't let being celiac be your issue, and it won't have to be an issue in relationships.

sickchick Community Regular
sickchick
Posted

I have only dated 1 person since my diagnosis- he lieterally claimed that he was the most patient man I would ever know, and then 3 weeks later, he said something really cold to me and I never heard from him again. (ass)

Needless to say I have been a little gunshy since the situation. BUT I have met someone in the last month and I am just going in with an open mind and heart.

Some people can deal with it and some people can't.

Good luck! B)

Let us know what happens! Just keep reminding yourself that you deserve love. :)

What I did was send him a link to some Celiac Disease info- and I told him it was just so he has an idea of what is going on with my body- and there wouldn't be any surprises! :) And I joked there wouldn't be a test on the info HAHAHA :)

peace!

sickchick

DownWithGluten Explorer
DownWithGluten
Posted

If I were going out with a guy who told me he had Celiac disease and couldn't eat gluten I would hit the internet and amaze him with my understanding. Many of us females are hard wired to be care-takers, so I really don't see a problem. Unless, of course, she is totally self-absobrd in which case ...lose her quick.

I, too, agree with this. If I was interested in a guy who suddenly lost interest when I said I had a dietary restriction...that might be a red flag of what kind of person he is. Self-absorbed, etc. Undoubtedly there might be some annoyances here in there long term...but someone who cares about you would be willing to accomodate. And if they're not...ya might want to reconsider lol.

Ahorsesoul Enthusiast
Ahorsesoul
Posted

I think this issue is something that should be said before accepting a date with someone. To me if I was dating someone for a few times and then all of a sudden they told me about something this important probably stop seeing them. I do understand that some people see this as a privacy issue but I would wonder what else they were hiding.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I think this issue is something that should be said before accepting a date with someone.

I disagree with this.

The way I choose to eat is not something shameful to be hidden, nor something alarming to be blurted out immediately. I think it should come up the first time you talk about food, and be discussed naturally. If I suggested going out for ice cream and my date said "no, I have diabetes" I'd say fine, how about a moonlight walk instead? If, on the other hand, the person made me feel like they, themselves, were unhappy with some aspect of their lives, it's the unhappiness I would react to, not the aspect itself.

sandsurfgirl Collaborator
sandsurfgirl
Posted

I think this issue is something that should be said before accepting a date with someone. To me if I was dating someone for a few times and then all of a sudden they told me about something this important probably stop seeing them. I do understand that some people see this as a privacy issue but I would wonder what else they were hiding.

I don't agree with this at all. If I'm going to go on a date with someone I don't know I do not want to hear their medical history before we've even shared a glass of wine. It's TMI and totally inappropriate. Being the guy, Jason has control over where they go anyway so he can call ahead and plan to go somewhere that will accomodate.

It's not hiding something to be appropriate and keep your medical issues for a time when you know someone a bit longer.

Jason, just be casual about it. It's not that big of a deal. When you're about to order just ask for the gluten free menu or items or whatever and tell her "I have celiac. I can't eat gluten." That's it. No details until you know her longer.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. lizzie42
      - lizzie42 posted a topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      0

      Son's legs shaking

      My 5yo was diagnosed with celiac last year by being tested after his sister was diagnosed. We are very strict on the gluten-free diet, but unsure what his reactions are as he was diagnosed without many symptoms other than low ferritin. He had a school party where his teacher made gluten-free gingerbread men. I almost said no because she made it in her...
    2. trents
      - trents replied to Paulaannefthimiou's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      1

      Bob red mill gluten free oats

      Not necessarily. The "Gluten Free" label means not more than 20ppm of gluten in the product which is often not enough for super sensitive celiacs. You would need to be looking for "Certified Gluten Free" (GFCO endorsed) which means no more than 10ppm of gluten. Having said that, "Gluten Free" doesn't mean that there will necessarily be more gluten than "Certified...
    3. trents
      - trents replied to jenniber's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      10

      Disaccharide deficient, confusing biopsy results, no blood test

      I think it is wise to seek a second opinion from a GI doc and to go on a gluten free diet in the meantime. The GI doc may look at all the evidence, including the biopsy report, and conclude you don't need anything else to reach a dx of celiac disease and so, there would be no need for a gluten challenge. But if the GI doc does want to do more testing, you...
    4. Paulaannefthimiou
      - Paulaannefthimiou posted a topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      1

      Bob red mill gluten free oats

      Are Bobresmill gluten free oats ok for sensitive celiacs?
    5. jenniber
      - jenniber replied to jenniber's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      10

      Disaccharide deficient, confusing biopsy results, no blood test

      thank you both for the insights. i agree, im going to back off on dairy and try sucraid. thanks for the tip about protein powder, i will look for whey protein powder/drinks! i don’t understand why my doctor refused to order it either. so i’ve decided i’m not going to her again, and i’m going to get a second opinion with a GI recommended to me b...
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      132,854
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Skijar
    Newest Member
    Skijar
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):

  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • lizzie42
      Son's legs shaking

      By lizzie42 · Posted

      My 5yo was diagnosed with celiac last year by being tested after his sister was diagnosed. We are very strict on the gluten-free diet, but unsure what his reactions are as he was diagnosed without many symptoms other than low ferritin.  He had a school party where his teacher made gluten-free gingerbread men. I almost said no because she made it in her kitchen but I thought it would be ok.  Next day and for a few after his behavior is awful. Hitting, rude, disrespectful. Mainly he kept saying his legs were shaking. Is this a gluten exposure symptom that anyone else gets? Also the bad behavior? 
    • trents
      Bob red mill gluten free oats

      By trents · Posted

      Not necessarily. The "Gluten Free" label means not more than 20ppm of gluten in the product which is often not enough for super sensitive celiacs. You would need to be looking for "Certified Gluten Free" (GFCO endorsed) which means no more than 10ppm of gluten. Having said that, "Gluten Free" doesn't mean that there will necessarily be more gluten than "Certified Gluten" in any given batch run. It just means there could be. 
    • trents
      Disaccharide deficient, confusing biopsy results, no blood test

      By trents · Posted

      I think it is wise to seek a second opinion from a GI doc and to go on a gluten free diet in the meantime. The GI doc may look at all the evidence, including the biopsy report, and conclude you don't need anything else to reach a dx of celiac disease and so, there would be no need for a gluten challenge. But if the GI doc does want to do more testing, you can worry about the gluten challenge at that time. But between now and the time of the appointment, if your symptoms improve on a gluten free diet, that is more evidence. Just keep in mind that if a gluten challenge is called for, the bare minimum challenge length is two weeks of the daily consumption of at least 10g of gluten, which is about the amount found in 4-6 slices of wheat bread. But, I would count on giving it four weeks to be sure.
    • Paulaannefthimiou
      Bob red mill gluten free oats

      By Paulaannefthimiou · Posted

      Are Bobresmill gluten free oats ok for sensitive celiacs?
    • jenniber
      Disaccharide deficient, confusing biopsy results, no blood test

      By jenniber · Posted

      thank you both for the insights. i agree, im going to back off on dairy and try sucraid. thanks for the tip about protein powder, i will look for whey protein powder/drinks!   i don’t understand why my doctor refused to order it either. so i’ve decided i’m not going to her again, and i’m going to get a second opinion with a GI recommended to me by someone with celiac. unfortunately my first appointment isn’t until February 17th. do you think i should go gluten free now or wait until after i meet with the new doctor? i’m torn about what i should do, i dont know if she is going to want to repeat the endoscopy, and i know ill have to be eating gluten to have a positive biopsy. i could always do the gluten challenge on the other hand if she does want to repeat the biopsy.    thanks again, i appreciate the support here. i’ve learned a lot from these boards. i dont know anyone in real life with celiac.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.