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Shared Kitchens?

TwitchyMcLurcherson

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TwitchyMcLurcherson Newbie
TwitchyMcLurcherson
Posted

I have an EXTREME reaction to gluten in any increment. It affects me neurologically, leaving me confused, blurry eyed, tremoring, tic-ing, stuttering, and unable to walk. And yet my husband absolutely REFUSES to go gluten free in the house as well. He also won't keep separate work spaces, pans, dishes, etc. He won't wash dishes separately- or keep them separately- and won't believe me about cross-contamination, even though he keeps seeing its effects. He'll leave bread crumbs on the counter, my cutting board, piled in the sink...

What on earth can I do? How do you all manage with shared space?

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tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

I am going to suggest that you two go to couples counseling. It's like telling your asthmatic spouse that you won't stop smoking in the house. If he doesn't care that you are getting sick, it's not an issue with the food that's the source of the problem - it's the person.

WestCoastGirl Apprentice
WestCoastGirl
Posted

1. You say your husband won't keep a separate space, wash dishes, etc. -- would he physically stop you from making your own space somewhere (in the garage in bins, if need be, and a college fridge or something like that) and keeping your own dishes somewhere besides right in the sink, until you're ready to wash them?

2. I am feeling a lot of anger about what you said about your husband. Just wanted you to know that. I don't have any advice. I'm a little horrified at his attitude.

Hugs to you.

I have an EXTREME reaction to gluten in any increment. It affects me neurologically, leaving me confused, blurry eyed, tremoring, tic-ing, stuttering, and unable to walk. And yet my husband absolutely REFUSES to go gluten free in the house as well. He also won't keep separate work spaces, pans, dishes, etc. He won't wash dishes separately- or keep them separately- and won't believe me about cross-contamination, even though he keeps seeing its effects. He'll leave bread crumbs on the counter, my cutting board, piled in the sink...

What on earth can I do? How do you all manage with shared space?

i-geek Rookie
i-geek
Posted

I am going to suggest that you two go to couples counseling. It's like telling your asthmatic spouse that you won't stop smoking in the house. If he doesn't care that you are getting sick, it's not an issue with the food that's the source of the problem - it's the person.

This, exactly. Sorry you're having to deal with this on top of the illness.

rdunbar Explorer
rdunbar
Posted

Hi. So sorry to hear you are going through all of this; you really need to be safe, your symptoms sound a lot like mine. I get that blurry vision, and droopy eyelid thing too.

Dr Peter Greenes' book "Celiac Disease, the hidden epidemic" has a part about cross contamination and how the gluten free diet is a legitimate medical treatment

he's from Columbia University, so this is very well accredited; hopefully something would click if he saw it in black in white from some ivy leager ??? I hope something works because as we know, he needs to take you seriously. You've been through enough!

TwitchyMcLurcherson Newbie
TwitchyMcLurcherson
Posted
  • Author

Hi. So sorry to hear you are going through all of this; you really need to be safe, your symptoms sound a lot like mine. I get that blurry vision, and droopy eyelid thing too.

Dr Peter Greenes' book "Celiac Disease, the hidden epidemic" has a part about cross contamination and how the gluten free diet is a legitimate medical treatment

he's from Columbia University, so this is very well accredited; hopefully something would click if he saw it in black in white from some ivy leager ??? I hope something works because as we know, he needs to take you seriously. You've been through enough!

Ha. The irony in this is that my husband IS an Ivy Leaguer (as am I) and the drs, neurologists, and nutritionists that diagnosed me and told me I need to avoid cross-contamination are at Harvard. That's not going to cut it. =/ Currently were screaming at each other because I threw out a couple of boxes of crackers and a loaf of bread. That'll give you some idea of what I'm up against.

TwitchyMcLurcherson Newbie
TwitchyMcLurcherson
Posted
  • Author

I am going to suggest that you two go to couples counseling. It's like telling your asthmatic spouse that you won't stop smoking in the house. If he doesn't care that you are getting sick, it's not an issue with the food that's the source of the problem - it's the person.

Oh, we're in couples' counseling for everything else already. It's not doing a thing.

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tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

Any chance, then, that this is a case of "I know what I need to do, but I don't want to have to do it"?

At the least, you may find that you have to move out - you need *someplace* that you can be safe, and it doesn't sound like it's with your husband. (And I'm just talking about food, not even the emotional aspect.)

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

Oh, we're in couples' counseling for everything else already. It's not doing a thing.

Sometimes the best approach to a bad situation is to walk away. :(

You need to do what is right for you at this point.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Oh, we're in couples' counseling for everything else already. It's not doing a thing.

I think you know what you need to do. This has nothing to do with gluten.

TwitchyMcLurcherson Newbie
TwitchyMcLurcherson
Posted
  • Author

I think you know what you need to do. This has nothing to do with gluten.

Well, regardless, there's a lot more to a marriage... and life... than a few sentences I wrote in a forum. I didn't mean to come on here looking to rant. Surely some of you have shared kitchens- how do you manage? What specific tips might you have for keeping things safe? Is it possible without owning a dishwasher? We live in a small urban apartment with two little boys, the oldest (two years old) who has to be gluten-free/cf as well due to being on the autism spectrum (and the diet is working for him!). I also seem to be allergic/intolerant to corn and casein and possibly even to soy now. Do these cross-contaminate the way gluten does?

starrytrekchic Apprentice
starrytrekchic
Posted

Surely some of you have shared kitchens- how do you manage? What specific tips might you have for keeping things safe? Is it possible without owning a dishwasher? We live in a small urban apartment with two little boys, the oldest (two years old) who has to be gluten-free/cf as well due to being on the autism spectrum (and the diet is working for him!). I also seem to be allergic/intolerant to corn and casein and possibly even to soy now. Do these cross-contaminate the way gluten does?

Hi, I share a kitchen too. I prepare my meals on the plate I'm going to eat off, that way I lessen the risk of cc'ing from counters and cutting boards. Keeping everything clean is a must, but don't feel like you need to clean the entire area, just keep the areas clean that you use.

Stainless steel pans are easier to clean. Prepare your and your son's meals first. Buy any condiments you can in a squeezable jar, rather than a dipping one. Set aside and label your own butter, peanut butter, or anything you can't buy squeezable. Be sure your husband has these same things available that he can use for himself.

Watch your husband for a few days and see how he prepares his meals. That'll clue you in to which areas of the kitchen might be cc'd. Wash your hands a lot, and never eat any food you've dropped on the counter or floor.

If you can have a separate cabinet for gluten free stuff--the sort that can be cc'd like jars of peanut butter, that'll help.

Washing dishes is trickier. A dishwasher is fine, and you can put both glutened and non-glutened dishes in together and they'll come out fine (that's what I do), but since you don't have one, I'm not sure what you should do. Maybe clean your dishes as soon as you're done with them and leave the rest for your husband?

For cooking you might need aluminum foil, if you have one of those toaster ovens, for cooking things on. That way you don't have to clean the oven racks. Obviously things like shared toasters are out.

I'm not positive about cc'ing from corn and soy, but if you're just intolerant of them, not allergic, then a little cc'ing from them should be fine. Casein *might* be more problematic, but I'm not sure on that.

Hope this helps.

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

It's not that you can't have a mixed kitchen, it's that - unless you do a thorough, deep clean of the kitchen EVERY TIME YOU GO IN THERE, the people sharing the kitchen have to do their part as well. If he is leaving bread crumbs on your cutting board (as you say in your first post), he isn't even close to doing his part - he is knowingly making you sick. And, apparently, knowingly making your child sick. (We tend to take a strong stance on people doing that on this board.)

The only advice I can give for trying to eat in a situation where your environment is traced with a poison is to eat somewhere else. Prepare food in the bathroom or garage and on paper plates with plastic utensils.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I think what got to us was that your husband will not help you and the child be gluten-free. Infact, he seems to be sabotaging your efforts. I have a shared kitchen. My husband does not use my cutting board, colander, etc unless its for something gluten-free. They keep the bread and their toaster, crackers, etc on one counter. They get the sliced cheese out and put it on a plate before they touch the bread. Bread crumbs get washed down the sink immediately. I have my own butter, Pb, etc. I got a roll of red tape. I put that on my butter tub so that they don't get crumbs in it.

All this stuff works well for us, but my Hub and kids want to keep me safe and feeling well even if it's a little inconvenient for them.

  • 1 year later...
violentlyserene Rookie
violentlyserene
Posted

Well, regardless, there's a lot more to a marriage... and life... than a few sentences I wrote in a forum. I didn't mean to come on here looking to rant. Surely some of you have shared kitchens- how do you manage? What specific tips might you have for keeping things safe? Is it possible without owning a dishwasher? We live in a small urban apartment with two little boys, the oldest (two years old) who has to be gluten-free/cf as well due to being on the autism spectrum (and the diet is working for him!). I also seem to be allergic/intolerant to corn and casein and possibly even to soy now. Do these cross-contaminate the way gluten does?

I'm still working out the kinks in all this but I have created a separate section of the kitchen for myself. Gluten stuff is a different color or type than gluten free and they aren't stored together. Something like a big rubbermaid tub might be helpful for storing food if you can't get cubboard space. I use one for gluten-free dishes. Anything that I've used goes into that bucket so it can be washed seperately. Most of my food is marked (not all since we don't eat the same kinds of foods).

pondy Contributor
pondy
Posted

Well, regardless, there's a lot more to a marriage... and life... than a few sentences I wrote in a forum. I didn't mean to come on here looking to rant. Surely some of you have shared kitchens- how do you manage? What specific tips might you have for keeping things safe? Is it possible without owning a dishwasher? We live in a small urban apartment with two little boys, the oldest (two years old) who has to be gluten-free/cf as well due to being on the autism spectrum (and the diet is working for him!). I also seem to be allergic/intolerant to corn and casein and possibly even to soy now. Do these cross-contaminate the way gluten does?

I'm sorry that you're going through all this...

I share a kitchen with no dishwasher also. Here's what helps me:

Wipe down counter surfaces before I do anything.

Use lots of paper towels & tin foil.

Have a designated (top) shelf in the fridge, and a cupboard for my own for gluten-free food.

Use a clean dish rag each time I do dishes.

All best to you.

By the way, I don't know about corn, casein, soy cc but I'd err on the side of caution and say yes it's possible.

cyberprof Enthusiast
cyberprof
Posted

1. You say your husband won't keep a separate space, wash dishes, etc. -- would he physically stop you from making your own space somewhere (in the garage in bins, if need be, and a college fridge or something like that) and keeping your own dishes somewhere besides right in the sink, until you're ready to wash them?2. I am feeling a lot of anger about what you said about your husband. Just wanted you to know that. I don't have any advice. I'm a little horrified at his attitude.

Hugs to you.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

FYI.

This poster hasn't been on since March. This thread was a year ago. She may not answer you and has hopefully sorted this out. :)

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

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