Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Christmas Dinner Woes

georgie

By georgie
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

georgie Enthusiast
georgie
Posted

My extended family still don't get this gluten-free diet. The latest is that I have been told not to come to Christmas dinner as I have 'that funny diet'. It is really annoying and I feel hurt. My sister in law is one of those who pretends to be gluten-free sometimes but eats regular food as well. So are my cousins. So they think I am being OTT silly about the whole idea. I have been gluten-free for 4 years now and they have made no attempt to learn about it. There was a birthday party last month I was not invited to either. Husband is supportive - he sees how sick I get with a cc reaction. We will have a quiet Christmas and gluten-free meals ourselves. But I still feel hurt... :(

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


sandsurfgirl Collaborator
sandsurfgirl
Posted

Your post makes me want to cry. To tell someone not to come to Christmas is... I have no words. I'm so sorry.

sandsurfgirl Collaborator
sandsurfgirl
Posted

Who exactly asked you not to come? One mean person or the whole family? Maybe you need to just go. They can't isolate you from your family! That's just crazy!

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

My extended family still don't get this gluten-free diet. The latest is that I have been told not to come to Christmas dinner as I have 'that funny diet'. It is really annoying and I feel hurt. My sister in law is one of those who pretends to be gluten-free sometimes but eats regular food as well. So are my cousins. So they think I am being OTT silly about the whole idea. I have been gluten-free for 4 years now and they have made no attempt to learn about it. There was a birthday party last month I was not invited to either. Husband is supportive - he sees how sick I get with a cc reaction. We will have a quiet Christmas and gluten-free meals ourselves. But I still feel hurt... :(

Prepare your own Christmas dinner, heat it in the microwave, and ask them what all the fuss is about??? :o This is ridiculous. You can handle it, and them. The important thing is not to make a big deal of it. Don't talk about it, bring your own snacks (in your pocket if you have to), and let them see that it is not a problem. If it's not a problem for you, how can it be a problem for them. So you don't eat their food? One less mouth they have to feed :lol:

georgie Enthusiast
georgie
Posted
  • Author

It was my mother. The Christmas dinner is at s-i-l's and brothers. Mum runs the brothers and tells everyone what they need to do. I am unsure if the gluten-free food is just an excuse and there is some other reason for this.

We can't be bothered to fight. Perhaps s-i-l and brother just don't want us there. But then Mum does go around totally confusing people about my 'funny diet'. Which is not helped by the s-i-l and cousins eating cc all the time - but claiming to be "gluten-free".

Who exactly asked you not to come? One mean person or the whole family? Maybe you need to just go. They can't isolate you from your family! That's just crazy!

missy'smom Collaborator
missy'smom
Posted

Oh, my! I'm so sorry this is happening to you :( If it's any consolation, my grandmother would told our mom not to bring the kids(us) for Xmas as she didn't want us to mess up her white sofa and carpet. Never really got to know the woman. That's OK, our other grandma(Dad's mom) more then made up for it. Are there other folks who's company you could enjoy, not necessarliy for a dinner but just to spend some time with in some way to share Christmas in some way with?

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

How awful! But I imagine this isn't entirely a surprise. Your mother has some other issue besides the diet. I suspect that if it wasn't a different diet, it would be something else.

That is unless you are a demanding b :ph34r: about the food. Demanding they must cook what you can eat and in a certain way. But you seem like a reasonable person from your post. :)

If you are worried that your mom is telling the rest of the family that you don't want to come, you might call each one and just calmly tell them that is not the case. They may not know whats really going on.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Hi georgie--goodness, I'm so sorry. Can you call your SIL directly and tell her you will bring your own food--all you will need to do is microwave it and no one needs to worry about what you can and can't eat?

serenajane Apprentice
serenajane
Posted

My extended family still don't get this gluten-free diet. The latest is that I have been told not to come to Christmas dinner as I have 'that funny diet'. It is really annoying and I feel hurt. My sister in law is one of those who pretends to be gluten-free sometimes but eats regular food as well. So are my cousins. So they think I am being OTT silly about the whole idea. I have been gluten-free for 4 years now and they have made no attempt to learn about it. There was a birthday party last month I was not invited to either. Husband is supportive - he sees how sick I get with a cc reaction. We will have a quiet Christmas and gluten-free meals ourselves. But I still feel hurt... :(

Wow hope you aren't offended but it seems like you have some real (JERKS) in your family.

I can see asking to bring something that you can eat because they can't be sure of gluten in foods but to ask you not to come how terrible.

my sister in-law has tweaked Thanksgiving dinner for me

she isn't going to stuff the bird and she will use organic gluten-free broth as well to insure I can enjoy a meal

she will leave the flour out of the topping on sweet potato casserole so I can have it.

I am very sorry you have to put up with such ignorance how UNKIND!!! :(

Nor-TX Enthusiast
Nor-TX
Posted

Isn't it funny how the holidays bring out the best in people and the worst in people? How sad for you, but even sadder for your family because they will not be a complete family for the holiday.. I believe they probably already live fragmented lives... :(

Rowena Rising Star
Rowena
Posted

That is so depressing! Whatever happened to the Christmas spirit? It ain't about the food for heaven's sake. It ain't about the presents. Its about the togetherness and the warm feeling you get when you give to others. And it is about Christ's gift to us, himself. I think maybe your family needs a little reminder of what Christmas is about. This is so sad. You can come to my house for Christmas. *hug* And besides aren't families supposed to be there for you no matter what?

I am sorry. What your family is doing is not fair, and I wish there were something I could do for you.

lynnelise Apprentice
lynnelise
Posted

How sad! :( I can see why your feelings are hurt. I hope you and your husband have a great Christmas together!

jess-gf Explorer
jess-gf
Posted

You are right to feel hurt, I would be! This sounds like there are some other issues going on and they're just using gluten-free as a scapegoat. It's about them. Maybe you and your hubby can go somewhere special that night to have fun, or volunteer at a homeless shelter or something :)

nutralady2001 Newbie
nutralady2001
Posted

i am so sorry Georgie! I too wonder if there are deeper issues here.

Tell them you'll bring your own food (make it "Christmassy" and VERY appealing) all you need is a microwave to heat it and see what they say then.

I am so lucky. I usually go to my daughter's and she always checks with me and reads labels then asks if she isn't sure.

If you lived close by you could have Christmas lunch with us, no worries about food or c/c......... ((((hugs))))

sahm-i-am Apprentice
sahm-i-am
Posted

I am so sorry you have to deal with this, but there are some great posts above for ideas. I LOVE the ideas about going to a dear friends house, someone who accepts you and whom you want to be around. I second the idea of helping in a homeless shelter/soup kitchen. I guess this is the chance to create your own new traditions for your immediate family.

But still, it does stink that family can be that way.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. asaT
      - asaT replied to Scott Adams's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      48

      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      plant sources of calcium, such as spinach, have calcium bound to oxalates, which is not good. best source of calcium is unfortunately dairy, do you tolerate dairy? fermented dairy like kefir is good and or a little hard cheese. i do eat dairy, i can only take so much dietary restriction and gluten is hard enough! but i guess some people do have bad reactions...
    2. asaT
      - asaT replied to Scott Adams's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      48

      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      i take b12, folate, b2, b6, glycine, Nac, zinc, vk2 mk4, magnesium, coq10, pqq, tmg, creatine, omega 3, molybdnem (sp) and just started vit d. quite a list i know. I have high homocysteine (last checked it was 19, but is always high and i finally decided to do something about it) and very low vitamin d, 10. have been opposed to this supp in the past...
    3. nanny marley
      - nanny marley replied to hjayne19's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      20

      Insomnia help

      Great advise there I agree with the aniexty part, and the aura migraine has I suffer both, I've also read some great books that have helped I'm going too look the one you mentioned up too thankyou for that, I find a camomile tea just a small one and a gentle wind down before bed has helped me too, I suffer from restless leg syndrome and nerve pain hence I...
    4. nanny marley
      - nanny marley replied to wellthatsfun's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      4

      nothing has changed

      I agree there I've tryed this myself to prove I can't eat gluten or lactose and it sets me back for about a month till I have to go back to being very strict to settle again
    5. trents
      - trents replied to Scott Adams's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      48

      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      You may also need to supplement with B12 as this vitamin is also involved in iron assimilation and is often deficient in long-term undiagnosed celiac disease.
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      133,342
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Muhammad
    Newest Member
    Muhammad
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.6k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):

  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • asaT
      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      By asaT · Posted

      plant sources of calcium, such as spinach, have calcium bound to oxalates, which is not good. best source of calcium is unfortunately dairy, do you tolerate dairy? fermented dairy like kefir is good and or a little hard cheese. i do eat dairy, i can only take so much dietary restriction and gluten is hard enough! but i guess some people do have bad reactions to it, so different for everyone.  
    • asaT
      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      By asaT · Posted

      i take b12, folate, b2, b6, glycine, Nac, zinc, vk2 mk4, magnesium, coq10, pqq, tmg, creatine, omega 3, molybdnem (sp) and just started vit d. quite a list i know.  I have high homocysteine (last checked it was 19, but is always high and i finally decided to do something about it) and very low vitamin d, 10. have been opposed to this supp in the past, but going to try it at 5k units a day. having a pth test on friday, which is suspect will be high. my homocysteine has come down to around 9 with 3 weeks of these supplements and expect it to go down further. i also started on estrogen/progesterone. I have osteoporosis too, so that is why the hormones.  anyway, i think all celiacs should have homocysteine checked and treated if needed (easy enough with b vit, tmg). homocysteine very bad thing to be high for a whole host of reasons. all the bad ones, heart attack , stroke, alzi, cancer..... one of the most annoying things about celiacs (and there are so many!) is the weight gain. i guess i stayed thin all those years being undiagnosed because i was under absorbing everything including calories. going gluten-free and the weight gain has been terrible, 30#, but i'm sure a lot more went into that (hip replacement - and years of hip pain leading to inactivity when i was previously very active, probably all related to celiacs, menopause) yada yada. i seemed to lose appetite control, like there was low glp, or leptin or whatever all those hormones are that tell you that you are full and to stop eating. my appetite is immense and i'm never full. i guess decades or more ( i think i have had celiacs since at least my teens - was hospitalized for abdominal pain and diarrhea for which spastic colon was eventually diagnosed and had many episodes of diarrhea/abdominal pain through my 20's. but that symptom seemed to go away and i related it to dairy much more so than gluten. Also my growth was stunted, i'm the only shorty in my family. anyway, decades of malabsorption and maldigestion led to constant hunger, at least thats my theory. then when i started absorbing normally, wham!! FAT!!!    
    • nanny marley
      Insomnia help

      By nanny marley · Posted

      Great advise there I agree with the aniexty part, and the aura migraine has I suffer both, I've also read some great books that have helped I'm going too look the one you mentioned up too thankyou for that, I find a camomile tea just a small one and a gentle wind down before bed has helped me too, I suffer from restless leg syndrome and nerve pain hence I don't always sleep well at the best of times , racing mind catches up I have decorated my whole house in one night in my mind before 🤣 diet changes mindset really help , although I have to say it never just disappears, I find once I came to terms with who I am I managed a lot better  , a misconception is for many to change , that means to heal but that's not always the case , understanding and finding your coping mechanisms are vital tools , it's more productive to find that because there is no failure then no pressure to become something else , it's ok to be sad it's ok to not sleep , it's ok to worry , just try to see it has a journey not a task 🤗
    • nanny marley
      nothing has changed

      By nanny marley · Posted

      I agree there I've tryed this myself to prove I can't eat gluten or lactose and it sets me back for about a month till I have to go back to being very strict to settle again 
    • trents
      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      By trents · Posted

      You may also need to supplement with B12 as this vitamin is also involved in iron assimilation and is often deficient in long-term undiagnosed celiac disease.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.