Eating Gluten Free At Others Houses

[Ally1978]

I have been diagnosed Celiac and have been eating Gluten free for 2 months now. I struggle with eating at my inlaws or at friends houses. How do I go about approaching my dietary needs without being ignorant? Also, My MIL and her husband aren't very knowledgeable in general with healthy eating and now to add Celiac is just over the top. I would cook for myself except they are so proud when they have cooled a gluten free meal......except its not completely gluten free and I end up sick.... How do I educate them?

[butterfl8]

I say, "and I'll bring my own food, since I hate to get sick and miss out on your company." (even if the company part may not be entirely true!) If they need more explanation, you can add in how the pots and pans that they use can still have traces of gluten in them, and cooking utensils, and in order to keep YOURSELF (so they don't worry about it all being thier 'fault') from being overly anxious about the food situation, you prefer to bring your own meal. If they keep insisting? Tell them if you get even the slightest bit sick, it sets you back in your healing, and nothing is more important than you getting one hundred percent better.

This worked on my own CELIAC family, who didn't understand that I was more sensitive than they were. I brought my meal to Easter the first year (after a disasterous Thanksgiving, and Christmas), and that got the point across. BE MORE CAREFUL!!!

-Daisy

[GlutenFreeManna]

I have been diagnosed Celiac and have been eating Gluten free for 2 months now. I struggle with eating at my inlaws or at friends houses. How do I go about approaching my dietary needs without being ignorant? Also, My MIL and her husband aren't very knowledgeable in general with healthy eating and now to add Celiac is just over the top. I would cook for myself except they are so proud when they have cooled a gluten free meal......except its not completely gluten free and I end up sick.... How do I educate them?

First, you MUST tell them you have been getting sick when you go there. I know you think this will crush them or offend them but it's worse if you never tell them. They may think this gluten thing is all in your head since they snuck a little in and you didn't die on the spot or complain of being sick later. Or they may just think a little doesn't hurt and they are careless with CC. It's also possible that their kitchen will never be safe despite their best efforts--the food is cooked in scratched non-stick or MIL always bakes a cake while dinner's on the stove. There are just too many factors to consider. Instead of tryign to educate them and ask them to make their kitchen safe for you it would be better to just insist on bringing your own food. Tell them the truth that you have been getting sick but also tell them you just don't want to be a bother to them/it's so compliated/you have learned so many ways of cc/you can't ask them to get new pans, etc. Your only other option if you are really close to them you could go and cook with them to supervise everything but again if she made a cake in the kitchen the same day you could get sick.

[cahill]

Honestly ,I have given up trying to educate my family, they just plain dont want to hear it . My friends understand ( as well as I can expect them to ) and allow me to serve my self first so it lowers the risk of CC.

What I do is : eat before I go,take a dish to share I can eat (normally a casserole and a dessert ), and serve my self first .

[rosetapper23]

I have one important rule: Never, never, NEVER eat at other people's homes unless they have a dedicated gluten-free kitchen. I say the same thing about potlucks and picnics. I simply bring my own food to everything and explain (apologize) in advance to the hostess or host. Sometimes I feel as though people's feelings are somewhat hurt, but that's not nearly as bad as being ill for many months afterward.

[cap6]

I agree - take your own food. I haved said that the more I heal the more sensitive I have become (that part is true). My bff prides herself on being able to cook a gluten-free meal for me, she even wears disposable gloves... but I am having second thoughts about that too. It's the "whole kitchen that I don't have control over" thing. Although I will eat out but only if they are GIG certified.

[Takala]

You either BYOGFF or invite them to your house and cook for them.

"I have learned that I am super sensitive to the slightest cross contamination .... I've been told that shared kitchens just can't work for me anymore.... I can't believe I have to be this careful, but it looks like the gluten molecule is indestructible.... some say it's like a prion .... just let me take the burden off of you trying to cope with this microscopic flora, and let me do the cooking...." something like that.

[obaketenshi]

I am wondering this myself, with the added family holiday thing. I have 6 months to prepare, but I fear I won't be able to eat ANYTHING at their family gathering, but still be expected to attend. I think I can get through to my father in law, but not so sure about MIL. Neither of them are voiced in dealing with any sort of food allergy.

[kareng]

The fact is that even something like carrots and ranch dip at someone else's house is risky. They may have rinsed the carrots in the pasta colander, for example.

I just eat first or bring my own food. If I bring a dish to share, I bring a separate portion for me. Its hard sometimes to get the first serving. I also tell people "My doctor told me..." This works well for some people, especially my parents.

[domesticactivist]

They've said it all and I'll add my voice to the chorus. Bring your own food! Tell them about the cross contamination risk and the fact you got sick.

I decided to go ahead and eat at my mom's last night, since my son wasn't going to be there and they were being careful to make things gluten free. (we are extremely vigilant where my son is concerned) I don't know if it was the conventional (not organic) foods or the cc that got me but I had a bad night/morning and I'm not even celiac.

[GlutenFreeManna]

The fact is that even something like carrots and ranch dip at someone else's house is risky.

Ditto this. I ate nothing but carrots and a few whole strawberries at a baby shower once and was sick later. Looking back I remembered the table had crackers, cookies, and cupcakes. I got my food before there were crumbs everywhere, but if the hostess put out the cookies and crackers before putting out the carrots she probably didn't think to wash her hands in between handling the different foods.

[sb2178]

I have a limited selection of friends and family who I have trained:

1) very close friend who keeps gluten-free crackers for me and is already obsessed about microbes, so adding gluten to her contamination mindset was fairly easy. mostly it's veg, rice and daal, or cheese, crackers, and wine when I'm there.

2) my aunt (we got the concept of clean butter across and then all was clear).

3) a work colleague who is an RD.

I do a lot of cooking at my aunt's, and always have, so it's a collaborative kitchen. I'll also cook when I'm at grandparents or friend's houses. Otherwise, it's BYO or just eating chips and salsa if I open the containers. I'm not supersensitive, and eat out regularly. I get a dose occasionally when eating out, but usually not.

[cap6]

Ditto this. I ate nothing but carrots and a few whole strawberries at a baby shower once and was sick later. Looking back I remembered the table had crackers, cookies, and cupcakes. I got my food before there were crumbs everywhere, but if the hostess put out the cookies and crackers before putting out the carrots she probably didn't think to wash her hands in between handling the different foods.

I watched a friend, who insisted she could prepare for me, empty the gluten crackers into a bowl then turn and rinse (!) her hands - No soap washing - while telling me how careful she is. Not!!

I have had to re-educate some friends as in the beginning i would eat at a friend's if they were careful to keep things separate but have learned the hard way that that is not good enough.

obaketenshi _- Holidays were a little rough but take plenty of your own food. I made my own stuffing, fav potatoes & veggies at home & brought it . I have found that it is easier if you can take some similar foods of your own along, you don't feel so out of place. Oh, and my wonderful partner drove 1 hour just to get me a gluten-free pie. And the best part, I didn't have to share with anyone, got it all myself. :D