Repercussions Of Cheating! :(

[ravenwoodglass]

I ate gluten because I had nothing else.

I am on food assistance. I NEVER like to admit that.

We always have to make sure we have something safe with us. Whether it is an apple, a baggie with Snyder's gluten-free pretzels and raisens with some chocolate chips tossed in, some cheese and a baggie of crakers, a banana or a gluten free cookie or whatever you like that is portable it is very important to have something safe on hand for the times when those around us just have to go eat somewhere we can't. Or make sure you eat at home before you go rushing out the door.

If you have a food pantry near by let them know you are gluten free. They can give you rice instead of pasta and some may even sub in more fruits and veggies for the stuff like the soup and pasta that they might normally give out. If you haven't already checked to see if your town has one do so. No one likes to go to them but they can make a big difference.

It is hard when our food budgets are so limited. Many of us here struggle also. If you haven't done a lot of cooking it can be hard at first. Go for simple stuff. I eat a lot of rice, ground beef, chicken, frozen veggies and fruits and beans. Some of the easy stuff that is quick are many prepared pasta sauces, Minute Rice, Dinty Moore Beef stew, most sandwich meats etc are all examples of everyday non-specialty (read not expensive) foods that are safe. For your favorite stuff that you already use just stick the name in a search engine with the words 'gluten free' and many times the companies gluten statis will show up. Do check out the recipe section.

I am glad your latest reaction has convinced you to stick to the diet. Your kids need you and you need you to be healthy.

[GFinDC]

I know you are probably just kidding here, but I did not write my heartfelt post with the intent of "pounding on a newbie".

I wanted her to see that she has to eliminate gluten once and for all so she can feel better --not keep dabbling in it --and it does not help the situation to have it characterized that way.

Well, she understands that in her first post in this thread. She said shje wan't going to "cheat" anymore after her MCD experience.

SERIOUSLY????????

...

I am hurting with joint pain...

....

I think it's great that most of you have an easy time with this. I am not.

Where are the "YAY! You "get it"" Posts? Or the "Good for you for realizing the repercussions" posts?

instead, I am met with the critical posts making my experiences about everyone else but me??

So much for support.

What a negative environment WOW.

If a white horse means treating others THIS way, I'd rather do without, thanks. I left high school 22 years ago.

**POOF** Color me out.

OK, I agree with you on the support aspect. Sometimes people here seem to forget what if feels like to be new to the gluten-free diet. It is not a simple change for many people, and it is not easy for many people when they start out. Heck, some people know they need to be gluten-free and just refuse to do it. They live in denial and go on eating gluten and making themselves sick. That's a sad situation.

I made the white horse comments as kind of a joking way to let the other posters hopefully see that they were being a little strident towards you. Unfortunately whenever a topic title comes up with the word "cheating" people get all agitated and strident in their phrasing and bascially go overboard on it. It's an overreaction in my opinion that happens repeatedly on celiac com and is not helpful to new people. I don't think people always consider how it feels to receive such fourceful comments as a new person to the forum.

You said you were sticking to the diet in the first post, but they didn't pay attention to that. The word "cheating" turned on their response to squash all thoughts of any cheating by anyone, anywhere ever.

Well, that's a sad thing, because these people are actually very nice individuals and extremely helpful to new people most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I don't think cheating on the gluten-free diet is good either. But I don't think every mention of the word deserves an extreme reaction.

But I have learned that that's how people here do things and it just doesn't make sense to me. I've probably done the same thing myself at times, but I try not to anymore.

I am sorry also that you got such a "loud" response, just because you said the word "cheating".

FYI, nightshades can often cause joint pain, and soy. Nightshades are potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, and eggplant.

I spend less money on food than before going gluten-free. After a while you can learn to eat simpler foods and avoid all the processed foods. All that packaging and extra cehmicals and advertising costs money, and that cost is passed on to you in the prodct price.

Please give the members here another chance, as they are a great bunch of people usually. Just don't say that "C" word again. and you will see what I mean.

[IrishHeart]

i am poor, too. (husband has worked the same job for 15 years too! and is now *back up* to 2/3 of his pay/work schedule. for now. who knows what this wonderful economy will bring??) it sucks and blows at the same time. but, mcdonalds came 'off the table' when i was diagnosed - out of respect for this wonderful man who watches me spend his hard earned cash on a six-dollar loaf of bread and boar's head lunchmeat while i buy the cheap stuff to feed him. you can adjust your food bill (i can buy 6 loaves of 'regular' bread or one loaf of udis - i get it) he insists i do not go back to work because he is so worried i won't eat right (i was 97 lbs i am 5'7" tall - he was watching me starve to death pre-diagnosis) or that someone will cc me and i will be sick sick sick again. if you need cheap ideas, pm me i'm so tight i squeak!!.... stay healthy - i try extra hard for that guy who worries so about his wife. he must like her a little.

Okay, I have tears in my eyes right now. I have a hubs like yours. My recovery is all that matters to him as I am sure the OP's hubs feels the same way.

If you were standing right here in front of me right now, I would give you the biggest hug. Simply put, you rock, girl!

[IrishHeart]

. Sometimes people here seem to forget what if feels like to be new to the gluten-free diet. It is not a simple change for many people, and it is not easy for many people when they start out. Heck, some people know they need to be gluten-free and just refuse to do it. They live in denial and go on eating gluten and making themselves sick. That's a sad situation.

It's an overreaction in my opinion that happens repeatedly on celiac com and is not helpful to new people. I don't think people always consider how it feels to receive such fourceful comments as a new person to the forum.

You said you were sticking to the diet in the first post, but they didn't pay attention to that.

Wow.

The loving members of this community have all been listening and helping the OP for weeks. She said herself she is "off and on" gluten and her many posts (and one thread just a few days ago) reflect someone who is not really understanding this is not an "on and off " option.

I am a very empathetic person --to a fault sometimes-- and I am not really appreciating being painted in any other way.

Did I not compile the Newbie 101 thread BECAUSE I understood how difficult it is to begin a gluten-free life? I spend hours and hours on here helping the newly diagnosed BECAUSE I understand how difficult it is.

This response today--- from these caring members--- is not just because of THIS post. It is because they have been worried about her for weeks!! And they have answered her many posts, trying to help.

But, this post was one more indication that she is not getting the fact that there can be NO gluten in her diet anymore---or she will still feel lousy.

It's not about "Cheating". It's about learning to live with celiac and adapting and not making excuses.

No one is judging. No one is "over reacting". On the contrary, they just care.

[IrishHeart]

And one more thing .....because it was not lost on me, because I DO READ every single word someone writes--

Colleen, my sweet!!

My love and support to you. I know we talk on PMs, but I want you to know that I hold you in my thoughts every single day.

Your are a warrior princess, honey. Keep me posted.

And for the record, with all due respect,

I do not know why I need anyone to chastise me or to apologize on my behalf for anything I said , as I simply offered words in support.

As we all did.

NOTE: This AM, 2 members have expressed the same discomfort at having their words "interpreted as pounding on her " and did not like having someone apologize on their behalf either.

This is a forum of support, not enabling.

I will never, ever say eating at McDonald's is a good thing. Sorry. I won't.

With all loving kindness, IH

[Adalaide]

As pointed out, this wasn't a reaction to a single post. There was much loving guidance given over weeks. It didn't sink in. Many of us, frustrated and seeing someone literally killing herself in front of her children and husband, thought that at this point maybe cold, hard reality upside the head would sink in where everything else failed. It wasn't out of anything else but the same caring we feel for everyone in this situation but nothing was getting through and an attempt needed to be made to make her see she is going to spiral down the path many here have been on if she doesn't get it together.

Know what? I cried and cried too, in stores, at home, everywhere. We all did. I haven't forgotten what it is like to be new at this. I also never once considered throwing in the towel and saying it isn't worth the effort. In my very first post here, a week gluten free what did I say? I explained my story and asked for reassurance that I'm not crazy, that it gets easier and for encouragement. I never wanted an out.

Another admission, I'm on food stamps. There. I manage just fine. I stay away from gluten free foods meant to replace gluten foods with the exception of one single loaf of bread a month. I eat vegetables, fruits, meats and naturally gluten free grains. It is actually far cheaper now than it was a year ago to eat. I find that now I actually have the spare money to occasionally indulge in "fancy" $5 salad dressing I've always wanted to try or something like that. Because I'm not wasting all my money on processed, nutritionally devoid crap. And, this is a problem lots of people have and I used to too, if you have money for McDonalds, you have money for more important things. Unless you are literally dying, (as in low blood sugar, in which case a sugary soda for $1 will help while not a great option) we, collectively as celiacs, are better off hungry than eating something unsafe.

[IrishHeart]

Addy,

oh hon, you did not have to disclose that information, sweetie....but "good on you" for showing solidarity.

Ravenwoodglass and Not me! and others have offered assistance with meal planning, too.

I hope the OP sees we ARE IN HER CORNER and the best support she could ever have.

That's all I ever tried to do. I think I am done here.

My best wishes to all. xx

[Celiac Mindwarp]

OP

I hope you can see people want to help. We were scared for you. It is great you have decided never to eat gluten again.

I lost my job and am now to sick to work. Our income is a third what it used to be. I had to move house because of it to a new cheaper town. I have picked up loads of tips on money saving here.

I hope you can stay on the board. Maybe see if there is a support group near you

More good wishes

[Gemini]

And one more thing .....because it was not lost on me, because I DO READ every single word someone writes--

Colleen, my sweet!!

My love and support to you. I know we talk on PMs, but I want you to know that I hold you in my thoughts every single day.

Your are a warrior princess, honey. Keep me posted.

And for the record, with all due respect,

I do not know why I need anyone to chastise me or to apologize on my behalf for anything I said , as I simply offered words in support.

As we all did.

NOTE: This AM, 2 members have expressed the same discomfort at having their words "interpreted as pounding on her " and did not like having someone apologize on their behalf either.

This is a forum of support, not enabling.

I will never, ever say eating at McDonald's is a good thing. Sorry. I won't.

With all loving kindness, IH

Nice reply, IrishHeart! I couldn't have said it better. Thank you!

Let it be known that no one should do a blanket apology for anyone else. The OP deserved the verbal spank that she got. To come on a Celiac forum where the vast majority of people are trying hard to better their health and be taken seriously for once in their lives, and admit to repeated cheating and then laughing it off, even with adding the disclaimer that they have learned their lesson, is insulting to everyone trying hard to be gluten-free. I can see cheating for maybe a month until reality sets in but more than that, you deserve what you get. I don't like snarky attitudes and I don't like people back-peddling and apologizing for perceived bad behavior. Adults do not behave that way....in theory, that is. Reality seems to say otherwise.

I'm sure the OP will be back when her gluten head clears and she is ready to take this seriously. There is too much good information here and the support system could not be better.

[Gemini]

Another admission, I'm on food stamps. There. I manage just fine. I stay away from gluten free foods meant to replace gluten foods with the exception of one single loaf of bread a month. I eat vegetables, fruits, meats and naturally gluten free grains. It is actually far cheaper now than it was a year ago to eat. I find that now I actually have the spare money to occasionally indulge in "fancy" $5 salad dressing I've always wanted to try or something like that. Because I'm not wasting all my money on processed, nutritionally devoid crap. And, this is a problem lots of people have and I used to too, if you have money for McDonalds, you have money for more important things. Unless you are literally dying, (as in low blood sugar, in which case a sugary soda for $1 will help while not a great option) we, collectively as celiacs, are better off hungry than eating something unsafe.

Addy...as a working person with a good job, I am only too happy to provide food assistance, through my taxes, to those falling on harder times....especially those who try so hard to eat healthy and gluten free. Good for you! I wish everyone had your mentality about food. Receiving assistance, when needed, should not be something to hide. It is expensive to eat healthy, as opposed to eating garbage, but it's money well spent.

[GF Lover]

I am also on Federal Assistance, I receive Social Security Disability. I am eternally grateful that I do. Like others with limited funds, I do just fine getting healthy food.

Let's see, a meal at McDonalds is about 5 bucks or something (I haven't been there in so long I can't remember). That will get me a loaf of bread that will last for a few weeks.

One word, "priorities"

Colleen

[GFinDC]

Nice reply, IrishHeart! I couldn't have said it better. Thank you!

Let it be known that no one should do a blanket apology for anyone else. The OP deserved the verbal spank that she got. To come on a Celiac forum where the vast majority of people are trying hard to better their health and be taken seriously for once in their lives, and admit to repeated cheating and then laughing it off, even with adding the disclaimer that they have learned their lesson, is insulting to everyone trying hard to be gluten-free. I can see cheating for maybe a month until reality sets in but more than that, you deserve what you get. I don't like snarky attitudes and I don't like people back-peddling and apologizing for perceived bad behavior. Adults do not behave that way....in theory, that is. Reality seems to say otherwise.

I'm sure the OP will be back when her gluten head clears and she is ready to take this seriously. There is too much good information here and the support system could not be better.

Ok, I shouldn't apologize on behalf of other people. You certainly can do that yourselves if you want to.

The OP said clearly in the first post she was not planning to cheat anymore and had learned her lesson the hard way. Why she deserves to be jumped on for not being a perfect gluten-free-er right off the bat is not clear to me. Maybe she should be exactly like you Gemini and IH, and do things exactly as you see fit? Are you her boss? Are you so superior she needs to cowtow to you? I don't think you are. Is your advice so perfect that anybody who disagrees with it is automatically wrong?

If she wants to make a joke about her mistake that is her business. It's not some terrible crime. People joke about celiac on this forum all the time.

I happen to know she was offended by the comments made and may not want to stay on the forum. That is unfortunate as this is a great support forum in many ways. But there is always room for improvement. Normally people here are welcoming and very helpful, including Gemini and IH. But expecting new people to be exactly in tune with your thinking right away is not right. Everybody deserves respect and time to adapt to the change needed to be completely gluten-free. It is easy for some people and it is harder for others. Some people who had more serious symptoms before gluten-free probably found it easy to stick to the gluten-free diet. Others who had less serious symptoms may not have the same motivation. That doesn't mean they are not good people and don't deserve respect and support.

If all your comments are so perfectly ok, why was she offended? Ask yourself that and answer it honestly.

[GottaSki]

Hi Everyone!

I've read this entire thread and think this is a shining example of how the electronic word can be misunderstood by many.

Perhaps if we were able to sit around one of our kitchen tables and chat together we would see the love and compassion of everyone along with the conviction and epiphony moments clearly.

How about we call this thread done?

To A8: I am thankful that you now see the neccessity of removing all possible gluten from your life and hope you'll come back for support. I think if you look back at your other threads you'll find you have rec'd just that and you are welcome to look for help as you transition to your new gluten-free life.

Hang in there

[GFinDC]

i do apologise myself to IH and Gemeni for being critcial. They are both very helpful to people on this forum and great contributers and sources of wonderful advice. I agree that it is the internet disconnect that causes these kind of misunderstandings. It is just not the same as being face to face with someone. And I know very well they and all the other commenters mean the OP well. Please accept my applogy, as you do deserve one.

[IrishHeart]

Hon, we ALL want to help. It's not just an internet "disconnect"....

I am glad we chatted privately. I appreciate it very much!! xx

I think, somehow, things were misinterpreted. I am not sure how, but it happened.

but, saying we all "mean well" suggests...something otherwise. see, it's all in the words.

Here's the thing: the OP is not a "newbie". She has been posting regularly ---and seemingly, not listening ---or trying to help HERSELF.

But if someone new were to look at this thread SINGULARLY, s/he would think we all just seemed "rabid" and crazy and uncaring. Or critical...

.

this is not the case at all. I am very upset that anyone would view this helpful advice as anything but loving concern.. even if it sounds like some are "kicking her in the butt".

Here is the one thing was ALL have in common--we want to help anyone who comes on here.

The OP has been given great advice--- for weeks.

This NEW thread? is not her first.

She needs to figure some things out for herself.

We all hope she will come back, read, learn and get well.

Kind regards to all, IH

[psawyer]

This discussion is no longer about the original topic, and having various other members question each other is not of benefit to the original poster. We're done here.