"you Can Eat Just A Little Bit, Can't You?"

[Monklady123]

Yeah, I know we've been around this topic more than once. I'm just feeling irritated so thought I'd put my mini-rant here.

I'm in a training program to get certification in my field (chaplain). I attend class one day a week, and do clinical hours the other days. We've been in this class since September. Six of us and the supervisor. The same six. Every single week for lunch the others see me bring my lunch. We've talked a lot about food sensitivities and diets because one woman is allergic to peppers, and another has diabetes. So yesterday one woman brought in a king cake. She said to me "oh you can have just a small piece, can't you?" Before I could say anything the allergic-to-peppers woman said "No! She can't!" lol..

So the king cake lady passes around pieces of cake. Truly I didn't mind not having any. I'm not much of a cake person to begin with (exceptions made for chocolate cake with chocolate icing), it was 9:30 a.m., and I really don't care.

After lunch we came back to the conference room and there's cake left. She starts urging everyone to have another piece, and she says again "One piece won't hurt, will it?" Seriously? oy. So I said "would you be pushing S. [allergic to peppers lady] to eat a bell pepper if you had it? No? So how is this different?" She actually said, to my face, "Oh, well isn't this more of a 'choice' than something like an allergy?"

And yep, I fully understand that a lot of people do gluten free as a diet choice. But by this time -- after all these weeks, and us being such a small group, and as many times as it's come up... well anyway, omg.

In the grand scheme of things it's not important. It was just irritating.

So now I want chocolate cake with chocolate icing. lol. I always keep a few boxes of Betty Crocker's gluten-free mix in my pantry. I think I see a cake in my future.

[pricklypear1971]

I think you should make her a deal. You'll eat a bite of gluteny food if she eats a bite of arsenic. Sounds square to me.

[GFinDC]

I was at a Christmas dinner at teh pastor's house and they're father-in-law who is gluten-free was there. They had a plate of Christmas cookies out on the table as we were standing there taking. So he crunches one down. Then he told me about being sick for a few days eairlier in the week form eating too much gluten. It was Christmas and you aren't supposed to punch people on Christmas, Especially at the pastor's house. I guess we all choose our own poison.

[Marilyn R]

In MHO, she's clearly watching way too much entertainment TV and reading too many magazines.

I applaud you for your restraint and decorum. I probably would have had to had to bring up Adam and Eve and the apple, or GFinDc's quote in his tag line from Job.

Happy Mardi Gras anyway, and way to go!

[Takala]

I would hate to see what sort of other self-destructive behaviors this person is encouraging others to do. Sounds like she's two fries short of a Happy Meal to me.

[gatita]

Sounds like she's two fries short of a Happy Meal to me.

OK, I just gotta use that line as soon as I can... LOL...

Well, my diagnosis (so far) is "wheat allergy" because it turns out I really am allergic to wheat. But of course that's the expression all the not-really-needing-to-do-this vanity gluten-free dieters use, so now I sound just like one of them.

I just want to scream, " No! I -- really -- AM -- allergic -- to -- freakin' -- wheat!!!!!"

Sheesh...

[Em314]

After lunch we came back to the conference room and there's cake left. She starts urging everyone to have another piece, and she says again "One piece won't hurt, will it?" Seriously? oy. So I said "would you be pushing S. [allergic to peppers lady] to eat a bell pepper if you had it? No? So how is this different?" She actually said, to my face, "Oh, well isn't this more of a 'choice' than something like an allergy?"

That's really bizarre... even if you didn't have celiac and just plain didn't *want* the cake, she should have taken no for an answer. You shouldn't "need" a "legit medical reason" not to eat cake.

I think you should make her a deal. You'll eat a bite of gluteny food if she eats a bite of arsenic. Sounds square to me.

Ironically, there really was a debate awhile ago that was all over the news for a bit about how much arsenic is "acceptable." Open Original Shared Link

[GF Lover]

Co-workers Open Original Shared Link

This is why I don't work well with others.

[Monklady123]

"That's really bizarre... even if you didn't have celiac and just plain didn't *want* the cake, she should have taken no for an answer. You shouldn't "need" a "legit medical reason" not to eat cake."

(not sure why I can't get the quote feature to work...) -- Anyway, no, if you knew this woman you'd know it isn't really bizarre, it's just the way she is. She's a total food pusher. But -- I'm going to get her next week [insert evil laugh here]. Part of these classes is "group time". (I am SO not a group person). I'm going to ask her point blank why she feels the need to push food on people, especially when there's a medical reason why that person can't eat it. I think I need to google "food pusher" to find out what the psychology behind it is. This woman is one of those who always has to have the answer, and if she doesn't she makes one up. So I'm sure it has something to do with that.

[kareng]

"That's really bizarre... even if you didn't have celiac and just plain didn't *want* the cake, she should have taken no for an answer. You shouldn't "need" a "legit medical reason" not to eat cake."

(not sure why I can't get the quote feature to work...) -- Anyway, no, if you knew this woman you'd know it isn't really bizarre, it's just the way she is. She's a total food pusher. But -- I'm going to get her next week [insert evil laugh here]. Part of these classes is "group time". (I am SO not a group person). I'm going to ask her point blank why she feels the need to push food on people, especially when there's a medical reason why that person can't eat it. I think I need to google "food pusher" to find out what the psychology behind it is. This woman is one of those who always has to have the answer, and if she doesn't she makes one up. So I'm sure it has something to do with that.

Good idea! I think this should be brought up in front of your instructor.

The thing that stood out for me is you and the Food pusher are studying to be a chaplain. Did she not just fail the class for that behavior? Can you imagine a newly diagnosed Celiac or cancer patient or diabetic going to her for some moral support counseling and being told its OK to ignore the medical advice sometimes?

[gatita]

"even if you didn't have celiac and just plain didn't *want* the cake, she should have taken no for an answer. You shouldn't "need" a "legit medical reason" not to eat cake."

So true!!!

[Monklady123]

Good idea! I think this should be brought up in front of your instructor.

The thing that stood out for me is you and the Food pusher are studying to be a chaplain. Did she not just fail the class for that behavior? Can you imagine a newly diagnosed Celiac or cancer patient or diabetic going to her for some moral support counseling and being told its OK to ignore the medical advice sometimes?

Hmm...I think I figured out the quote thing. lol... And, you are absolutely right! This is a national training program called CPE -- Clinical Pastoral Education -- and believe me they're all about getting you to look at your own issues and work on how that could impact your ability to provide pastoral care. If the supervisor hasn't already noted down this woman's food pushing she will after I bring it up in the group session next week.

This woman has other issues that have come out during the time we've met, so I'm not surprised by this. She's only in her first unit though (we need four units, plus 1,000 more hours after the completion of the 4th unit, before we can apply for certification) so she'll learn as she goes along.

(oh, and I did make my chocolate cake last night. yummm)

[kareng]

Hmm...I think I figured out the quote thing. lol... And, you are absolutely right! This is a national training program called CPE -- Clinical Pastoral Education -- and believe me they're all about getting you to look at your own issues and work on how that could impact your ability to provide pastoral care. If the supervisor hasn't already noted down this woman's food pushing she will after I bring it up in the group session next week.

This woman has other issues that have come out during the time we've met, so I'm not surprised by this. She's only in her first unit though (we need four units, plus 1,000 more hours after the completion of the 4th unit, before we can apply for certification) so she'll learn as she goes along.

(oh, and I did make my chocolate cake last night. yummm)

I kept thinking about this. I'm not sure the "food pushing" is really a problem. If she had a bag of those little oranges and kept telling everyone they were good, have one, it wouldn't be unusual. We had a mom at Robotics doing that. Got most of the kids to eat a fuit with thier lunch!

What is odd and rather mean - is insisting that someone eat cake that she knows can't eat cake. Then telling the person she knows has a disease that its all in her head or a fad is cruel. Either that or she hasn't listened to what anyone has said. If she is that self-absorbed and can't listen to others' problems, she shouldn't be a chaplain or counselor.

[tarnalberry]

No, I'm going to argue that doing it with oranges would be bad too.

Not because someone might be allergic, or just not want them, but because she's showing disrespect. Even at two, I'm working with my daughter on the concept of respecting the answers people give you to your questions. And this lady is NOT doing that.

[kareng]

No, I'm going to argue that doing it with oranges would be bad too.

Not because someone might be allergic, or just not want them, but because she's showing disrespect. Even at two, I'm working with my daughter on the concept of respecting the answers people give you to your questions. And this lady is NOT doing that.

Yea. You're right. I guess there is a difference between offering and, after being told "NO Thanks, I can't", still trying to get someone to eat it.

What I was trying to say is that people like to feed others. But there is a line between offering and insisting.

[Marilyn R]

It's like someone trying to shove food down your throat.  Some people try to shove religion down your throat, and that rarely works.  I suspect she'll find out about that eventually, or flutter around clueless, bestowing misdeeds on innocent people who could benefit from a chaplain.

[Em314]

Hmm...I think I figured out the quote thing. lol... And, you are absolutely right! This is a national training program called CPE -- Clinical Pastoral Education -- and believe me they're all about getting you to look at your own issues and work on how that could impact your ability to provide pastoral care. If the supervisor hasn't already noted down this woman's food pushing she will after I bring it up in the group session next week.

This woman has other issues that have come out during the time we've met, so I'm not surprised by this. She's only in her first unit though (we need four units, plus 1,000 more hours after the completion of the 4th unit, before we can apply for certification) so she'll learn as she goes along.

(oh, and I did make my chocolate cake last night. yummm)

I may or may not be alone in this, but I'm kind of curious to know how it goes when you bring it up.

 

There are quite a few reaosns people "food-push;" some are cultural, some are nurturing, but sometimes also much less benign.  In the latter case, people with their own food issues will try to drag others down so they're "not the only one."  Sort of the way heavy drinkers feel especially uncomfortable around teetotallers even if the teetotallers aren't making an issue of it- the heavy drinkers feel like their alcohol use is spotlighted/feel judged/etc., and may push everyone around them to drink so they don't feel "like an alcoholic" (or some variant of that sentiment) by contrast.  (And yes, I've seen this happen- with food, and with booze.)

[Luv2teach]

My mom has a good analogy for people who just don't get it and say "a little bit won't hurt you though." she says, "it's just like if someone has a peanut allergy, it doesn't matter if they have one peanut or a handful, it still does the same damage and they would have a bad reaction. Celiac is the same, just a little bit is just as bad as eating a whole

Bowl of pasta." now, yes we know celiac isn't an allergy but it still gets the point across as most people can understand the peanut thing.

[Coryad]

Ugh some people   I had something similar happen recently.... working lunch, they ordered a huge salad (for me and the vegetarians) it was SWIMMING in croutons!!! So the meeting organizer starts picking the croutons out and making me a plate LOL (I could see crouton pieces all over the plate)  She said "oh one or two won't hurt you"....  Luckily I had brought my back-up stash of food, but honestly 

[tarnalberry]

Ugh some people   I had something similar happen recently.... working lunch, they ordered a huge salad (for me and the vegetarians) it was SWIMMING in croutons!!! So the meeting organizer starts picking the croutons out and making me a plate LOL (I could see crouton pieces all over the plate)  She said "oh one or two won't hurt you"....  Luckily I had brought my back-up stash of food, but honestly 

I would absolutely, without hesitation, look them in the eye, and with full sincerity, ask "With what scientific evidence do you make that statement?"

[mushroom]

I just got off the phone with a friend who asked me if I was still doing "that gluten thing"??  Me:  I don't have any choice.  She:  Not even a little bit???    Come off it, Lesley, I've been gluten free for five years!!!!  Where you been?

[troykm]

My mom has a good analogy for people who just don't get it and say "a little bit won't hurt you though." she says, "it's just like if someone has a peanut allergy, it doesn't matter if they have one peanut or a handful, it still does the same damage and they would have a bad reaction. Celiac is the same, just a little bit is just as bad as eating a whole

Bowl of pasta." now, yes we know celiac isn't an allergy but it still gets the point across as most people can understand the peanut thing.

 

 

I use the peanut allergy thing now too. I tell people take celiac as seriously as you would a peanut allergy. I know that its not quite the same but at least they "get it" after that. 

[troykm]

I may or may not be alone in this, but I'm kind of curious to know how it goes when you bring it up.

 

There are quite a few reaosns people "food-push;" some are cultural, some are nurturing, but sometimes also much less benign.  In the latter case, people with their own food issues will try to drag others down so they're "not the only one."  Sort of the way heavy drinkers feel especially uncomfortable around teetotallers even if the teetotallers aren't making an issue of it- the heavy drinkers feel like their alcohol use is spotlighted/feel judged/etc., and may push everyone around them to drink so they don't feel "like an alcoholic" (or some variant of that sentiment) by contrast.  (And yes, I've seen this happen- with food, and with booze.)

I have this issue at work. Over the last 2 years i have lost a lot of weight. (not celiac related, i chose to loose it)

 

Because people at work only ever saw me fat, they dont realise that normal weight for me is quite thin, but because they are all overweight i now get waves of "oh your too thin" "you look ill" "are you sick?" And i want to punch them all out LOL

[Marilyn R]

I know this is seriously off topic, sorry a lot.

 

  I had the same thing  happen at work too!  Co-workers harped constantly about me being too thin! Yada yada.

 

I finally went to the biggest gossip (and one of the most overweight) people in the office in confidence.  I told her I was sick of people commenting about me being underweight. 

 

"When I had a fat A..., nobody said a word.  Don't tell anyone, but it's really bothering me that everybody picks on me now that I've lost weight."

 

Honestly, that worked like majic overnight.  Poof!

[IrishHeart]

Title of the  topic thread caught my eye and I have to tell you guys my GI doc told me last week that he heard from his patient that a 

doc around here gave a presentation to a local celiac group and concluded with the comment that "it's okay to cheat once and a while because the diet is too stringent and a little bit won't hurt."

 

I said  Holy crap, that's grounds for malpractice if you ask me! He could not have agreed more.