Ridiculous Conversations

[Auntie-Manda]

This JUST happened last night:

Me (to concesion lady at museum): Do you know for sure if the popcorn is gluten free?

Her: Umm, I don't know. Do you know if popcorn usually has gluten in it?
Me: Usually it's fine. Popcorn itself is gluten-free, but it would depend on the flavorings. I've never come across popcorn that wasn't. I just thought I'd double check if you knew.

Her: *terified look* It has salt in it. Is that ok????

Me: Salt is fine.

Her: oh, good. I was thinking about not eating gluten anymore, but I don't know what it's all in...

 

(Really? I couldn't have guessed)

Popcorn was fine, by the way.

[ItchyAbby]

Friend (who has just found out that I cannot eat gluten and I'm low iodine): So what can you eat?

Me: Oh lots of things. There are many foods that are gluten free naturally...

Friend: I made this amazing stew you would like. I made it for Michael - he's vegan, so I bet it would be good for you too.

Me: Ummmmm

 

This has happened several times lately - why does gluten free automatically get lumped with vegan? (Or is this just in Portland?) I am the near opposite of vegan these days - more Paleo/primal. Being low-iodine knocks out a LOT of vegan staples soy and many legumes.

[LauraTX]

Yes!!!!

I was at a liquor store and they were sampling pre-made jello shots.  I don't normally drink but I thought I would taste one. The lady at the table is the company founder and makes it all herself.

Me: "Are these gluten-free?  I have a medical issue where I can't eat gluten."

Her: "Well they are vegan I am sure they will be fine!"

Me and my husband:  "..... that is not the same thing......"

[Auntie-Manda]

Haha! I've never gotten any funny vegan comments, but a lady at my church approached me one week and said that since I'm gluten free, I should come to her house any time I want, and pick some of her lettuce and help myself. I thought it was so random! People seem to think that since so many things have gluten in them, that I must feel so fortunate to have every single thing that is gluten free. I actually don't love lettuce, so I've never stopped over, but it WAS sweet. My mother in law is always buying stuff and assuming I'll want it because I CAN have it. She bought some glutino pretzels (which I feel taste like stale toast), and every time I come over, it's "here's your bag of pretzels", like I'm obligated to eat them since they're gluten-free. I do appreciate the gesture, though.

[LauraTX]

 every time I come over, it's "here's your bag of pretzels", like I'm obligated to eat them since they're gluten-free. I do appreciate the gesture, though.

 

One of my friends bought me these weird vegetable chips, she was so excited she saw they were gluten-free, they tasted like crap but I felt it was so sweet she wanted me to have something safe to snack on at her party  It was right after my diagnosis, too, so the niceness made an extra impact on sad Laura.  By the way, snyders gluten-free pretzels, if you can find them, are the bomb!  Good with hummus

[Auntie-Manda]

Yeah, I love those (with nutella or peanut butter)! It's my go-to snacky snack at work And they're so inexpensive compared to glutino.

[NoGlutenCooties]

Hi Everyone -

 

I'm new at the gluten-free thing, having just been diagnosed 10 days ago (not officially, just by blood test).  But I haven't touched a spec of gluten in those 10 days.  I have had several of these types of conversations though.  I brought 3 unopened boxes of cereal into the office that I had just bought before finding out that I couldn't eat them.  I gave them to a coworker who has 3 kids that will eat anything.  He offered to trade me for them... for his Hostess snowball cake thing (something I wouldn't eat anyways - gluten or not).  I said, "that has gluten too".  He said, "Really?  it's bread??"

 

I've also gotten, "but you can eat pasta, right?"

"won't you lose too much weight?" 

"what will you eat for lunch?"

"what about when someone brings in bagels?  how can you not eat a bagel?"

 

My sister is worried about what I will eat for Thanksgiving - because we typically hold it at her house.  I said, ya know... you really should get tested too... it runs in the family...  She thinks I'm crazy.

[CR5442]

Three times I went to my Dad's house and he presented me with cakes or gluten free bread saying 'there's no egg in this, or milk' with pride.  I didn't have the heart to tell him he keeps missing soya.  Twice I've gone home feeling poorly... the third time I made everyone else eat the macaroons and told his wife to lie!

AND, the people who keep saying to me 'but surely you can have a little bit', 'but you can't be intolerant to all these foods, couldn't it be in your head?!'  Grrh, I second the nervous breakdown!

 

[LauraTX]

...AND, the people who keep saying to me 'but surely you can have a little bit', 'but you can't be intolerant to all these foods, couldn't it be in your head?!'  Grrh, I second the nervous breakdown!

 

My reply to anyone who said this and was pushy would be: "Come hang out with me in the bathroom for a few hours after I eat this, then" 

 

 

And I have a ridiculous conversation to add!  More of an appalling conversation.  Like Laura fuming at the ears mad abd wants to strangle someone conversation.  I did my weekly grocery shopping and I wanted to do a test run with the pilsbury gluten-free pie crust before I make a really ugly one on thanksgiving and try to pass it off to my family.  I stop at the section and because I always look at expiration dates, noticed all the pie crusts and pizza crusts were expired by a couple of days.  There are two stock boys a few feet away so I say

"Hey guys, a bunch of these are expired."

 

Stock boy #1 walks up and looks, "Well I don't like people who eat gluten free stuff anyways."

I really couldn't tell if he was trying to joke or meant it, but it made me so PO'd, I am sure it showed on my face.  

 

"Well, I actually have a medical condition and eating gluten puts me in the bathroom all day.  So you...."

Here I trailed off.  I was about to finish that with "Can go [redacted] yourself" but somehow I managed to think I better not give celiacs a bad name

So I said, ".....So ....I just don't have anything nice to say to you about that."

 

Stockboy #2 gives stockboy #1 that look like "Duuuude you messed up haha" while stockboy#1 looks embarrased as heck, and I helped them pick out all the expired ones and rotate the stock.

 

I then bought a Stonyfield yogurt that expired in September (really people?) because I was too fuming mad to remember to look at the date when I put it in my cart, haha. I am not going to file a complaint on that, because I am sure that guys buddy is going to give him crud for days by the way he looked at him.

[Adalaide]

I'll be the first to admit that I have the habit of calling the health food store the hippie store. (Which is confusing here because we have three health food stores so when I say I need to run to the hippie store my husband never knows where I'm going.) But I think the issue with people confusing gluten free and vegan is the general attitude of "hippie" that some people just apply to people who eat what they in their minds apply to a healthier way of eating. Vegans are hippies. Those gluten free people are hippies. Those weird paleo people are hippies. I'm not saying I agree with the sentiment, just saying I can see how it happens.

 

I've had some very painful conversations.

 

"Is that gluten free?"

"No, it has a ton of sugar."

Please excuse me while I find the closest brick wall to slam my head against until I bleed because it will be less painful than the stupidity of the conversation I just endured.

 

And I think like everyone I get the "what can you eat?" question way too often. And they never ask with interest, it is always with the edge to it as if they think I'm on the brink of starving to death. "Oh you know... cupcakes, brownies, pizza, pasta, pie, crackers, cookies. It's a miracle I haven't starved to death yet!"

[w8in4dave]

My latest is......    " her :Hey how are ya? Me : I'm good how are you? Her: I am doing ok.. I lost 8 lbs. I am on a low gluten diet. You know the Atkins diet. I don't eat anything white. Me: Ohh wonderful for you!! 8 lbs thats alot!! Bla bla bla 

 

 

 

Not sure why Gluten even came into the conversation 

[CajunChic]

One of my favorites: while at a family gathering, my uncle says, "Don't you have that disease that's all over the Internet where you can't eat anything?" Me: I guess so : / him: " good, this cake was made with white flour, not wheat! Enjoy!" Me:

[Adalaide]

"Don't you have that disease that's all over the Internet where you can't eat anything?"

 

I don't even....

[LauraTX]

One of my favorites: while at a family gathering, my uncle says, "Don't you have that disease that's all over the Internet where you can't eat anything?" Me: I guess so : / him: " good, this cake was made with white flour, not wheat! Enjoy!" Me:

 

This cracks me up.  I have gotten that, too.  "It is white bread not wheat, there is no wheat in this!"  

 

People have no idea what goes into their food, haha.

 

And Adalaide, I met a Vegan, sometimes gluten-free hippie at the store that same day.  Saw her with her kids grabbing pamelas bread mix so I say, "Are you guys celiacs, too?" because I am always eager to meet local gluten-free people.  She goes on to tell me they are vegan (as I look at the really non-vegan stuff in her cart but perhaps it was for someone else) and she feeds her kids gluten-free when they are sick because it makes them feel better.  I tell her as nice and politely as I can, "Ya know if you think gluten makes them ill, you may want to get that checked out at the doctor." She goes,"Oh no they don't get sick from the gluten but I just feed them a pure diet while they are sick because gluten is bad for you and gluten-free helps you keep the weight down..... blahblahblah" I just politely smiled and told her have a good one!    lol  Some people are not worth the effort to talk to.

[Adalaide]

Those are exactly the people I think of when I think hippie. The kind people who have an idea of a lifestyle in their head but have no freaking clue what the hell they are talking about or doing. They'll wear pants made of hemp and recycle everything... and only drink water from single serve throwaway containers and drive to the store 4 times a week because they need their produce to be SUPER fresh. And they look at me like I'm the crazy one because I'm the freak who eats gluten free.

[mbrookes]

At our local "hippie" store

Me: Where can I find gluten free soy sauce?

Clerk: Ask the guy over there with the purple hair.

I barely made it out of the store before I doubled over laughing. YES! Hippie Store!

[bartfull]

Yes!!!!

I was at a liquor store and they were sampling pre-made jello shots.  I don't normally drink but I thought I would taste one. The lady at the table is the company founder and makes it all herself.

Me: "Are these gluten-free?  I have a medical issue where I can't eat gluten."

Her: "Well they are vegan I am sure they will be fine!"

Me and my husband:  "..... that is not the same thing......"

Now THIS is funny! Last I heard, jello is made from animal parts. DEFINITELY not vegan.

[JNBunnie1]

And on a more humorous note, things my husband has lovingly said to me:

 

"-redacted dirty thing- is gluten free!"   (if you are a married woman, use your imagination here, haha) 

He got slapped over that!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Yep, I've heard that one too!

[Juliebove]

Friend (who has just found out that I cannot eat gluten and I'm low iodine): So what can you eat?

Me: Oh lots of things. There are many foods that are gluten free naturally...

Friend: I made this amazing stew you would like. I made it for Michael - he's vegan, so I bet it would be good for you too.

Me: Ummmmm

 

This has happened several times lately - why does gluten free automatically get lumped with vegan? (Or is this just in Portland?) I am the near opposite of vegan these days - more Paleo/primal. Being low-iodine knocks out a LOT of vegan staples soy and many legumes.

People don't seem to know what vegan is either.  Or vegetarian.  Can't tell you how many times people will say that they are or they know someone who is vegetarian but they eat fish.  One woman even said that vegetarians actually do eat meat so long as it is in tiny pieces mixed into something and not just a piece of meat like a steak or chicken breast.

[Juliebove]

Three times I went to my Dad's house and he presented me with cakes or gluten free bread saying 'there's no egg in this, or milk' with pride.  I didn't have the heart to tell him he keeps missing soya.  Twice I've gone home feeling poorly... the third time I made everyone else eat the macaroons and told his wife to lie!

AND, the people who keep saying to me 'but surely you can have a little bit', 'but you can't be intolerant to all these foods, couldn't it be in your head?!'  Grrh, I second the nervous breakdown!

Oh yes.  My dad kept buying things that said gluten-free but they had eggs or soy or dairy, all of which daughter couldn't eat. 

[Juliebove]

Now THIS is funny! Last I heard, jello is made from animal parts. DEFINITELY not vegan.

Yep!  Like I said...  Lots of people don't know what vegan really is.

[Juliebove]

This cracks me up.  I have gotten that, too.  "It is white bread not wheat, there is no wheat in this!"  

 

People have no idea what goes into their food, haha.

 

And Adalaide, I met a Vegan, sometimes gluten-free hippie at the store that same day.  Saw her with her kids grabbing pamelas bread mix so I say, "Are you guys celiacs, too?" because I am always eager to meet local gluten-free people.  She goes on to tell me they are vegan (as I look at the really non-vegan stuff in her cart but perhaps it was for someone else) and she feeds her kids gluten-free when they are sick because it makes them feel better.  I tell her as nice and politely as I can, "Ya know if you think gluten makes them ill, you may want to get that checked out at the doctor." She goes,"Oh no they don't get sick from the gluten but I just feed them a pure diet while they are sick because gluten is bad for you and gluten-free helps you keep the weight down..... blahblahblah" I just politely smiled and told her have a good one!    lol  Some people are not worth the effort to talk to.

Yikes!  But I do know that a lot of vegans turn to rice or corn pasta because it is usually egg free.  Not always though.  I have seen gluten-free pasta with eggs.  That was one reason I ate it.  Gluten isn't my issue but I can't have eggs.  I knew if I ordered pasta in a restaurant that it might be cooked in the same water with egg containing pasta.  But the gluten-free kind was cooked separately.

[Juliebove]

My latest is......    " her :Hey how are ya? Me : I'm good how are you? Her: I am doing ok.. I lost 8 lbs. I am on a low gluten diet. You know the Atkins diet. I don't eat anything white. Me: Ohh wonderful for you!! 8 lbs thats alot!! Bla bla bla 

 

 

 

Not sure why Gluten even came into the conversation 

That white thing makes no sense to me either.  We have white aspargus, cauliflower, white radishes, jicama, turnips, rutabaga...I'm probably missing a few things.  All low carb.  All would fit into that diet.

[w8in4dave]

I like the "what is Gluten anyway?" : Me "It is Wheat , Barley and rye". Them "Ohhh I didn't put anything like that in there. Here try it " Me ummm no thank you! I am having a bad day cannot eat much today! Thanks anyway!!  

[w8in4dave]

That white thing makes no sense to me either.  We have white aspargus, cauliflower, white radishes, jicama, turnips, rutabaga...I'm probably missing a few things.  All low carb.  All would fit into that diet.

I know it is an Atkins thing..No noodles rice or potatoes... She is a nut!! The thing is she has sugar issues she should stay away from that high glycemic stuff ... Not the low glycemic <--- is that the right word?  I hope she does lose more weight! It would greatly improve her health!!