Ridiculous Conversations

[Pegleg84]

I seem to remember my parents being on the Atkins diet briefly, back before Mom was diagnosed Celiac. Oooh the crazy things people do for no reason...

 

My boyfriend is a strict vegetarian, and doesn't eat eggs (though eats enough cheese for the both of us), so when we go out we're both interrogating the server. He's worse than I am! But I can't even count the times he gets asked "oh, do you eat fish?" No. Vegetarians don't eat fish... That's like saying, I'm on a gluten-free diet, but I still eat cake sometimes. ergh

[Celtic Queen]

Last year I was talking to my son's teacher.  He was having some concentration problems (and since then has been diagnosed ADD).  I mentioned something to her about trying dietary changes to see if that would affect his concentration.  She said, "Oh, I don't believe there's any link between food and behavior or medical issues."  I told her, "I have to disagree with you.  I have Celiac Disease and food definitely affects how I behave and feel."  To her credit, she did look up Celiac Disease afterwards. 

[w8in4dave]

Last year I was talking to my son's teacher.  He was having some concentration problems (and since then has been diagnosed ADD).  I mentioned something to her about trying dietary changes to see if that would affect his concentration.  She said, "Oh, I don't believe there's any link between food and behavior or medical issues."  I told her, "I have to disagree with you.  I have Celiac Disease and food definitely affects how I behave and feel."  To her credit, she did look up Celiac Disease afterwards. 

My daughter told her sons pediatrician she thought her sons attitude was effected by Gluten, The pediatrician said the same thing! I don't believe that food changes attitude in anyone. I told my daughter "Are you kidding me? Has she ever seen a kid eat a sugary piece of cake and  get hyper and start fights and start screaming having a sugar high? Why wouldn't Gluten do the same thing? Nope she wouldn't hear about it!! 

[Celtic Queen]

Oh, that's even scarier.  You're talking about a doctor.  A supposed medical professional.

[w8in4dave]

Oh, that's even scarier.  You're talking about a doctor.  A supposed medical professional.

I know!! I wish my daughter would change! But she said besides that one time, she really likes the Dr. 

[WinterSong]

My latest conversations:

 

At a restaurant, asking a waiter who seemed to know what gluten free was.

Me: Is the chicken dish gluten free?

Him: Well, I've eaten it before, and I didn't taste any flour in it...

Me: 

 

Out to dinner with a big group of people.

Drunk girl I don't know: Here, eat the couscous!!

Me: No thanks, I can't.

Drunk girl: Why?!?! It's vegan!!

Me: No I'm on a gluten free....never mind....

 

At a new coffee shop:

Me: Excuse me, could you tell me if the ingredients in your mochas are gluten free?

Girl: No. Definitely not. You definitely cannot have that. It has milk in it.

Me: 

 

Friend who is self diagnosed gluten intolerant and has been gluten free for three years.

Her: I have a great new doctor! She scheduled me for a Celiac panel tomorrow! Wish me luck!

Me: Oh, so you're doing a gluten challenge?

Her: What's that?

Me: Where you start eating gluten again for several months in hopes of getting an accurate blood test.

Her: Oh I could never do that! But my doctor told me that I could do the Celiac panel and it would be okay.

Me: Your doctor is an idiot. 

[Rucko]

The stories about the clued-out doctors reminded me that the doctor who told me I was celiac, first told me the test results, then said "So you can't eat hotdogs any longer."  I'm pretty sure he knew about gluten and wheat and all that, but what a weird example of what not to eat!

[Juliebove]

Last year I was talking to my son's teacher.  He was having some concentration problems (and since then has been diagnosed ADD).  I mentioned something to her about trying dietary changes to see if that would affect his concentration.  She said, "Oh, I don't believe there's any link between food and behavior or medical issues."  I told her, "I have to disagree with you.  I have Celiac Disease and food definitely affects how I behave and feel."  To her credit, she did look up Celiac Disease afterwards. 

Oh yes!  Food certainly did affect my daughter.  When she eats her intolerances, she feels so unwell, she can not concentrate in school.  Alas before we knew of the bad foods, she felt unwell all of the time. School tried to tell me that she had ADD.  I thought otherwise because my husband and dad have ADHD.  They still tried to tell me that she had it.  Just not the H.  Well, no.  Two weeks after changing her diet, I got a different kid!

[Auntie-Manda]

Maybe this belongs in a different topic, but my sister believes that I'm making all this up, so she refuses to learn about it and work with me when she plans family get-togethers (birthdays are usually celebrated at her house). So last night for MY BIRTHDAY, she made tacos (there were flour & corn shells, but I didn't know the brand of taco meat and I'm sure she wasn't careful about washing things well enough to make sure there weren't leftovers from another gluten-full meal, so I didn't have any). She asked my mom if the meat was too spicy (Mom was worried about that beforehand... it was fine). Then she served cake from Walmart. My TEN YEAR OLD nephew looked at me, alarmed, and said, "I think this cake has gluten in it. I don't think you can have it" (so sweet), and I reassured him that I wasn't eating it- just feeding it to my kids. I just thought, how crazy that with five adults around, the only one who even acknowledged my dietary needs was the ten year old. Sigh.

[w8in4dave]

Maybe this belongs in a different topic, but my sister believes that I'm making all this up, so she refuses to learn about it and work with me when she plans family get-togethers (birthdays are usually celebrated at her house). So last night for MY BIRTHDAY, she made tacos (there were flour & corn shells, but I didn't know the brand of taco meat and I'm sure she wasn't careful about washing things well enough to make sure there weren't leftovers from another gluten-full meal, so I didn't have any). She asked my mom if the meat was too spicy (Mom was worried about that beforehand... it was fine). Then she served cake from Walmart. My TEN YEAR OLD nephew looked at me, alarmed, and said, "I think this cake has gluten in it. I don't think you can have it" (so sweet), and I reassured him that I wasn't eating it- just feeding it to my kids. I just thought, how crazy that with five adults around, the only one who even acknowledged my dietary needs was the ten year old. Sigh.

Isn't that something? My 4 yo grandson will now ask if something has gluten in it. Because he is now gluten-free He will say "Is that gluten free?" " I have to eat gluten free" I told my daughter that is so sweet he is already in charge of his diet! 

[w8in4dave]

Last night we had a Burger crm of mush soup noodle dinner we call "Suppertash" well It was deer meat and hamburger mix. as Iwas cooking down the Crm of mush soup hubbs came in and said so are we having real noodles or those other noodles? I said "other noodles?" he said you know those "other noodles" LOl I said if you want I will make you some "Real noodles" So I just had the meat and Crm of mush mix he had noodles lol ... Most of the time he tells everyone he doesn't care about what noodles he eats.  We only have a few Glutenized noodles left he better enjoy while he can! Haha 

[frieze]

Maybe this belongs in a different topic, but my sister believes that I'm making all this up, so she refuses to learn about it and work with me when she plans family get-togethers (birthdays are usually celebrated at her house). So last night for MY BIRTHDAY, she made tacos (there were flour & corn shells, but I didn't know the brand of taco meat and I'm sure she wasn't careful about washing things well enough to make sure there weren't leftovers from another gluten-full ch meal, so I didn't have any). She asked my mom if the meat was too spicy (Mom was worried about that beforehand... it was fine). Then she served cake from Walmart. My TEN YEAR OLD nephew looked at me, alarmed, and said, "I think this cake has gluten in it. I don't think you can have it" (so sweet), and I reassured him that I wasn't eating it- just feeding it to my kids. I just thought, how crazy that with five adults around, the only one who even acknowledged my dietary needs was the ten year old. Sigh.

such empathy from a 10 year old MALE is a pleasant surprise!  Please encourage as much as possible!

[NoGlutenCooties]

Just yesterday in the recovery room after having my endoscopy (which confirmed Celiac) the nurse offers me juice and a snack.  I ask her if they have anything gluten free (I went gluten free a month ago after getting the positive blood test results), which they do - so she brings me gluten free cookies.  Then she kinda starts talking to me for a bit about the whole gluten thing:

 

Nurse: so what were your symptoms?

Me: I actually didn't have any symptoms  (sidenote: I'm one of the few asymptomatic Celiac people)

Nurse:  Oh!  You don't have any symptoms yet?  Do you want something else then?  We have Fig Newtons.

Me: Uh... no thanks.  I have Celiac.  I'm going Gluten Free so that I don't end up getting symptoms... ya know, like Diabetes, Thyroid Issues, and Cancer... But thanks anyways.

[WinterSong]

Just yesterday in the recovery room after having my endoscopy (which confirmed Celiac) the nurse offers me juice and a snack.  I ask her if they have anything gluten free (I went gluten free a month ago after getting the positive blood test results), which they do - so she brings me gluten free cookies.  Then she kinda starts talking to me for a bit about the whole gluten thing:

 

Nurse: so what were your symptoms?

Me: I actually didn't have any symptoms  (sidenote: I'm one of the few asymptomatic Celiac people)

Nurse:  Oh!  You don't have any symptoms yet?  Do you want something else then?  We have Fig Newtons.

Me: Uh... no thanks.  I have Celiac.  I'm going Gluten Free so that I don't end up getting symptoms... ya know, like Diabetes, Thyroid Issues, and Cancer... But thanks anyways.

 

 

What???? She wanted you to have symptoms? Maybe she thought you were doing a gluten challenge? IDK

 

 

I'm not sure if I've told this story on the board, but I went to a free Dr Oz event once - it was for people who felt exhausted (one of my symptoms), and they were doing free blood tests to check for nutritional deficiencies. I thought, "Great! I'll just do this and won't have to go to my doctor and pay for the same tests!" I didn't have much to eat the night before, and they emailed me the morning of the event and said that I could not eat that morning if I wanted the blood tests.    The event started at 2:00pm. I have very low blood pressure and don't do well without food in my system, so if I had known this in advance I would have of course eaten a little more the evening before. I told them when I walked in the door, "I'm feeling faint and would like to get the blood test done right away, so I can eat something. Also, I have Celiac Disease and cannot eat gluten." (The woman in charge was handing out free water and gluten granola bars). When I sat down for the blood test I started blacking out. They finished the test and a woman rushed up to me with a granola bar and asked me if I would like to eat it. I looked at her, and said, "No I have Celiac Disease. That will make things a million times worse." I was prepared and had food in my purse, but I expected a little more from an event sponsored by medical professionals.   ......then again, I don't expect much gluten free advice from Dr Oz these days anyway....

[skullgrl]

My favourite response so far was at an Barmitzvah party for my Boyfriend's cousin (nice kid). One of his relatives, a girl, around my age asked about what I was eating/did I bring my own food. I said, yes and that's because I recently got diagnosed with Celiac Disease. After explaining the basics of it (no wheat etc.) she said, "I wish I HAD THAT! That way I would actually have to eat healthy. You must eat so healthy."

 

She wishes she has it. Still makes my brain implode with anger juices.

[LauraTX]

She wishes she has it. Still makes my brain implode with anger juices.

 

I have heard that line as well...  I'm like, really????!!!

[nvsmom]

...makes my brain implode with anger juices.

 

Oooooh, excellent visual! I must steal this from you - my boys will appreciate it!

[NoGlutenCooties]

 she said, "I wish I HAD THAT! That way I would actually have to eat healthy. You must eat so healthy."

 

 

I've heard that one too.  All I can think is really???  you have so little self control that you'd rather be forced into never eating gluten again than to eat healthy by choice?? 

I think what actually gets me most about this is that people assume that gluten-free equates to healthy.  You can actually eat just as unhealthy on a gluten-free diet as you can on any other type of diet.  People can be so moronic.

[KCG91]

My uncle (to my mum when she told him about my diagnosis: 'I always said vegetarianism was bad for her! She just wants to get some meat down her' 

 

A friend (who seems to have a coeliac friend who doesn't really stick to the diet) 'I guess it's just a case of finding out how much you can tolerate sometimes' 

On the other hand, most of my friends at uni are medical students. It's funny to watch them switch from friend to doctor and ask me about BMs etc with a totally straight face (theirs, not mine!)

[WinterSong]

I was very thin when I was diagnosed, and one of the girls who I worked with was on the heavier side. She knew that I had Celiac and that's why I was so skinny, but one day I overheard her saying, "I wish I had her genes."

 

I'm sure she had totally forgotten about the Celiac factor, but still I thought in my head, "Umm....I'm going to pretend she meant jeans instead genes...." 

[w8in4dave]

Was at a restaurant with my daughter and another person that has Celiac. Waitress says ok I am noticing no one wants bread, is there a Celiac or Gluten sensitivity going on here. My Daughter says yes there is. Waitress said well I want you to know we put flour on the liver before we cook it . The other Celiac said : Well Thats ok I want it anyway!! OMG really? She had some really bad symptoms b4 she was dx'd I cannot believe it. I was really in shock!! If I was to eat that I'd be in the bathroom in about 2 mins. And then sick for a week after!! 

[pocahontas30]

My kids are newly diagnosed celiac. I took them out of town for a weekend trip for the first time since diagnosis and had a hard time finding places to eat. After researching, we went to a steakhouse with a separate gluten-free menu. A long wait later, and the waiter comes to take our order:

Me: My boys will have the steak and salad. Please use clean bowl to mix the salad and no croutons.

W: Is this gluten free?

Me: yes please.

W: how gluten free does it need to be?

Me: (in my head: "Seriously? If it's not totally gluten-free then it's not gluten-free genious!") Do your best!

Sigh

[Pegleg84]

Oy! I've seen other Celiacs do some pretty stupid things right in front of me. A friend of the family joined us for a meal at the cottage this summer. She was saying how she though soy might be bothering her too. I thought, sure, it might be. Then when she decided a piece of regular blueberry pie was worth it, even though "she'd pay for it later", I thought... well, that's why soy might be bothering you, lady... Ergh... I didn't bring it up.

 

That's funny about the vegetarian thing, because usually I say I can't eat gluten, you know, wheat... "Well, there aren't a lot of vegetarian options". No, I eat meat. Just not wheat.

[DougE]

What a great thread!  I have one for you...

On a business trip, a number of us are sitting at the boardroom table discussing where to have dinner.  When a suggestion was made, I phoned the restaurant to see if I could eat there.

 

Me - Do you have any gluten-free options?

R - What is gluten?

Me - Wheat, barley and rye.

R - Hmmm.  Well you could probably have the flour tortillas.

Me -  Flour tortillas!?   What kind of flour are they made from?

R - Well, you know.  Regular flour.

Me [loudly]   FLOUR IS WHEAT!!!!

[peals of laughter around the boardroom table]

R - oh. [as if she just had an epiphany]

[sweetsailing]

I read this one somewhere on the internet, but it was so hilarious it is worth repeating

 

Gluten-free person (gluten-free) trying to explain what gluten is to a resturant waitperson (WP) for who english is not their first language.

 

gluten-free:  I can't eat gluten

WP:  puzzled look

gluten-free:  Flour, I have an issue with flour

WP:  promptly removes the vase with a rose from the table and walks away.