Who Is Responsible For Making Sure There's Something Safe To Eat?

[maria714]

I am new to this group and I hope I am asking this in the right forum. I have a friend who has a young daughter (8 years old) with Celiac. Whenever there is a dinner at church, she storms around the kitchen, making comments 'there's nothing here she can eat.' Am I wrong to think that as her mother, she's responsible for her daughter's diet and what she eats? Shouldn't she have some food with her at all times, just in case this situation arises? I'm trying to be understanding because I know it's difficult, but the constant anger over no gluten free alternatives is really starting to get to me. 

[kareng]

The fact is - if you have a special diet, you need to make sure you have the food that you can eat.  In the case of a medically necessary diet - one should not trust that others understand how to make you food and keep you safe.

 

I think this friend just wants attention or to find something to be mad about?  If it weren't Celiac, it would be something else.

[BlessedMommy]

I agree with the above. It's very unlikely for people from a normal kitchen to be able to prepare safe food for a celiac, without a little education.

 

We who adhere to a strict G.F. diet always need to bring our own food, except for a few circumstances, like a professional chef who is trained in the minute details of the G.F. diet, or if a fellow celiac prepares something from their dedicated G.F. kitchen.

[nvsmom]

Yep, It is the celiac's responsibility to safely feed themselves.  Even if someone was to try to feed us, in most instances they wouldn't know how to safely prepare my food and I would trn it down anyways.

 

Some gluten-free alternatives the church could provide are fruit and veggies - safe and healthy.

[cyclinglady]

It is the mother's responsibility to provide safe (gluten free) food for her child. But....think how overwhelmed she must be, especially if the diagnosis is new. Eating gluten free is doable, but giving up the freedom to eat whenever and wherever is very hard. No more quick fast food stops or easy ordering at your favorite restaurant. It is exhausting to eat outside the home (at least for me).

Setting aside some fruit and veggies (prepared on a gluten free cutting board, etc.) and before anyone else touches it, might be a very nice gesture. Read out Newbie 101 section found here:

It contains valuable tips and may give you a better understanding as to what this new mom may be up against.

https://www.celiac.com/forums/topic/91878-newbie-info-101/

How sweet it would be to have a box of gluten-free cereal bars or ice cream cups stashed in the church kitchen, clearly marked for those with celiac disease.

[africanqueen99]

I'm the mother of an 8 y/o with celiac and I can tell you that it's exhausting being the one to always feed her.  And, for her, it's sad to always be the one with the "special" food - remember that little kids desperately want to fit in.  The gesture of having something for her is huge.  For example, we went to a friend's Halloween party not too long ago and the mother went out of her way to only buy gluten-free hot dogs and made a special batch of gluten-free brownies.  Just for my girls!!  My oldest was simply beaming that Mrs. S did that for her.  It really is the little things.  There was a table overflowing with food that she couldn't touch, but she had those brownies all to herself (they were hidden so other gluten-y hands wouldn't touch them - that is how much this mother thought about it).

 

But, the answer your question, it's the parents' job until the child is old enough to navigate it all.

[SMRI]

It is the Mother's responsibility.  I know someone like the Mom in the OP's post and it's very frustrating to watch this mom.  She doesn't realize how much negative attention she brings on her child by acting like that and just simply bringing her own food would not make her stand out at all.   Besides that, why would you trust a pot luck to begin with?  Even if the food started being gluten-free, what's to say someone didn't drop some bread in the gluten-free food or whatever.  It's just easier all the way around to bring your own food.

[cap6]

I agree! It's moms job to make sure her child has safe foods. Perhaps once she become more accustomed to the ins and outs of g.f. eating she will calm down. The more upset she is the worse it is for her child. Stashing some items in a small cooler makes life a whole lot easier. That said.....this is a learning process!

[Googles]

It is hard to deal with someone when they are angry. But remember that this mom is probably overwhelmed. She may be reacting to her child's stress at not being able to eat what her friends are eating. I'm an adult and provide my own food, but still sometimes get frustrated with having to bring my own food. I don't expect others to provide food for me, but it just reminds me of the stress of having to think about everything I have to put in my mouth when everyone else is able to eat whatever they want and I can't. My church has been wonderful and has gotten gluten free bread for me for communion and put it in a little plastic bag for me so that I can participate without having to feel more different by bringing it myself. They just keep a bag of gluten-free bread in the freezer and take a slice out every Sunday we have communion. They didn't do this for me but the other day at work they had a staff meeting where they had apples and string cheese where usually they have bagels and cream cheese. It was so exciting for me to be able to participate. It would be thoughtful to do something as easy as single serving things that are gluten free like string cheese so she can participate and might make the mom feel like someone understands/cares about the stress she is feeling. 

[Azenka]

It being a church, particularly if it's a small, inclusive sort of church, I would be a little shocked that -someone- wouldn't go out of their way to provide food for food sensitive members of the church. Isn't that sort of kindness and attention that one would expect from a church? 

 

Don't get me wrong, I wholly think that it's the mother's responsibility to provide food for her daughter. And furthermore, I personally don't trust the majority of people to make proper gluten free food; I'd be dubious of a piece of fruit found in that kitchen. A banana I suppose would be fine.