Today, I Am Angry.

[popoki321]

I had to go to a dinner function last night. Unfortunately, there weren't too many things that I could eat, so I picked a few things here and there and needless to say, I had a very sparse plate.

A few people had made jokes about the lack of food on my plate and I explained that I had Celiac Disease and blah..blah..blah... and what I can and can't eat.

Someone said - Oh Celiac is so common these days and it's very popular right now- I guess it's the new trend. Just like the low carb and Atkins phase , this one will pass too.

I was floored- Hello- I have a DISEASE..not a fad, not a trend...a DISEASE.

Like I would choose to read every ingredient on every food label if I didn't have to. (That's probably not a bad idea anyway!)

Like I would choose to have blood tests, biopsies and colonoscopies.

I'm not sure what made me so angry..maybe her flip attitude, maybe her ignorance.

Maybe it's just me. This is all new for me and I am just getting used to dealing with this myself. Maybe it's just residual anger about having this disease in the first place.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle a situation like this with dignity and grace?

[chrissy]

i'm irritated for you, too!!!!! there was a time when hypoglycemia was the rage, most recently, candida is the rage. both of those things, for the most part, can't be "proved" medically. (although some people do have a genuin problem with these things) when each of these things was in vogue, just about any symptom people couldn't get a diagnosis on was blamed on them. i am assuming that the gal you are talking about just does not understand that, unlike these other things, celiac is a REAL can-be-proven -with-medical-tests-disease. it is not some fad diet that you are doing to be part of the in-crowd. feel sorry for the gal-----she's stupid and doesn't even know it.LOL!!! (sorry, i couldn't resist. i'm sure she is just uninformed)

christine

[Guest nini]

I've had that happen to me too... very aggravating. I just point blank said, "This is NOT a fad diet, nor will it ever be a fad diet for me. This is a lifelong commitment to a gluten free diet so that I do not die some horrible death of bowel cancer or something like that"... got blank stares... then "oh"

just walk away! there is no way IN MY MIND to handle it with dignity when you are angry at people's stupidity! I was embarrassed, but oh well!

[tarnalberry]

I like the dumbstruck look of disbelief, followed by a hearty laugh, completed with the words "Oh, I wish it would pass! Tell my genes, and my intestines that! But nooo... my stupid genetic code has to have an auto-immune response to those pesky wheat proteins. Will pass... Ah... you must be reading my wildest, and most hopeless, fantasies."

[VydorScope]

I realy want to reply, but you quailifed it with "dignified" and I am stuggling with that...

[lovegrov]

For two reasons, I'm simply astounded whenever I hear that folks have been told this. I've read it numerous times so I know that it happens.

First, there's absolutely no excuse for anybody to say this, even if you are indeed following a "fad" diet. So what? What business is it of their's?

Second, in more than four years, nobody's ever said anything this insensitive to me. It helps that people who knew me saw how sick I was and then how I improved, and while some others have joked a little (I've just laughed along), I can't remember anybody being this rude. Just amazing.

richard

[Canadian Karen]

Someone said - Oh Celiac is so common these days and it's very popular right now- I guess it's the new trend. Just like the low carb and Atkins phase , this one will pass too.

At that point, I would sneeze right on her and then say, "Oh, it's not a fad, it is a DISEASE, a very contagious DISEASE that is lifelong, never goes away, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! If you eat any bread whatsoever, it eats your intestines like ringworm." Then watch her go run to the bathroom to disinfect herself......

Just kidding. I would be fun though!!!!

Karen

[penguin]

I don't know how I'd handle that, probably something along the lines of, "yeah, hopefully that bowel cancer I get from eating that roll will pass as well." Actually, now that I think about it, I probably wouldn't say that, but I'd explain in a more informative, yet condescending manner the same sentiment.

I actually HAVE hypoglycemia, fad or not. There is a medical test they can do that involves fasting, then pumping you full of sugar, and then timing how long it takes you to crash. Many doctors won't do this because it is unnecessarily traumatic when there's an easy treatment - EAT, and not a candy bar. That's basically what my drs have all told me, and they did a fasting blood sugar test to make sure I wasn't diabetic, and watched me have symptoms by coincidence.

Now I get to have this, too. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a hypochondriac and it's all in my head.

Although, since Celiac is getting so much press nowadays, some people are self-diagnosing or whatever and making it into a fad...

Why you would voluntarily put yourself through this daily pain in the butt, I'll never know

[Judyin Philly]

At that point, I would sneeze right on her and then say, "Oh, it's not a fad, it is a DISEASE, a very contagious DISEASE that is lifelong, never goes away, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! If you eat any bread whatsoever, it eats your intestines like ringworm." Then watch her go run to the bathroom to disinfect herself......

Just kidding. I would be fun though!!!! Karen

Ha Ha Ha Karen---I know you---your not kidding and by god I'm going to use it.

This just made me laugh right out loud. Cat looked at me like i was nuts...but ...our sense of humor will get us through..actually, this was one of the most insentitive comments I've heard too.

I'm so lucky most of my friends are really understanding...and since I'm not working now,,,don't have to deal with the 'horrid work enviroments out there' so see, always a blessing hidden deep inside somewhere.

Some times we get really sick and tired of looking don't we

Judy in Philly

[Rusla]

I want to slap that twit. What an ignorant bimbo. I am sorry, I am a terribly blunt person. I would have asked her if she had a genetic disease that renders her as stupid as she has shown herself to be. I would have said I was sorry for my disease which I can control. But that I feel more sorry for her because unfortunately she can't find a way to control her stupidity disease.

[floridanative]

Rusla - you totally rock!! Can't even type as I'm LMAO!!!

[jerseyangel]

You have every right to be mad as h*ll--I got mad just reading your post! Why can't people think before they speak

[Judyin Philly]

I want to slap that twit. What an ignorant bimbo.

would have said I was sorry for my disease which I can control. But that I feel more sorry for her because unfortunately she can't find a way to control her stupidity disease

Rusla

the last one wins the blue ribbon for 'come back's

OMG Rusla you are a nut.

can i take you and Karen with me on my next 'dr apt'

you guys make my day.

hugs and more hugs to you both.

judy in philly

[plantime]

Rusla!! LMAO!!

[Rusla]

Judy, I am afraid the doctor wouldn't know what hit them once Karen and I got finished. Hugs back at you and at anyone who has to suffer with stupid people.

I have a very low tolerance of stupidity and unfortunately in my job I deal with it all the time. Some people are so stupid I really don't know how they have managed to live so long.

Actually the other day I suffered a horrible allergic reaction to a suntan lotion. I went to a walk-in clinic, as it was a Saturday. The doctor there looks in my throat and says,"well you don't have tonsilitis." My reply was,"That is really good because I don't have any tonsils and haven't had them for over 30 years." She turned red and didn't know what to say. When I told my doctor he shook his head and rolled his eyes.He said he doesn't know how to they are trained over here. He is from South Africa and said he doesn't like the training of doctors over here, or should I say the lack of training.

[Carriefaith]

Someone said - Oh Celiac is so common these days and it's very popular right now- I guess it's the new trend. Just like the low carb and Atkins phase , this one will pass too.

Nice That is quite the statement! Since when did having celiac disease become a choice?

[cgilsing]

Grrrr what is wrong with her! Take comfort in the fact that she is not only rude and obnoxious, but also ignorant. I have heard of people "following" the gluten-free diet by choice rather than neccessity. I'm not sure why....it seems pointless. Anyway, maybe that is what she was refering to as the "fad". At any rate I would have corrected her that Celiac is not a diet. It is a disease. And people who suffer from Celiac Disease must follow a strict gluten-free diet for the rest of their life or face major life-threatening complications as well as constant pain and suffering due to their immune system falsely recognizing gluten as a threat and in response attacking their internal organs. Given the alternative I don't think this "fad" diet will pass.....at least for those of us who can't live a normal life without it! Maybe that would shut her up!

[popoki321]

You have all given me a few really good ways to handle this....I especially like the sneezing one!

I had a few good laughs...which I really need right about now.

I walked away from the situation because I just couldn't deal. I'm still adjusting to it myself. Maybe it's too soon to go out into a sitaution where I have no control over the food.

Had I know this person and gave a hoot about what she thought and had she asked a question about the disease rather than make a statement that made no sense whatsoever, I might have taken the time to explain it to her. I do think it should be more publicized...maybe more people would get the help they need if they were diagnosed. However, I also think people need to know just how serious this can be and that it is not a fad, but a disease. I'm all for educating the people who want to be educated. She obviously wasn't one of them.

The person who made the comment isn't someone I socialize with or really even know for that matter. My real friends would NEVER trivialize what we all go through on a daily basis. It's strange how I felt like I had to defend myself for having Celiac. It's people like this that make me want to stay home. I never would let them do that to me...but sometimes you just want to eat without having to explain. It's getting exhausting.

And it's only been a week and a half.

Yesterday I was angry but today I am happy.

I was invited to a dinner party this weekend and my friend made my day. She asked what I can and can't eat , she took the time to go to the organic section of the supermarket, read the labels and pick up a few things that I can eat that that she will be making for everyone. Big salad w/ gluten-free dressing, Polenta with homemade Pesto Sauce, and a chicken dish that she assures me will be safe for me and I know it will be.

It made me feel good to know I won't be the focus of attention at dinner. We'll all be eating the same food.

She even made gluten-free brownies... for everyone..not just me. I'm not sure I'm going to share though!

[penguin]

Yesterday I was angry but today I am happy.

I was invited to a dinner party this weekend and my friend made my day. She asked what I can and can't eat , she took the time to go to the organic section of the supermarket, read the labels and pick up a few things that I can eat that that she will be making for everyone. Big salad w/ gluten-free dressing, Polenta with homemade Pesto Sauce, and a chicken dish that she assures me will be safe for me and I know it will be.

Glad you have a supportive friend!

When I started and was depressed, I told my best friend and she said, "my cousin has celiac and I always loved going to her house because the gluten free rice crispy treats were so good. this could be the best thing that ever happened to you!" I nearly cried because I hadn't thought about it that way

Surround yourself with negativity and that's all you'll have, surround yourself with love, and that's all you'll have, too!

Living well is the best revenge!

[floridanative]

popoki321 - Wow you are lucky to have such a great friend. I too was touched when my girlfriend told me she was throwing herself a 40th b-day tea party and wanted to know what she could do to help me come and enjoy myself. I appreciated her thoughtfulness so much. I'm taking my own gluten-free scones. gluten-free lemon curd and tea sandwiches made with gluten-free bread. It'll be a bit of a hassle but at least I won't be sitting home wishing I was at the party having tea and champagne enjoying myself. Oh and I'm not sharing any of my goodies with others. My goat cheese cucumber sandwiches are to die for and the caterer doing the food for the party doesn't offer that option. So I'll be the only one with that particular treat.

[jerseyangel]

What a wonderful friend you have--glad you're feeling better about everything today. People like the one that made the comment are not worth worring about

[elonwy]

Some people are just idiots. I (had) a friend that started laughing at me every time we would be in a food situation together because he thought it was funny! I told him to his face that I thought he was an A@@ and we don't hang out anymore.

My reply would have been something like "Oh yeah, remember when Lupus and MS were the thing to get? God I'm glad that's over." And then I'd probably call her an idiot or something along those lines. Life is too short to have to deal with stupid people.

Thank God for the good friends that try and care.

Elonwy

[floridanative]

quote]Life is too short to have to deal with stupid people.

Thank God for the good friends that try and care.

Elonwy

[Judyin Philly]

ChelsE--how profound is this

Surround yourself with negativity and that's all you'll have, surround yourself with love, and that's all you'll have, too!

Living well is the best revenge!

I couldn't say it better and so believe this...

Popoki--

It will get better, promise

I remember when i first started how it seemed so many events surrounded food.

I'm not recomending what I did to cope, but I stayed close to home and didn't attend any events that had 'food' as the focus..Like a garden club luncheon, etc.

I just focused on what foods i could eat and then in the next month, researched 2 resturants where i could go with hubby and friends and take my salad dressing and rice crackers...

Your lucky to have this friend and alot more out there I'm sure.

You just happened to hit a 'rude, stupid, b**** during the first week..god bless you..

Into my 7th month and have 2 resturants where to chef knows me and is excited to think of ways to cook my food when we go out. Don't trust any other resturants yet...

Good luck and 'don't let the negativity' get you down. Since I only have friends now who are positive and upbeat...dumped the others about 4 years ago Lifes been fun and positive.

judy in philly

[Random Guy]

not to wish any disease on anyone, but...

maybe if some celebrity was diagnosed with celiac disease, and talked about it in the tabloid magazines and tv, maybe it WOULD become the in thing.

i know, what a stupid thing to post, but go with me on this for a minute...

let's say jenifer aniston had celiac. she's a celebrity who people don't generally hate, what with just being dumped by her pretty husband for that temptress anjelina, blah blah blah

If she talked about it, more people would know about it, like maybe waiters and waitresses (here in NYC, they are all actors anyway), and maybe chefs. and that would be a good thing

and maybe even more restaurants that cater to celiac (the janifer aniston menu?) would pop up here and there.

i know, it's a rediculous thought. and I wouldn't wish a disease on anyone, but still, in america, right or wrong, celebrity endorsements can go a long way

(just trying to keep it light)

-rg