Another Pizza Party At Work

[lpellegr]

Yet again the reward (or occasionally enticement) for the team having accomplished some horrible goal at work is to bring in pizza. Yay, yahoo, my enthusiasm knows no bounds. I will join in the jolly fellowship, drink some Coke, and sit at the far end of the table to avoid getting their crumbs in my lunch from home. I assure them I'm fine, thanks, there's nothing they can get me from the pizza place, it's okay, they don't have to struggle to find something to include poor little me, but inwardly I stew in my bitter celiac juices and wish them all digestive harm. Okay, I'm being overly dramatic, it has been a frustrating couple of months, but don't you just wish there was some appropriate way to balance out the karma of having to watch them scarf down hot, cheesy, doughy triangles of joy while you don't? Does this happen to you and what goes on in YOUR heads? The doughnuts, the birthday cakes, the continental breakfasts at the hotel where your business meeting is (which has no other breakfast option). I did bring in Enjoy Life No-Oats Oatmeal cookies once after giving up on trying to eat them, which was almost like revenge as I watched the look of revulsion on each person's face as they tried one (they still remember the "shellfish-free" cookies with awe). What would be an appropriate way to balance karma?

[Guest cassidy]

I feel for you. I just won a year long sales contest. My reward - a week in Cancun. I'm excited and terrified. Out of the country where I can't bring along snacks, I don't speak the language, and I'm hundreds of miles from the nearest Whole Foods without a car.

I also have to bring meals to my customers 4 times a week, so I'm constantly in the position of watching people eat food that I bring for them, but can't eat. I wish we didn't have to have a discussion with every meal about the fact that I'm eating something different, but that is how it goes.

I really haven't figured out how to deal with this and keep a great attitude. I just try to think how lucky I am to be feeling better and I don't have to take pills every day. I also think about how healthy I'm eating and that these pizza-eating people are probably on their way to extra pounds and heart disease - that is a bit of karma (but sorta mean).

[lpellegr]

Good luck in Cancun. I'd be scared, too. Heck, being out for the day is a chore, being in California for a week was a challenge (half my suitcase was food), I can't imagine dealing with another country. I hope it goes well.

[VydorScope]

Bring lobster Or ribs. Make THEM jealous

[tarnalberry]

I honestly don't understand the consternation.

The pizza thing happened to me, litterally 10 minutes ago. I politely declines. They offered to find something else for me, I said it wasn't a worry, I brought my own food. It's not a big deal, because I choose not to stew in it.

I could stew in it. I used to do that, a few years ago. I remember being bitter about it one Christmas, with all the christmas work parties I was going to (a couple different groups I was a part of at work, either myself or through my husband who worked at the same company in a related group), and feeling just tired of it all. And then I remembered that I was in counseling for other issues, and one of the things we'd work on was cognitive modification - you change what you think.

You sit there mentally grumbling and are unhappy about the situation? Then stop mentally grumbling. Think about something else entirely. If you aren't happy about a situation, and you can't change it, think about something else that you can be happy about. Focus on the positive instead of the negative, or at least don't focus on the negative. It's a mental exercise, and a perspective thing. But the more you mentally focus on the negative, the more it will affect you and the more it will make you unhappy.

At some point, it *is* a choice to remain unhappy about it. I'm not saying you should be happy that you can't eat the food they bring in. But there is a place of neutrality that can at least serve not to drag you down further, or at least serve not to shove you forcefully down a steep cliff. :-)

[jennyj]

Of all the things I've given up the last 4 weeks, Monday will be a month, the one thing I miss the most is pizza. It doesn't help my neice who lives with me works in a...you guessed it... a pizza parlor. But I am so thankful to them because they are actually looking for ways to make me my favorite type of pizza. I miss it but I feel better so that is more important.

[Deej]

I am in this position a great deal (several times each week) - cake for birthdays, pizza lunches, meetings where sandwiches are brought in.

I used to get very upset (not angry, but embarrassed because I didn't like telling the "I'm a Celiac" story each time). Over time I came to accept that people meant to be kind (often offering to get something special for me) and that the better part of valour for me was to simply bring my own lunch or decline the cake or whatever - my responsibility, not theirs. Lately, people who have come to understand my disease at work order fruit or a salad for me without even discussing it - I'm really lucky, I know. Two weeks ago I went out of town for a board meeting and when I arrived at lunchtime they were so excited to show me that they had got me a "special" meal. I was really touched but, alas, ended up upset when I had to tell them that a lactose free sandwich isn't really gluten-free. But they tried, right, they made an effort and were mortified that the caterer had it wrong, and I am sure next time they'll have something available that I can eat.

The more difficult thing is travel - airports are impossible, airline food is unsafe (where there actually is food, which isn't often any more!) and hotel breakfasts are unpredictable.

All that said, I understand the frustration expressed here and there are days when I feel a tad grouchy being confronted over a lunch meeting by all that bread!

[jknnej]

I just politely decline and usually people feel so sorry for me the sympathy makes me feel better:)

Plus, I think of all the calories they're eating that I'm not!!!! LOL

[Jnkmnky]

I honestly don't understand the consternation.

The pizza thing happened to me, litterally 10 minutes ago. I politely declines. They offered to find something else for me, I said it wasn't a worry, I brought my own food. It's not a big deal, because I choose not to stew in it.

I could stew in it. I used to do that, a few years ago. I remember being bitter about it one Christmas, with all the christmas work parties I was going to (a couple different groups I was a part of at work, either myself or through my husband who worked at the same company in a related group), and feeling just tired of it all. And then I remembered that I was in counseling for other issues, and one of the things we'd work on was cognitive modification - you change what you think.

You sit there mentally grumbling and are unhappy about the situation? Then stop mentally grumbling. Think about something else entirely. If you aren't happy about a situation, and you can't change it, think about something else that you can be happy about. Focus on the positive instead of the negative, or at least don't focus on the negative. It's a mental exercise, and a perspective thing. But the more you mentally focus on the negative, the more it will affect you and the more it will make you unhappy.

At some point, it *is* a choice to remain unhappy about it. I'm not saying you should be happy that you can't eat the food they bring in. But there is a place of neutrality that can at least serve not to drag you down further, or at least serve not to shove you forcefully down a steep cliff. :-)

Totally agree with you here. I was thinking how to reply to the original poster with this very sentiment.

Alcoholics can't have drinks at parties, diabetics can't eat the junk food. There are so many injustices every day. We all suffer with them. Just be glad you can hang out in company you enjoy and have a great conversation about anything but Celiac disease!

[carriecraig]

My last company brought in a cake for everyones bday, had pizza or subs brought in almost every week it seemed. I loved it before I was diagnosed - yeah, I didn't have to bring a lunch. Once diagnosed, I just decided not to sit with everyone while they were eating so I didn't get the comments - "Oh, I would die if I could eat pizza, beer, pasta, etc."

I did have a campanion to commiserate with - a colleague of mine had ulcerative colitis, and was doing the SCD. I wouldn't grumble, but just miss everything that smelled so delicious. I felt good with the fact that I was healing and no longer running to the bathroom 6+ times each day.

No one ever wanted to try any of my food, and since there was a limited amount, I certainly didn't offer it to anyone.

[CeliaCruz]

I'm a freelancer and every so often I get these nightmare gigs where the office is completely disorganized and I am basically being thrown to the wolves. Despite the fact that they don't know me from Adam and I know nothing of their methods and expectations, I am put in charge of some insanely complex project where I am given absolutely no direction or encouragement....and a lot of unconstructive criticism. When this happens, I am not shy about sitting down with someone in charge and explaining that as a freelancer, I can walk out at anytime and basically leave everyone up $hit's creek without a paddle and if things continue as they are, that is precisely what will happen.

I cannot tell you how many times, after I have this conversation, one of the principals will run up to me all excited and announce, "hey Matthew, there's pizza in the conference room!" And they always have this look on their face like they are bestowing me with some great honor. Oh and if it's early in the morning, same thing except donuts.

Here's the deal. I don't necessarily expect people to anticipate my food allergies/intolerances/whatever. Celiac is an uncommon condition and a lot of people just don't think about stuff like that. Fine. Whatever. What does bug me is, let's say that I CAN eat wheat. Guess what? This is New York City. I can take the elevator downstairs, walk in any direction for a block or so and BUY MY OWN SLICE OF PIZZA for two bucks. Oh, and I can choose my own toppings too.

If you want to make me a happy camper, give me a raise. Better yet, offer me a position with benefits and give me carte blanche to straighten out the disorganization. If you don't want to do that, assign me a helper for the duration of the project who already knows the lay of the land. There are dozens of things you can do to make my life easier, but PIZZA? F&ck that $hit!

[Jnkmnky]

I'm a freelancer and every so often I get these nightmare gigs where the office is completely disorganized and I am basically being thrown to the wolves. Despite the fact that they don't know me from Adam and I know nothing of their methods and expectations, I am put in charge of some insanely complex project where I am given absolutely no direction or encouragement....and a lot of unconstructive criticism. When this happens, I am not shy about sitting down with someone in charge and explaining that as a freelancer, I can walk out at anytime and basically leave everyone up $hit's creek without a paddle and if things continue as they are, that is precisely what will happen.

I cannot tell you how many times, after I have this conversation, one of the principals will run up to me all excited and announce, "hey Matthew, there's pizza in the conference room!" And they always have this look on their face like they are bestowing me with some great honor. Oh and if it's early in the morning, same thing except donuts.

Here's the deal. I don't necessarily expect people to anticipate my food allergies/intolerances/whatever. Celiac is an uncommon condition and a lot of people just don't think about stuff like that. Fine. Whatever. What does bug me is, let's say that I CAN eat wheat. Guess what? This is New York City. I can take the elevator downstairs, walk in any direction for a block or so and BUY MY OWN SLICE OF PIZZA for two bucks. Oh, and I can choose my own toppings too.

If you want to make me a happy camper, give me a raise. Better yet, offer me a position with benefits and give me carte blanche to straighten out the disorganization. If you don't want to do that, assign me a helper for the duration of the project who already knows the lay of the land. There are dozens of things you can do to make my life easier, but PIZZA? F&ck that $hit!

Right ON! Since when is PIZZA a reward anyway??? It's one of the foods (along with Oodles of Noodles) that I swore off when I graduated college! BLEEECH!

[lpellegr]

I agree, you're right, I don't have to stew over the unfairness of it all, and most of the time I sigh and just accept it, but sometimes my evil little mind just likes to think of how nice if I could put each of them in my shoes (or my stomach's shoes) for a day. Especially since this "reward" was for something we didn't want to do (or need to do, IMHO). I do diabetes research, so I certainly know I could be much worse off. I'm certainly not underfed, and there are plenty of things I can eat, but I can dream that they bring me my own lobster (or a pint of Ben and Jerry's) when everyone else gets pizza, can't I? Or that they all get hives from eating it, or spend the night nauseous on the bathroom floor, or cramp up all afternoon, etc, etc......

[tarnalberry]

I agree, you're right, I don't have to stew over the unfairness of it all, and most of the time I sigh and just accept it, but sometimes my evil little mind just likes to think of how nice if I could put each of them in my shoes (or my stomach's shoes) for a day...

lol... if you've got a stopwatch, allocate five minutes for dreaming up dreadful scenarios like this. or, just as long as their in the pizza line. you can imagine them getting horribly sick over the pizza, fighting for bathroom stalls, and walking around in a fog the rest of the day. but once they get back from getting their pizza, games over, time for happy thoughts. then you get to indulge the devil in your shoulder, but also exercise the happy thoughts! :-)

[Rusla]

I would have to agree that, many times I feel like I miss pizza the most. I thought for sure I would miss chocolate cake. However, their pizza may temporarily smell enticing but I think of all the pain that goes with that pizza. I know I can go home and make my own pizza qith goat cheese and it will taste a lot better than their pizza. Not only that but I can enjoy it knowing I will not suffer once I eat my pizza.

[hlm34]

I think everyone just needs to vent once in awhile. I dont think its neccessarily feeling sorry for yourself - its just venting. if you cant do it here - where can you do it??

BTW, i miss lots of foods - but as i explain to my friends - its not really the food - i could really care less about a piece of pizza. Its the social aspect of it. Not getting to join in, constantly feeling like an outsider. I agree a pizza day isnt much of a reward - but you dont even get that! You have to watch everyone eat that reward in front of you. Its hard to feel camaraderie with your co-workers sometimes. Or when my team and i are done with a big basketball game - our team goes out for beer and pizza - okay, i'll bring my corn chips. It just feels socially akward - and yeah i will get over it, it is NOT the end of the world - it just sucks - thats all. Know what i mean??

[hlm34]

talk about karma - so i complain this morning - and then this afternoon my advertising agency whom i have been struggling with for awhile sends me a gift. The note thanks me for my cooperation and hard work, which is really sweet and thoughtful. - the gift? boxes of girl scout cookies! Oh well - i handed them to my hardworking team. Still i thought it was pretty funny.

[corinne]

We have pizza, cake etc. all the time at work or for rewards etc. I usually keep some stuff I really like at my desk and then eat that when the pizza etc comes in. That way I can socialize without feeling like I'm missing out. I don't think it's fair that my coworkers should miss out on the stuff they really like because of me. My diet is my responsibility.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

If pizza is such a big deal for you (and if it is, it is!), can you keep n Emergency Pizza kit at work? Maybe a couple of corn tortillas or a couple of slices of frozen Kinnikinnick white sandwich bread, a small can of tomato sauce, some shredded mozzarella or sliced provolone (the circles fit perfectly on the corn tortillas), and some dried Italian Seasoning? Works wonderfully in an oven, a toaster oven, and reasonably well in a microwave. That way, you can join in socially, have the Pizza Experience, and not get sick.

Oh--half of your office mates probably have problems with gluten--they just don't know it yet....

[penguin]

talk about karma - so i complain this morning - and then this afternoon my advertising agency whom i have been struggling with for awhile sends me a gift. The note thanks me for my cooperation and hard work, which is really sweet and thoughtful. - the gift? boxes of girl scout cookies! Oh well - i handed them to my hardworking team. Still i thought it was pretty funny.

I'm going to call 2006 the year of the irony. When I was dx'ed, my house had 96 cases of Girl Scout cookies in it! That's what I get for conning DH into being my cookie coordinator! Luckily, I don't like them much anymore, since I sold them for 10 years and gorged on them annually.

Why is the reward always food? Why not a sweater, or even a nice cushy pair of socks?

[lonewolf]

I coach my daughter's Middle School girls' basketball team and we are having our end of the season party tonight at a pizza parlor. Luckily they have a good salad bar that is safe to eat. At team parties I ALWAYS have people say things like, "Oh, too bad you can't have pizza, that must be so hard" or "What a bummer, how can you have that much willpower?" I usually say something like, "I really don't mind, I feel great when I avoid the foods I shouldn't eat and horrible when I cheat. I'm so glad I'm healthy enough to coach the girls!" That's really how I feel, although it's not always that easy when the pizza smells so good.

Often another parent will comment on how active I am and what great shape I'm in and say that maybe they should think about cutting out "some of that stuff" too or stick to salad.

[Guest cassidy]

I think everyone just needs to vent once in awhile. I dont think its neccessarily feeling sorry for yourself - its just venting. if you cant do it here - where can you do it??

BTW, i miss lots of foods - but as i explain to my friends - its not really the food - i could really care less about a piece of pizza. Its the social aspect of it. Not getting to join in, constantly feeling like an outsider. I agree a pizza day isnt much of a reward - but you dont even get that! You have to watch everyone eat that reward in front of you. Its hard to feel camaraderie with your co-workers sometimes. Or when my team and i are done with a big basketball game - our team goes out for beer and pizza - okay, i'll bring my corn chips. It just feels socially akward - and yeah i will get over it, it is NOT the end of the world - it just sucks - thats all. Know what i mean??

I agree that is isn't actually the food that bothers me. It is the fact I can't be like everyone else and do what they are doing and just be a part of the group. It is definitely the social aspect that is the hardest for me.

[Mango04]

BTW, i miss lots of foods - but as i explain to my friends - its not really the food - i could really care less about a piece of pizza. Its the social aspect of it. Not getting to join in, constantly feeling like an outsider. I agree a pizza day isnt much of a reward - but you dont even get that! You have to watch everyone eat that reward in front of you. Its hard to feel camaraderie with your co-workers sometimes. Or when my team and i are done with a big basketball game - our team goes out for beer and pizza - okay, i'll bring my corn chips. It just feels socially akward - and yeah i will get over it, it is NOT the end of the world - it just sucks - thats all. Know what i mean??

That's EXACTLY how I feel about it!

[qwertyui]

I am self employed but work in conjunction with my Father. When he has a "company" BBQ in the middle of the day (which he does), he has burgers for everyone and throws some shrimp on the BBQ for me. Could you maybe take aside your boss (or who ever orders the pizza) and ask then to order some buffalo wings or something that you could take your share of them pass them around? Most pizza places do wings as well, and often they are baked, or fried in designated fryers, and most of them are not dusted with flour. I have asked, read labels and seen with my own 2 eyes. Just a thought!

Also - there is a great pizza crust recipe in the Bette Hagman cookbook that I have, and you could make pizza and bring it in! I often make my own pizza, my Dh orders one and we have pizza night!

[awesomeame]

just be happy with the knowledge that you're eating good & healthy, and that your arteries won't be clogged from all that pizza fat at an early age! pizza is horrible for you, let all those calories and fat go on someone else's ass

--matt