The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[TriticusToxicum]

Patti said "I love me some Chuck Norris"

Patti can't help it. She is a woman after all, and Chuck Norris is...well, CHUCK NORRIS!

Open Original Shared Link

My Queen, I do thinketh thou hast maketh me blusheth

[Mtndog]

Chuck Norris is NOT GAY!

The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie.

Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Any more questions?

Agreed. And yes, Patti is a woman. Slow Tuesday indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

The Queen humbly apologizes for making the King blusheth!

BRING ON THE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!

[nikki-uk]

Chuck Norris is NOT GAY!

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

That's alright then !!

[blueeyedmanda]

That's alright then !!

It's like being in a drought....you go with the next best choice....

[TriticusToxicum]

It's like being in a drought....you go with the next best choice....

...ahem..."any port in a storm"

[blueeyedmanda]

...ahem..."any port in a storm"

LOL!!! You know, I was typing that reply while on the phone...I was thinking of something I heard on TV.

[TriticusToxicum]

This just in. My nomination for Open Original Shared Link. Absolutely DISGRACEFUL.

Send forth the Care Bears, the brain scan came back "negative".

[tom]

Oh oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I missed such a busy day. The flurry of posts might be better called a blizzard!

Quick Tip: In a blizzard, let the Yeti lead.

(Hard to say "let the Yeti lead" 3x fast w/out a "yet the .. . ." sneaking out)

Simply atrocious timing for my crappy day. Maybe crappiest since May. I *did* try to read some in the AM, but wasn't even capable of a smile, much less the giggles and guffaws those posts deserved. So I stopped, to save them for a better mood.

I was thinking it could've been caused by the organic tomatoes I tried the day before. Or the far-older-than-usual rice tortilla. But I think I have to go w/ breathing FREAKING BATTERY ACID FUMES!!!!!!

I bought a brand spankin new car battery the day before my last trip and had it in the trunk. (Or sort of a trunk, it's more of a hatchback but a partition thingy makes it not look hatchbacky. Airflow knows it's not really a trunk) (sorry Nikki, I can't write 'boot'. Even my skiboots aren't big enough for a car battery)

Anyway .. . . . . I go to put the new battery in and find that, while IT seems perfectly intact and unmolested, the cardboard box it was in has disintegrated in spots AND under that the carpeting has a completely bald area AND under that the particle board over the spare tyre is stained and partly eaten thru!!

HAD to at least drive for food - was away 12 days.

All the acid-soaked parts have been removed and today seems better so far .. . .. ..but a big GRRRRRRRRR for the timing of missing such a busy fun day!!!

King Richard posting more here than *I've* ever witnessed and I'm stuck unable to join in. Never imagined Chuck Norris as an untapped (to me) source of hilarity!!

OK then . . ..I should be packing but gotta try catching up too.

Happy Friday everyone!!

[Jestgar]

Quick Tip: In a blizzard, let the Yeti lead.

(Hard to say "let the Yeti lead" 3x fast w/out a "yet the .. . ." sneaking out)

How did you even discover this....?

(visions of Tom walking through the supermarket muttering "let the yeti lead" as mothers surreptitiously pull their children to safety)

[blueeyedmanda]

How did you even discover this....?

(visions of Tom walking through the supermarket muttering "let the yeti lead" as mothers surreptitiously pull their children to safety)

Rainbow Brite---Love the avatar!

[elye]

Oh, boy, you miss more than eight hours on here, and you're scrambling....There's so much to respond to. Mygawd, it's like a literal thread of my workdesk. Gotta keep on it!

[tom]

Fraggle Rock too!

Schoolhouse Rock!!

conjunction junction . ... .what's my function .. . .

And you're ALL CERTIFIABLY INSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!

7 pages in ONE DAY??

Emily - LOL @ new av & I didn't even see the show!

[blueeyedmanda]

3 oh it's a magic number....yes it is....It's a magic number!

I have the School House Rock DVD's at home, something I want my future kids to be able to appreciate

[tom]

How did you even discover this....?

(visions of Tom walking through the supermarket muttering "let the yeti lead" as mothers surreptitiously pull their children to safety)

But it was one of the MOTHERS that started it!

I'm way back in the 'frozen exotics' section (hard to find if you don't know where to look btw) checking prices on emu breasts & tapir chops, when I hear this woman, apparently trying to remember a recipe, continue to repeat "baste the yeti meat"!

Ok ok the truth is I only said "let the yeti lead" in my HEAD and was unable to say it ONCE w/out "yet the . ." coming out instead. Hehehehe I expanded it to 3x cuz it seems too ridiculous to fail on 1st try.

[jerseyangel]

This just in. My nomination for Open Original Shared Link. Absolutely DISGRACEFUL.

Disgraceful is right Being in the area, this is all over our news both local and national. There are no words.....

Maybe crappiest since May.

OK then . . ..I should be packing but gotta try catching up too.

Sorry about the crappy day Stupid leaky car battery acid

I should be packing, too--this is my escape

[tom]

3 oh it's a magic number....yes it is....It's a magic number!

I have the School House Rock DVD's at home, something I want my future kids to be able to appreciate

3 IS a Magic Number!!

One of my fav early 90s Bay Area bands - contemporaries of Green Day before *they* hit it big - named Helen Keller Plaid used to do "3 is a Magic Number" at shows!!

Then wasn't it the mid-90s when a celiac disease -OOPS! Compact Disc! - of remakes of Schoolhouse Rock came out, all done by big name bands?

[Jestgar]

'let the yeti lead' he muttered

'lest the b@strds best the steed'

'boasting bastions, crumbling creed'

'brethren,let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead!' he pleaded

'swiftest flight on furry feet!'

'flights of fancy fear our fleet!'

'fathers, let the yeti lead!'

'let the yeti lead' he sighed

'sorrows swim in snowy climes'

'sadness swiftly, surely climbs'

'mothers, let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead' he whispered

'morning comes with frightening speed'

'fields strewn with deadly wheat'

'lie in wait to snare the chymes'

'sillies, let the yeti lead'

[TriticusToxicum]

'let the yeti lead' he muttered

'lest the b@strds best the steed'

'boasting bastions, crumbling creed'

'brethren,let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead!' he pleaded

'swiftest flight on furry feet!'

'flights of fancy fear our fleet!'

'fathers, let the yeti lead!'

'let the yeti lead' he sighed

'sorrows swim in snowy climes'

'sadness swiftly, surely climbs'

'mothers, let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead' he whispered

'morning comes with frightening speed'

'fields strewn with deadly wheat'

'lie in wait to snare the chymes'

'sillies, let the yeti lead'

But is the Yeti good with map and compass?

[Jestgar]

hmm, guess I should mention that yesterday was the first day in a week that I managed not to eat something 'bad' for me and so I'm in that curious state of having slept well last night after five days of 4-5 hours of sleep. Feel rested and yet I am completely exhausted, and hence, a bit loopy

[DingoGirl]

Good morning sillies.......

alas, I have not much time for silliness today, have lunch and dinner out and also must mow lawns and such before the true rain hits.......so there should be about four entire fewer pages in today's entries.

also am not feeling particularly silly.....alas, FULL BODY ACHE from running every day for the last two weeks in the orchard instead of walking......am falling apart. All of this in the futile attempt to lose 10 pounds (I"d even take five, for pete's sake)................... nearly impossible!!!!!!!!!!

that woman who BOUGHT ammo for her son ...............oh my gawd. Just look at her, sick in body and mind - - she is MY AGE and let herself become a psychotic blob, morphed into obesity from a pure gluten diet, no doubt. Psychotic, freaking IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot wait for her to receive the fate she deserves.............. in this life AND the hereafter. (remember I do transcribe the parole reports and have a modicum of knowledge of exactly what goes on in there. she'll not do well)

OH! such deep thoughts for the silly thread! mea culpa!

but BTW I CAN say (and easily, I might add), "let the yeti lead" three times out loud!!

carry on sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TriticusToxicum]

Feel rested and yet I am completely exhausted, and hence, a bit loopy

and quite poetic ta boot!

[DingoGirl]

OMG Richard! an actual photo of the chubacabra (sp?)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am askeert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jess - your poem - - just something you whipped up, all rested and refreshed? (and loopy)

[elye]

hmm, guess I should mention that yesterday was the first day in a week that I managed not to eat something 'bad' for me and so I'm in that curious state of having slept well last night after five days of 4-5 hours of sleep. Feel rested and yet I am completely exhausted, and hence, a bit loopy

Well, Jess, this explains the sudden ability to construct such sophisticated, intricate, well-metred poetry. Excellent work! I will ask my MIL about whether or not these creatures are adequate leaders. One assumes they are solitary, so I'm gonna guess that no, one should NOT Let any Yeti Lead. Perhaps those who have had some orienteering or Boy Scout Jamborees in their past....

...Man, can you see a Yeti in full Boy scout uniform? Sash, necker and all?

[TriticusToxicum]

Well, Jess, this explains the sudden ability to construct such sophisticated, intricate, well-metred poetry. Excellent work! I will ask my MIL about whether or not these creatures are adequate leaders. One assumes they are solitary, so I'm gonna guess that no, one should NOT Let any Yeti Lead. Perhaps those who have had some orienteering or Boy Scout Jamborees in their past....

...Man, can you see a Yeti in full Boy scout uniform? Sash, necker and all?

Sorry, we can't have the Boy Scouts and MJ in the same parade.

We'd be no better than the Uzi buying momma. (although we might get our photos on CNN )

[blueeyedmanda]

Boy you leave to have lunch and miss quite a bit....