The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[CarlaB]

Carla, I'll have an extra one for you tonight

Thank you, I knew I could count on you.

[Daughter-of-TheLight]

And listening to a mix of disney songs, Relient k, Wicked (the musical) and DC-Reto! ^^

[elye]

I'm on my THIRD load of laundry... with ONE to go! *groan* I'm running back and forth between the washing machine trying to keep up...

Four loads of laundry! Goodness, Daughter...and no little kids. What happened, didja get a mighty glutening?

[blueeyedmanda]

While you were all busy I was at the courthouse getting my marriage license!!!!!

[Jestgar]

While you were all busy I was at the courthouse getting my marriage license!!!!!

Thank heavens SOMEONE accomplished something today

[DingoGirl]

Phosphoric acid...caramel color...high frustose corn syrup...cocaine...bubbles that's all i can remember

Knew I could count on you. Must have been teh bubbles.

FEELS like an MSG reaction. Bugger.

warning: contains pictures of underpants

Well, clearly I"ll have to get a boyfriend so I can get me some of those bras.

I prefer Light. I got that nickname on the NeoBoards and like it a lot. (My username was lightinthedarkness. I WAS gonna use it here, but w/e...) And I don't expect anyone to type the whole thing out! I don't even do it...

But can't we call you by your REAL name? or see your picture? how do we even KNOW you're a teenaged girl, and not some fat middle-aged man in Intercourse, Pennsylvania? (or was that New Jersey?)

p.s. I have a recipe for homemade marshmallows, SUPER EEEZY to make, that will make you swoon!

Light, just had myself a bowl of marshmallows. Actually, its minimarshmallows, with milk chocolate chips, nuked for about 20 seconds, then throw some (gluten-free) crsipy rice cereal on top and eat with a spoon. It's a cross between a rice crispy treat and a s'more in a bowl. Mmmmmm . . . and I don't share!

stop it.......am not allowed a single, stinkin' treat these days! But, did get into several pairs of jeans. a good sign.

No . . . I don't think so . . . not enough support .

Speaking of support.....I walked into a lingerie store after lunch and said....I DEFY you to find a bra that fits me. "what size?" the hapless salesgirl asked brightly. "Thirty-eight A, with NO underwire and NO padding. They're fine on their own, thank you."

<---- and THAT's the standard look I receive.

It's an outrage, I tell you, AN OUTRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to have my own bra company, called Flattie Flats ("we're small but perky and proud of it!!" is our catchphrase) and make simple, beautiful cotton bras for people who don't naturally have or pay for breasts. harrumph!

Well, although it's nice to have moral support . . . it's just not enough to keep the girls in their proper position.

so pissed off......I WANT SOME!!!!!!!!!!!! (big boobs)

Carla, I'll have an extra one for you tonight

me too! at an Ethiopian restaurant....:huh (in Fresno? shouldn't last long)

While you were all busy I was at the courthouse getting my marriage license!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

I am down to 20 days!!! I am get very excited :)

[Darn210]

stop it.......am not allowed a single, stinkin' treat these days! But, did get into several pairs of jeans. a good sign.

Yeah, me too, they were a size bigger than this time last year, though . . . that's what marshmallows do to you.

so pissed off......I WANT SOME!!!!!!!!!!!! (big boobs)

Too Much is not good either. I can't find a swim suit that I don't burst out of . . . not the image I want . . . doesn't go with the rest of the over 40, had two kids, eat too many marshmallows body. And I DON'T WANT a striped top on the tankini in order to appear bigger!!

Time for a new av from my son. No we are not in the middle of a roll-over. Just the angle he took.

[DingoGirl]

Time for a new av from my son. No we are not in the middle of a roll-over. Just the angle he took.

future film director, I am telling you. Encourage the madness, he'll do well.

[elye]

Well, speaking of boobs:

What's the most popular size of brassiere in a nursing home?

38 long.

[DingoGirl]

Well, speaking of boobs:

What's the most popular size of brassiere in a nursing home?

38 long.

:lol:

one thing about the small breasts - no sagging.

But I am SOOOOOO gettin' me some fake ones.

[CarlaB]

While you were all busy I was at the courthouse getting my marriage license!!!!!

YAY!

Well, clearly I"ll have to get a boyfriend so I can get me some of those bras.

I thought you had one.

But can't we call you by your REAL name? or see your picture? how do we even KNOW you're a teenaged girl, and not some fat middle-aged man in Intercourse, Pennsylvania? (or was that New Jersey?)

She's a teenage, homeschooled girl, for heaven's sake, she's doing four loads of laundry! That's nothing in a homeschool household because they always have lots of kids!

How many brothers and sisters do you have Light?

stop it.......am not allowed a single, stinkin' treat these days! But, did get into several pairs of jeans. a good sign.

My jeans are all falling off again ....

me too! at an Ethiopian restaurant....:huh (in Fresno? shouldn't last long)

Thanks. We ate here tonight .... Open Original Shared Link

[Green12]

Well, speaking of boobs:

What's the most popular size of brassiere in a nursing home?

38 long.

one thing about the small breasts - no sagging.

see, defying gravity

But I am SOOOOOO gettin' me some fake ones.

NOOOooooooo! We are going to be a planet of the big boobed one of these days, nothing but big boobs everywhere you turn.

Balance in everything, even boobs. We need a variety of sizes imo.

[Darn210]

Well, speaking of boobs:

I thought the next line was going to be:

Where's Tom?

Sorry Tom, it wasn't me . . . Emily started it.

[elye]

I thought the next line was going to be:

Where's Tom?

Sorry Tom, it wasn't me . . . Emily started it.

Oh, dear...Tom isn't one of those Men With Boobs, is he? Forget the clinical name...a male with excessive estrogen. A Mestrogen? If this is the case, Lord (...or Lady? Laddie?) Tom should absolutely lead this parade, as it seems to be taking on an air of sexual ambivalence...MJ, Chuck, and I've always wondered about Charlton and his obsession with tough-man leading roles and ever-so manly firearms. We could have a holiday declared on the parade launch, and subsidies from various human rights groups if we play this right...

[CarlaB]

Oh, dear...Tom isn't one of those Men With Boobs, is he?

No, Tom doesn't have big boobs, he IS a big boob!

Here's an old one I found:

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, but she eventually says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!?"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend more time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Let's get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you - she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear. Let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either - but at least that witch knows I'm smarter than her.

[blueeyedmanda]

No, Tom doesn't have big boobs, he IS a big boob!

hehe

[CarlaB]

No, Tom doesn't have big boobs, he IS a big boob!

hehe

I already said that ... with the same emphasis!

[tom]

I thought the next line was going to be:

Where's Tom?

Sorry Tom, it wasn't me . . . Emily started it.

:lol: another time I'm glad I wasn't drinking while reading.

( . . . .sure seems like it was you! )

OK, a little backtracking now, but w/out using the forum's quoting. I've gotten impatient w/ waiting for all the pageloads on this phone, not that I love it any less, just that I have more to do now - VERY unlike June/July.

Jess - "'let the yeti lead' he muttered " etc

LMAO! Well done!

Richard - "But is the Yeti good with map and compass? "

It's a whiteout blizzard!! Maps are useless when we can't even see the big furry paw in front of our face.

Jess - poem #2 !!

"Hey! Who ate Chuck Heston's goat?"

"YOWIE!" "YOWIE!"

"Hey! It is NOT a costume"

(Again, tom happy to have not been drinking while reading)

Amanda!! Yay for the license!!

P.S. Carla/Amanda - looks to me like Amanda MEANT to quote Carla, but it came out looking like her own post.

And Carla you really don't need the word "big" in the sentence "No, Tom doesn't have big boobs, he IS a big boob!"

You can simply leave it unqualified and lose none of the truth in it.

No boobs at all for me, thank you. Not medium, not big, not small.

[blueeyedmanda]

I already said that ... with the same emphasis!

I was laughing at your comment, it wouldnt let me quote you, silly computer

[Green12]

I was laughing at your comment, it wouldnt let me quote you, silly computer

...or maybe silly board It seems to be doing strange things for me the last couple of days, like double posts and something about flooding....

[nikki-uk]

'let the yeti lead' he muttered

'lest the b@strds best the steed'

'boasting bastions, crumbling creed'

'brethren,let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead!' he pleaded

'swiftest flight on furry feet!'

'flights of fancy fear our fleet!'

'fathers, let the yeti lead!'

'let the yeti lead' he sighed

'sorrows swim in snowy climes'

'sadness swiftly, surely climbs'

'mothers, let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead' he whispered

'morning comes with frightening speed'

'fields strewn with deadly wheat'

'lie in wait to snare the chymes'

'sillies, let the yeti lead'

Oh FANTASTIC!!!!!! I LOVE IT !!!!!!

We MUST try and get it published (all proceeds going towards 'the silly parade')

[Daughter-of-TheLight]

Four loads of laundry! Goodness, Daughter...and no little kids. What happened, didja get a mighty glutening?

No, I have a mom and a dad and a little brother that IN-SISTS on getting himself dirty 50-billion times a day. He just broke his ankle... (NOOO!!! HE'S STUCK INSIDE THE HOUSE!! SOMEONE SAVE ME!!)

[Daughter-of-TheLight]

But can't we call you by your REAL name? or see your picture? how do we even KNOW you're a teenaged girl, and not some fat middle-aged man in Intercourse, Pennsylvania? (or was that New Jersey?)

Um... you can't call me by my real name or see my picture becuase my mom doesn't want me getting stalked. How do you know I'm a teenaged girl? Well, for starters, If I WAS a middle-aged man I would probably give a fake name and a fake pic. SO there. And I'm from Florida, for starters... (Hey, I had to pick one fact, and that was it.) But.... if you REALLY want to call me by my real name... *mutters something about stupidity and how mom will ground me till i'm 18 if she finds out* ... It's Katie. And that's about all i'm giving away.

[Daughter-of-TheLight]

She's a teenage, homeschooled girl, for heaven's sake, she's doing four loads of laundry! That's nothing in a homeschool household because they always have lots of kids!

How many brothers and sisters do you have Light?