The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[blueeyedmanda]

9 more days till my wedding.

The weather channel long range forecast says cloudy and high 58....my wedding day and its the coldest day of the season Keep your fingers crossed for no rain!!!!

[Green12]

Julie- Are you a baseball fan? Are you excited about Colorado? I am NOT a baseball lover- give me my HOCKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. I know- that's like treason where I live (in Red Sox Nation).

Not really, I used to be a huge Brave fan. I'm happy for the Rockies though, we have sucked for a lot of years so it's good to see and the city has gone mad, the whole state has gone mad!

Sorry so many are under the weather. Amanda and Bev, and Sarah, you guys feel better

9 days until the wedding?? OMG it is coming up fast. Keeping fingers crossed for great weather, and for you to feel better!

I've seen Carla in other threads, but she's been feeling so good lately she has been out and about and away from the computer

Patti- I'm glad I am not alone in seeing the humoUr of Dirty Sexy Money There are quite a few touching moments as well. I love that actor from Six Feet Under too

Nikki- love the meerkat avatar. I have wanted to watch that series called Meerkat manor on the Discovery channel I think it is, they are so cute.

[Ridgewalker]

Thanks Julie! I actually am doing a little better today. Less groggy, less pukey.

Amanda, yes, it's absolutely worth taking some time to get better!!!

It's rainy here, too, which is good, we need it so bad. My dog is such a big sissy, she doesn't want to go outside to pee. I asked her, "What's wrong, don't remember what rain is like?"

I talk to my dog all the time. She's been acting all Cujo-y the past week, and I had a sit-down talk with her last night. I told her, "Ok furface, I'm saving my money up to get you a hysterectomy, and possibly some doggy Prozac. So just try to chill for a while, ok?"

She seemed cool with that.

[elye]

BEAUTIFUL weather here...sun and 20 degrees C. We're praying to the sun gods for the wedding day, Amanda...and yes, stay home tomorrow. All you'll probably miss is a few flatulous moments from your cubie.

I have volunteered for things already, so I'm not offering to wash RS's leotard. It's all yours, Queen Bev! A much worse job, I feel, would be washing his hair. He's got quite a mop of ridiculousness.

A good one that is circulating electronically:

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get in a little PR.

After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his

hand and George asks him his name.

"

Stanley

," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Stanley ?"

"I have 4 questions:

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"

Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when

[jerseyangel]

9 more days till my wedding.

The weather channel long range forecast says cloudy and high 58....my wedding day and its the coldest day of the season Keep your fingers crossed for no rain!!!!

Crossing my fingers and toes Can't believe it's only 9 more days!

[jerseyangel]

I used to be a huge Brave fan.

Patti- I'm glad I am not alone in seeing the humoUr of Dirty Sexy Money There are quite a few touching moments as well. I love that actor from Six Feet Under too

I'm a Braves fan, too!!! We lived there for 71/2 years and caught the fever We used to take the boys to games as well as my parents when they visited. My dad is a big-time Braves fan--and he lives in Syracuse. I have a 1991 Team Ball--signed by the whole team--it was a Christmas gift from Mark. All the greats--Nixon, Pendelton, Gant, Lemke,--the great pitchers......do you remember the "slide" (Sid Bream--one of the greatest moments in baseball history)?

Lots of tongue in cheek humor on Dirty Sexy Money--and I love Peter Krause, too. He was really good on SFU, but he's so cute on this show--it's not so dark.

[Jestgar]

Ok, VERY crappy day yesterday. Went home all depressed needing to indulge in some inappropriate behavior to make myself feel so bad physically that I could ignore the emotional bad.

Hmm, overeat? Nope. all the good stuff is breaded and deep fried. Celery doesn't cut it.

Get drunk? Nope. Cocktails are too expensive and you just can't develop a good 'depression drunk' on wine.

Controlled substances? Nope. My body doesn't react consistently to any chemicals so that's just way to scary to contemplate.

I finally realized that the most self-destructive behavior I could engage in is not brushing my teeth before going to bed.

Just not the same impact

[jerseyangel]

I finally realized that the most self-destructive behavior I could engage in is not brushing my teeth before going to bed.

OMG--say it ain't so

I hope today is a much better one for you

[DingoGirl]

Why are you farting at Nikki's little kitty . . . what did he ever do to you?

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! :lol:

Back to flatus are we??

Have we ever LEFT it?

I shot the worst round of golf in my life today, but at least I got laid

Nine more days! Yay! Yes, a day of rest sounds good.

I talk to my dog all the time. She's been acting all Cujo-y the past week, and I had a sit-down talk with her last night. I told her, "Ok furface, I'm saving my money up to get you a hysterectomy, and possibly some doggy Prozac. So just try to chill for a while, ok?"

Excellent....definitely try the Prozac - I have heard it can work well for some psycho dogs. Considering something for my stinker - who has permanently taken to her bed in teh back bedroom. Scared of everything lately - bizarre.

And Sixth, what the f**k happened to Stanley ?"

:lol:

I finally realized that the most self-destructive behavior I could engage in is not brushing my teeth before going to bed.

Just not the same impact

Way to live on the edge, Jess! Next time, try the wine and then - maybe smoke a whole pack of cigarettes? that should do it...

Here's hoping today is better.

Well, could be a slow day here, seems we've got a few members MIA, Bob Goulet is in the hospital, Bev has a nasty cold, Richard's painting houses....

I feel so lonely here today.

[nikki-uk]

Nikki- love the meerkat avatar. I have wanted to watch that series called Meerkat manor on the Discovery channel I think it is, they are so cute.

Oh Julie! ...I LOVED that programME!!!

My favoUrite was Youssarian - bit of a rebel & he was never the same after that bump on his head!

I finally realized that the most self-destructive behavior I could engage in is not brushing my teeth before going to bed.

Well you know what they say...Live fast - die young (ummm can NOT brushing your teeth at night cause you to DIE!!! )

[DingoGirl]

Well you know what they say...Live fast - die young (ummm can NOT brushing your teeth at night cause you to DIE!!! )

confession: I brush my teeth, then often eat snacks in bed (sunflower seeds, tortilla chips, whatever) and then sometimes dont' brush my teeth again. Such careless ribaldry!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. Nikki - - our closest Ikea is three hours away - FABULOUS store..... good thing it's NOT closer....

[nikki-uk]

confession: I brush my teeth, then often eat snacks in bed (sunflower seeds, tortilla chips, whatever) and then sometimes dont' brush my teeth again. Such careless ribaldry!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I raise your ribaldry!!

Sometimes (if it's really late) AND I've had a few drinks ..I completely FORGET to brush my teeth!!!!!!!!!!! , then fall asleep WITH my make-up on .....slovenly I say....

p.s. Nikki - - our closest Ikea is three hours away - FABULOUS store..... good thing it's NOT closer....

Oh gawd!! Mine is only 30 mins away...HELP ME !!!!........

[jerseyangel]

confession: I brush my teeth, then often eat snacks in bed (sunflower seeds, tortilla chips, whatever) and then sometimes dont' brush my teeth again. Such careless ribaldry!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sometimes do the same thing

At least we're all honest

[elye]

Oh gawd!! Mine is only 30 mins away...HELP ME !!!!........

I'm in the most precarious situation of all....Ikea is ten minutes away....

[Mtndog]

Well, since you've got a head cold, it might not be so bad . . . other than the sheer labor involved! Of course, he doen't really wear much, does he? Skimpy shorts and a tank top. Perhaps a towel to dab at his damp brow. Might get away with just one load . . . unless he brought his dirty laundry with him to Richard's house.

That's true- jst don't make me wash his hair-EWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

Amanda- Stay home and get some rest- wow-9 days!!!!!!!!!! :wub: :wub:

Sarah- Glad you are feeling a bit better- I know like ten people with colds/flu

The commercials for Meerkat manor ALWAYS cracked me with the( watch these- they will make you giggle!): Open Original Shared Link song and

and Open Original Shared Link

I always meant to watch it- looked like a meerkat soap opera! I'll have to check out Dirty, Sexy money!

Emily- EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jestgar- Must find you much more FUN self-destructive behavior to indulge in. Food porn? Yeti porn?

[DingoGirl]

I raise your ribaldry!!

Sometimes (if it's really late) AND I've had a few drinks ..I completely FORGET to brush my teeth!!!!!!!!!!! , then fall asleep WITH my make-up on .....slovenly I say....

Why you slattern, slovenly, ill-kempt wench!!!!!! :lol: Do ya think this is why we can't keep off the five pounds we keep losing??

BTW LOVE your Annie meerkat av...I will have to capture a photo of Annie's "meditating meerkat" pose - she sits ramrod straight on teh couch, eyes narrowed to slits, and stares fixedly for several minutes - - VERY cute.....

Before celiac dx my NIGHLY snack was pretzels. Bags and bags of pretzels.

[jerseyangel]

I'm in the most precarious situation of all....Ikea is ten minutes away....

Ooh--that's dangerous

The nearest one to me is in PA--but soon, I'll be much closer......but 10 minutes......I'd be there far too often.

[jerseyangel]

Why you slattern, slovenly, ill-kempt wench!!!!!! :lol:

Gawd

Bev--You must watch Dirty Sexy Money

[jerseyangel]

Oh--and I KEEP forgetting.......

I will gladly do RS's laundry--or anyone elses, for that matter. I love to do laundry Something about those nice clean piles of neatly folded clothes.

[Mtndog]

Why you slattern, slovenly, ill-kempt wench!!!!!! :lol: Do ya think this is why we can't keep off the five pounds we keep losing??

Before celiac dx my NIGHLY snack was pretzels. Bags and bags of pretzels.

Ahhhh...first it was teeth, now makeup, and GASP- don't tell me you skip the 100 strokes of hair brushing too? And the cold cream? Dear God- you ill kempt wenches make me want to let patti do my laundry!

I think we all need to have Patti teach us laundry, etiquette and manners (even if she's into Dirty, Sexy monkeys??????????????)

[blueeyedmanda]

I just started to bop along to my computers radio with the clash....I have gotten a few strange looks.

[jerseyangel]

(even if she's into Dirty, Sexy monkeys??????????????)

Who said anything about monkeys???????

[DingoGirl]

I think we all need to have Patti teach us laundry, etiquette and manners (even if she's into Dirty, Sexy monkeys??????????????)

Monkeys

Patti can do my laundry ANY TIME. No me gusta, doing laundry. In fact, I hate household chores of any kind these days. what is wrong with me??????????

Slattern indeed.

I just started to bop along to my computers radio with the clash....I have gotten a few strange looks.

Well, as long as you are not farting along with it, should be okay.

I have the Clash on my Ipod, in the treadmill/walking playlist. OVERPOWERED BY FUNK!!!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

Ooh--that's dangerous

The nearest one to me is in PA--but soon, I'll be much closer......but 10 minutes......I'd be there far too often.

Patti-we will have to go there one day and meet. I go there often.

[blueeyedmanda]

ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME

WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you has screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you're not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you

'cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other -- That is, until I met your

brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But

the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty And

so is your h ead.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;

But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ......

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.