The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

IYou know who I haven't seen in the Vortex lately, Daughter of the Light. She was very creative in our parade. Hope she stops in soon.

I cannot remember exactly WHAT I said to have her skitter away...Could be any number of things...What I CAN say for certain is that it was nothing to do with Golden River-ing...

You're right, Amanda, we want new recruits...and we now have Colleen and Donna2 on board. Get ready to stop me, people!

Ah, it happened in

Guatemala. Have you ever ridden on a rural bus...it involved a very drunk local who sat next to me, oh, and the really do carry live chickens on those buses.

Donna! That's when you needed the SHIFT button!

No, no not the EM makeup!!! I vote for the neighbors or goats!

Okay, so the neighboUrs it is. We have to formulate a plan...Julie, you'll need to be our point man, and your first task is to befriend them, get them comfortable enough to invite you in. We can work on the next stages of the takedown when this is accomplished...

It's really gross....something totally offensive, but as long as everyone was not offended.

Here's a hint, it is a very sick, yellow, fetish....

OMG...a sick, yellow fetish...

Big Bird?

Some people are really into enormous, mascot-like costumes.....

I'm not entirely certain everyone understands the true nature of teabagging.

Hmmmmmm .. . .for one, tea isn't made from one quick dip. Secondly, . .. ..uhhhhh . .... . . (HubbaHubba?)

:lol:

But on to the hovering.

As far as I know, hovering is for Harrier Jets, helicopters and women.

EWWWWWWWW!! Ptaum! Your buttocks comes in contact with those vile, public, crusty, hair-covered seats? Gross me out the door!!....

Emily and I are always posting at the same time every morning, she is my morning silly!

We report to each other every day but weekends

Right Em?

Righto, Amanda. I often think of you in the early morning, wondering if you've arrived at work as I begin posting... :)

[dlp252]

Donna! That's when you needed the SHIFT button!

Indeed!!! I did not know of such a button back then, but I instinctively tried REBOOT a few times.

[tom]

EWWWWWWWW!! Ptaum! Your buttocks comes in contact with those vile, public, crusty, hair-covered seats? Gross me out the door!!....

I suppose it's the strength gained from all that hovering that accounts for the magnitude of the jumping to a conclusion here.

Gah!!!!!!! EWWWWWWWWW!!

I didn't think I implied AT ALL that any sitting was goin' on.

If it can't be done while standing, it's gonna hafta wait.

[Darn210]

Hi Susie . . . you've got some catchin' up to do. Hope you and Annie had a great weekend. Also hope you had some wee little fairies come whilst you were gone and do all your house cleaning so everything is sparkly clean for your return. Dang, I need me some of those.

[tom]

Hey! Dingy's back!!

Hope the trip was mahhhh-veh-luss!

[elye]

I suppose it's the strength gained from all that hovering that accounts for the magnitude of the jumping to a conclusion here.

Gah!!!!!!! EWWWWWWWWW!!

I didn't think I implied AT ALL that any sitting was goin' on.

If it can't be done while standing, it's gonna hafta wait.

Ahhh....so you just never do...THAT...anywhere but at home, or on another familiar toilet. I wish I could organize my life in such a way...do you have it scheduled in each day at the most convenient time? Mygawd, I could never do that..."Can't do it then, I'm working...not then, doing errands"...

How on earth do you know when you're gonna have to go? See, the art of hovering makes all of that guesswork and anxiety a non-issue...

Techie question: Suddenly, when I'm composing a post, the font is quite small, I cannot put anything in italics, bold or underline, the emoticons are showing as text, and I cannot change the font size....it goes all weird. I tried hitting the "standard" button, but no go. WHAT"S UP?!

[elye]

Hey, Susie!! Welcome back!

[tom]

Techie question: Suddenly, when I'm composing a post, the font is quite small, I cannot put anything in italics, bold or underline, the emoticons are showing as text, and I cannot change the font size....it goes all weird. I tried hitting the "standard" button, but no go. WHAT"S UP?!

No italics, bold etc when using [FAST REPLY] .. .. .isn't that what it's called?

Hit wrong reply button maybe?

[Mtndog]

I meant to weigh in on this earlier.

I'm not entirely certain everyone understands the true nature of teabagging.

Hmmmmmm .. . .for one, tea isn't made from one quick dip. Secondly, . .. ..uhhhhh . .... . . (HubbaHubba?)

Oh Lord- that's right!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :ph34r: I didn't know what it was and it was explained to me in the context of a football game- clearly a very MINOR variation on the true meaning of tea (gag) bagging.

OMG...a sick, yellow fetish...

Big Bird?

Some people are really into enormous, mascot-like costumes.....

Ewwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EWWWWWWWW!! Ptaum! Your buttocks comes in contact with those vile, public, crusty, hair-covered seats? Gross me out the door!!....

There is so very much wrong about this sentence- poor Ptaum- he got buttocks, vile, PUBIC, crusty AND hair-covered in the same sentence. Tom- You must head for the sterilization shower IMMEDIATELY. I fear Emily's sentence alone has soiled you!!!!!!

PS HUBBA HUBBA? :lol:

[blueeyedmanda]

Em-I arrive at work everyday by 8. I can never be late since John's boss is strict so he needs to be downstairs by 8.

Sometimes I see you typing as I am reading too! How's the shared brain coming?

[elye]

Sometimes I see you typing as I am reading too! How's the shared brain coming?

I think we're due for a tune-up. I'll take it in to my brain guy tomorrow...

[Green12]

Hi Susie Q, welcome back

How did you and Annie do on your weekend getaway?

[jerseyangel]

Hi Susie

Hope you had a nice relaxing weekend--welcome back!!!!!

[DingoGirl]

oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd Sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I leave for three days, it's now Sillies Gone Wild......kidnappings, cross-thread contaminations, ransom demands, a concussion (mygawd Em I'm glad Sophie's okay), EVIL EVIL EVIL NEIGHBORS (Julie - - oh you SO ARE goign to invite that dog into your house for day care - - yes yes yes YES YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), Amanda getting a good night's sleep, Patti said "busted," all kinds of bathroom squats and pee-ins, weird things happening w/ Big Bird, new sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nekkid pillow fights in the makeup thread, a Donnapalooza, good gawd, what else????????? Tom's absent tea leaves foretelling his return of silly, Monty Python quotes - always the funniest - mygawd, I've forgotten everything else......

Attention Sillyville members. We have your Richard. He says we are all beautiful. We will only release him if you place one meeelion dollars in unmarked twenties in a duffle bag and ship it to Everyday Minerals so we can all buy more makeup. Then you will have your Richard back and we will all have more makeup and be even more beautiful. It's a win win.

If you do not comply with our demands, we will all perform makeovers on said Richard until he looks like Amy Winehouse after a one week bender. You have been warned.

Don't hate us because we are beautiful!

Signed, the Everyday Minerals Cult

*snooooooooooort* this is TOO funny - who is this Colleen and Bev, IS she your long-lost sister??????????

I am supposed to be cleaning my kitchen right now, but this is much more fun.)

and obviously she has figured out the danger of this thread

DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!!!!..........(poor Richard)....you can actually MAKE someone look like Amy Winehouse with JUST make-up????????.............without the aide of hard drinking, illegal drug taking, bulimic sessions???????????

BLOODY HECK!!!!!!!!!!

*snort*

1. Do humans have anal glands?

2. Would it generally be considered a positive experience if one is teabagged by a friend? How about a stranger?

3. In the space provided, draw a flowchart depicting the process of yeti inseam measurement.

They get progressively more challenging....

OMG

Thought it was time to answer the all important questions

1.Yes, humans do have anal glands....some are just one big anal gland

2.I would consider it an honor to be teabagged by anyone.....just love attention of any kind

3.The yeti has been moving around far too much for me to get accurate inseam measurements and feel it is better for all to wait on the flowchart.

I think she can stay

BTW, have any of you ever built any fire while a non-incapacitated (can that just be capacitated?) male was anywhere nearby?

I'd feel like a total wuss watching the woman build the fire.

(laughing face) this is funny, as *I* was the fyre builder all weekend.....Princess Jenn sat transfixed - asked, "what's kindling?" as I muttered about the absence of same. took me an hour to get it lit the first night until kindling was procured the next day. I must say, I am a damn good fire builder, suppose I"ve been building them since about age 12, thought every girl knew how to build one, but 'tis not true. So, the only reason I needed a man for the fyres was to lug all the logs up from the shed down below. (winky face)

Julie - Regis and Kelly Mocking the Yeti. ha ha - - 'tis another new hit by the Bad Ass Snow Poodles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Susie . . . you've got some catchin' up to do. Hope you and Annie had a great weekend. Also hope you had some wee little fairies come whilst you were gone and do all your house cleaning so everything is sparkly clean for your return. Dang, I need me some of those.

(exceeding my limit of 20 emoticons)

sadly, no wee faeries here.....house still in slight squalor.......

There is so very much wrong about this sentence- poor Ptaum- he got buttocks, vile, PUBIC, crusty AND hair-covered in the same sentence. Tom- You must head for the sterilization shower IMMEDIATELY. I fear Emily's sentence alone has soiled you!!!!!!

BEAVERLY!!!!!!!!!!! it did NOT say pubic, it said PUBLIC you debauched girl!!!!!!!! ha ha ha a

SILLIES - - no time to write about what a fabulous time we had, but I will just say, Annie came back a different dog........she is SO much happier.......she got lots of attention and we had SOOOOOOOOOOO much fun, the entire weekend........

(insert smiley faces all around)

Lunch in Big Sur two of the three days, shopping w/ girlfriends, good wine and food, warm cozy fires and lots of laughs, romps on the beach, it was truly magic. Annie loves Jenn so much that she slept in her room the first night we were there.

MYGAWD SILLIES I MUST GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

Hi Susie!

We missed you!!!

[DingoGirl]

OMG sillies, guess what else.

I have a case of the......shy bowels. Er, sumfin like dat. Have not had a poop since......last Thursday. Today is Tuesday.

Good gawd.

[Darn210]

OMG sillies, guess what else.

I have a case of the......shy bowels. Er, sumfin like dat. Have not had a poop since......last Thursday. Today is Tuesday.

Good gawd.

Hmmmm, guess we can't be writen' smack about Annie, now, can we? (And by "we", I mean YOU!!)

[tom]

Ahhh....so you just never do...THAT...anywhere but at home, or on another familiar toilet.

Please don't make me type that string of descriptive <shudder> commode-disqualifiers .. . ...

I WON'T .. . and you can't make me!!

Decent & clean public bathrooms DO exist, n'est pas? (Ack, my attempt at a French colloquialism is probably tr

[tom]

(laughing face) this is funny, as *I* was the fyre builder all weekend......

. . ... .. I must say, I am a damn good fire builder

Not disputing ANY of this - certainly anyone w/ a Jeep, a tent and a Squats w/ Wolves (?) knik-kname would likely be master firestarter.

BUT!!!!!!! (there's always a but) . .. .who built the fIre on your last camping trip????

SILLIES - - no time to write about what a fabulous time we had, but I will just say, Annie came back a different dog........she is SO much happier.......she got lots of attention and we had SOOOOOOOOOOO much fun, the entire weekend........

(insert smiley faces all around)

( :) :) :) :) :) :) ) "done"

I bet it was fanTABulous!!! The weather here Saturday was nothing short of glorious, and I'll guess it was there too.

P.S. I'm surprised I haven't made it down to Big Sur yet.

Had a plan one weekend in Sept or Oct, but roomie got sick and we had to skip it.

[CarlaB]

Decent & clean public bathrooms DO exist, n'est pas? (Ack, my attempt at a French colloquialism is probably tr

[dlp252]

OMGosh...there's a Starbucks restroom near me that would make anyone shudder! Egads it was bad.

[Green12]

I have a case of the......shy bowels. Er, sumfin like dat. Have not had a poop since......last Thursday. Today is Tuesday.

Not the shy bowels

Of these I am an expert

Try freshly squeezed lemon juice in hot water and drink it down, watermelon, magnesium citrate, or chocolate, all bring the bowels right out of their shells

So glad to hear you and Annie had such a good time

Decent & clean public bathrooms DO exist, n'est pas?

Negatory, for a germ-a-phobe

Looks afterall can be deceiving, the microscopic criters are running amuck.

Oracle Peter, I have a question. (Instead of ask Jeeves, it's ask Peter )

How does one convert farenhight into celsius??

[elye]

I have a case of the......shy bowels. Er, sumfin like dat. Have not had a poop since......last Thursday. Today is Tuesday.

Didn't notice your post count, Susie...if you are close to a big turnover, just start posting a whole bunch of "That's interesting"s in many scattered threads. That should jump start'er....

Please don't make me type that string of descriptive <shudder> commode-disqualifiers .. . ...

Hey! We need a little shuddering-face emoticon, I would argue as much as we need the nauseated guy. Teeth slightly bared, eyes squeezed shut, little movement lines on either side of his circular head...

Decent & clean public bathrooms DO exist, n'est pas?

Well, DH has often stated that they do not exist in the man's world, and he's travelled throughout North and South America, and Europe. I've told him that there have been many decent women's bathrooms in my life experience. Perhaps he should just start going in the women's....

P.S. I'm surprised I haven't made it down to Big Sur yet.

Had a plan one weekend in Sept or Oct, but roomie got sick and we had to skip it.

What/Where is Big Sur? I wanna go!

[elye]

Oracle Peter, I have a question. (Instead of ask Jeeves, it's ask Peter )

How does one convert farenhight into celsius??

I'll take this one, O.P. .....

I'll have to start the other way around, and reverse it...

The celcius reading is doubled, and 32 is added to get the fahrenheit reading.

I'll let you work it backwards...

[tom]

How does one convert farenhight into celsius??

I'll take this one Pedro.

C=5/9(F-32)

Or just google to find a site that'll do it for you.

The other way it's F=9/5C + 32

<tom actually never remembers the equations so just derives them again as needed> (bet THAT sounds scary to all but Janet!! And our Queen!!)