The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

Kids are done with school. Just got off the bus less than an hour ago. My daughter was crying because she's going to miss her teachers. . . I was crying, too, but for a different reason . . .

Janet! Your kids are done school? At the end of May? Mygawd....when does their school year start, early August er sumfin'? You want your kids in our schools up here....they attend until the end of June.. . .

I think we have a business for Peter to start up, if not simply for the potential name. King Peter, you must become involved in the manufacturing of dog treats made from bulls' genitalia, creating new, innovative shapes (fire hydrants, bones, cats) and flavours. Your product will be called, of course, PETER'S PIZZLES.

>Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself:

>Is this a jellyfish bad day?

OMG....A swollen up bum for two days... .. .

Janet! School's out for summer!!! Any special plans to keep them busy??

Janet!! Hell, you'd best not get them involved in anything that involves horses, as you'll get them killed....

[elye]

The Ripper's latest obsession is with the following website, which he checks constantly thoughout his time at home.. . .he now will pass me in the hallway or in the backyard and say, "12,043 bicycles mass produced in the last twenty minutes" or "Mom! In the last eight minutes, twenty-nine more people worldwide have been diagnosed with type one diabetes!"

He has asked me to share the World Clock experience with Sillyville.. ..he thinks it is the most fascinating thing he's ever seen... ..

Open Original Shared Link

[jerseyangel]

..he thinks it is the most fascinating thing he's ever seen... ..

Open Original Shared Link

Gotta agree with The Ripper This is very cool!

[Green12]

Gotta agree with The Ripper This is very cool!

Also agreed, the World Clock thing is really neat!

[DingoGirl]

I think we have a business for Peter to start up, if not simply for the potential name. King Peter, you must become involved in the manufacturing of dog treats made from bulls' genitalia, creating new, innovative shapes (fire hydrants, bones, cats) and flavours. Your product will be called, of course, PETER'S PIZZLES.

:lol: OMG yes......Peter's Pizzles, multi shapes, flavoUrs, coloUrs........'tis perfect!

OMG....A swollen up bum for two days... .. .

Um, ahem, Emily please remember to use the correct term - - it's SWOLT UP........ :lol:

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OH MY GAAAAAAAAAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stepford just did one of her pop-ins, and things could not have been WORSE over here.

Two days of dishes piled up on counter top, bags of produce (just went to pharm stand), there was a BRA on the kitchen floor - that's right, pholks - which I had JUST removed and flung down without knowing where it went (this happens a lot).........jewelry makings all over the coffee table, nugget wrappers on same table, and a couple on the floor; a bowl Annie had licked from last night - on floor. Best of all - and she even made a query about it - - the CROCK POT was on living room floor, near hallway, as I had just put it there to be walked back to hall closet, where it is stored (no room in tiny kitchen)............I laughed, doesn't EVERYone have a crockpot on their living room floor???????? :mortifiedface:

OMG..........house could not have been messier.......(well - not true entirely - it COULD have been worse)......carpets need to be shampooed.......I look awful (at least she did ask if I were feeling well, this headache is truly murderous)........

I can't take it any more........I am goign to ask that she call in advance, make an appointment and have a permit issued from the city before she visits.......

Em - The Ripper's website - - yes, 'tis fascinating.......and staggering......

Okay - now onto frantic cleaning of everything - Kissey will be here tonight - his two-day absence is what caused the squalor..............

[DingoGirl]

oops and Leigh-suh, I forgot to say how sorry I am that you didn't get that job. Sucks, don't it? I didn't even get an interview for that job for which I sent my resume.........

[DingoGirl]

ummm........Jack's new website is called - poodwaddle.com.......anyone see that? what in hell....is it

poo dwaddle

or

pood waddle

or

poo d waddle

or

pee diddy

and, this is interesting

Open Original Shared Link

[jerseyangel]

PETER'S PIZZLES.

Yes! And for the vegetarian dog, Faux Shizzles

Stepford just did one of her pop-ins, and things could not have been WORSE over here.

Gawd Soozie--you poor thing! Don't give Stepford a thought--that's what she gets for popping in. It's your house, after all

Bra on the kitchen floor Classic!

[nikki-uk]

OMGAAAAAAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Slow down!! Too many posts - NO FAIR!!!

<My own fault - been a lazy gutter-wig slug....didn't EVEN get up 'til 10.30am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>

The Band of Irritants .....

<I have mine - WHO are yours???....did I miss the pm?? >

Mygawd!! - I'm too late for The Rippers conundrum...but damn...I was gonna vote for 'A' ('cos he was a bit wild!! )

saw this post again, and for some reason I read this, whilst looking at Nik's av, and saw piggle.

PIGGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All girls need a piggle now & then.......don't they??

So....I scrapped the original plan, froze the veggies and am going with baked chops with roasted potatoes.

Good call Pat

Nope, I'm not cute. But I got great knees......

You have??

I have fat knees,...(I think it's because I'm English somehow )....

..but poor Josie's knees

I had a dog who knee used to dislocate as well

May the selling of Tatt commence (double 'T' please)

And more recently there are times I've wondered if newbies are being helped or harmed by seeing some of these STRONGLY presented, and in my mind only marginally correct, at best, in only the most narrowly defined circumstance.

Yet these opinions are spewed as being applicable to ALL situations.

Particularly bothersome in some cases where the opinion is formed over just a few weeks. <shakes head>

Mmmmm (strokes chin)

I think I agree here

Avoid the round ones

Had a lovely conversation today with two other women in other labs about how socially inept we all are and how much we enjoy being that way.

Thanks for putting up with my near incapacitation in communication

WHAAAAAAAAAT??????????

Won't hear of it!!!!!!

Okay, okay.... . .. I'm going to divulge my Singular Irritant through some precise, revealing hints. This member is:

-North American

- an adult

- has trouble with gluten

Ya got it?! Okay, anyone else have trouble with that individual?

OMG!!!....those twangy North Americans!!!!!!

Drive me insane they do!!!!

Guess that rules out . . . Carla . . .

*snort*

HI ALEX!!!!!!!

JULIE!!!!! Thanks for the belated birthday wishes

[DingoGirl]

Yes! And for the vegetarian dog, Faux Shizzles

oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd

now that goes down in the annals of the silly thread as one of the PHUNNIEST things ever said......and, we've just been PATTI'd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excellent work, my friend..........faux shizzle........can't believe I didn't think of that........

and NICOLA!!!!!! fellow gutter-wigged piggled sloth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nik's whole posts are funny......just so, just so sassily British, aren't they?????? She gets to be phunnier because she's a Brit....

[jerseyangel]

Nik's whole posts are funny......just so, just so sassily British, aren't they?????? She gets to be phunnier because she's a Brit....

Oh yeah--Nic is one phunny Brit! Love those Nic-isms

[Green12]

ummm........Jack's new website is called - poodwaddle.com.......anyone see that? what in hell....is it

poo dwaddle or pood waddle or poo d waddle or pee diddy

and, this is interesting

Open Original Shared Link

OMG how crazy is that story!

Hi Nikki, YES love all of your Nikki/Brit-icisms

Patti, vegetarian fare faux shizzles!!!

Everything is just phunnie today.........

[nikki-uk]

Open Original Shared Link

WHAAAT???

IE canNOT display this page

No Poo Dwiddles for Nicola

Stepford just did one of her pop-ins, and things could not have been WORSE over here.

Two days of dishes piled up on counter top, bags of produce (just went to pharm stand), there was a BRA on the kitchen floor - that's right, pholks - which I had JUST removed and flung down without knowing where it went (this happens a lot).........jewelry makings all over the coffee table, nugget wrappers on same table, and a couple on the floor; a bowl Annie had licked from last night - on floor. Best of all - and she even made a query about it - - the CROCK POT was on living room floor, near hallway, as I had just put it there to be walked back to hall closet, where it is stored (no room in tiny kitchen)............I laughed, doesn't EVERYone have a crockpot on their living room floor???????? :mortifiedface:

OMG..........house could not have been messier.......(well - not true entirely - it COULD have been worse)......carpets need to be shampooed.......I look awful (at least she did ask if I were feeling well, this headache is truly murderous)........

I can't take it any more........I am goign to ask that she call in advance, make an appointment and have a permit issued from the city before she visits.......

What about one of them stickers on your front door

NO JUNK MAIL STEPFORDS

...with perhaps a silhouette pic of a Stepford in the background with a cross through her

You my dear friend have a house that is MIRROR bloody image to mine!!!!!!!

However I had me smalls ( ...yesterdays......no *I* didn't rip 'em off when I got in from shopping!!) on the kitchen floor (along with the rest of the clothes) waiting (patiently) to go in the machine when The Electricity man come to read the metRe

GADS, my house is just too small for 5 .......I need one of them American thingys.....whassit called??

'A Utility Room'

Yes...want one as me kitchen is tres petite

Nik's whole posts are funny......just so, just so sassily British, aren't they?????? She gets to be phunnier because she's a Brit....

...aw

Guys, it's a bit of a cheat really 'cos I don't have to try too hard

...however Pat (ti) surely takes the biscuit cookie with

'FAUX SHIZZLES'

GAHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazy dweedle piggle psillies!!!

[Green12]

One thing not phunnie however, did you all see Harvey Korman died??

I absolutely LOVED him and Tim Conway together, and Carol B.....OMG so many laughing so hard you almost pee your pants moments with him.

[jerseyangel]

...aw

Guys, it's a bit of a cheat really 'cos I don't have to try too hard

That's the beauty of it

"me smalls" love it!

[jerseyangel]

One thing not phunnie however, did you all see Harvey Korman died??

I absolutely LOVED him and Tim Conway together, and Carol B.....OMG so many laughing so hard you almost pee your pants moments with him.

I know--he was such a phunny man

I just loved him on Carol Burnett--you're right, he and Tim Conway were hilarious!

Anybody remember the dry cleaner skit where Tim Conway came around on the clothing conveyor on a hanger? I don't think I ever laughed so hard....Harvey Korman was the perfect foil for him. It must have been a riot making that show.

[elye]

Yes, Harvey Korman was one funny man. I remember rocking with laughter at those famous Carol Burnett skits....What a loss!

Nikki? Your "smalls?" Gad, think they'd be my "bigs", I'm afear'd......

FAUX SHIZZLES! A brilliant addition to our marketing plan...!!

MYGAWD! In the last thirteen minutes. .. .the world's population has increased by11,432.....

[Darn210]

Too many posts to quote . . . y'all are just too phunnee.

Janet! Your kids are done school? At the end of May? Mygawd....when does their school year start, early August er sumfin'? You want your kids in our schools up here....they attend until the end of June.. . .

They start back August 12th . . . not that I'm counting the days or anything . . .

Janet!! Hell, you'd best not get them involved in anything that involves horses, as you'll get them killed....

Don't I know it . . . . . . so I guess I'll just settle for the juggling chainsaw summer camp instead.

He has asked me to share the World Clock experience with Sillyville.. ..he thinks it is the most fascinating thing he's ever seen... ..

Open Original Shared Link

I could not get in . . . I think maybe there has been an extraordinary amount of traffic lately. Perhaps it was all full up . . . . . . I'll try again later.

I think we have a business for Peter to start up, if not simply for the potential name. King Peter, you must become involved in the manufacturing of dog treats made from bulls' genitalia, creating new, innovative shapes (fire hydrants, bones, cats) and flavours. Your product will be called, of course, PETER'S PIZZLES.

......and, we've just been PATTI'd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excellent work, my friend..........faux shizzle........can't believe I didn't think of that........

Patti'd indeed . . .

Susie and Nikki!!!! You are invited to drop by my house ANYtime. I always tell my guests that the only thing I will guarentee is that they will have clean sheets on the bed . . . and if they've been here before, they may have to wait while I throw them in the washer first.

[jerseyangel]

Where's Phataughm today? We Sillies were very busy and he's gonna have a ton of posts to catch up on! And Sarah... Jess?

I'm all alone here....where is everybody?

I'm talking to meself....

[elye]

Okay, Patti, I'm here! Sorry to leave you like that... ..had to rush my kids out fer an ice cream - - I just do not know who they think they are, pulling me away from Sillyville like they do. Do they think they're important, er sumfin'?!

Yes, where is Ptaoughmhmnas the Ptancques Ehnghihn?

Jess!!!! How are our kitties?

[Jestgar]

Hi all. kitties are good. Max is getting better. Lefty is starting to clue in that I don't want him in my face (he's not changing his actions, mind you, he just knows he has to be quicker to jump on me )

Went to a workshop that served lunch. I brought my own, but I was hoping to supplement with some chips or something. Nope. Every possible flavor of SunChips, and nothing else extra. What is the world coming to? All wheat for lunch???

[jerseyangel]

Okay, Patti, I'm here! Sorry to leave you like that... ..had to rush my kids out fer an ice cream - - I just do not know who they think they are, pulling me away from Sillyville like they do. Do they think they're important, er sumfin'?!

Well ok, I'll let it slide this time! Hope you guys had a nice time

What is the world coming to? All wheat for lunch???

Heinous! I used to love Sun Chips.....(wistfully remembering....)

[blueeyedmanda]

Hi Sillies...John is going to Orlando too which is nice. I have not plane traveled in over 10 yrs...last time was not a good experience so I am deathly dreading flying.

So we are going from the 29th-1st of July...which is short but the only thing I pay for is his plane ticket....my job pays the rest.

So now we are off to the casino, hope we win!!!

[psawyer]

Hi Sillies...John is going to Orlando too which is nice. I have not plane traveled in over 10 yrs...last time was not a good experience so I am deathly dreading flying.

So we are going from the 29th-1st of July...which is short but the only thing I pay for is his plane ticket....my job pays the rest.

So now we are off to the casino, hope we win!!!

Wonderful news for both of you. I used to travel a lot because of work. I haven't been on a plane since 2005. That was for a business trip to California (Long Beach). I was never worried about the flight itself--the most dangerous part of the trip is the drive to the airport. But with all the b*lls**t about security the experience is at best unpleasant. Once you get past that and get on the plane, everything will be fine.

I said I traveled a lot. Too much. How do you know when you are spending too much time on airplanes? I goes something like this, as happened to me in, I think, 1993.

You are boarding an Air Canada flight from Los Angeles to Toronto. As you step from the jetway into the aircraft, the in-charge flight attendant says, "Good evening, Mr. Sawyer." He does this BEFORE you show him your boarding pass. You know that his name is Bob, without having to look at his name tag.

The miles pile up quickly when you are in a matrix-managed job with one boss in Montreal and another in San Diego. The pressure piles up too. I got out of that job in 1995, about the time my celiac disease was triggered.

Amanda, make this a special trip for you and John. Don't worry about the flights. Just have a darn good time.

[tom]

Argh I didn't start looking until sitting down for the nba game & mostly just read on comm'ls and it all seems SO too late now.

I've been pretty bummed out about yesterday's anniv of my going soy-free & how the miraculous progress didn't stick.

Too many posts to quote . . . y'all are just too phunnee.

Oy .. ...I should've gone this route.

Bah on no Silladelphia for ya Peter.

Wow Alex - 4yrs cohabitating w/out a fight?

One of the many things he did was "meow" at me.....which refers to another word for "kitty cat"...starts with a P.

Pheline is all that comes to mind here.

Oh Julie .. . . cocoa allergy?? We should have a memorial service.

I had none for at least 18 mos (for me it's the sugar), but then started cheating occasionally.

I should go back to none.

Good Morning, Posters Whom I Tolerate!

Hilarious!

.. ..he would be struggling to fit it all into iambic pentametre...

So, Peter, I'm sure I will be in Toronto later this summer. I'm coming to your shop to check out yer pizzles...

OrrrrrrrrrrrLANDO!!!!!! Sounds fun Amanda

>Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself:

>Is this a jellyfish bad day?

At least he knew it would end.