The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Ridgewalker]

:lol:

:lol: :lol:

OMG Jess, THAT little double entendre didn't occur to me until YOU laughed!

[jerseyangel]

I've heard that the long pizzles take quite a while to eat

This is where an individual container of Faux Shizzles might just come in handy

[blueeyedmanda]

So what is the deal with the weather....first it is almost 100 degrees now today it is barely 70....and it is soooo windy....my skirt almost did a Marilyn Monroe quite a few times...! It feels like 50 out too, John who is always Hot complained when we were at lunch that it is too cold and he had to come back into the hospital....

[jerseyangel]

So what is the deal with the weather....first it is almost 100 degrees now today it is barely 70....and it is soooo windy....my skirt almost did a Marilyn Monroe quite a few times...! It feels like 50 out too, John who is always Hot complained when we were at lunch that it is too cold and he had to come back into the hospital....

I love it like this! I got so much done this morning

[Green12]

Opos--phorgot to mention....I talked to Jhudy this morning (we were on the horn for an hour and a half! )--she is having computer problems which is why she hasn't been around lately.

Patti, how nice you got to visit with Judy I was wondering where she has been.

Hope she gets her computer problems fixed.

Glad you guys got a little break with the heat We are heading into the high 90s for a spell starting tomorrow

[jerseyangel]

Patti, how nice you got to visit with Judy I was wondering where she has been.

Hope she gets her computer problems fixed.

Glad you guys got a little break with the heat We are heading into the high 90s for a spell starting tomorrow

Thanks, Julie

Ugh--now you're getting a heat wave...I know it's summer, but it seems like it just gets hotter every year. (sigh)--stay cool the next few days

[jerseyangel]

Sarah!

I just read a post of yours in another thread--and you said "phunny"!

[Mtndog]

Was it something I quacked????????????????

Where are all you loon-atics?

[blueeyedmanda]

bev- love the new avatar!

[tom]

see Avatar

<----------------------

Please note appearance of Emily's Devil arse duck bruise

<---------------------- here's another devil duck for ya!!

:wickedsmilehornedface:

[Mtndog]

<---------------------- here's another devil duck for ya!!

:wickedsmilehornedface:

Do you own him??????????? I am MADLY in love with these devil ducks. Must buy one for each of you toot sweet!

Make your pick:Open Original Shared Link

Emily- Perhaps your bruise occurred as a result of the Open Original Shared Link??????

[Mtndog]

Seems uncle Ray has been possessed as his joke of the day (Ray of the Day?) is quite devilish

Turpentive versus Holy Water

A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.

The little boy replied, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine.'

The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.'

The little boy replied, 'You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's arse and he'll pass a Harley Davidson!'

[elye]

But are you taking the Jug O' Urine wif you????

That's our Em--off to the the gallery, jug in tow....what a woman!

Oh please, no, not the big orange jug o' pee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Em, say you didn't take it with you!

OMG........

Sometimes I suspect that I subconsciously orchestrate these situations so that I'll have unbelievable, ridiculous stories to relay to you guys.....

So, I COULD have dumped the pee that I'd begun to collect and start again tomorrow....but NOOOOOOOOO. I figure, "I've already started, tomorrow I may be at work for an extra` while, today's been easy so far, I'm gonna continue"..... Even though I'm spending the afternoon with my son's school at the NATIONAL GALLERY.....

Might this be a place where you do NOT want to be carrying around a receptacle of your urine, albeit small? Yes, I should think so.

So, I did NOT bring along the big orange jug (which, incidentally, I fill right to the top, always, and often start another one - - that's how much water I consume -- gad), but a small empty margarine container in case I had to go.

I was asked by security on the way in what it was for (had to empty my big purse for their perusal). The woman just stared at me when I told her it was to collect my urine. Surprisingly, she didn't radio for security, didn't reach for the phone....so we're good.

Of course, by 2:30, I have to go rather badly. I went in the container, closed it very tightly, wrapped it with about five tight elastic bands, and wedged it in my bag so it wouldn't move.

Guess what? They inspect big bags when you leave (I guess you could be stuffing little paintings and sculptures in them).

It was a man this time. I didn't even give him the chance to ask me what was in the container - - I came right out and said, "Some of my urine is in here". Now, I think the most prudent, and therefore proficient, of security workers would have asked me to open it.

But he didn't.

So, that was my afternoon. You can imagine what The Ripper's classmates think of me.......

Opos--phorgot to mention....I talked to Jhudy this morning (we were on the horn for an hour and a half! )--she is having computer problems which is why she hasn't been around lately.

Patti! Is Judy coming to the Psilly Philly Psummit?

[Jestgar]

Pfizer Announcement

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in

liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage

suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to

literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this

a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails',

'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will

market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

[jerseyangel]

I didn't even give him the chance to ask me what was in the container - - I came right out and said, "Some of my urine is in here".

This has to go down in history as one of the best Sillie moments of all time!

Judy may come--that day is also her wedding anniversary, so she's kinda playing it by ear for now. I'm really hoping she will come, though

Who else is coming?

MOUNT & DO.

Jess!

[dlp252]

It was a man this time. I didn't even give him the chance to ask me what was in the container - - I came right out and said, "Some of my urine is in here". Now, I think the most prudent, and therefore proficient, of security workers would have asked me to open it.

But he didn't.

I often don't know what's going on in here, but I always manage to drop in on a page with something like this!!! :lol:

[jerseyangel]

I often don't know what's going on in here, but I always manage to drop in on a page with something like this!!! :lol:

You simply must stop by more often, Donna!

[Jestgar]

You simply must stop by more often, Donna!

Or not. Maybe it's that much funnier if it all seems abstract and out of the blue.

Maybe we should all choose some number and only read the posts divisible by that number, say, read every seventh post. Then we could all have that surreal sort of experience normally only achievable with controlled substances or liberal phaerie drops.

[dlp252]

Patti =

Maybe we should all choose some number and only read the posts divisible by that number, say, read every seventh post. Then we could all have that surreal sort of experience normally only achievable with controlled substances or liberal phaerie drops.

Hum, good way to describe how I feel when I DO drop in!

[jerseyangel]

Maybe we should all choose some number and only read the posts divisible by that number, say, read every seventh post. Then we could all have that surreal sort of experience normally only achievable with controlled substances or liberal phaerie drops.

I wouldn't last a half a day

[elye]

Or not. Maybe it's that much funnier if it all seems abstract and out of the blue.

Maybe we should all choose some number and only read the posts divisible by that number, say, read every seventh post. Then we could all have that surreal sort of experience normally only achievable with controlled substances or liberal phaerie drops.

OMG...Yes.........to give us that hallucinogenic, out-of-control mind space, without the heroin!

[Ridgewalker]

Sarah!

I just read a post of yours in another thread--and you said "phunny"!

So, that was my afternoon. You can imagine what The Ripper's classmates think of me.......

You... are so... BRAVE! :lol:

[Darn210]

You... are so... BRAVE! :lol:

NO . . . NOT BRAVE . . . NUTS!!!! Who here actually think rubber bands are going to keep urine in a MARGERINE CONTAINER for OraclePete's Sake???!!!!??? Of course the security guard didn't open it . . . it was probably leaking and he could tell it was full of WEE!!!

Going purse shopping tomorrow??

[Green12]

You simply must stop by more often, Donna!

I've been trying to twist Donna's arm to drop in the Silly thread more

Janet said "for OraclePete's sake"

[elye]

NO . . . NOT BRAVE . . . NUTS!!!! Who here actually think rubber bands are going to keep urine in a MARGERINE CONTAINER for OraclePete's Sake???!!!!??? Of course the security guard didn't open it . . . it was probably leaking and he could tell it was full of WEE!!!

Going purse shopping tomorrow??

It was soooooo tightly elastic-wrapped, and wedged into my purse, and I was SOOOOO obsessively keeping said purse in exactly the same upright position on my shoulder, that there was no leakage. Yes, leakage would easily explain why the security guy did not open the container. But there was no visible (or feel-able) urine. So this really does beg the question: Why in HELL did he not open it, or at the very least, ask ME to??! This is a huge, tourist-filled government building, ripe fer a bombing, hostage-taking, er sumfin' huge.....

So, anyone who plans on taking down the National Gallery of Canada, or stealing some small, multi-million-dollar artifact that would fit nicely into a margarine container, simply do so and remark to the security staff that you've collected some of your urine in it....should be no problem......