The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

My newly fixed plumbing is rocking

Ah! Methinks, therefore, that you will be pregnant real soon. . . ......

OK- since my ENTIRE neighborhood went back to school/work this week and it is a flippin ghost town, PLEASE tell me that working full-time is highly overrated. I'm lonely! My "students" (online) don't come until next week.

Bevel! It's just all the more time you can spend here!

I know what ya mean..... . ....I don't begin my teaching gigs until the third week of Sept.

Ho hum. . .. . .........

But why are my busiest periods in life those where I am NOT working?

[ranger]

Don't have any time today- spent the whole day baking so I can go to a family picnic Sat. where all the food is supplied. Except for me- a freak of nature. GRRR. Could be worse. I could have been born beautiful, with all the attendant problems that go along with that.

Sir Lady Sleez (I seem to have nighted myself)

[DingoGirl]

Joooodie! You found a St. Joseph statue, brought it home, and placed it on yer property? Within a few hours?? Awesome. St. Joseph statues must be readily available... . .do they have rows of them at Walmart or Costco?

What in hell is a totals query? What's a regular query? Questions that are more involved, more detailed, versus those that simply skim the surface? Are all men jerks? Versus Do all men misunderstand everything we say, misinterpret and fail to hear all we ask unless it is an invitation to have sex?

Sumfin' like that, maybe.. .. . .....

yup, Jess's statement really did scare me last night dunno WHAT IN HELL it was about -

stress relief? I think the wine drinking starts around 4 today

Suzlet- We apparently have something in common. Did I here you say you're poor? Or that you frequently poor youself a drink? Either way..........

Lady Fartalot <slight snortle here but no big guffaws lately - boo>

Both are correct, Sleziak.

Oddly enough, since he knows I'm going back to school, and I'm only using him for free tuition, I have essentially fired him. He really has no authority over me whatsoever, I'm working entirely for my own benefit (in my opinion).

<snackle> brilliant, Geoss

Speaking of pictures, just went and had me drivers license renewed. We are now prohibited from smiling in any government issue photograph. No smile, smirk, no nuttin' where the corners of your mouth are turned up, even teenily.

WHOT? yer not allowed to smile in Canada? What is this about? that is totally crazy, man. And really funny. I would be beyond the ability to stifle spitting laughter in this situation. Could NEVER have a picture taken, would probably be carted off to the slammer for inability to comply with this stupid law.

OK- since my ENTIRE neighborhood went back to school/work this week and it is a flippin ghost town, PLEASE tell me that working full-time is highly overrated. I'm lonely! My "students" (online) don't come until next week.

Bevel - very lonely here too - come on out. I can't promise any fun.....just some good mojitos. Maybe.

Sir Lady Sleez (I seem to have nighted myself)

Sleez is the wackl-est one of all

sills - lots of activity on FB with gals from HS. lots of fun.....but they don't know about my life.....only Karenly does. Don't know how I can keep this up......but I'm very good at writing superficial psilly coments - they think I am THE FUNNIEST ONE - got all my training and practice at this very place, Sills.

but I'm gonna have to go underground soon........

very stressful.

[elye]

WHOT? yer not allowed to smile in Canada? What is this about? that is totally crazy, man. And really funny. I would be beyond the ability to stifle spitting laughter in this situation. Could NEVER have a picture taken, would probably be carted off to the slammer for inability to comply with this stupid law.

'Tis SOooOoo amusing, really. Cannot show our teeth - - must be completely expressionless, which means no smiling, but also no frowning, jeering, twitching, signs of shock, surprise, bemusement.

Um, yeah.....these things could interfere with the new Official Face Recognition Template System that has been put in place. One can wear a burqa or turban, covering the head, hair and forehead.... . ......but you'd best not be smilin' whilst you sport these things, as a smile will disguise you big time!

Open Original Shared Link

- they think I am THE FUNNIEST ONE -

Well......Soooozle, you IS. We know this. . . . . .....

[Judyin Philly]

Due to some faulty wiring dating back to the middle ages, men have had the misguided misconception that anything that comes out of a women's mouth is, in actuality, a problem that can only be fixed by the supreme and worldly knowledge and advice of the so called 'dominant' species.

There is also speculation that even as far back as the caveman days, the male species erroneously believed that they alone had all the answers, when, in actuality, it was the cavewoman who realized that the best way to get the men out of their hair was to convince them that they were best suited to run all over the countryside chasing and killing wild creatures. This left the cavewoman free to take care of everything else.

There is also the belief that the aforementioned faulty wiring created a short circuit to the auditory canal, ensuring that the male species has a permanent and irreparable distortion of the way they process any input at or near the decibel level of the female voice.

I'm sure there's documentation on that somewhere...... . . .. .

There apparently also exists a male sub-species who's wiring has deteriorated to the extent that their brain theoretically receives but somehow fails to process pertinent visual input, such as wedding pictures, wedding ring, etc. There is little hope that these individuals will be capable of reproducing any viable offspring.

this whole quote deserves to be read again.

wonderful curly lisa

The Ripper's newly braced teeth are killing him. He is a miserable kid, so thank gawd fer Advil Extra Strength Gel-caps......

Give the Ripper a hug for me...poor guy

Good Morning me psillies-

Judy- Hope that house sells soon so you can be less stressed!

Bev thanks

y up, Jess's statement really did scare me last night dunno WHAT IN HELL it was about -

stress relief? I think the wine drinking starts around 4 today

Lady Fartalot <slight snortle here but no big guffaws lately - boo>

Both are correct, Sleziak.

<snackle> brilliant, Geoss

WHOT? yer not allowed to smile in Canada? What is this about? that is totally crazy, man. And really funny. I would be beyond the ability to stifle spitting laughter in this situation. Could NEVER have a picture taken, would probably be carted off to the slammer for inability to comply with this stupid law.

Bevel - very lonely here too - come on out. I can't promise any fun.....just some good mojitos. Maybe.

Sleez is the wackl-est one of all

sills - lots of activity on FB with gals from HS. lots of fun.....but they don't know about my life.....only Karenly does. Don't know how I can keep this up......but I'm very good at writing superficial psilly coments - they think I am THE FUNNIEST ONE - got all my training and practice at this very place, Sills.

but I'm gonna have to go underground soon........

very stressful.

no don't

waiting for realator ......45 min late crap

dinner in oven will burn again.

judy

[flourgirl]

Sorry I missed the All PoWerPhul OmniScient Creator of Psilli-villi! I so enjoyed his psilliness when I was attempting to start at the beginning.

"In the beGGinning, there was RisChard. Alone in the VoId of NothinGness! He laffed breAth into the vOid and so beGat liphe in Psilli-ville. On the phirst day he creAted Oskar May-ar BoloGnA. On the SekonD daY he tikkled liphe into the ElBoW of Pseussle, who reMains in the GarDen to this day!"

Jest fer all the NewBees.....I'm qwoting meselph to answer the kwestion...."Who is Richard?". You can view the beginning of creation of psillyville in Gennesees page 1

[blueeyedmanda]

Evening Folks

Very quiet night here- I am sitting on the couch and chilling on FBook what is becoming of me? I am playing farmville and now soriority life too...tis addicting. I find myself tending to my pharm during work Also got HS friends finding me- turns out next yr is our 10 yr reunion and ppl are coming out of the shadows...some I have not spoken to since graduation night.

How is everyone else?

Are the rippers teeth a little less painphul?

[ranger]

Where is everyone? If you think I was nonphunni yesterday, I am 50 times more nonphunni today. I'm going to take a shower -maybe if I look down, I'll see sumptin to laugh about. Letcha no.

Ms. Susan Sagsalot

[elye]

I'm going to take a shower -maybe if I look down, I'll see sumptin to laugh about.

Or cry about. . . . .....

I looked down this early mornin', and was not larfin'......it was grimacing that I was doing, as I had my mammogram done. Incredible how one's breast just becomes something so foreign, so bizarre-looking, like something that could never be part of one's body, when squished between those glass plates.

[jerseyangel]

Oh Emily, I never look down.....(shudder).....

[celiac-mommy]

Um, yeah.....these things could interfere with the new Official Face Recognition Template System that has been put in place. One can wear a burqa or turban, covering the head, hair and forehead.... . ......but you'd best not be smilin' whilst you sport these things, as a smile will disguise you big time!

We have them licenses here in Worshington too. Me poor 4y/o son's ID looks like dem mug shots. Sad tang is, it probbly won't be his first...

I looked down this early mornin', and was not larfin'......it was grimacing that I was doing, as I had my mammogram done.

Had me first'n last week. Me gyno felt me up and found a nugget of somphin in thar, thought she shood torture me sommore, twas a site I don't EVER want to see agin-as if my perception of my booblessness wasn't enough, I had to see them stretched out like they were comin out of a fondant sheeter

Me inlaws arrrrr comin today, along with the nit-wit of a bro-in-law. I'm gonna need some pserrrriousss vodka tonight!!!

My baby girl turns 8 today. Gawd it seems like yesterday her enormous head was----never mind, hurts too bad to think about She gets her braces off in a month--tell Ripper the pain only lasts a few days....and then they tighten the damn things again next month and start all over. Might want to take stock in Advil

Hope you all have a fabuloso and psuper psillie Friday!!

[jerseyangel]

My baby girl turns 8 today.

My baby boy turns 25 today! (I miss him )

Don't get me started (again) on license fotos.....I had a rare and perphectly nice one from PA--my Tex-Ass one has me looking like a prison escapee No smile--I actually look mean.....and/or pisssed

[JNBunnie1]

Y'know, this whole mammogram thing pisses me off, because they have technology that's more reliable, completely non invasive, and doesn't expose you to radiation. It's 'too expensive' though. I have to wonder how many cases of breast cancer mammograms have CAUSED.

OH! Oh! I made peach cobbler!!!

[mushroom]

Oh Emily, I never look down.....(shudder).....

How CAN you look down during that manoover anyways? One arm wrapped around de machine in a bear hug with the corner of de machine digging painfullly into armpit, the other clutching anything that will help you keep your balance as you are instructed "Move towards me a bit, no move back, now turn and face de machine, no, not your head dummy, your body, turn your head dis way, put your chin there, wait dat doesn't look like it's hoiting you enough, let me clamp it down some more, get your belly out of dere and with your third hand hold dat other boob out of de way, now your head's wrong, look up dere, all right now hold your breath" as if you can breathe at that point anyway. Repeat procedure three times, and one additional time because she fllubbed one.....Ah, de boobogram

[jerseyangel]

I have an internal argument with myself every time I go for a mammogram. I skipped 2 years previous to this last one in June and by the time I had it I was so nervous that they were going to find something that by the time I got the results in the mail 3 weeks later (they had to send up to NJ to get my films--wouldn't read until they arrived) that I literally burst into tears when I saw they were "normal".

My instinct is to keep a good eye on any changes myself and forgo the radiation, but there's always the nagging question of what if. I hate the invassiveness of it and it causes me a great deal of anxiety.

Gawd.....that wasn't very silly

[jerseyangel]

.....and with your third hand hold dat other boob out of de way...

You have captured the procedure poiphectly, Shroom!

[celiac-mommy]

My baby boy turns 25 today! (I miss him )

Don't get me started (again) on license fotos.....I had a rare and perphectly nice one from PA--my Tex-Ass one has me looking like a prison escapee No smile--I actually look mean.....and/or pisssed

My last one was good, the gal actually re-took the photo 3x to get a good one. They weren't very busy that day Maybe I should be offended that she wanted to re-take it 3x....

[jerseyangel]

My last one was good, the gal actually re-took the photo 3x to get a good one. They weren't very busy that day Maybe I should be offended that she wanted to re-take it 3x....

I got a mean woman--phirst, she yelled at me to stand on the right phloor tile and then she said "ready?" and by the time the word was out of her mean mouth, she snapped the picture

Mean as a snake, that one

[JNBunnie1]

I got a mean woman--phirst, she yelled at me to stand on the right phloor tile and then she said "ready?" and by the time the word was out of her mean mouth, she snapped the picture

Mean as a snake, that one

Try goin to your local AAA office next time, they do license renewals (I think for a small fee) and they're WAY more friendly and WAY less busy. The people at mine were super cool.

[jerseyangel]

Try goin to your local AAA office next time, they do license renewals (I think for a small fee) and they're WAY more friendly and WAY less busy. The people at mine were super cool.

Really??!! I never knew that

[elye]

"Move towards me a bit, no move back, now turn and face de machine, no, not your head dummy, your body, turn your head dis way, put your chin there, wait dat doesn't look like it's hoiting you enough, let me clamp it down some more, get your belly out of dere and with your third hand hold dat other boob out of de way, now your head's wrong, look up dere, all right now hold your breath"

Yup, exactement.. . . ......well, at least she didn't tell me I couldn't smile. Thank goodness, because that is exactly what we all feel like doing as the plates are compressed - - just couldn't help myself.. . .......

I got a mean woman--phirst, she yelled at me to stand on the right phloor tile and then she said "ready?" and by the time the word was out of her mean mouth, she snapped the picture

Mean as a snake, that one

Was she funny-looking, like mine? Well, you guys are allowed to smile, so a face like a can of worms is not a problem for youse down there. .. . . ....

[jerseyangel]

Was she funny-looking, like mine? Well, you guys are allowed to smile, so a face like a can of worms is not a problem for youse down there. .. . . ....

We're allowed to smile, this one didn't give me the chance to smile

Oh well, whaddayagonnado

[ranger]

Where is everyone? If you think I was nonphunni yesterday, I am 50 times more nonphunni today. I'm going to take a shower -maybe if I look down, I'll see sumptin to laugh about. Letcha no.

Ms. Susan Sagsalot

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And it's lasted all day!

I'M A SHINLESS, TITLESS, BUTTLESS WONDER OF A WOMAN! Almost went down the drain.

[ranger]

Ah, the yearly bamogram. Can You imagine what it's like for a woman with no titlelists. Owy! Then, they told me I had tiny lumpets, so I had to have a cervical biopsy. Tips to small for a needle biopsy!

Upside- everything Ok

Downside- my left booblet is even smaller.

I WANT SOME JUNK FOOD!

[blueeyedmanda]

Wow- over 12 hours and no posts....did all the sillies vacate for the long holiday weekend? Anyway- we are still sorting out all of our plans. I really want to get to the beach\