The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

Thought maybe we could all use a phunny story.....

A SHORT LOVE STORY

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who

were both married to other people, found themselves assigned

to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,

they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper

berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,

'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into

the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow! That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied, 'Get your own f***king blanket!'

After a moment of silence, he farted.

The End

[Jestgar]

So, the agonizing wait for the vet's call.. . . . ....then we likely have some agonizing decisions to make.. .. . . .... ...

Yuck. Not a great fiscal year. . . ....!

I'm so sorry Em. I went through this with Max who had cancer after a year of living with me. The best I could come up with is that, if he was destined to have only one year left to live, I'm very glad it was with me where he was loved and pampered, and not in a kennel or a shelter where he was just another box on a list.

I don't know why our friends sometimes have to leave us so soon after coming into our lives, but I do know that young master Charles needed you, and you were there for him when he called. Whatever happens next is OK. You have done the right thing.

[Jestgar]

ok, so, if you ever want something sweet, but don't have anything your house, do NOT munch on those fruit flavored fiber crunchies. :ph34r: I'm just sayin'

on the up side, I feel really.......skinny......

[celiac-mommy]

I'm so sorry Em. I went through this with Max who had cancer after a year of living with me. The best I could come up with is that, if he was destined to have only one year left to live, I'm very glad it was with me where he was loved and pampered, and not in a kennel or a shelter where he was just another box on a list.

I don't know why our friends sometimes have to leave us so soon after coming into our lives, but I do know that young master Charles needed you, and you were there for him when he called. Whatever happens next is OK. You have done the right thing.

When I was in high school we adopted the cutest pomeranian, his name was Chuck , anyway, after a year, Chuck started having really bad seizures, multiple times a day. I had already left for college, so it was my sweet mama who took care of him for me. Thank God for that woman. Chuck became her baby, he needed her as much as she needed him. He only lived about 7 years and developed diabetes in his last few years, so he was getting shots of dilanten and insulin multiple times a day. As hard as it was to take care of him, she wouldn't have traded him for the world. I know if he had ended up with another family, they wouldn't have cared for him the way she did. Ah, crap, now I'm crying again

ok, so, if you ever want something sweet, but don't have anything your house, do NOT munch on those fruit flavored fiber crunchies. :ph34r: I'm just sayin'

on the up side, I feel really.......skinny......

Thar she blows!!!! :lol:

Actually, I do need to lose a few pounds.......

[elye]

Thanks for all the kind words, guys. . . . . . .. ..youse is the best. . .. . .. ..

No phone call today. Tomorrow, methinks. .. .......

[Lisa]

Emily, take heart that dogs can fully recover from heart worms. What can harm a dog, is to give them heart worm preventative, while having active heart worms. You're in a better place, for recovery.

[DingoGirl]

Had to log on to check on Charles.........no phone call yet, Em? Crap.......I'd be ringing them off the hook. (am known to be psychotic over my pets)

But - your situation has prompted my visit to vet on Friday morning.....I have never given my animals/dogs heartworm medication Stinker lived a full 14 years (cancer survivor, but never any heartworm, AND I didn't give her ANY shots for the last 10 years of her life, except rabies, after her chemo - she was fine)........so I'm thinking I am a bad mother. Weezee's annual checkup this week and I WILL be starting her on heartworm meds.

Praying for Charles

Thought maybe we could all use a phunny story.....

A SHORT LOVE STORY

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who

were both married to other people, found themselves assigned

to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,

they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper

berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,

'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into

the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow! That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied, 'Get your own f***king blanket!'

After a moment of silence, he farted.

The End

:lol: x 55

excellent - I have sent it on

I'm so sorry Em. I went through this with Max who had cancer after a year of living with me. The best I could come up with is that, if he was destined to have only one year left to live, I'm very glad it was with me where he was loved and pampered, and not in a kennel or a shelter where he was just another box on a list.

I don't know why our friends sometimes have to leave us so soon after coming into our lives, but I do know that young master Charles needed you, and you were there for him when he called. Whatever happens next is OK. You have done the right thing.

*sniff* what Jess said. So very true. And then they go to Dog Heaven, and 'tis all explained in this book, which I have and read regularly - it makes me SO happy:

http://www.(Company Name Removed - They Spammed This Forum and are Banned)/Dog-Heaven-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/0590417010/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1271295484&sr=1-1

ok, so, if you ever want something sweet, but don't have anything your house, do NOT munch on those fruit flavored fiber crunchies. :ph34r: I'm just sayin'

on the up side, I feel really.......skinny......

WHOT? what ARE these blast-off snax of which you speak? I NEED TO LOSE SEVEN POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I was in high school we adopted the cutest pomeranian, his name was Chuck , anyway, after a year, Chuck started having really bad seizures, multiple times a day. I had already left for college, so it was my sweet mama who took care of him for me. Thank God for that woman. Chuck became her baby, he needed her as much as she needed him. He only lived about 7 years and developed diabetes in his last few years, so he was getting shots of dilanten and insulin multiple times a day. As hard as it was to take care of him, she wouldn't have traded him for the world. I know if he had ended up with another family, they wouldn't have cared for him the way she did. Ah, crap, now I'm crying again

*sniff*

Our babies are lucky to have us..........

Hey, where is Gianknit? And how is JoDog doing, and Skeeter and Smack? Do I have to go back 20 pages to find out?

Emily, take heart that dogs can fully recover from heart worms. What can harm a dog, is to give them heart worm preventative, while having active heart worms. You're in a better place, for recovery.

Thanks Lisa - I did not know this - having all blood work done Friday........Weezee has been running nearly every day for the past six months with her new "pack" in a ponding basin with kind of a........swamp in the middle, filled with sludge and duck/geese poop (and sperm pollen )........no telling what she can pick up there.

I DO know that dogs can recover from heartworm - but it's costly

[jerseyangel]

Mornin' sills.....

Thinking about Em and wee Charles this morning.

Gloomy day here today--drizzle that is supposed to continue through the weekend. Ah well, we've had a spectacular run lately--80 during the day and cool nights.

Yes, WIH is Jan-it?? Am I going to have to go over to FB and phind her?

Ok then.....(tumbleweeds....)

[curlyfries]

Yes, WIH is Jan-it?? Am I going to have to go over to FB and phind her?

I FOUND HER!!!!

I see you reading, Jan-knit

More later......tax stuph to do

[kareng]

Patti: Funny story

Jess : That was beautiful

Suze: My dog gets a leperosporosis vaccine. It's something nasty in standing water.

Trying to reply from my iPad & it dosen't work well with this forum. I think I will name my iPad Maxi.

Robotics is going well so far. Some guest in the hotel kept complaining about the kids. They were asleep for hours and he kept calling the desk to complain. Robot working well so far.

[Darn210]

Hey, where is Gianknit? And how is JoDog doing, and Skeeter and Smack? Do I have to go back 20 pages to find out?

I'm here, I'm here . . . I've been on to keep caught up, but just busy and haven't posted.

The project from hell has been completed and turned in . . . next up is the presentation. They've been going on all week. Skeeter is scheduled to go tomorrow. They are suppose to talk for 5-7 minutes. The teacher times them on a stopwatch. Can you believe it?? These are 8 and 9 year olds!!! . . . Now in the interest of fairness, if they haven't talked long enough, the teacher asks them some leading questions about some of the info they've presented so that they'll keep going. Can't wait to be finally done. The good news is that the man that Skeeter interviewed gave her some horseshoes for part of her presentation and he told her she can keep them . . . GOODY!!! Rusty HorseShoes!!! . . . but Skeeter is grinning from ear to ear about 'em.

I joined Weight Watchers this week. I have a bet with a friend that I would lose 25 pounds by October 1st. It was made last October and so far I have lost nada . . . so I figured if I want to have any sort of chance, I better get started. Soooooooooo, Jess, what are these fruity fiber crunchies of which you speak?

Em . . . so sorry to hear about Charles. And I do know that it is recoverable . . . and expensive. Did you say you got him at a shelter? They may be able to help you with the cost . . . at least get you whatever drugs for a reduced price since it does sound like he had them when he was there . . . just a thought. What will be, will be and whatever happens, he's had a good home.

[Darn210]

More later......tax stuph to do

Hey . . . you've got till midnight . . . what's the big hurry??

Good Luck KareInn!! (and to yer boyz, too!!)

[Darn210]

Oh . . . also needed to report that we have jumped on the Udi's Bread Bandwagon here!!! OMG!!! MUCH better than anything else out there. It just recently arrived at a local Whole Foods . . . and pricing wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The crust is . . . edible!!!! Trying to pace Skeeter so that she doesn't become a total bread junky . . . she never was before her diagnosis . . . and certainly not since . . . but she's had three slices of bread today. That's more than she usually has in a week.

[jerseyangel]

So jealous about the Udi's! My Whole Foods has their complete line--looks so good but I'm really intolerant to tapioca. Gives me the worst stomach pain and a oddly dry mouth

Ugh....drenched in sweat ....all of a sudden the TV and internet stopped working this afternoon. I know how to re-boot the TV, no prob, but I couldn't get the internet to connect so I called Comcast.

The girl has me take the battery out of the router, and when I put it back a minute later the home security alarm starts ringing. The phone at this point is dead, Mark is getting on a plane in an hour and is out of touch and I'm standing here like an idiot.

Somehow, the phone rings and it's ADT asking is everything is ok. I'm so glad they called, I almost start blubbering. After giving the proper ID, she connected me with a tech who helped me re-set the unit.

I'm exhausted

[Darn210]

Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . no vomitous episodes from Skeeter for the last two weeks (although I am expecting one within the next few days). I'm beginning to think that this is just the way she is when she has had a long term glutening (I told you guys that I found something she was ingesting, right?) . . . and that when it happens, her system has to be rebooted. Now it seems that Patti has become an expert on rebooting systems, so next time, I shall just call Patti instead of visiting any a$$hat doctors.

[mushroom]

Ugh....drenched in sweat ....all of a sudden the TV and internet stopped working this afternoon. I know how to re-boot the TV, no prob, but I couldn't get the internet to connect so I called Comcast.

The girl has me take the battery out of the router, and when I put it back a minute later the home security alarm starts ringing. The phone at this point is dead, Mark is getting on a plane in an hour and is out of touch and I'm standing here like an idiot.

Somehow, the phone rings and it's ADT asking is everything is ok. I'm so glad they called, I almost start blubbering. After giving the proper ID, she connected me with a tech who helped me re-set the unit.

I'm exhausted

Yeah, a modern house with all the gizmos, when you're not a techie, is a real pain in the butt when things go wrong, go wrong, go wrong.

(Sorry, shouldn't laugh, but sometimes this non-techie makes more sense about things than techie spouse who "thinks" he knows it.)

Gianknit, I'm sure Skeeter will do just fine. Mothers always worry so...

Eminem, have been thinking all day about Charles and keeping my fingers crossed for you all.

[jerseyangel]

Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . no vomitous episodes from Skeeter for the last two weeks (although I am expecting one within the next few days). I'm beginning to think that this is just the way she is when she has had a long term glutening (I told you guys that I found something she was ingesting, right?) . . . and that when it happens, her system has to be rebooted. Now it seems that Patti has become an expert on rebooting systems, so next time, I shall just call Patti instead of visiting any a$$hat doctors.

Hee! I pheel very empowered now! of course an hour ago I was close to losing it...

About Skeeter, Jan-it--I also sort of go through a re-booting, so to speak--after a gluten reaction. I missed what she was eating that got her, but if she ate it over and over (not realizing) it might just be her system getting back to normal slowly. I don't vomit, but I get bloating and trapped gas (lovely visual, I know ) that can continue on for weeks afterwards. Her reactions may be changing too, which I understand can happen over time. Mine have, I know that.

[jerseyangel]

Yeah, a modern house with all the gizmos, when you're not a techie, is a real pain in the butt when things go wrong, go wrong, go wrong.

Don't I know it....things used to be so simple

Way too much fer me pea brain to compute sometimes

[Jestgar]

Open Original Shared Link

they are quite tasty

[JNBunnie1]

Am I mistaken, or did a good few people report reacting to Udi's bread from gluten contamination?

Waiting on news from Emmel... How's Mr Charles?

[DingoGirl]

Robotics is going well so far. Some guest in the hotel kept complaining about the kids. They were asleep for hours and he kept calling the desk to complain. Robot working well so far.

what.......they were complaining when the kids were.......sleeping?

Oh . . . also needed to report that we have jumped on the Udi's Bread Bandwagon here!!! OMG!!! MUCH better than anything else out there. It just recently arrived at a local Whole Foods . . . and pricing wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The crust is . . . edible!!!! Trying to pace Skeeter so that she doesn't become a total bread junky . . . she never was before her diagnosis . . . and certainly not since . . . but she's had three slices of bread today. That's more than she usually has in a week.

GIAN-KNIT!!!!!!!!!!! Happy to hear from you, and am SO excited to try the Udi bread.........allegedly it's at our Whole Foods........I MUST go but am askeert at to the amount I may eat..........

did not know you'd gotten to the bottom of The Skeet's vomiting? what WOZ she eating??? So glad she's better, and this report is almost over

So jealous about the Udi's! My Whole Foods has their complete line--looks so good but I'm really intolerant to tapioca. Gives me the worst stomach pain and a oddly dry mouth

Ugh....drenched in sweat ....all of a sudden the TV and internet stopped working this afternoon. I know how to re-boot the TV, no prob, but I couldn't get the internet to connect so I called Comcast.

The girl has me take the battery out of the router, and when I put it back a minute later the home security alarm starts ringing. The phone at this point is dead, Mark is getting on a plane in an hour and is out of touch and I'm standing here like an idiot.

Somehow, the phone rings and it's ADT asking is everything is ok. I'm so glad they called, I almost start blubbering. After giving the proper ID, she connected me with a tech who helped me re-set the unit.

I'm exhausted

PADS! technical HELL! Glad you got out

Now it seems that Patti has become an expert on rebooting systems, so next time, I shall just call Patti instead of visiting any a$$hat doctors.

yup, and she speaks English, too!

Geoss - that link was just tablets? Are there bars? Am MOST interested in fiber bars.......

Also checked in to see about Charlie..........very concerned we haven't heard anything........... Emmel?

[Jestgar]

just tabs. little circles of pure inulin I think.

[elye]

Well.. . . . . .... ...

FALSE POSITIVE!!!!!

:) :)

The vet assistant called this evening with the results.... . . . . ..my vet is calling me tomorrow to answer any questions I might have. I ain't got no questions - - I'm just too happy. ...... . ..

Tired. And HAPPY!

Glad to hear about Skeeter, Jyaghnutt!

Paghtee's modern home.. . . .

[jerseyangel]

OMG Em....it's a miracle!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

I'm so beyond happy and relieved for all of you--especially Charles

Dang that is some good news!!!!

[jerseyangel]

....and by all means Em--get some rest! Betcha sleep well tonight :D