The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[nikki-uk]

This just in: Blocked toilet phlooded all over the bathroom floor :bigtimegagface:

...And it's, what......35 posts late. . . . ......

Hanus poo crimes

[elye]

OH Psuezhelle!!!, t'was in the news!!!!!!!!

Bloody hell!!! No expense spared either!!

Open Original Shared Link

Soooooze! You really did a number on yer hair. . ... . ..and you plucked yer eyebrows, as well -- good thinking. Um. .. . ...yeah, you may not want to, uh. . . .. ... discourage this young, incredibly interested Irish bloke. . . ......

[Darn210]

This just in: Blocked toilet phlooded all over the bathroom floor :bigtimegagface:

...And it's, what......35 posts late. . . . ......

You know it doesn't work like that!!!! . . . you should have staged something!!!! . . . something easy . . . spilt a glass of ginger ale or sommat!!

Time to check yer ballcock!!

[DingoGirl]

That must be where you learned the special ops coyote ugly maneuver.

If I'm not mistaken, so was Jeffrey Dahmer, wasn't he?

Well, actually, he doesn't sound all that bad, just annoying. What the hell, let him buy you dinner, Suze. Just be safe, 'kay?

no, he's not murderous or evil, I am sure of it.....just very needy......

I could get a free sushi dinner out of it.........

<hope to GAWD he never finds all of this here, but stalkerish leanings may lead to that, if I am not careful>

Actually, it sounds like Faulkner. This would be HEMINGWAY. . ...

She sat in the pub. A randy boy sat down next to her, and told her he'd fought a bull, written a novel, shot an elephant and fathered a son. She knew there would ne'er be another such Ubermensch cross her path again .. . . ..

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

<must now copy and paste that onto my facebook also - just messin' with peeps>

just fabulous....look at the FODDER the poor chap has given us

OMG!!! PSILLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ray-chaelle is cracking ME UP here!!

...so quick off the mark.... I can't keep up....

_{can she EVEN remember a time when she wasn't a psilly???? ....HA!! of course not!! ....none of us can}

I know - she has PSERIOUSLY upped the wackl, as has Shroom

It's good - they keep us sharply psilly - no slacking off here

Psychotic, almost fully Irish, needy, un dx'd cOeliac men texting at all hrs???

PFFFTTTT!!!!! Just another day in SB's life

if only........if only I could have seen things this clearly through all of the gluten-brained dating years........

I coulda BEEN somebody

Susan Boyle's makeover - - OMG - that is my hair in its near-full dandelion state

This just in: Blocked toilet phlooded all over the bathroom floor :bigtimegagface:

...And it's, what......35 posts late. . . . ......

yes, hanus poo crimes indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<me very own toilet is clogged as we speak - I am avoiding it >

Soooooze! You really did a number on yer hair. . ... . ..and you plucked yer eyebrows, as well -- good thinking. Um. .. . ...yeah, you may not want to, uh. . . .. ... discourage this young, incredibly interested Irish bloke. . . ......

I KNOW it!!!!!!!! he thinks I"m beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why did he have to be so needy

I now must send a text - he JUST sent another one, asking for my email so he could "write me about himself"

this beats all.

[Jestgar]

(As a general statement)

Nearly escaped a (not) flushing event m'self. What's going on? Somebody nearing a HUGE number?

Resume is almost done. Switched from the "I know how to" format to the "You need me because" format. I wish there were a way to incorporate personal events into the wording:

"Processed over 700 samples with no loss of RNA integrity and a less that 5% error rate while running to the toilet every 20 minutes."

[DingoGirl]

Nearly escaped a (not) flushing event m'self. What's going on? Somebody nearing a HUGE number?

<I just dealt with mine, but ignored it for a good two hours >

THERE"S PTAUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He must have heard about the Louis Tr

[Darn210]

hate, hate, HATE my hair

Janie fixed it in back but......it looks like a pyramid now

Everytime Susie gets her hair cut . . . I get to reuse this av . . . man, I'm gonna keep this puppy forever!! . . . it's never gonna go outta style!!!

[elye]

"Processed over 700 samples with no loss of RNA integrity and a less that 5% error rate while running to the toilet every 20 minutes."

I would be impressed with this, as a potential employer . .. .Some other crucial lifepoints you must reference in this CV:

-Scared the sh!t out of resident coyote while naked (willingness to take risks)

-Can withstand colorectal processing of jalapenos (integrity)

-Can create and utilize original language -- civckeb, ovenmn, etc. (self-starter, creative).. . .. . ...

hate, hate, HATE my hair

New av, puleeeeeze. . . ......we wanna see!!!

[DingoGirl]

Everytime Susie gets her hair cut . . . I get to reuse this av . . . man, I'm gonna keep this puppy forever!! . . . it's never gonna go outta style!!!

gahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol:

well you sill, that is an INVERTED pyramid.....have we had this discussion before?

you turned it upside on its hayed.

but really, it is slightly orange also.....me hair.

I hate it.

but yer crackin' me up

I would be impressed with this, as a potential employer . .. .Some other crucial lifepoints you must reference in this CV:

-Scared the sh!t out of resident coyote while naked (willingness to take risks)

-Can withstand colorectal processing of jalapenos (integrity)

-Can create and utilize original language -- civckeb, ovenmn, etc. (self-starter, creative).. . .. . ...

:lol:

and don't forget

MULTI-TASKING:

"able to carry on and efficiently interact with parallel, wackl universes whilst working and scaring off wildlife"

<that sentence coulda been funnier but.......I can't find me words right now >

check facebook for new (pub) photo. I didn't cut much off. But you can see how phat and bloated and haggardly I am, on there. I am getting an eyelid lift on MONDAY.

I really am not enjoying the aesthetic toll the aging process is taking.

[Jestgar]

check facebook for new (pub) photo. I didn't cut much off. But you can see how phat and bloated and haggardly I am, on there. I am getting an eyelid lift on MONDAY.

I really am not enjoying the aesthetic toll the aging process is taking.

Dang. Fluffer-Nutter really is a knockout, isn't she?

But, fortunately, Suse, even in your haggard and aging state you're pretty striking.

I wouldn't settle for the small-thumbed guys just yet....

[DingoGirl]

Dang. Fluffer-Nutter really is a knockout, isn't she?

But, fortunately, Suse, even in your haggard and aging state you're pretty striking.

I wouldn't settle for the small-thumbed guys just yet....

thanks Geoss. But - it is admittedly quite pscary when yer stomach sticks out further than yer boobs.

Fluffy Nutter

No - not admittedly - -

DEFINITELY scary.

[elye]

I wouldn't settle for the small-thumbed guys just yet....

...... .Nor the wee Hispanic ones.. . . ......

What in hell is you talkin' about, Sooooooze?? You are gorgeous. Truly.

[Darn210]

gahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol:

well you sill, that is an INVERTED pyramid.....have we had this discussion before?

you turned it upside on its hayed.

but really, it is slightly orange also.....me hair.

I hate it.

but yer crackin' me up

:lol:

Yes!!! We've had this discussion before . . . that's how I came up wif the av in the first place . . . shall we take a walk down memory lane . . . to September 2007. . .

Did I mention that my HAIR is RUINED???????????????? Bad cut and wrong color....it is somewhat like an orange PYRAMID atop my head, and no, there will be no photos posted......

Really puts a gal in a bad mood though, don't it??????????

Must work on finding new stylist toute de suite (or is that just toute suite? Emily? can't remember) to fix things.............

NIKKEIGH!!!!!!!!!!!! You must come for an emergency hair consultation and intervention!!!!!!!!!!

Open Original Shared Link she is!!! Or rather . . . her new hairstyle.

This is where there was a link to the "original" orange haired troll doll . . . no longer there.

invert the troll's hair the other way - I am sure you math geeks have a name for that triangular shape - and that would be more like it.

Really??? . . . Invert it??? . . . That doesn't seem right at all!

As you can see, I was only following Susie's directions . . . the defense rests, your honoUr.

[jerseyangel]

Gawd--I've missed so much--youse guys have been on fire!!!

Right now, as we speak, I'm in the club house and right across the street there's a Kenny Chesney concert getting started We are in a very fortuitous location here, in that we can go up to the roof of this building (across from ours) and hear the concerts.

On Friday, they organized a Dave Matthews party since he was playing over there. (we did not attend....) Nothing big planned here tonight--Mark and I are going up in a little while.

Sillies--hee!! There's a Stepford blonde in here using a computer--making small talk wif Mark I don't think she knows we're together

It's hotbed of activity here tonight--people frolicking in the pool, someone playing the piano in the other room ......I outta get out more

See ya'll tomorrow

[Jestgar]

sent me new resume out.

scary

_{hate rejection}

[mimommy]

sent me new resume out.

scary

_{hate rejection}

Uh...yeah. Don't call us--we'll call you.

[mimommy]

Sqwuigglin' with Suze again!!!! What's that, the third time this week? My husband's gonna get jealous

Actually, it sounds like Faulkner.

This would be HEMINGWAY. . ...

She sat in the pub. A randy boy sat down next to her, and told her he'd fought a bull, written a novel, shot an elephant and fathered a son. She knew there would ne'er be another such Ubermensch cross her path again .. . . ..

That is sooo funny that you said that, I was thinking the same thing as I wrote it...

"Twas the best of lines, twas the worst of lines"

Eggsellent Hemingway, dahlin'. I could nearly smell the cuban cigars and fish markets, hear the waves roll and the muskets blast.

thanks Geoss. But - it is admittedly quite pscary when yer stomach sticks out further than yer boobs.

Try having the twins enter a room a full three seconds before you

[Darn210]

sent me new resume out.

scary

_{hate rejection}

Got yer eye on sumptin, Jess? . . . or just a general "time to get outta here".

. . . and a good luck to ya

[Jestgar]

A very cool company Open Original Shared Link

mapping the brain.

Open Original Shared Link who cofounded microsoft, like to fund things he thinks are fun.

[elye]

Dear gawd.. . . ...here is a li'l heads up for anyone approaching a momentous post number: Do not, I repeat do not, feel a sense of relief wash over you as the first days pass by deluge-free. It sometimes takes twenty or thirty posts for everything to line up and the elements to be readied at Cataclysm Central.

BIG toilet overflow yesterday, and this morning I awoke to a fetid smell. Got up, looked down the hallway and there, by the back patio door, was a huge, spectacular deposit of liquid diarrhea. Elsie. It was the actual size of the dog....quite amazing, as she's a big girl. . . . ...

So THAT was a wonderful way to start my day. Funny how the kids had arisen, were looking for breakfast, and then suddenly were gone. It was a one-man clean-up.

Try having the twins enter a room a full three seconds before you

Holy crap.. . . . ..Raechull really does have huge boobs. .. . ..

Where in hell is Amanda? I'm thinking that I should know this, as she hasn't posted in a while and no one has said anything. . . ... . . ......is she away?

[Darn210]

hmmmmmm . . . so Elsie is completely hollow now????

I don't know where Amanda is . . . but I did skip some pages when I got behind.

cool beans, jess!

[psawyer]

Amanda hasn't been seen in six days. I hope all is well.

More sunshine here in Markham. No more r**n expected until Thursday.

[curlyfries]

Luvved it! Wish I had such talent. When I break out into song (and I do, quite regularly) people tend to get these thinly veiled, polite little smirks on their faces

But do I care? Naught.

Love me, or leave me. Cuz I's still gonna sing

Same here!!!!....I always tell people, "I sing for my own pleasure....not for anyone else's"

[jerseyangel]

sent me new resume out.

scary

_{hate rejection}

Jess--they will be lucky to have you! Sending lots and lots of positive thoughts

Yeah--hope all is well with Amanda....

I turned on the laptop to put in some pictures and lo and behold, I am connected to the WiFi from the club house! I noticed I was connected to the internet (the lil globe at the bottom...), and checked.....so....don't know how or why, but I'm back.....fer now

PeOter--WIH????

Oh Em--hope Elsie is ok. Makes the usual puddle of pee next to the litter box seem inconsequential.

One day of lower humidity!!!!! Windows already open

[jerseyangel]

Sillies! Look at me new av!

We came upon him whilst taking a drive Immediately made Mark strop and take a pic of this silly giant relaxing beneath a tree

I figure he'll come in handy fer parades, getting things down off of high shelves, helping Soozle around the yard, etc.......

We will need to name him.....